by Mary Nichols
‘I didn’t mean it was bad.’ He walked round the seat and sat beside her. ‘Here, let me show you.’
She looked apprehensively at Miss Bannister as he took the pencil from her trembling fingers. The old lady gave no indication she had seen or heard the newcomer. ‘We must not wake your duenna.’ It was said in a whisper.
‘No, she is quite old and tires very easily.’ More whispering. She felt like a mischievous child, glorying in doing something forbidden. It would not have been the least bit necessary if Rosemary had not taken against his lordship, she excused herself, they could have met openly. But, oh, the need for secrecy was fun.
He moved closer, so that he was very near indeed, his grey trousers brushing against the folds of her skirt and his warm breath on her cheek. ‘Now, you do this. And this.’ The pencil skimmed over the page. ‘Think of the muscles in the horse’s neck, how strong they are, how they support the head and how they are attached to the shoulders.’
‘Oh, I see what you mean. It is perfect now. Is it the same for drawing people?’
‘Of course. It is the bones and muscles that govern the shape of everyone.’
‘Fat, too, or lack of it?’
‘Yes, but that you can add that afterwards, along with the clothes, when you have the underlying structure right.’
She smiled mischievously. ‘You mean I should imagine everyone naked?’
He laughed aloud and then stifled it when he heard Miss Bannister stir. ‘If you like.’
‘I do not think I could do that. It would be most improper and Rosemary has been lecturing me on being proper. I am, according to my sister, a very improper young lady. Myles says I must be guided by her, but it is so difficult, when I want to ask so many questions. It is not polite to quiz people, so I am told.’
He gathered from that statement that she had been scolded over her questioning of him the day before. ‘I do not mind it,’ he said. ‘But I can see that a lively curiosity might lead you into trouble.’
‘You were not offended? My sister said that was why you hurried away from us yesterday.’
‘Did I hurry away?’
‘Oh, yes. We were in the middle of a conversation and you suddenly took your leave. Were you angry?’
‘No, of course not.’ But he had been angry, not with her, but with himself. He had found himself succumbing to her charm, a charm she seemed completely unaware she wielded. Or was she? Ladies could be accomplished deceivers. It was that which had driven him from the room. How could he so soon forget the vows he had made to himself? He was sorry afterwards and afraid he had hurt her feelings, which was why he was here with her now. And it was happening all over again. Would he never learn? ‘I had an appointment.’
‘Then I forgive you.’
He smiled. ‘I am obliged, though I do not remember asking forgiveness.’
She let that go. ‘How is your design for the Exhibition hall coming along?
‘I do not seem able to concentrate on it.’
‘Oh, the lady.’
‘What lady?’ He was genuinely mystified.
‘The lady who is so attractive she is keeping you in town when you ought to be going home.’
‘Oh, that one.’
‘Yes. I am a little jealous of her if she commands so much of your time.’
‘No need to be. I—’ He stopped suddenly as Miss Bannister gave a loud snort and opened her eyes to find her charge apparently in intimate conversation with a strange young man. She had heard Lady Trent scolding Esme—Rosemary never had learned to lower her voice—and it was plain that a young gentleman was involved. No doubt this was he.
‘Miss Bannister, may I present Lord Pendlebury?’ Esme said, knowing perfectly well that she was flattering the old lady by the formal introduction. One simply did not introduce one’s servants to one’s acquaintances. But Banny was more than a servant—she was a friend, a confidante, an ally.
Miss Bannister hastily adjusted her bonnet. ‘How do you do, my lord?’
‘Banny is my dear friend and companion,’ Esme told him.
‘You are indeed fortunate,’ he told Esme while smiling at Banny and quite winning her over, though she knew she had been very remiss in her duty towards her charge.
‘His lordship is an accomplished artist,’ Esme said. ‘He has been showing me how to draw a horse.’
