by Clay, Verna
"You…you were having a nightmare and I was trying to wake you."
"Dammit, woman, don't you know that sneaking up on a man can get you killed?"
The tone of his voice and the fact that he was talking to her like a child again bristled the hair on her arms and removed any trepidation.
Still lying on the ground, she whispered just as adamantly, "Mr. Jerome, you were moaning like an injured animal and I considered it an act of charitable kindness to wake you. However, if you prefer your nightmares, please step aside and allow me to return to my wagon!" Having had her say, she pushed into a seated position and started to rise. Cooper sat in the dirt and brought his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and placing his forehead on his knees.
In a muffled and contrite voice he said, "My apologies, ma'am. You're right about me having a nightmare and no, I don't like having them. Thank you for trying to help. I learned my reflexes in the army. Sometimes reflexes were all that stood between me and death."
The sadness in Cooper's voice removed any hostility Hallie was feeling and she lowered herself back to the ground. "Were you dreaming about the war?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Inhaling a long, slow breath, Hallie reached her hand toward one of his and touched her finger to it. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She moved her hand until she could hold his, not expecting him to return her grasp. When he did, she almost moved her other hand to stroke his hair. Because such an act would be too foreword, she forced her hand to stay at her side and waited for whatever would happen next.
After a lengthy silence, Cooper turned his head so that his cheek rested on his knees and spoke quietly. "I killed my fair share of men in the war. Course it was either kill or be killed, but that still don't stop the dreams. I think about the families of those men, some so young as to almost still be boys, and I want to throw my guts up knowing the heartache I've caused some mother and father."
Hallie squeezed her eyes at the pain in Cooper's voice. Disregarding her previous restraint, she lifted her free hand to his black hair, now free of its leather restraint and falling forward, and combed her fingers through its silky, charcoal thickness. She wanted to caress his cheek. Instead, she said, "Someday you'll come to terms with what happened, but until then, I want you to know that I consider you to be a good and just man. I know that you would not frivolously take the life of another. And the fact that you have nightmares about it only proves the goodness of your heart." She felt Cooper tighten his hold on her hand and she continued. "If the tables were turned and you were the dead soldier, what would you say to the man who had taken your life? Would you hold it against him for fighting in a battle and killing you?"
For a long time, they sat facing each other with their hands locked and Hallie stroking Cooper's hair. Finally, he let go of her hand and lifted his head. "Goodnight, Hallie." In the moonlight the planes of his face appeared hewn from stone.
Hallie removed her hand from his hair and whispered, "Goodnight, Cooper."
Chapter 16: Narrow Escape at The Narrows
A few days after Cooper's nightmare, the emigrants reached an area called The Narrows. With a bluff on one side and the Little Blue River on the other, the wagons had to travel single file. Cooper said they were almost two hundred and fifty miles out of Westport. The fact that they had only traversed an eighth of their journey boggled Hallie's mind. She already felt as if she were thousands of miles from Jebson.
Since the night she attempted to comfort Cooper after his nightmare, he had been cordial and always seemed to find chores keeping him on the outskirts of their wagon when they camped. Hallie worried that she had been too forward in touching him. The thought that perhaps he wasn't thinking well of her any longer, saddened her.
Turning her attention back to their narrow path, she shrieked, "Tim, stop! Don't move an inch!"
Tim halted and looked questioningly up at his mother.
Gingerly, she said, "There's a rattlesnake right in front of us."
Tim's eyes widened and his mouth formed an "O."
The sudden crack of gunfire startled them both and Hallie screamed. Cooper holstered his gun. "Sorry to scare you, but I wasn't taking any chances."
The sound of the shot brought people running to their wagon, even Stubby and Harley, but when Cooper glanced up and saw them, his scowl sent them backtracking fast.
Captain Jones galloped up. "Yep. I thought the problem was a snake. Like I explained last night, this place is famous for them."
To Hallie's horror, Captain Jones dismounted and scooped the snake up by its tail. "This is going to make a fine dinner; some of the best meat around is rattlesnake. Mind if I share it with ya'll?"
