by Jenni James
The tear spilled over.
“Amanda Ellis, do you even know how inspiring you are? How just by the sound of your music, we were drawn in one by one, to hear you play? Do you think just any pianist can do that? Honestly, do you have any idea how much I so want to be you right now? How much I would love to have something in my life that creates such passion and excitement within me? Holy cow! Hasn’t anyone ever told you how wonderful you really are?” She waited. She actually expected an answer.
“I, uh . . . n–no.” The second tear fell. “No one.”
Except Greg, three years ago.
Thirteen: The Great Escape
Friday morning dawned bright and sunny. By the time I rolled out of bed, Madison had already sneaked out to go on an early-morning swim with Carson. We had been up half the night talking, first of me and then of her horrible/wonderful relationship with Carson. She was totally head over heels, and even though she had treated Collin terribly, I understood what it was like to meet someone and not be able to look away. I didn’t wish her ill—I just hoped Collin would be able to bounce back quickly.
I was a bit late for breakfast, which was good because only Lilly and Kylie were there, and neither of them acted awkward around me. After the first few minutes I began to relax and enjoy the morning. I did manage to spend a while in the music room, but this time I shut the door and played softly to myself. I enjoyed a peaceful hour before someone interrupted me.
“Amanda?”
I looked up at Gregory’s blond head as he peeked into the room.
“Yeah?”
“When you’re done, we’re all meeting in the family room. I have something to show everyone.”
“Oh, okay. I’m finished now.” I quickly stood up and placed the cover carefully over the keys.
“No, don’t stop on my account.”
“No worries.” I smiled up at him. “I’m just trying to get as much out of my system as possible.” I pushed the stool back under the piano, stepped down from the platform, and walked up to him. What? Why is he grinning like that? I almost blushed under his smiling scrutiny.
“I wanted to tell you I enjoyed your playing last night.”
I waved his praise away and looked over at the guitars.
Gregory must’ve gotten the hint, because in the next second he was normal again. “I found a brochure while we were out shopping yesterday, for ATV—all-terrain vehicle—rentals. I’m gathering the group together to see if anyone is interested in going.” Gregory handed me the pamphlet as we started to walk down the hallway to the family room.
“Really?” I glanced at the brochure and was surprised to see that an ATV looked like a jet ski on wheels—four of them, to be exact.
The group was more than excited, and it was finally settled, over my protests, that Gregory would rent an ATV for each of us.
“And no one is getting out of it.” That last part was directed straight at me.
Gregory and Carson left to make the arrangements, and when they came back it was set for us to meet the company at noon at the top of a trail. They had promised to bring the ATVs—all nine of them—by trailer for us.
Madison, Lilly, and I invaded the kitchen at the insistence of Anna. We made sandwiches and cut up some fruit, while Anna brought out cookies, chips, soda, and water bottles for everyone. Even Frank pitched in, providing us with three small ice chests and helping us pack everything. He and Anna assured us that the chests would fit perfectly on the back of the ATVs.
They were right. I guess the rental company was used to picnics, because they had also provided us with bungee cords to secure the ice chests onto the small platforms attached to the back of the vehicles. Carson, Ethan, and Collin had each volunteered to carry a chest on their machines, and they secured them while the girls got fitted for helmets.
I didn’t want to think of how many other heads and faces had been in my helmet before me. It was a bit heavy and awkward at first, not to mention stuffy, but I soon got used to it. Actually it was the roar of the ATV under me that really took my focus off the helmet. One of the workers gave me a quick lesson on how to and use the throttle and brake, how to sit properly, and how to turn. I think he could tell I was a little apprehensive, because he got on behind me and leaned around to show me again how everything worked.
Through his guidance I was able to move slowly forward. He rotated the handlebars so the vehicle turned, and I was able to break free of the group without hitting any of them. After a few more starts and stops, the worker must’ve thought I was secure enough to drive on my own, and he brought me back to my friends.