‘So I see.’ She stood up a little shakily and Felix rose to take her elbow to steady her, but let her go the moment she had found her balance. ‘Now I am rested and it is time we returned home. Come, my lady.’ The formal address was for his lordship’s benefit. ‘Good day to you, my lord.’
Esme gathered up her sketching pad and pencils and murmured, ‘Goodbye, my lord’, before following her.
He sat down again, picking up his own sketching book from the seat beside him. He flipped over the top page on which he had outlined his building and worked on the drawing of Esme. If only he could get her to sit for him, he could really make a shot at making the picture come to life, but that would need the permission of the dragon who resided at Trent House and he knew he would never get that.
‘I suppose I am to say nothing to your sister of that young gentleman?’ Miss Bannister said, as they walked.
‘We met by accident, Banny. He saw what I was doing and stopped to help. There was no harm in it. He behaved perfectly properly.’
‘I do not think your sister would agree.’
‘But you won’t say anything, will you? She will only give me a scolding.’
‘Esme, you are nearly twenty years old, a grown woman, and it is time you learned to behave like one. If you want that young gentleman to court you, then you must persuade Lady Trent to accept him, not meet him in secret.’
‘There was nothing secret about the park, Banny. There were hundreds of people there.’
‘That’s what I am afraid of,’ her mentor said repressively.
‘Banny, how shall I know when I am in love? And what is the difference between love and desire? Is there one?’
‘My dear child, you are asking quite the wrong person,’ Miss Bannister said. ‘Your mama should be the one to speak to you of such things and no doubt she will do so when the time is right.’
‘And when will the time be right?’
‘Why, when you have become betrothed, a day or two before your wedding day.’
‘It will be too late then. Banny, I do not want to make a dreadful mistake.’
‘You won’t make a mistake, Miss Esme, you are too level-headed for that.’
‘I am not, I am feeling all topsy-turvy, very far from level-headed. How will I know if I have met my match? And what if he is not at all acceptable to Rosemary? She is determined to find me someone she calls suitable. I have a dreadful feeling that her idea of suitable and mine are not the same thing at all, and Mama and Papa are bound to be guided by her.’
‘Your sister can be a little dogmatic, I own,’ the old lady said. ‘But she is only thinking of your good.’ She paused and laid her gloved hand over Esme’s. ‘I fancy these questions have been sparked by that particular young man, is that not so?’
‘Is it so obvious?’
‘I am not blind, child, I can see he is having a very powerful effect upon you, but do not be misled into thinking it is love.’
‘You don’t think it is? When he looks at me, my knees wobble and my heart beats so fast I can hardly speak.’
‘Goodness, that sounds alarming.’
‘Have you ever had that feeling, Banny?’
‘Once, but it doesn’t signify.’
‘Why not?’
‘He was most unsuitable and in the face of my papa’s opposition he disappeared. I believe he married a servant girl in the end.’
‘Oh, how sad for you.’
‘No, for I think he went to the bad and I had a lucky escape. So you see, it pays to listen to one’s parents and those who know more of the world. All the glisters are not gold.’
‘Oh, I wish I
had not asked you. You are no help at all.’
‘Because I did not tell you what you wanted to hear.’
Esme did not answer and they walked the rest of the way in silence.
Almost the whole of the following week was taken up with preparations for her presentation at Court. For some reason Esme could not fathom, a feather headdress was a must and as her Majesty disliked small feathers, they had to be large enough to be seen by her when the débutantes entered the room in a long line, one behind the other together with their sponsors. In Esme’s case that would be Rosemary who rehearsed her over and over again until she was reduced to a trembling jelly. ‘Esme, for goodness’ sake, Mama taught us all to curtsy, do you have to look so clumsy? If you fall over, I shall die of embarrassment.’
