Imperfect Daddy

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Imperfect Daddy Page 8

by Gregg E. Brickman


  "Good to see you too, Dad," she said without conviction.

  Dinner proceeded without incident. It was obvious by the terse exchanges between Ray and Branden that they had said more while they were on their ride, but the result must have been satisfactory overall. Branden's attitude warmed when he talked about their ride up and down the mountain.

  He said Amy Lynn Durant tried to follow them up the hill in her Ford Focus but couldn't keep pace. Branden laughed, marveling aloud that the lady would even try. There was a note of pride in his voice.

  I wondered if it was the same Focus Ray watched turning the corner and if Pyle was in the car with Amy or perhaps even behind the wheel. A shiver lodged in the base of my neck.

  After dinner, Martha sent the men from the kitchen, saying she appreciated the offer to help but the women would handle the dishes.

  Branden asked his grandfather to give him a haircut. John, who'd been a barber for the last fifty years, left the room and reappeared with a plastic drape, a black comb, scissors with a finger hook, clippers, and a fluffy brush. Branden perched on the stool in the middle of the kitchen. It was a well-practiced routine.

  After the haircut was complete, while Branden and his grandfather cleaned up, I removed a few strands of the boy's hair from the brush. After checking for tissue at the root end, I wrapped it in a small piece of paper I took from the message pad, and slipped the package into my jeans. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

  Sometime during the haircut, after we'd done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, Ray and Elaine disappeared out the back door. Though it was still cloudy and cold, the persistent drizzle had stopped. Seemingly engrossed in conversation, they sat together on a double swing under a huge tree.

  I watched through the kitchen window and felt a wave of jealousy but put it out of my mind. They had two children together and had things to discuss. Elaine had feelings for Ray. She had said as much. I was certain—at least I thought I was certain—Ray didn't have those kinds of feelings for Elaine. But he took Elaine's hand in his and held it to his mouth. I wondered if he would kiss her mouth next. He did, albeit briefly.

  Ray faced my direction. I suspected he saw me standing in the window. It was dark outside and the light was behind me. I stepped away, poured myself a cup of coffee, and sat at the kitchen table. I heard a play-by-play of a Yankee game coming from the television in the next room. The overlaying conversation told me the children and their grandparents often watched ballgames together. I thought it was nice, perhaps helping fill the void of Ray's absence.

  I felt left out, decidedly useless, and I wished I had the means to go back to the motel. I craved a long shower and a long sleep—escape. I toyed with the idea of taking Ray's car.

  Feeling like an eavesdropper, I tuned my ears into the muted conversation from the outside. I thought Ray and Elaine were under the roof covering the back porch. As I strained to hear, I realized it was raining.

  Elaine said, "You could have warned me, Raymond. I mean really. How was I to know all of that when Buddy Lee called me? He said he was coming to Parkview and wanted to see me while he was here."

  "Elaine, the thought never occurred to me that he would call you. It doesn't make sense. There's a manhunt for him across a dozen states."

  "He's coming this way. He called today, before I left work."

  "What did he say?" Ray asked, his tone of voice switching to working-detective mode.

  "The call lasted about thirty seconds. He asked if you were here and said he'd be seeing me soon."

  "Pyle has the balls to pull something off. I told you he recognized me when he bolted from his cousin's house. I expect seeing me brought his old threats to mind."

  "What am I going to do?" Elaine asked, her voice tremulous.

  "I'll hang around town for a few days, but then I have to head home. You need to keep in contact with Jake Ervin. He'll keep you safe."

  Elaine muttered something I didn't understand.

  Ray said, "First thing tomorrow morning, I'll come over to your house and make sure the doors and windows are secure. You might want to consider moving in with my parents for a while."

  "Raymond, first it's our house. You never signed it over to me. Secondly, I won't impose on Martha and John. They do enough for the kids and me. Really they do. This isn't their problem."

  "I don't expect they'll agree on that."

  I didn't hear anything for a couple of minutes. Then Ray said, "While I'm here, have the papers prepared, and I'll transfer the deed to you. There's no reason to have my name on it."

  "What about the payments?"

