by Jodi Redford
She dropped her stare to her lap and clasped her hands together. “Nothing. He couldn’t say it back. Because he doesn’t love me.”
“Did he specifically tell you that?”
“Well...no.”
“So you just assumed and you’re now putting words in his mouth for him?”
“Damn it, no.” She volleyed her mom’s calm reason with a glare. “You’re supposed to be taking my side in this.”
“Sweetheart, this isn’t about sides. This is about you. You can be your own worst enemy sometimes. I don’t want you shutting the door on a chance of happiness because you’re afraid.”
“I’m not the one doing the shutting. He is.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes.”
Her mom offered another of those long, evasive stares before patting Jane’s knee and pushing to her feet. “I’m going to check on your father. When he’s this quiet it usually means he’s snuck a bologna sandwich past me.”
Narrowing her eyes, she watched her mom skip out the door. She recognized a deliberate ploy when she saw one. Rather than stick around and argue, her mom had given her the last word. Which would naturally make Jane doubt every damn conclusion she’d drawn.
Except, she sure as hell hadn’t been the one running in the opposite direction of her not-quite-a-relationship with Jack. Even she wasn’t so fucked up to deliberately sabotage herself...
Right?
She scuffed her heel on the carpet, uncertainty an unpleasant taste in her mouth. Aw shit.
There were no ifs, and's, or buts about it. She was that fucked up. Massively so.
Groaning, she buried her face in the pillow. Tempting as it was to suffocate herself, it’d solve nothing. Plus she didn’t really relish the idea of her last moment on earth being relegated to her parent’s RV. Her luck, she’d end up haunting it. An afterlife of naked yoga and poop brown carpet? No fucking thanks.
She tossed the pillow aside. Sinking back on the couch, she transferred her stare to the ceiling. She couldn’t mute the damning truth that kept poking at her conscience. She’d faked sleep last night and rushed out on Jack this morning because she was afraid of his rejection. Instead of facing the possibility of him not loving her, she’d gone on the defense and ended things between them before he could. She’d even thrown one of his lines back at him just to stick that knife in a little deeper.
Yes, but he had all damn day to call you and beg you to come back. What does that tell you? Though it was an epic struggle, she gave her inner voice of logic a timeout in the corner. The point did have some validity to it, but she’d also left no open door for him. If she were in his shoes, would she be quick to pick up the phone? Yeah, that was a no-brainer. Not a chance.
“God, I’m such an idiotic asshole.” Heartsick all over again, she hugged her chest. She’d really blown it. There’d probably be no repairing this colossal mess. If he did have feelings for her, he was probably thanking his lucky stars that he got out—or rather, she pushed him out—before he doomed himself to the craziest piece of work on the planet.
She stared at the weird stain splotch on the ceiling, wisely choosing not to ponder over what it could be. Which left her mulling other difficult decisions. Like how she was going to fix her screw up. Right on cue, the maniacal butter churn revved up again. She didn’t want to do it. Didn’t want to stick her heart out there and face her fears head on. But she had to do it. She owed it to herself, and she owed it to Jack. Maybe she wouldn’t like what he’d have to say. Most likely she wouldn’t. But no more hiding from it.
Hands shaking, she pushed up from the couch and made her way to the door. Her parents were waiting for her outside, wearing twin expressions of hopeful encouragement. Evidently her dad had been filled in on what a blockhead she was. She cleared her throat. “You can cancel the dozen kale cookies.”
They both busted out the biggest damn smiles she’d ever seen. Her pops pulled her in for a fierce hug. “That’s my girl. Now go show him why he’d be a damn moron not to love you too.”
She hoped to God he was on to something there. Because she was about to put her heart in Jack’s hands again. This time there’d be no snarky parting shots.
This time there’d be no running away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Dude, is there a reason you’ve been staring at that ad for erectile dysfunction for the last twenty minutes?”
Snapping out of his brain fog, Jack veered his attention to Trig. “What?”