Cooper looked at Hallie and grinned. "Ah, Captain, you go ahead and enjoy it. I think we'll pass."
Captain Jones shrugged. "Okay, but you don't know what you're missin'. After I eat the meat, the skin is goin' to make a fine band for my hat and the rattle's a dandy decoration."
After the captain trotted away on Midnight, Hallie shuddered and Cooper laughed. Tim, always curious, asked, "Ma, do you think I could taste some of that rattlesnake meat after Captain Jones gets it cooked?"
Hallie stared at her son with incredulity. "No."
That night, after passing through The Narrows, and some of the other emigrants also having close calls with rattlers, Captain Jones approached their wagon on foot. He said, "I was feelin' right guilty 'bout takin' yer snake, so I brought the skin and rattles back for Tim. They'll be souvenirs from his travels." He stuck out the hand that had been hidden behind his back and dangled the snakeskin toward Tim. The rattles rested in his palm.
Tim jumped up. "Wow! That's great!" He looked at his mother with pleading eyes. "Can I have them? Please, Ma."
Hallie glanced at Cooper and could almost hear his thought. The boy's havin' to grow up fast. Don't deny him.
Hallie nodded. "Sure, Tim. They'll be great reminders of our journey; one we'll talk about on cold winters before a fire."
As if the snakeskin and rattles were precious jewels, Tim accepted them from Captain Jones.
The captain said, "Now the skin still needs to dry, so find a place to hang it."
"Yes, sir. I got just the place."
* * *
Cooper grinned thinking about Hallie’s shocked expression when Captain Jones brought the snakeskin to their camp earlier. He was proud of her allowing Tim to keep it, although she loathed the thing. For all of her motherly instincts, he could see she was trying to let her son mature.
Taking another drag of his rolled cigarette, he inhaled and closed his eyes, envisioning Hallie beside the river with her hair hanging loose and her gown slipped.
"Good evening, Mr. Jerome," said a throaty voice.
Cooper opened his eyes to see one of the fancy ladies approaching. It was the redhead; the one who was a real looker; the one who turned men's heads and ignited resentment in their wives.
"Good evening—Miz Wickens, isn't it?"
"Yes, but please call me Clarissa."
"It's nice to make your acquaintance."
"Likewise, sir."
Clarissa straightened her shoulders, which pushed the large swell of her bosom forward. But rather than entice Cooper, it amused him. The girl was probably barely out of her teens. She stepped closer and lifted a hand to finger his collar. "Me and the other gals have had our eyes on you."
He smiled and played her game. "Is that right?"
"Yep. That's right. In fact, we had a fight about which one of us could approach you first." She lifted the finger on his collar to the stubble on his face. "But they finally let me 'cause I'm the youngest."
Cooper repeated, "Is that right?"
"Yep. So…how do you think I should be rewarded?"
To say Cooper wasn't having fun would be a lie—he hadn't flirted in a long time—so he kept the conversation going. "How do you want to be rewarded?"
Clarissa pouted, pursed her lips, and finally suc
ked her bottom lip into her mouth. "Maybe we could start with a kiss."
Before Cooper knew what she was about, her mouth was jammed against his and he couldn't decide whether to give in to the kiss or push her away. Just when he'd decided to push her away, a rustling distracted them. Placing his hands on Clarissa shoulders and setting her backward, he looked past her to see Hallie with her mouth agape.
Oh, hell!
Clarissa turned to see Hallie and laughed, "It's okay Cooper; Hallie's already given her permission."
"Huh?"
"We wanted to make sure Hallie didn't have dibs on you, so we asked, and she said she didn't."
Confused, Cooper stared at Hallie, who made a choking sound, whirled, and fled back in the direction of her wagon.
Clarissa asked, "Did I say something wrong? Is there something between you two?"
"No. Nothing."
The strumpet grinned and giggled. "Great. Do you want to find some place private to get acquainted?"
Cooper watched Hallie's retreating back. "Um, I'm kind of tired; maybe another time." Before Clarissa could respond, he stomped back to camp.