The evening arrived at last and she set off with Rosemary to make her début into society, resplendent in a dress of pure white silk and a white gauze veil topped with the mandatory feather headdress, which made her keep her head bowed in the carriage. The journey took only a matter of minutes but there was a long line of vehicles outside St James’s Palace and they had to sit there for over an hour until it was their turn to enter. Others, whose fathers were not so high-ranking as the Earl of Luffenham, had even longer to wait. By the time they were called, Esme was shivering with cold and nerves, especially as no cloaks, capes or shawls were allowed. Once in the palace they waited in line in the gallery until it was their turn to move forward. Esme looked at Rosemary and received a smile of encouragement as she finally entered the throne room.
A couple of attendants helped to arrange her train and she walked slowly and sedately forward, following the girl in front of her, until she found herself standing before her Majesty, who was seated surrounded by standing courtiers. After Rosemary had presented her, she sank down into her curtsy and took the hand that was offered, kissed it, bowed and carefully straightened her knees, quickly righting herself when she began to wobble. The Queen was smiling at her. She dipped her head again and felt behind her for her train. A waiting footman picked it up and laid it over her arm and then indicated the direction she should take. Slowly, step by step, she retreated backwards until she was at the door.
‘Good,’ Rosemary said, taking charge of the train. ‘That’s over. Now, you are out.’
‘Out’ meant she could take her place in society and attend balls and functions and meet that desirable husband. All that expense, all that practising, all those jangling nerves, for the sake of two or three minutes in a crowded room and even less time in the presence of her Majesty.
They were soon outside, a shawl put about her shoulders because it was very late, and on their way back to Trent House. Tomorrow her Season could begin.
Between visits to Rosemary’s friends, tea parties, the odd soirée and a concert or two, Esme amused herself by riding, when she was accompanied by Rosemary, or walking when her companion was more often than not Miss Bannister. On one never-to-be-forgotten day, she and Rosemary were walking home through Hyde Park after a shopping expedition, having dismissed the carriage in Park Lane, when they found themselves being jostled in a crowd of people craning their necks to see something going on in the middle of the park. Esme, ever curious, pushed her way through, with Rosemary reluctantly behind her.
‘Why, it’s a balloon,’ she said as she came to a roped-off enclosure in the middle of which a long colourful mass of silk material was being gradually inflated.
A man with a megaphone was explaining to the crowd how it was being filled with hydrogen gas. ‘The gas is made by the action of sulphuric acid and water on the iron-and-zinc shavings in those casks over there,’ he said, pointing. ‘In passing through the water, the gas is rid of its impurities and is passed through a tube into the neck of the balloon. The gas displaces an equal volume of atmospheric air and, because it is lighter than air, the balloon rises until it reaches a layer of air equal in density to its own and there it remains, floating above the earth with the basket beneath it.’
‘How d’ you get down again?’ someone shouted.
‘We let the gas out a little at a time and admit an equal quantity of atmospheric air. The balloon descends and reaches the ground when all the gas has been expelled.’ As he spoke the balloon rose above them and the basket, which had been lying on its side, righted itself, held beneath the balloon by a network of ropes. Only the tethering ropes held the whole contraption to the ground. The crowd, including Esme, looked upwards as the huge globe, painted in red, blue and yellow, filled up. ‘Now we are ready to ascend,’ he said, standing beside the basket. ‘I can take three passengers. Who will come with me on a voyage of a lifetime?’
There was no immediate response, possibly because the watchers were mostly ladies and a few gentlemen who were out for an afternoon’s stroll, and would not demean themselves by volunteering. One lad walked across the grass and shook hands with the balloonist and clambered into the basket. ‘Any more?’ the man shouted. ‘Come along, the panorama of London at such a height is a wonder to behold. You won’t be carried away. The balloon will be tethered at all times. You will return to this very spot.’
The prospect of such a ride was too much of a temptation for Esme. ‘Oh, Rosie, wouldn’t it be fun? Shall we try it?’ She looked round for her sister, but Rosemary had been swallowed up by the crowd and was some distance away. Undeterred she ducked under the ropes and walked across the grass towards the balloon, unsure if she really would have the courage to step into the basket.
‘Why, here’s a little lady putting you all to shame,’ the balloonist called out, as he bowed to Esme and took her hand. ‘Well, miss, are you game?’ he asked.