As we approached, I noticed Gregory staring at us. We stopped not far from him and he continued to stare—more like glare—at the worker as he got off the ATV and complimented me. I unlatched my helmet, pulled it off, and smiled up at the guy so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with Gregory’s unusual manners. “Thanks, I had a great teacher,” I said.
I wondered briefly if I had something in my teeth, because all at once the guy paused and gazed at my smile. I was just about ready to cover my mouth with my hand when he raised his eyes to look into mine. Oh my gosh. He’s checking me out! Holy cow. What is with Moab? Is there something in the water? I flushed and giggled, then glanced away—Oops! Right into Gregory’s eyes.
He was not happy.
One of the workers called the guy over. I looked back to catch his nod and wave as he took a couple of steps backward and then jogged over to the truck he had driven. Gregory started his ATV and moved it up next to mine.
“What was that all about?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. He was helping me with my machine.”
“He looked like he was enjoying it way too much.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. What do you care, anyway?”
My flippant reply seemed to check him. Gregory squinted his eyes and looked away for a moment before he brought his gaze back to mine. “You know, I may have to answer that one day. Do me a favor and keep asking, okay?”
“What?” I grinned—I couldn’t help it. Gregory looked so unbelievably hot with those dark eyes smoldering into mine. Flirting wasn’t my strong point; I’d never fully mastered the art. Okay, fully mastered? Who was I kidding? That would imply I had actually practiced doing it. And since I had never done any such thing, I wasn’t exactly prepared for Gregory’s next words. But I had a strong suspicion he was flirting with me.
“Every couple of days, I want you to ask me what it is that makes me care. You got that? One of these times, I’m not going to be able to stop myself and I’ll have to tell you.”
“Oh, really?” I replied archly. Well, as archly as I could under the circumstances.
“You better watch yourself, Amanda Ellis.” He shook his head and grinned at me.
“Why?”
“One day, you’re going to really catch on to that flirtin’ thing, and you’re going to be sorry when you see just how many guys actually think about kissing you. Cuz they’re not going to stop at just thinking.”
I leaned toward him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Gregory covered the distance in a heartbeat. There were maybe six inches between us. “See how close I am to you?”
As I watched flecks of gold dance in his dark brown eyes, my heart galloped. I couldn’t say a word—I just swallowed and nodded.
“If I didn’t know better, I would think by the way you’re still leaning over here that you want to be kissed.”
Yes! Kiss me! My eyes involuntarily lowered to his mouth just inches from mine, and I watched his grin fade.
Instantly my eyes caught his again. They were smoldering like fire.
“Andy? Please move back.”
“Why?”
“I can’t. I need you to, or I’m going to do something you’ll regret.”
Mortified, I jerked away from him. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Without looking at me, Gregory yanked his helmet onto his head, latched
it, and sped over to Kylie.
Well, that is the last time I try flirting. I’ve completely scared the guy away. Slowly, I placed my helmet on my head and fastened the latch. I heard a roar and looked to my right as Collin parked his ATV right next to mine.
“Hi. You nervous?” he called out through his helmet.
I decided to answer honestly. “A little. You?”
He shrugged. “Not so much. I was earlier, but these things are really easy to control.”
I decided to shake off my flirting attempt with Gregory. “Yeah, I think it’ll be fun. So have you written any more lyrics?”
“A couple.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And you’d be proud of me—this time I didn’t delete them.”
“Yes!” I smiled. “I want to be the first person who reads them, too.”
“Well, that’s not hard, since you’re probably the only one who will.”
I rolled my eyes before I caught a glimpse of red zoom past. It was Ethan. He stopped in front of the group and stood up.
“We’re gonna be following a couple of trails I know really well. They’re about eight miles long each. So let’s try and stick together, okay? Also, if anyone notices anything of interest, just come and flag me or Carson down and we’ll all stop. You guys are so going to love this! Is everybody set?”