* * *
Hallie couldn't inhale enough air and her heart beat so fast she was sure she wouldn't make it back to her wagon without fainting. She’d only fainted once, giving birth to Tim when the pain had become unbearable. Other than that, she'd endured the death of loved ones and physical work to the point of collapse, and never fainted. But seeing Cooper with the beautiful Clarissa affected her more than she could have imagined possible.
Hastening her steps, she finally reached her wagon and lifted the flap, wanting to thank the stars that Tim was asleep. Slipping into her wagon, she berated herself for being captured by the beauty of the moon and walking farther from camp than she intended. She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her head on her knees.
Breathe slow…breathe slow.
She just got her breathing under control when Cooper's voice called softly outside her wagon. "Hallie. Can I have a minute of your time?"
Her heart slammed her ribs in a rapid staccato and her breathing became little pants.
"Hallie?" he repeated.
Clearing her throat, she said. "I-I'm already in bed. Maybe we could talk later."
There was a pause before Cooper responded, "No. ma'am, it can't wait until later. I'll wait for you by the oxen."
Before she could refuse, she heard Cooper's retreating footsteps.
Damn. Shocked at herself for thinking a curse word, when she had always prided herself for avoiding the use of vulgarity, she inhaled a gulp of air and slowly edged toward the canvas flap. Inhaling once more, she lowered herself to the ground and walked toward the animals.
Face it; you're afraid Cooper is attracted to Clarissa. Hallie answered her own thought. Well, his attraction is obvious. He was kissing her. Hallie's mind kept up its conversation. But why should you care? As long as he does his job and gets you and Tim to Oregon, what he does on his own time is his business. She saw his dark figure and gulped. Then why does it hurt so bad?
Cooper advanced toward her and she stopped, waiting for his approach. Hopefully, there was no one close enough to hear their conversation. He halted inches from her and came right to the point. "What you saw wasn't what it appeared to be."
Hallie's voice sounded breathless when she responded, "You don't have to explain–"
"Yes, I do. I am not the kind of man who chases fancy women while traveling on a wagon train. The woman…well…she initiated the kiss and I was just about to stop it when you saw us."
Relief flooded Hallie, which made her angry at herself. She was newly widowed; she shouldn't care about Cooper's romantic encounters. She didn't know how to respond, so she said, "Thank you for making that clear. Good night, Cooper." She started to turn away.
"Not so fast, Hallie."
Pausing, she felt herself trembling at the deepness of his voice. Lifting her gaze to his, with the moonlight turning the color and intensity of his eyes to that of a churning sea, she waited for the question she knew was coming.
"What did Clarissa mean when she said you gave the gals permission?"
Lowering her lashes, Hallie wished the ground would open and swallow her up. "Ah … well … she … they … wanted to know if you and I … ah … you know … because they thought you … ah … were handsome … and didn't want ..." She lifted her hand to finger a tear. She sounded like a brainless idiot.
Quietly, Cooper said, "You don't have to say any more. I get the picture. But just so you understand, I'm not interested in pleasuring myself with any of them. Go back to bed, Hallie."
* * *
Cooper watched Hallie's swiftly retreating back and ground his jaw. The only one he wanted to pleasure himself with was her. Damn!
Chapter 17: The Lone Tree
The pioneers now traveled through rolling hills covered with grasses and nary a tree in sight. Beyond the hills, far in the distance, steep mountains rose in majestic beauty. To avoid the ruts of wagons gone before them, as well as the ruts of their own wagons, the prairie schooners traveled several abreast, like a small herd of animals migrating westward following their lead beast, Captain Jones. Hallie chuckled at the vision in her mind.
As if conjuring Captain Jones up, he cantered Midnight to their wagon. "Howdy, Cooper, Miz Wells, Tim."
"Good morning, Captain. It's a beautiful day," Hallie responded.
"That it is. I always enjoy this part of the journey. The travelin's easy and the scenery spectacular."
Cooper said, "We should reach Fort Kearney in a couple of days. Don't you think?"