She nodded. He opened a little door in the side of the basket and, picking her up, deposited her inside it beside the boy. She looked round her and was met with a sea of faces, all smiling and cheering. Except one. Rosemary had made her way to the front and was looking wildly round her as if appealing to someone, anyone, to fetch her sister back. Esme could not hear what her sister was saying, but she was already beginning to regret her foolhardiness. Pride would not allow her to change her mind, especially when the balloonist began shouting again, ‘Come on, you brave men, you aren’t going to let the little lady show you up, are you?’
A man pushed his way through the onlookers and began sprinting across the grass, followed by several others. They were making a race of it, each wanting to be the last passenger. Esme, who had recognised the front runner, willed him to win, which he did, jumping into the basket and closing the gate as the men helping the balloonist let out the slack in the tethering rope.
‘You are quite mad, you know that, don’t you?’ he told her.
She smiled a little weakly as the balloon rose and began to sway as the breeze caught it. ‘I wanted an adventure.’
‘Now you have it.’
‘Yes.’ Her voice conveyed her nervousness and made him smile. ‘What about you?’
‘The same, I especially could not forgo the pleasure of having it with you. Are you afraid?’
‘Certainly not!’
‘Good.’ He grinned. ‘Then let us enjoy it. Look down there.’
Tying her bonnet firmly under her chin, she peered downwards. Already the people watching them were colourful dots and the houses little squares with tiny gardens and the parks large green patches. Apart from the wind in the rigging, there was little sound. ‘See, there is the Thames and that’s St Paul’s and there’s the Tower. And just down there is Buckingham Palace and, if you look over this way, you might be able to pick out Trent House.’
It was wonderful and as the wind lifted her hair she looked back at him with shining eyes. ‘I’m flying!’
‘Yes, you are.’
The balloonist smiled at her. ‘She has courage, that one,’ he said to Felix.
‘Yes, she has.’
Higher and higher they went. Noticing she was shivering in the cold air, he took off his coat and put it round her shoulders. He did not take his hand away,
but kept it across her shoulders, steadying her, as he listened to the aeronaut explaining the technicalities of ballooning, the size of the balloon, the weight in the basket, the height they had attained, the rate of ascent and descent, all of which he found fascinating. ‘When we take passengers, we remain tethered, not only to give them peace of mind but in order to return to the spot from which we started,’ he said. ‘When we fly free, we are looking for wind and currents of air to carry us along.’
‘I should like to try that some time,’ Felix said.
‘How far can you go that way?’ Esme asked. With Felix beside her and the confident tones of the balloonist explaining everything she did not feel afraid. She felt exhilarated. But the ground was an awfully long way down and she hoped the mooring ropes would hold.
‘Flights have already been made between England, France and Germany,’ he said. ‘Perhaps, who knows, one day a balloon will circle the earth.’
They were no longer rising, but suspended in space. For a few minutes they enjoyed the view of London and even some of the surrounding countryside spread out beneath them. ‘It makes me feel humble,’ she whispered. ‘Human beings are such small things when you think of the vastness of the universe.’
‘Yes, but small does not mean insignificant. The human race and its endeavours are what makes the world go round. It is the men of vision that keep us moving forward.’
‘Yes, I can understand why you and others like you are so keen on the Exhibition.’ She was aware of his hand on her shoulder and knew she ought to object to his impertinence, but it was reassuring to have it there and she let it lie.
It was only when the balloonist busied himself with the descent that she began to worry about what Rosemary would say. The nearer they came to the ground, the more apprehensive she became. But it wasn’t only Rosemary she had to face—it was a battery of reporters who circled the descending balloon. ‘Oh, dear, I did not expect that,’ she said. The balloon touched down with a jolt that sent her into the arms of Felix as the basket tipped over.
‘Are you hurt?’ Felix asked as the balloonist apologised for the hard landing and his helpers sprang forward to stop the deflated silk dragging the basket along the ground.