“Not that I’m judging or anything. Happens to the best of us. Though certainly not moi,” Trig tacked on with a smirk.
Jack glanced at his computer screen and finally noticed the email he’d been in the process of deleting. Or at least he thought he’d cleared it out. His head was such a fucking mess, he didn’t know half of what was going on around him. Grimacing, he clicked the delete button. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah? Didn’t notice,” Trig scoffed. “Only one of us is allowed to be losing his mind. Seeing how I’m the one two days away from tying the knot, I get first dibs.”
Shit. The wedding. Groaning, he dug the heel of his palm into his forehead. “I need to tell you something.”
Concern washed across Trig’s face. “What’s up?”
How the hell was he going to get through this? Not just saying the words, but actually through this fucking disaster? Like a taunting ghost that continually haunted his brain, Jane’s words echoed in his ears. “I won’t settle for a man who can’t say the words back. I deserve a fuck load better than that.”
She did. She deserved someone who didn’t have more baggage than a Delta Airlines flight. She deserved a man who didn’t shut her out, who didn’t keep running from his emotions.
He’d had endless hours last night to think about the man he was, and the man he wanted to be. Without question, he wanted to be everything Jane needed. He just wasn’t sure how to get from who he was to who he could be. Maybe it wasn’t even possible. And after this morning, it was likely too late.
He’d royally fucked up. Dragging his hands down his face, he peered up at Trig. “Jane left me.” He’d created a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not giving Jane the words, he’d forced the only woman he’d ever truly loved into leaving him. He had no one to blame but himself.
His expression appropriately shell-shocked, Trig lowered into the seat facing the desk. “Wow. Not what I was expecting. I always thought...”
“I’d be the one to leave?”
“Pretty much.”
“You and me both.” Planting his elbows on the desktop, he plowed his fingers through his hair and stared blankly at the paperwork scattered in front of him. “She’s in love with me.”
“She told you?” Trig grunted. “Jesus. No wonder she left.” He returned Jack’s frown with a wry twist of his lips. “In case you haven’t noticed, the Campbell siblings have a backassward way of handling our love lives. I nearly drove Marissa away by not telling her I loved her. My sis got the telling part right, but screws up closing the deal by breaking up with you.” He shook his head. “She and I should probably be prohibited from procreating to weed out future generations of Clueless Campbells.”
“I don’t know. Jane might have done herself a huge favor by walking out on me.”
Trig leaned back in his seat and studied him. “Do you remember what you once told me about recognizing a sap on the edge of foolishness?”
He racked his brain, trying to dredge up the conversation. “Vaguely.”
“It was advice you gave me when I was thinking about jumping into a relationship with Marissa.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, he gave his best friend a dubious look. “What was the advice?” Knowing him, it had to be pretty fucking bad. He wasn’t exactly the resident love expert.
“You said whatever I’m thinking, I shouldn’t do it.”
He winced. “Yeah, sounds like me all right.”
“Well, I’m giving you the s
ame advice.”
“You are? But you don’t even know what I’m thinking.”
“Wrong.” Stretching his legs out, Trig propped his shiny black Dr. Martins on the edge of the desk. “You’re thinking if you don’t go after my sister and tell her you love her too, that you’re doing her that solid you mentioned a second ago.”
Okay, so his best friend did know what he was thinking. Shit. “You know damn well I’m a fucking mess.”
“Yeah? So is she. You two would be doing the whole goddamn world a favor keeping your epic level of fuckery minimized to the two of you. Think of the lifetime of Prozac you’re saving some poor unsuspecting victims from by taking each other out of the dating pool.”
His mouth twitched. “Fuck you very much.” Despite the crack, there was no denying that Trig spoke the God’s honest truth.
He and Jane were two severely messed up peas from the same pod.
His words from that incredible first night with Jane ghosted to the foreground of his mind. “The fucked up part of me clearly sees its other half in you.”
It was absolutely true. And he absolutely didn’t want to keep fighting what amounted to being the most intelligent part of him.
