by DRAYER, GINA
But she didn't head back to the boat right away. Directing the taxi to the other side of the island, Beth walked along the beach for a while. She may have gotten some funny looks with her long formal dress gathered in her arms and the strappy silver high heels slung over her back, but she continued to walk, letting the water splash her up her ankles and tried to figure out what to do next.
She walked for the longest time, staring out at the crystal clear water. She loved the water. The ocean, in particular, always helped her think. But she barely saw the picturesque view. Her mind was busy trying to figure out why she'd run.
It wasn't like Matt was her real boyfriend. Sure, they had chemistry, and God could the man kiss, but that wasn't a strong enough reason for her to run and hide at those hateful words she'd overheard.
Maybe it wasn't what was said, but the way Matt had looked at her tonight with promise in his eyes, that had her running. There seemed to be more in that look than just the good time she had been looking for. It felt far more real than she was prepared to handle.
The sky was turning dark and she knew she needed to return to the boat and get ready for dinner. But not yet. She needed a few more minutes to herself and she needed to connect with the water. Not even thinking, Beth stepped further into the crashing surf, letting the water wash up over her calves. This was what she'd needed, some time to think. Being near the sea helped. It was ridiculous really, but she could always count on the ebb and flow of the waves to wash away her worries.
She released her hold on the hem of the dress, and let it swirl in the surf around her. The sharp bite of the wind whipped her hair around her face, and Beth let go of all her fear and panic, letting it wash away with the receding tide. She just needed to keep reminding herself that Matt wasn't Robert, and what they had wasn't real.
Finally feeling better, she caught a cab and returned to the boat. She'd deal with Matt tomorrow.
Chapter 7
Modern Girl Tip #15: Accept It for What It Is—It's a fling; a short-term, fleeting love affair. In order to keep your vacation fling fun and stress free, ensure that your expectations are mutual and neither party will expect something more.
By the time she got back to the boat, Beth felt terrible about leaving the way she did. She had let her own insecurities color her actions. But it hadn't been just the harsh words that had scared her off. The family photos and Matt's heartfelt toast had affected her more than she was willing to admit. The man was a true romantic, and that knowledge was reason enough to keep her distance. He deserved better than her. She didn't know anything about love.
The boat had pulled out of port a few hours ago, and she knew he was back on the ship. So instead of enjoying dinner, she was pacing the upper deck of the boat, feeling bad. Deep down, she knew leaving was the wrong choice. However, she still wasn't seeking out Matt to apologize. Beth was hiding and replaying every alternative choice she could have made.
At the very least, she should have let Matt know where she was going. She probably wouldn't have stayed even if he tried to talk her into it, but he deserved some kind of explanation. Knowing Matt, he would have looked for her. And when he was unable to find her, he would have come to the inevitable conclusion that she'd left him.
Instead of being angry, he would likely be worried about her making it back to the ship safe. Or maybe, he'd assume she left with one of the men at her table. After all, wasn't that what she was planning to do with Matt, a man she barely knew? He had every right to assume she was that kind of woman.
Those thoughts, and a thousand others, filled her head.
So now Beth was tucked away on one of the upper decks, drinking Tequila on an empty shuffleboard court. After her fourth shot, she'd abandoned the cup altogether, and was now contemplating the logistics of sleeping on one of the Adirondack chairs for the night. She needed time. The liquid courage wasn't helping. She hadn't quite found the strength to face up to her mistake. Tomorrow would be soon enough. She'd talk to Matt after breakfast tomorrow. Or maybe after lunch. Most definitely before dinner.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you looked at the party? To be honest, I almost thought I'd imagined it. Up here with the moonlight kissing your skin and the breeze in your hair, you look like something out of a dream. I'm still not sure you're real."