  "Elaine, I'll make the damned payments. I told you I'd take care of things until the kids are grown."

  "Raymond, I . . . I was hoping, maybe . . ."

  "Elaine, no." The door opened and Ray stepped into the kitchen. He hung his jacket on the hook next to mine and went into the next room without speaking. Elaine did the same.

  Exhausted and wanting to escape, I retrieved Ray's keys from his jacket pocket. I scribbled a note to his parents thanking them for dinner, apologizing for my rudeness, and claiming I had a splitting headache. I left. As I drove, I used my cell phone to make reservations to fly to Florida the next day.

  When Ray arrived a couple of hours later, I feigned sleep.

  "Sophi, how's the headache?"

  I opened my eyes. "I don't have a headache. I should have stayed in Florida. I don't belong here, not with her. And your kids. And your parents. They're all nice. I like them. But, I'm an outsider here. I want to go home."

  "We'll leave tomorrow."

  "No, I heard you promise to make Elaine's house safe, and you still have to get Branden straightened out with Chief Ervin. I'll fly home. Reservation's made. You can drop me at the airport in Roanoke in the morning. I'll wait until the flight."

  His eyes deepened and darkened. He looked hurt. "What time is your flight?"

  "Two."

  "I'll take you there at noon. Is that okay?"

  "Yes."

  "Would you like to have breakfast with Kerri and me in the mornin'? I'm meetin' her next door at the Country Café before her shift."

  "Fine. I can explain why I'm leaving."

  "Sophi." He touched my shoulder.

  "Goodnight, Ray." I rolled over and closed my eyes.

  ***

  The next morning, after a leisurely breakfast with Kerri where Ray and I pretended everything was fine, he drove me to the airport. Since it was raining, he kept the top up. I'd have preferred the noise of the wind to make conversation inconvenient.

  "Sophi, please don't go home. I need you here with me," he said.

  "Right, Ray. That's why you were all cozy with Elaine last night."

  "Sophi, I told you there's nothing between Elaine and me. She's the mother of my children. I wouldn't—couldn't—have anything to do with her." He stopped at a light. When he took my hand, I pulled it away. "I have no thoughts of another woman. It's only you I love."

  "If you say so," I said, thinking of the embrace I witnessed. The crushed expression on his face made me wince, but I didn't relent.

  18

  Connie met me at the airport late Tuesday night with Sunshine in tow. I hadn't wanted her to come, but she insisted. She didn't want me going home by taxi to an empty house, then making the trip to her place to get the dog. I wouldn't leave Sunshine with her when I was home.

  The next morning I dove into work, immersing myself in extra shifts, trying to flush Ray and his issues from my mind. I felt bad about leaving without saying good-by to his parents, but I'd written them a note of explanation. What did it matter, really? I didn't expect to see them again.

  It was Saturday before I ran into Kathleen outside the hospital before our shift. I'd visited Amber every evening before leaving work but hadn't run into Kathleen, who visited earlier in the day. Amber had an infection and was still in the hospital while Children's Care Services lurked in the wing
s. I didn't want to deal with that either.

  "Is something wrong?" Kathleen said as we walked together across the employees' parking lot. "I found out yesterday you left Ray in Virginia and flew home alone."

  I stopped Kathleen's comments with a well-directed glare. "Connie has a big mouth," I snapped. "I'll deal with her later."

  "Connie didn't tell me. Dick called Ray. Dick was concerned about the two of you. There's no word yet on where Pyle went, and Dick's worried he might catch up to you and Ray. Then we learned you were home."

  "Oh well, what can I tell you? Things weren't working out." Why was I angry with Kathleen? She wasn't to blame.

  Kathleen touched my arm, and we both stopped walking. "And splitting with Ray doesn't bother you?"

  "Of course it bothers me. He called Dick, but he hasn't bothered to call me. I've been here since Tuesday. That's four friggin' days." The words tumbled out. "What would you like me to say? I don't want to go into it here. I have to go to work. He hasn't called, no email, no text, nothing. What am I supposed to think?"

  "I don't know," she said.