"Yep. Once we get there, we'll regroup, check supplies, and then head out after a day or so." Captain Jones glanced at Tim. "I'm gonna ride around the train; check things out. Would you like to hop on the back of Midnight and come along? Two eyes are better 'n one."
Tim shouted, "That'd be great!"
Captain Jones looked slightly embarrassed. "Er, I guess I should'a asked yer ma if it was okay first."
Tim turned pleading eyes on his mother. Hallie laughed. "It's perfectly fine. Tim was getting bored anyway."
Tim grinned as Captain Jones reached down to haul him up behind him. Before he nudged his horse away, the captain scowled and pointed in the distance. His voice sounded both sad and angry. "There used to be a lone tree over that-a-way. It was a trail marker we even called The Lone Tree. Just imagine, in this vast grassland, that single tree withstood the elements for probably hundreds of years…but it sure couldn't withstand man. It was like a sentinel suddenly chopped down; literally." He shook his head. "It happened back in the late forties." He shook his head again. "The insensitivity of people boggles the mind."
After the captain and Tim galloped away, Hallie tried to concentrate on the beauty around her, but her gaze kept being drawn to Cooper's broad back. Since finding him with Clarissa and his subsequent explanation of the kiss she'd seen, and then her own admission of Clarissa's visit to ask permission to pursue him, she had avoided him. Having Tim around had helped in that endeavor. Now it was just the two of them walking the grassland with the closest wagon shouting distance away.
Hallie wished things could go back to the way they were in Westport when they had talked about supplies and concentrated on preparing for the journey. She focused on distant mountain peaks for a short time before returning her gaze to Cooper. He moved with an easy grace, but was as rugged as the terrain they trod upon. And, like the mountains ahead of them, there was much to be discovered. God help her, she wanted to know his secrets. She wanted to know what caused the sadness in his eyes. Was it more than just the war? Thomas, her beloved husband, had always been an open book. He had spoken freely of his feelings, dreams, aspirations, and he'd encouraged her to speak freely of hers. Their relationship had always been an easy one. He never tied her stomach in knots or made her wax hot and cold just by being in his presence.
Hallie's thoughts took an unexpected turn. Because she had never be
en with any man—in the biblical sense—besides Thomas, she figured their intimate life was typical of every other married couple. It seemed … adequate. Thomas never forced himself on her and if she declined his amorous advances, he never pursued her. Since he never demanded, she often went along with his desire just to please him. All-in-all, their bedroom activities had been—the same word came to Hallie's mind … adequate.
Hallie had a feeling that nothing with Cooper would ever be just adequate. Even now, watching him, her heart hammered and her breathing quickened.
"Hallie, are you going to stare a hole in my back? Or is there something you want to say?" Cooper called without turning around.
She inhaled sharply. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Cooper chuckled. "Okay, have it your way."
After several minutes, she said, "Well, I do have a question." She hastened to add, "but you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
Typical of Cooper, he answered, "Shoot."
In spite of her nervousness, Hallie smiled. "I know that you were a soldier in the war, but what did you do before that?"
Cooper was quiet for so long she was about to apologize for overstepping her bounds, when he answered, "I worked for large ranches driving longhorns to market. Mostly the drives were along the Shawnee Trail from Texas to Missouri."
Hallie chanced another question? "Were you born in either of those states?"
"Yes—West Texas."
"Do you miss being there?"
"Sometimes."
Thus far their discussion went on without Cooper turning around.
Hallie didn't know what possessed her but she suddenly blurted, "Have you ever been married?"
Cooper paused, continued walking, but still didn't turn around. "Why do you want to know?"
Hallie couldn't believe she'd been so brazen and wanted to crawl under a rock, but there were no rocks in sight. Instead of apologizing, however, sudden indignation came to her rescue.
"I'm just making conversation. Usually, when people are around each other day after day they converse. It's a simple question, but I see that I've offended you, so I withdraw the question. Instead, I'll ask another one. What genus of grass to you suppose it is that we're walking on?"