The deep timbre of Matt's voice from behind her sent Beth's heart racing. She hadn't expected him to find her out on the deck alone, drinking. He'd surprised her, and the erratic beat had nothing to do with his words, she'd decided. Even though they were the type of words a man whispers in his lover's ear under the cover of dark. They were the words she'd imagined hearing while wrapped around his body.
Banishing that thought, she turned around to catch him leaning against the railing. His tan jacket was slung over his arm and his white dress shirt was unbuttoned, the tie and vest long since abandoned. She wouldn't have believed he could look any better than he had that afternoon, but his state of half dress made her thoughts turn carnal.
"You left without letting me know. I looked all over the resort for you," he said, confirming her suspicions. "When I realize you weren't there, I left early to find you." Matt looked down at the deck and raked a hand through his hair. "Did I do or say something that upset you?"
"Matt…"
"Just give me a hint here, Beth. Because I really like to know what the fuck is going on?" Matt looked straight at her. Gone were the liquid blue-green eyes that made her quiver on the dance floor. In their place were hard emeralds, devoid of warmth. "One minute you were telling me how much you enjoyed dancing with me and maybe we should take it back to the boat. The next you were gone. After I couldn't find you in your room, I started to think you got a better offer, but I can't believe you'd be as calculating and manipulative as the other women I've know."
His words cut deep. And if he'd been trying to hurt her, he'd picked the right thing to say.
"You have every right to be mad. I agreed to go to the reception, but it was a mistake." Beth took another swig of tequila and dropped it back down to the deck, determined to power on. She needed him to understand. "I'm happy to play vacation girlfriend for your family while we're on the boat if that's what you still want, but don't ask me to do anything like that again."
"Like what? It was just a fucking party. Drink, music, a little dancing. And from where I was standing we were having a good time."
"Matt, I'm not that girl. Whoever it is you saw this afternoon at the party wasn't me. Those people. Your friends. I'm not one of them. I'm not ashamed of who I am or the choices I've made in my life. And I won't be made to feel bad about how I choose to live my life." Beth's voice was loud now. All the anger from earlier pour out. It was misplaced, she knew, but at this point she couldn't stop herself. "I'm not a socialite. I build wells and waste water systems in third world countries. I've lived in huts and bathed in a bucket after spending the day sweating in the mud. I'm not ashamed of my body. I'm smart. I'm dedicated. I'm fun. I'm many things, but the one thing I'm not is a girl who'll put on a dress and smile at people who think I'm less of a person just because I'm not like them."
"I'm lost here, Beth. What is this about? Did someone say something to you?"
"Do you ever listen to them talk?" she asked with a sigh and staggered to her feet, the tequila finally catching up with her. "I mean really listen to the things they say. It's like the only way they can feel good about themselves is by shredding your soul."
Defensively, she wrapped her arms around her middle and fought back tears. All the fight was gone now. She was just left with a cold feeling. And she desperately wanted to get back some of the warmth she'd felt in Matt's arms.
"It doesn't matter." In a few steps, Beth crossed the short distance separating them and pressed a hand to his chest. He tensed, and she could feel the frustration radiating from him. "I am sorry. I'm not sorry I left, but should have told you I was leaving," she said softly.
"I don't understand what happened," Matt said, coverin
g her hand, but not removing it. "I feel like I'm in quicksand around you. The ground is always shifting. What's going on here between you and me? What is it you want from me?"
As they stood cloaked in shadows with the moonlight reflecting off the water, Beth wanted this conversation to be over. She ran her free hand up his chest, threaded her fingers through his hair, and pressed into him as their lips met. The tightness she'd felt under her hand melted away and he kissed her back. It was a soft, questioning kiss, not urgent or filled with need like their others. But there was a longing in that kiss. His longing, as well as her own.
"Stay with me tonight," she whispered against his lips.
"Beth…" He tried to pull back, but she followed.
"No, don't think about it. I'm not asking as Beth, your pretend girlfriend or Beth, the girl you held hands with on the plane. I'm asking as the woman you thought was beautiful standing in the moonlight."