He’d find a way to not fuck this up. He’d clamp down on the urge to run. He could goddamn change and be everything he’d thought himself incapable of being. Jane had given him a reason to want to change. He didn’t want to lose her. Not this time. Not ever.
He pushed to his feet and met Trig’s broad smile. “I’m going to save the planet from both of us.”
“About fucking time.”
He strode from his office the same exact second a tall blonde fury stormed her way into the reception area. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the blonde he was hoping to see. Nope, the exact opposite. “Ava, I don’t have time for whatever bitchery is up your ass.”
Her icy glare veered toward Cherrie. “Could we have a moment alone?”
“Cherrie isn’t going anywhere. But I believe you are.” He nodded toward the exit.
“Like hell I am.” She snapped her arms over her chest. “Fine, you want me to air your dirty laundry out here? No problem. Your little whore is not allowed to be around my daughter anymore, is that understood? I’m Sunny’s mother. If you think I’m going to be replaced by that two-bit tramp, you’re sorely mistaken.”
Ava was damn lucky he didn’t believe in raising a hand to a woman. Though listening to her go off on Jane that way, it was fucking tempting. “First of all,” he growled, “if you ever speak that way about Jane again, I can’t be held responsible for how I’ll respond. Secondly, no one is trying to replace you as Sunny’s mother. So get that delusional idea out of your head.”
“Oh no? Then explain this.” Ava dug into her purse and yanked out a piece of colored construction paper. Acting as if the mere touch of it offended her, she slapped the paper against his chest. “I found it in Sunny’s room.”
He smoothed the paper out and scanned it. With her distinctive whimsical five-year-old flair, Sunny had drawn a picture of a giant dog with a spiral sticking out of its forehead. Okay, wait a sec. Yeah, might be a unicorn. The unidog/unicorn had four riders astride its slightly bumpy back. Now he was leaning toward it being a unidinosaur. If that was the case, he’d raised his daughter well.
Anywho...the three figures had bubble names bobbing above their heads. Daddy. Sunny. Jane. Herman.
Ah, yes. He could see why Ava’s panties were in a bunch. She’d been upstaged by Jane and a hamster. Life was a bitch sometimes. “It’s just a picture, Ava. Relax.”
Rather than heeding his advice, she ramped it up to Pissy Level 2.0. “Don’t tell me what to do, you son of a bitch. Furthermore, if you refuse to honor my stipulation about keeping her away from Sunny, I’ll see you in court.”
Any other time, her threat would have had some teeth. Not today. He was done playing her games. No more. “You do that. I’m sure the judge would love to hear about your fondness for Ecstasy.”
Fear flickered in her eyes before she quickly snuffed it. “You wouldn’t have the balls.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You don’t own my balls anymore, so you have no idea what I’m capable of if you push me too far.”
There was no mistaking her hard swallow.
“What’s it going to be, Ava?”
“I—” The front door opened, stalling her answer.
Jack blinked as Jane stepped into the lobby. He was so shocked to see her standing there, he didn’t immediately register the sticky situation she’d just strolled into. He smothered a groan. Aw hell. If Ava flipped her shit this was going to turn all shades of ugly.
As if everything was happening in slow motion, Ava pivoted in the direction of the doorway. Her expression went livid. “You.”
Eyes narrowing, Jane stepped forward. “I’m so glad you’re here. I keep meaning to give ya something.”
Uh, what exactly did that—
Thwwwud. Her arms windmilling, Ava tottered in her stilettos as Jane’s mean left hook landed its target—Ava’s nose. Shrieking a bloody fit, his ex jabbed her finger at Jane. “You crazy bitch! That’s assault! I’ll have your ass for this!” Ava cruised her scowl to Cherrie. “You’re my witness. You saw what she did.”
“I didn’t see anything.” Cherrie removed her glasses and polished them on her collar. “Damn smudge obstructing my vision.”
Ava’s glare jumped to Trig. “I suppose you didn’t see anything either.”
“Nope.”