We revved our engines in response.
“Then let’s go!”
We all watched Ethan zoom away down the jagged, dusty red trail.
Then Carson hollered out, “Wahoo! Let’s go!”
All at once the group came to life. We gunned our engines and laughed as we took off. By the time I got underway, I was close to the rear with Collin and Lilly, but we had fun. There were a few bumps that bounced me out of my seat, which scared me at first, but after a while I began to really enjoy the sensation. I even got brave enough to try to do it again over the extra-bumpy sections.
To watch Ethan and Carson was like watching true professionals. It was amazing to see all the tricks they could do. Ethan spent most of the first trail standing up as he counterbalanced his weight against the ATV when it bounced all over the place.
After a while, Collin and I came into a large, sandy clearing. The others were all there waiting for us. It looked like Carson was teaching Gregory how to do donuts—those really cool circles in the sand. We moved out of the way and watched a moment as Gregory drove off and then came back. He picked up as much speed as he could before he yanked his handlebars to the left and flung his back tires all the way around in a circle, kicking up a cloud of red dust. It was really cool.
Ethan laughed and yelled through his helmet, “Watch this!” and was gone. He left on the same track Gregory had disappeared just seconds before, and just as quickly he returned. He revved his engine and sped to precisely the same spot Gregory had. When he yanked his handlebars to the left, he stood up and we watched as his back tires went up with him. It was like he had popped a wheelie but in reverse. His rear tires did a whole 360 in the air. Ethan landed the ATV with a jolt and let out a whoop.
I realized we would be there a while when Gregory and Collin both decided to try to do what Ethan had just done. After watching six or seven donut attempts, I drove over to where Kylie was, parked next to her, and removed my helmet.
“Hey, girl. How’s it going?”
She was all smiles. “Good. Four-wheeling is awesome, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It’s really fun. More than I expected.”
“Ooh! Look, there’s Gregory again. Dang—he is so good-looking.”
“Yeah, he’s cute.”
She turned and glared at me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I was shaken by her unexpected anger. “Uh—”
She pointed her finger right at me. “Look, I don’t know what game you’re playing at, but Gregory is mine, you got that?”
Oh my gosh. She thinks I’m trying to steal him. “Kylie, I—”
“Give me a break, Amanda. You really don’t think he likes you, do you?”
“No.”
“Good. Because he doesn’t. He just talks to you because he feels sorry for you—like we all do.”
Ouch. “Where did that come from?” In the thirteen years Kylie and I had been friends, she had never acted like this.
“What? You can’t handle the truth?” she asked.
“Well, I’ve got to say that it’s a little hard to take, yeah, especially coming from you.” I couldn’t believe I was still sitting there, actually.
Kylie let out a huge sigh and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she said, “Look, I’m sorry. I’m not myself right now, okay?” She turned away from me and glanced out at the guys again.
I decided to give her an undeserved “olive branch.” “You want to talk about it?”
“No, not really.”
I watched her profile for a moment before I asked, “Do you love him?”
It was Kylie’s turn to be surprised. She twisted toward me and I saw tears spring to her eyes as she gasped, “Y–yes. Yes, I do.”
I nodded my head. “Do you think he loves you?”
She shrugged and wiped her eyes. “I don’t know. I hope so.” She rubbed her hands on her handlebars. “I’m so jealous of anyone else he talks to, I can’t see straight. Look, Amanda.” She turned back to face me. “I know you would never do anything to come between Gregory and me. I’m sorry.”
“Kylie!” Gregory hollered from across the clearing. “Come on, you’ve got to try this!”
“I think he wants me to do some donuts. Here, will you hold this?” She handed over her helmet, which had been sitting on her lap.
“Aren’t you going to need it?”
“For 360’s? Nah. I used to do these all the time with my cousins in Albuquerque. I’m just as good as Ethan—you’ll see.”
I smiled. “Are you serious?”