His look turned into liquid heat and he took her mouth again without answering. But he didn't have to say it; she knew he wanted it just as much as she did. He took her hand and led her to the elevator. They raced their way through the hallways like a couple of teens, trying to behave on the way. Instead of heading for her room, Matt guided her through an unfamiliar hallway until they reached his. It didn't matter. Actually it was better this way. Now she could be with him, and still maintain that distance she needed. Distance they both needed.
By the time the door closed, he had her pinned against the wall, his hands pressed on either side of her face. "You know, I don't care what happened this afternoon, I'm just glad we ended up here," he said and kissed her.
His kisses were slow and unrushed, soft yet demanding. He applied just the right amount of pressure and knew how to use his tongue. Fuck, the thought of him using his tongue on other, more private places almost had Beth begging for him to drop on his knees right there.
And they were just getting started. After thoroughly ravishing her lips, he lowered his head to kiss her neck. Unashamed, she threw her head back giving him more access while her hands ran through his hair, encouraging him. Not that he needed the extra prompting. Matt was single minded in his pursuit. He nibbled, suckled, and licked the pulse points along her neck and collarbone, causing every cell in her body to vibrate with need.
It was almost too much to handle. She needed to feel his bare skin against her own, right now.
"I need to have this off." Beth slid a hand down his chest and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt until her fingertips found the solid planes of this chest. His muscles tensed as she brushed her fingers along every hard expanse available.
His hands, in turn, were all over her dress, stroking and pressing. And while she was really getting off on his attention, she wanted the damned thing off. Matt took a step back and swore, his frustrations matching her own.
"Where the fuck is the zipper on that thing?"
She started to laugh. Matt frowned. His eyes burning with heat and he didn't see the humor in the moment. Beth realized she only had seconds to get the dress off before he decided to test the strength of the seams. She eased down the hidden zipper under her arm and the dress pool at her feet. Next, she unhooked her bra and deposited it on top of the discarded dress.
She stood there in just her barely there thong and let his heated gaze devoured her naked flesh. He moved to the button of his pants and removed the rest of his clothes, keeping his eyes locked on her. Beth watched his every move with just as much carnal interest until he was down to just his boxers. But instead of continuing where they'd left off, Matt picked her up. Before she knew what was happening, she found herself flat on her back in the middle of the bed, and he was on her. His attention increased with renewed abandon.
He sucked and nipped at her breast while his hand teased her everywhere at once. The heady sensation had Beth drowning in pleasure. She lost track of where his hands, lips, tongue pressed into her skin until she was panting, ready to beg for him to take her. She reached inside his boxers and stroked his cock. His hard length throbbed in her hand, and she wanted it inside her.
"H-hold on," he breathed, shuddering as she stroked the length of him. "Fuck. You need to stop or this is going to be a really short night. Let me get a condom."
Beth loosened her grip and pressed her forehead against his. "At least one of us is thinking clearly," she sighed. She always used condoms. Hell, she provided them to her interns so they'd be safe. It wasn't like her to get carried away. She had an implant, but that didn't mean they shouldn't be safe.
Matt slid off the bed and rifled through his clothes. When he returned, instead of picking up where they'd left off, he started at the inside of her knee, tracing a line with his tongue.
She lifted to her elbows and tried to lean up.
"Lay back," he said, voice low and commanding, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight of him. Slowly, he kissed a trail up the inside of her thigh. When his mouth reached her sex, he just tucked the condom into her panties and shot her a wicked grin, as if to say, "I'll get to that in a minute." If it were possible to come from just a look, that one would have done it for her. He moved to the other leg, giving it equal attention. Matt worshiped every inch of her exposed skin, until finally he hooked a finger in the band of her panties and pulled down, letting the condom fall to the bed.
Thank God, because Beth was past the point of reason. She was ready to beg. But instead of putting on the condom, she felt his hair brushed the insides of her thighs as he lowered his head. He sucked her clit into his mouth and stroked it with the tip of his tongue.