“Fucking assholes.” Her nose trickling a thin line of blood, Ava slammed her hands against the front door, shoving it open. She exited with a stiff back and an even stiffer middle finger as a final parting shot.
Jane snorted. “Flipping the bird. Fucking classless broad.” She turned back toward them, her droll humor dissipating as she met his gaze. Worry colored her expressive features. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have done that. Even though it felt really good. I’ll take all the heat though. I won’t let her pin any of my craziness on you.”
Breaking his rooted position, he strode to her and pulled her into his arms. A million unspoken words clamored in his brain, but only four mattered. “I fucking love you.” It was insane how afraid he’d been of those words because it felt unbelievably...amazingly...extraordinarily good to say them. Like he’d been waiting a lifetime to release them from his heart.
He had. Because Jane was the one who held the key to that part of him. He kissed her with all the heat, love, and devotion welling inside him. He breathed her in. Soaked her up. He was thoroughly immersed in her and he never wanted to let her go. Pulling back, he touched her hair. Touched her cheeks. Her jaw. He needed to touch her everywhere. To prove to himself she was here. “You are my soulmate. I should have told you that sooner.”
Tears streamed down her face. “God, that’s cheesy. I love it. I love you,” she whispered before wrapping her arms around his neck and lifting her face toward his. “I’m done running.”
“Me too, baby. Me too.”
That was the crazy thing about running. Once he’d stopped and looked at what—at who—was standing right in front of him, the answer was beyond clear.
He was exactly where he needed to be.
EPILOGUE
“By the power vested in me in the state of Michigan, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
Cheers, claps, and several catcalls met Trig and Marissa’s disgustingly enthusiastic lip-lock. Jane might have been the loudest catcall offender, but no one was taking an official poll. Not even Jack. Surprising as hell, considering how big he was on the whole poll taking thing.
Of course, she wouldn’t mind doing a little poll taking of her own. Resisting the urge to indulge in an appropriate eyebrow waggle to accompany her dirty thoughts, she locked arms with her man as they followed the happy newlyweds down the aisle. Jack leaned his head close to hers. “You’re having deliciously perverted thoughts, aren’t you?”
&nb
sp; “I think the true question is—when do I not?”
“Just one of the numerous reasons why I love you.”
She’d never get tired of hearing him say that. Good thing. Because the man never shuts up about it. Morning, noon, and night. Cheese Louise. A broken record, this one. Damn, it was wonderful and awesome. She squeezed his elbow. “Well, you know I’m madly in love with you for countless reasons. I’d bust out a sonnet right here and now, but it’s just not the same without the accompanying interpretive dance.”
“Forgot the clogging shoes again?”
She hiked up the hem of her saffron-hued Maid of Honor dress, revealing her matching satin pumps. “I tried to sweet talk Marissa into the clogging shoes but she wouldn’t go for it. Can you believe that? I think it’s the least she owes me since she’s going to Disney World on her honeymoon without me.”
“Well, it is their honeymoon, dearest. I promise I’ll take you there on ours.”
She nearly tripped over her own feet. “Wait. What?”
He continued moving her along like he hadn’t heard her. “I agree it was very shortsighted of Marissa about the clogging shoes though. She wouldn’t have even needed a band with you providing the entertainment.”
“I know, right? But getting back to our honeymoon...”
He dropped her a patient look. “Yes, baby?”
“Jack Brewster, you are not half-assing a proposal. So get that devious thought out of your aggravating gorgeous head.”
“Okay, then I guess I’ll just have to full ass it when the time is right.”
Damn him for being such an adorable jackass. She pressed closer to him and brushed her mouth below his ear. “Speaking of entertainment, meet me in the downstairs bathroom in fifteen minutes.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You think that’ll be enough time? We still have the pictures to take.”
“Puh-lease. This is me we’re talking about. The One Minute Wonder.”
His chuckle smoky, he swirled his fingertips along the inside of her arm, making her shiver. “Know what I’m wondering?”
