She knew what sharing a bed with Cooper would mean. Could it really be as horrible as Sally had described? She couldn’t imagine Cooper hurting her or doing the things to her Sally had mentioned.
Josie did want children of her own one day. She’d always enjoying taking care of the babies and young children in the orphanage, and already she’d come to love Andy. She couldn’t imagine loving her own children more, but she’d heard that there was no other love like it.
She wanted to experience that for herself, and there was only one way to do it. She’d have to allow Cooper to kiss her, and touch her, and … whatever else he chose to do.
What would his lips feel like against hers? What would his hands feel like on her body? The questions rolled around in her mind, and at the same time, a strange warmth built inside her. A sense of anticipation washed over her and she realized that the thought of being with Cooper wasn’t entirely unpleasant. No, she decided, Cooper would never treat her the way men treated Sally. She was sure of it.
She was still thinking about him when she dozed off to sleep.
It seemed to be only moments later when the raucous crowing of the rooster woke her.
Josie stared at the ceiling as the first rays of morning filtered through a gap in the heavy curtains on the window. Her stomach twisted, her throat was dry, and her heart felt as if it was going to explode.
She threw off the thin coverlet, the floor cold under her feet. She padded across the room to the window and gazed outside. It had rained the night before, but now, the sun slowly rose on the horizon, casting a pinkish-gold glow on the fields. She smiled. It looked as if the sun was going to shine for her wedding.
Her wedding!
Chapter 5
Andy licked a dollop of jam off his finger. “You getting married too, Papa?”
Drew and Cooper exchanged glances. “No,” Drew answered.
“Why not?”
Cooper drained his coffee and leaned back in his chair, wondering how Drew was going to answer his son’s question. “Because I don’t have a lady to marry.”
“Why not?”
“Because …”
“Do we got to go to church soon?”
Cooper saw Drew’s sigh of relief when Andy’s questions strayed from his father’s marriage plans, and grinned.
“We do. Now if you’re finished your breakfast, go upstairs and get dressed.”
“You got to help me.”
“I’ll be up in a minute,” Drew said.
Andy climbed down and raced out of the room.
“The boy has a good point,” Cooper commented once he could hear Andy’s footsteps on the floor above his head. “You should be getting married instead of me.”
Drew stirred the strong black brew in his mug. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate what you’re doing for me and Andy,” he said. “I do. And you’re right. I should be getting married again so that Andy has a ma. It wasn’t your responsibility to make sure there was a woman here to take care of him.”
“So why am I the one marrying Josie and not you? She doesn’t care who she marries.” Even as he said the words, a knot formed in his stomach and his lungs seemed to refuse to expand enough for him to take a deep breath.
He’d told the truth. She’d come to Montana to marry a stranger, so it wouldn’t have mattered to her whether she married him or Drew.
But it mattered to him. He didn’t know why, but the thought of her being with another man … letting another man bed her …
“You okay?” Drew’s voice held concern. “What’s the matter? Getting cold feet?”
Cooper looked at his brother and shook his head. “No. Just wanting to get it over with, that’s all.”
Drew stood, picked up his coffee mug and dropped it into the basin of soapy water. Turning to Cooper, he held out his hand. “I hope you’ll be as happy as Leta and I were,” he said, his voice breaking.
Cooper nodded. “I’ll do my best, and I hope one day you’ll find another woman you love as much as you loved her.”
The aroma of coffee brewing filled Josie’s nose as she entered the kitchen. Nora was sitting at the kitchen table, the needle in her hand furiously stitching the mound of cream fabric in front of her.
“What are you doing?” Josie asked.
“Finishing my wedding dress,” Nora answered. “I forgot to sew on the lace trim along the hem.”
Josie grazed the fabric with the tips of her fingers. It was so soft … so luxurious … “It’s lovely,” she said softly. She’d likely never have a dress like that, she thought. Not that it would be practical even if she could afford it. Still, she was sure it would feel wonderful against her skin, and it would be nice to buy something just once because she wanted it rather than needed it.
She crossed to the shelf above the dry sink and took down two mugs. “Coffee?” she called over her shoulder.
“Yes, please,” Nora replied, “but leave it there. My hands are so shaky I don’t want to risk spilling it.”
Josie poured the coffee and took a sip. “You’ll be beautiful,” she commented, her eyes following Nora’s movements.
“I hope Lewis thinks so.”
Josie smiled. She’d seen the way Lewis looked at Nora, as if she was the sun, the moon and the stars all rolled into one. “He will.”
Nora slid the thread between her teeth and broke it, then stabbed the needle into the bobbin. “There. Done.” She bounded up and scooped the dress up in her arms. “I’ll just go and hang this up and be right back. We’d better have some breakfast before we leave for the church.”
While Nora was upstairs, Josie sliced a few pieces of bacon and put them in the skillet on the stove. She was cracking eggs into a bowl when Nora got back.
“It just occurred to me, I didn’t see your wedding dress when we moved your things into Cooper’s room last night,” she commented, taking a loaf of bread out of the breadbox.