"Oh God," she groaned, and fisted the bed cover.
He chuckled, sending delicious vibrations to her core. He sucked and teased her with his tongue until her whole body was strung so tight she thought she was ready to shatter.
"Enough. I want you to fuck me, Matt," she said. "I can't wait."
She tried to pull away from the magical things he was doing, but he grabbed her hips, stilling her movement. "Not yet. I've been waiting to have you laid out naked before me for two days now. I'm going to make this last."
He went back to sucking and stroking her with his tongue, letting his fingers slide inside her aching pussy. He curled his fingers and pressed just the right spot as if he had a map to her need. Not easing his attention to her clit, Matt continued slowly stroking her g-spot, until she was screaming her release. Her whole body shook in the aftermath, tiny tremors running across her skin even as the orgasm faded.
Smiling like the proverbial cat, Matt retrieved the condom package from the bed where it had fallen and tore it open with his teeth. He shifted to his knees and kissed her before leaning back to put it on. The taste of herself on his lips was wickedly sensual.
She could have stayed like that forever, but Matt was ready to move to the main events. He positioned himself between her legs. His now sheathed cock slid against her sensitive clit, and she pressed up greedily, wanting to feel him fill her. But he stayed there, teasing her entrance.
"I could have stayed down there all night," he said, slowly rocking his hips against her wetness. "I loved feeling you come against my tongue."
"Matt, please." Not at all ashamed. The anticipation was boiling over, and her world was focused on just this moment. "Please. I need you to fuck me."
"That is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Say it again."
"Damn it. Fuck me."
With one firm thrust, he entered her. Beth closed her eyes, savoring the full feeling of having him deep inside her. It was exactly what she needed. Shifting beneath him, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. The change in position allowed him to penetrate even deeper. She half moaned, half sighed with the feel of him.
His lids had drifted low, hooding his eyes as they found a rhythm. Gone now was the flirtatious teasing from earlier. Left in its place was a burning need that was devouring them both.
"Beth," he said, his voice straining with the effort. "I'm not going to last.
I want you there. Tell me what you need."
"Just don't hold back," she said, feeling her own orgasm just over the horizon. "I'm close."
Matt growled low in his throat and gripped her hips tight, raising her body off the bed. Sliding one hand between them, she stroked her clit along with his thrust. That gave her the extra push she needed and she fell over the edge. Beth cried out her release, shattering in his arms.
"Fuck." Matt pressed his face into the crook of her neck, thrust a few more times, and shuddered through his own release.
Perfection. Just what she needed; a release after a really crappy night of self-doubt. And Matt had been perfect. She was a very physical person and he knew exactly how to push all her buttons.
The silence in the room was broken only by their heavy breathing. Basking in the post-orgasmic glow and still a little tipsy, Beth started to drift off. Neither of them seemed ready to break the spell. Matt shifted, tucking her under his arm and she snuggled in close. His warmth felt good and she relaxed.
Just as she was falling asleep, Matt started stroking her hair. Just like Robert use to do after sex. She was pulled out of the moment with the reminder and turned to get up. Sensing her movement, Matt broke the silence.
"Fuck," he huffed in a long breath.
Well, evidently, he wasn't one for pillow talk. His vocabulary had been reduced to that one word. The absurdity of the thought struck her, and Beth started to laugh. Maybe it was exhaustion coupled with the liquor, but she just couldn't stop.
"A less secure man might have a problem with you laughing." He leaned up on one arm and looked down to where she was lying, still laughing. "Should I be worried?"
"Don't worry. I'm not laughing at you. Well, not exactly. That was all just a little unexpected, but in a good way." Beth rolled over and mounted his hip. "And trust me, hon. You have nothing to feel insecure about. That was—" She paused to grind her hips against his, then closed her eyes and breathed. "—fantastic."