  I could tell my manner hurt her, but I couldn't help myself. "I heard him and Elaine talking. The kids want them together. His son needs him to be close. Who am I to stand in the way of a family reuniting?" My eyes stung with tears. I swung around and headed for the ambulance entrance, walking fast enough so Kathleen couldn't keep up with me and continue talking at the same time.

  I gave a cheerful, although forced, hello to the first night-shift staff member I saw, began a conversation, and followed him into the staff lounge. From the looks of things—several stretchers parked in the hall, three ambulances under the canopy outside, and the buzz of activity around the nursing station—I wouldn't have to deal with the rest of Kathleen's questions until later in the day.

  Akin to the adult section of the ER, the pediatric area bustled with activity. Most of the illnesses were minor, the parents opting for the more expensive emergency room care in lieu of missing work during the week. I understood the economics of it. Their insurance covered most of the cost of the emergency service, while no one covered a missed day of work. And, of course, the line of clinic patients extended around the perimeter of the waiting room—uninsured kids and their parents coming to us because they had no place else to go.

  Around five in the afternoon, I escaped to the lounge for a cup of coffee and a few crackers. I felt starved. My stomach had growled so loudly several children pointed and laughed. My shift would be over in a couple of hours, and I intended to cook myself a hearty dinner. A snack would do.

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—" Kathleen said when she came in and saw me sitting alone.

  I could avoid my friend no longer. "Kathleen, it's okay. How are you doing? Connie says you've spent a lot of time upstairs." I directed the conversation to Kathleen's issues.

  "Connie does talk, doesn't she?"

  "Sure does. You and Amber bonding?"

  "All of us, really. Mikey has been in, Dick comes a lot, and I go on my breaks and days off. Amber needs family." Kathleen sounded convinced. She also sounded self-righteous.

  "It's a tough road you're mapping out. Are you sure it's the route to take, given your health and all?"

  "I'm fine. Dick wants it, too. He's helpful already with Mikey, and he wants a daughter. We both love her, Sophia." I absorbed her denial, her desire, and what, no doubt, was Dick's wish to make her happy.

  Feeling guilty about my uncomplimentary thoughts, I moved on with the conversation. "Has Dick said much about the case? Do they have any idea where Pyle went?"

  "They lost him somewhere in Georgia. The recovered Ranger was loaded with Pyle's prints. He'd made no effort to wipe it clean. After Pyle dumped the truck, the Georgia cops thought he stole a car. But joy riders swiped it—Georgia troopers recovered it a few miles away. By then they had no idea what Pyle was driving. Dick is moving on to other cases, waiting for him to surface. He thinks they'll put Ray back on the case when he returns."

  "Maybe not." I told her about Ray's conflict of interest. I tipped my coffee cup, drained the last bitter drop, and pushed back my chair.

  Kathleen touched my arm, stopping me. "We'd like you to join us for Dick's birthday dinner Monday night. You'll be our first company in our new home."

  "I'd love to," I said. It would feel strange being a guest in the condo, but the sooner the better. "When are you scheduled to work again?"

  "Not until Tuesday."

  "I'll call you Sunday and let you know if I'll be over Monday or not. I don't expect Ray back, and if he is, well . . . then I don't know. Since it's Dick's birthday, it would be better if Ray helped celebrate." I stood looking down at her.

  "Oh," she paused, "I guess your split with Ray is serious."

  "It's serious." I wandered across the hall, taking as much time as possible to walk the twenty-five feet.

  I had avoided talking about Ray until today and managed to put him out of my mind. Suddenly, my concerns stared me in the face. First, he lived in my house, and he had sold his condo. Second, I still loved him and didn't know what the situation was in Virginia. I thought my reply to his pleadings on the drive to the airport had been unresponsive at best, perhaps cruel. The memory of his crushed expression filled my thoughts.

  19

  It was dark when I pulled into my driveway. I had stopped for groceries, dallying with my selections, avoiding going home, and hoping Sunshine didn't burst his seams. Ray's Honda sat in the driveway, and lights were on in the back of the house. My heart raced, creating the sensation of palpitations rising to my throat. My mouth went dry.