“I … I don’t really have one,” she murmured. She’d worn the best dress she owned the day she arrived in Coldwater Creek. It was hardly suitable for a wedding, but she had no other choice. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not as if Cooper and I are marrying for love.”
“Of course it matters. You need a pretty dress to get married in—” Suddenly, she clapped her hand over her mouth and her cheeks flushed. “Oh, I’m so sorry … I didn’t mean you won’t be pretty … you will …”
Josie smiled. She understood what Nora had been trying to say. And she was right. It wasn’t a wedding dress. “No need to apologize. You’re right. It isn’t the kind of dress I imagined wearing to my wedding.”
Nora wrapped a towel around her hand and lifted the skillet off the stove, then grabbed Josie’s hands. “Come with me.”
Josie had no choice but to let Nora drag her by the hand through the parlor and up the stairs to Nora’s bedroom.
Nora opened the wardrobe and drew out a hanger holding a kingfisher-blue gown with a scooped neckline and puffed sleeves, the whole dress dotted with white flowers. The hem of the skirt was scalloped with white ribbons and showed a white frilly under-petticoat. “It’s not really a wedding gown,” she said, “but with your coloring, I know you’ll look beautiful in it.”
Nora handed the gown to Josie. Josie didn’t know what kind of fabric it was, but it was expensive, she was sure. She’d never even held such an exquisite gown. “Oh, I couldn’t …”
“Of course you can,” Nora insisted. “It’ll be perfect. In fact, I might not want to get married beside you. You’re going to outshine me by a mile.”
Josie wasn’t used to compliments, and she found herself blushing under Nora’s scrutiny.
“Now let’s go and get breakfast,” Nora said. “We still have to pick some flowers to carry and get dressed. We don’t want to be late getting to the church.”
Two hours later, Josie stood in front of the mirror in Nora’s bedroom. She was stunned by her reflection. The dress hugged her curves as if it had been made especially for her. Nora had styled h
er hair, piling it on her head with a few strands left loose to frame her face.
Nora stood back and clasped her hands. “Oh, my goodness, Cooper might not love you now, but one look at you in that gown and he’ll be head over heels.”
Josie’s eyes misted. Nora was right. Even though it was arrogant to think that way about herself, she had to admit she’d never looked or felt more beautiful.
Would Cooper think so? She suddenly realized his reaction was important to her, although she couldn’t say why.
Cooper stood at one side of the altar in the front of the church. He hooked his index finger into the collar of his Sunday shirt and tugged, trying to loosen it. Right now, it felt as tight as a hangman’s noose. Drew stood beside him, while Andy sat in the front pew beside the preacher’s sister.
On the other side of the altar, Lewis and his brother waited for Nora.
The doors at the back of the church opened, and Josie and Nora walked in.
Cooper’s breath caught in his throat. While his chest tightened at the thought that his sister would now belong to another man, a strange sensation washed over him when his gaze rested on Josie and she raised her eyes to meet his. The world seemed to fade until Josie filled his vision.
Drew nudged him and whispered something in his ear before he walked down the aisle to meet the two women. He stood between them and smiled at Josie, leaning closer to say something to her. She nodded, and while Cooper looked on, he tucked Josie’s hand into one of his elbows and Nora’s into the other.
Cooper’s breath stuck in his throat. Josie seemed to float toward him and take his outstretched hand.
A few minutes later, the preacher began to speak. Cooper couldn’t do anything but stare at Josie standing beside him. He must have answered the preacher’s questions, but he couldn’t remember one word when it was over and they were pronounced husband and wife.
“Are you going to kiss your bride or not?” the preacher asked. Startled, he looked at the preacher, who was grinning. “Nora and Lewis have already sealed their vows with a kiss. Everybody’s waiting for you.”
“Oh … uh … right …”
Josie was looking up at him, her face flushed. Was she embarrassed? Did she think he didn’t want to kiss her? Hell, he’d thought of little else for the past few days. Now, he had to concentrate on not kissing her the way he’d dreamed of when he finally managed to sleep at night.
He glanced around at the full church, their faces smiling, waiting for him to kiss Josie. He should give them a show and kiss her soundly, he thought, but one look at the expression on her face changed his mind. She looked as if she was facing a firing squad.
Was the woman who’d traveled hundreds of miles to marry a stranger scared of a little kiss?
He wasn’t sure, but just in case, he slowly lowered his head toward hers. Her lilac scent wafted toward him as he barely brushed her lips with his. Fire swept through him and it took every ounce of self-control he could muster to stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and never letting her go.
He heard her suck in a breath as he pulled away to a round of applause.
And it was over. He was now a married man, whether he liked it or not.
The wedding feast was in full swing. Josie had been introduced to what seemed like every person in town. She’d never remember any of their names, and she hoped she wouldn’t be expected to, at least for a few years. It would likely take that long.
Josie sat at a table near the back corner of the wooden building that housed the school and the town meeting hall. A full plate of food prepared by the ladies in town sat on the table in front of her, but her stomach wouldn’t allow her to even try to eat anything.