She chuckled as she gunned her engine. “Let’s go show those boys how it’s really done!”
“Now this I’ve got to see.” I laughed and waved my hand at the dust that exploded beneath her tires. In a flash Kylie was gone.
I watched her zoom past a surprised Gregory, leaving a trail of dust in her wake. She flew over the hill and just as quickly returned with more speed than any of the guys had. She zipped past Gregory again straight to the spot all the guys had been doing donuts on. With a mighty tug, Kylie jerked her handlebars and stood up. The rear of her ATV whirled around twice in the air before jolting back to the earth. Kylie’s ear-splitting “YEE-HAW!” almost drowned out the guys’ cheers as they jumped off their vehicles and came running toward her.
“That was awesome!” I heard Ethan yell.
“Kylie, you were amazing!” Carson’s shout was just as loud as his brother’s.
But it was the kiss Gregory gave her that stopped my heart. I’m sure it stopped Kylie’s, too. She looked like she was on cloud nine.
“Let me do it again!” I heard her exclaim. “Come on, move out of the way, guys, I’m going to do it again!”
Everyone moved back as Kylie revved the engine and peeled out. Her tires flew over the hill, and soon she soared quickly back again. I wondered briefly if she was going to try for three spins in the air. I wouldn’t doubt it. She sped to the spot but this time passed it to create her own donut in fresh dirt. She jerked her handlebars but failed to notice the rock beneath the tires. In one electrifying moment, we all watched Kylie’s ATV jolt to the left just as it was supposed to, but as she stood, the front tires bounced wildly on the rock, tipping the vehicle off balance. In a flash, the speeding ATV repeatedly rolled—top over bottom—crushing Kylie’s body beneath its weight.
Fourteen: The Day the World Stopped Turning
The world stopped. Everything froze around me as I watched the horrific scene. And then, as if in slow motion, the pieces of my brain began to click together and I realized what had just happened. This was real. I was not on some movie set in California. Kylie had j
ust been seriously injured—or killed—when her ATV rolled over, taking her with it. It had ruthlessly slammed her head into the ground and then rolled over her again before it plummeted to a stop about three feet away.
Gregory was the first to her side. He was the first to move at all. Had it not been for his anguished cry of “She’s dead!”, I don’t think I would’ve come out of my trance-like state. As it was, his agony triggered me into motion.
All at once, I was speeding my ATV over to them, leaving my helmet and Kylie’s in the dust behind me. I heard someone scream as I jumped off the vehicle and ran toward Gregory, who was hunched over Kylie’s twisted body. I vaguely saw Ethan and Carson move forward, but neither of them came up to us.
My brain switched to an amazing clarity as I realized no one else knew what to do. My first-aid training from years ago suddenly came back to me as I quickly scanned Kylie’s mangled form.
And mangled it was. One of her legs was broken, and possibly the other as well. I leaned over and gently placed my fingers into the crook of her neck, feeling for a pulse, while I forced myself to scan her pale features for sign of life. There were none. Her neck had snapped back and there was a large, gaping wound from her forehead to her ear, and another where blood was pooling behind her left collarbone onto the dusty desert floor.
She really is dead! I thought with horror. It was then, just as I was about to make the same declaration Gregory had, that I felt it. The faintest of throbs in her neck.
“She’s alive!” I cried. “She’s alive! She has a pulse!”
Cries and screams and shouts burst out all around me. The noise came so quickly that I began to wonder if it had been there all the while and I had subconsciously blocked the sound so I could concentrate.
“What do I do?”
I had forgotten Gregory was there until his words caused me to look up.
“What can I do? Tell me!”
A thousand instructions and commands whipped through my head. Which to settle on first? “Find something to stop that bleeding. Whatever you do, don’t move her.” I pointed to the pool forming by Gregory’s knees as I searched for something to slow the bleeding from the side of her face. “I need fabric, cloth—something!” I shouted to the group at large.