  I sat in my Mini trying to gain control of the anxiety rush. On one hand, I was delighted he was back safely. On the other hand, I wondered if he was inside packing his things. Thinking of nothing better to do, I stepped inside, easing the door closed. Sunshine scurried to meet me at the door, and I bent to greet him. Ray arrived a second later but waited for Sunshine to have his rub.

  I met his eyes. "You're back."

  He'd been there for a while. I glanced in the direction of the bedroom where his suitcase sat open on the floor, and the clothes dryer clanged in the garage. He looked freshly showered and wore a pair of Dockers shorts and a Blue Ridge Parkway tee shirt.

  "I told you I would be." He held his arms out to me, but I backed off.

  "You staying?"

  "Do you want me to?" He continued to hold open arms in my direction.

  I waited, unsure of what to do. "Yes," I said and accepted the hug.

  He must have felt my tension because he released me. "I guess we have a few things to work on."

  "Yes, we do. I'll get dinner." I slid past him, avoiding any further touch, then stopped in my tracks. "I want to know just what the hell you think you're doing." My eyes stung.

  "Huh?" His eyebrows shot up.

  "First you forget to invite me to Virginia. Now I know why. You wanted to see Elaine, your precious ex-wife." Tears flooded my face.

  "Sophia." He called me Sophia. He was aggravated. "You know I needed to see Elaine. I went there because of the problem with Branden. He's Elaine's and my son. And I had to make sure Elaine and my kids would be safe from Pyle. What was I supposed to do?"

  "I don't know. Treat me like I wasn't invisible."

  "What? Sophia, I never ignored you."

  "First you sneak around spying on the kid you say you love so much."

  "That has nothing to do with you."

  "Oh no? You're the one who called me your fiancée in front of everyone. What do I look like? A schmuck? I should be the first to know—before, not after your darling ex-wife." I detonated the anger cooped up inside me. I rushed at him and pounded my fists on his chest. "Then you go out and sit in the damned swing in the friggin' rain with her, and you kissed her."

  He grabbed me by the wrists and held me away from him. "Sophia, I can explain."

  I wrestled my arms away from his grasp and backed into the kitchen doorway. Staring hi
m straight in the eyes, I said, "Go ahead. Explain."

  "When we were married, I used to kiss her hand and then her lips to make things better. It wasn't a romantic thing. We were talking about the problem with Branden. I wanted to help her feel better." His deep voice was patient, melodic—his calm-the-hysterical-female mode.

  "Right. Then you came into the house, only because it was raining I might add, and you walked past me as if I were invisible." I was yelling, but I didn't care. In all the years of our on-again-off-again relationship, I had never yelled at Ray. We had never raised a hand to one another either.

  "Sophi, I'm sorry. I was preoccupied with Branden. Elaine told me more about the trouble he was in and about how some of the kids at school were harassing him over her past. He got in a fight before school was out and the principal suspended him. He missed finals and failed two classes. Branden refused to go to summer school, claiming he would come to Florida. Then he refused to do that too."

  "She just told you all that, now? What was she waiting for, hell to freeze over?"

  "Maybe." He sat on the arm of the living room sofa. "Sophi, believe me, I know Elaine is trying to get me back into her life. She made that clear. I made it clear to her I love you and want to marry you. I won't go back to the shell of a marriage she and I had. Why would I? You're my life now. You—you and my kids."

  I sensed his sincerity and saw the love in his eyes. As my anger waned, I realized my fists ached. I knew his chest was equally tender, but he'd never admit it. I went to him and yanked up his shirt. "Your chest is red."

  "You pack a mean punch, woman." He laughed, the sound came from deep inside.

  "Ya, I do. Don't I?" I stepped out of his reach. I was ready to quit yelling, but I wasn't ready for anything else. I didn't crack a smile. "Hungry?"

  "Want to go out?"

  "No. We'll cook." I thought of what I'd purchased. I had plenty of veal for two. A premonition? After I showered, I slipped on denim shorts and a huge tee shirt and started breading the cutlets. He joined me in the kitchen, busying himself with salad making.

 

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