Cooper was standing with a group of men near a table holding several jugs of lemonade and a bowl of punch. She watched him, still shocked that they were truly married. Wearing the suit she assumed he wore to church on Sundays, the snowy-white shirt contrasted against his tanned skin. He’d slicked down his black hair for the wedding, but the cowlick she’d noticed whenever he took off his hat wouldn’t be tamed. Nora always teased him about it. Josie thought it was adorable.
As she looked on, Lewis joined the group of men. A second or two later, Nora dropped into the chair beside her. “Lewis and I are going to leave now,” she said.
Josie smiled at her new sister-in-law. “I expect Cooper will want to get back to the ranch soon, too.”
Nora reached over and took Josie’s hand. “I want to tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve done for me,” she began. “I should never have done what I did and I only hope you and Cooper can find some happiness together.”
“I hope so, too,” Josie said quietly. She gave Nora a tiny smile. “I truly believe life turns out the way it’s meant to, so the way I got here might not have been ideal, but I believe I was meant to come here. Time will tell me why.”
She glanced up and saw Lewis crossing the room toward the table. “Your husband is looking for you. I wish you nothing but the best.”
The two women got up and hugged each other, and then Lewis led Nora away.
Josie had barely sat back down when Cooper approached. “We should be getting back to the ranch, too,” he said. “It’s getting late.”
Josie got back to her feet and nodded. “Will Drew and Andy be coming with us?”
“No. They’re going to stay for a while. Drew offered to take care of the chores tonight so we can have some time alone.”
Josie’s throat tightened and her heart skipped a beat. She’d assumed Drew and Andy would spend the evening with them as they often did.
Instead, she’d be alone with Cooper.
Totally, completely alone!
The house was so quiet! Cooper was in the barn and Josie was alone. She’d never been alone in the house before. Actually, she couldn’t remember really being alone … ever, other than the few minutes every day when she took care of personal needs.
In the orphanage, there were always so many people around, and even on her journey to Colorado, she was surrounded by other travelers.
Something else she’d have to get used to.
She didn’t have time to think about it now though, she mused. She’d have to be quick if she expected to get all her things back into Nora’s room before Cooper came back in.
Taking off the delicate shawl she’d borrowed from Nora, she folded it and hurried up the stairs to put it on the bureau in Nora’s room. She chuckled to herself. For once, she was glad she didn’t own much. It wouldn’t take too long to move everything back.
She was half done when she turned from the wardrobe to find Cooper standing in the doorway. She’d heard the front door close but she hadn’t heard his footsteps on the stairs. She’d hoped she’d be finished before he came up.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his gaze settling on the pile of clothes in her arms.
Her cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“Nora thought we should … that is, I should—”
“Move in?” He smiled.
“Yes,” she said. “I disagreed, but when your sister gets a notion in her head …”
He laughed then, the deep sound filling the room. “You don’t have to tell me about Nora.”
“Of course. I’m sorry,” she said.
“Where were you going with the clothes?”
“I was taking them back to Nora’s room.”
“Why?”
She didn’t answer for a few seconds, searching for the right words. She might as well be honest and clear the air, she decided. Raising her head, she met his gaze squarely. “I’m sure you’d rather have your room to yourself, and since Nora’s room is empty now, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t sleep there.”
“There is one reason,” he said quietly.
He didn’t have to say the words. Josie knew exactly what he was referring to. Her heartbeat skittered in her chest and her body flooded with warmth.
His kiss after the preacher pronounced them husban
d and wife, brief that it was, had rocked her to her core. Never in her life had she been so aware of every nerve ending in her body, every sensation.
She’d wanted the kiss to go on forever. And she’d wanted more than a kiss. She’d wanted his arms around her, wanted to feel his touch.
That desire had blended with guilt that she was having such impure thoughts in God’s house.
She felt the same way now, minus the guilt. She smiled as he took a step toward her. “Do you want me to stay?”
“I wouldn’t mind,” he replied. “Do you want to stay?”
Her breathing grew shallow, and her entire body began to tremble. Whether from fear or excitement, she couldn’t say, and if she was being honest, she didn’t really care. “I wouldn’t mind.”
His eyes darkened and his voice deepened. “You know what I’m asking?”
She did know, but she didn’t answer immediately. She had no experience with men at all other than the delivery man who used to wink at her when he brought fresh vegetables into the kitchen at the orphanage.
How could she possibly please a man like Cooper? She couldn’t, and he’d be sorry he’d married her, and they’d start their life together with him resenting her.
He moved away. “I understand.”
So many thoughts had gone through her mind that she’d taken too long to respond and now he thought she didn’t want a real marriage.
She reached out and wrapped her fingers around his muscled forearm. “No,” she said, it’s not that. I do know what you’re asking,” she said. “I know what happens, sort of, and that it’s horrible for a woman—”
“Who told you it’s horrible?” he asked.
“Sally didn’t say that exactly, but how can it be anything but horrible?”
He laughed then, and Josie felt her ire stirring. “There’s no reason to laugh at me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Trust me, Josie, it’s not horrible. Not with the right person. Your friend … what she does is different … between two people who care about each other, it’s … good. Very good.”
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