by Tara Brown
Murphy wrapped himself around me, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Gwyn.”
I pushed against him, shaking and sobbing. I had told myself, so long as I prepared for him to possibly be dead, he would show up alive and surprise me. I dropped into the dirt, feeling colder than I ever had.
I lost everything in one moment. I might as well have torn my heart from my chest and left it there on the cold dirt.
Nan wrapped around me, as did my mother. She even cried a little. She understood what was being said.
“I told myself there was a chance. It was a small chance that he was dead.” I sobbed harder.
Murphy lifted me off the ground and carried me inside. He hugged me tighter than he ever had. He sat in a chair and held me. The feel of his warmth was comforting but I imagined Lyle could see me. It was like the king had said: his spirit could watch me from Heaven. I squirmed my way from his arms, wiping my face and forcing everything back down inside of me.
Murphy tried to reach for me but I backed away.
“How?”
Murphy sighed, lowering his large hand. “He fell. We were running, trying to get here when a group of the slavers came out of the woods. We fought them but they had guns and we had Amber. So Lyle jumped in front of the bullet when one of the men raised his gun and fired at Amber, right for her pregnant belly. It was sick. Lyle took the hit in the stomach and fell from the edge of the cliff we were on. I saw red. I killed the man and then I killed another and another, until it was just me and the three girls.”
My whole body went numb as I waited for the rest of it. “Where is she now?”
He lifted his eyes, smiling. “At my place.” He opened the door and nodded his head. “Follow me.” He walked back out into the cold and down the dingy street to an even smaller shack. He opened the door and held it for us.
I hadn’t reached the door yet, when I heard it. A baby cried into the wind. My eyes sought out his. He smiled and nodded. “You’re an aunt.” He looked at my mother. “And you’re a grandmother.”
Tears filled my eyes again. I blinked them away and walked into the cramped space to see Brooke, but not the way I remembered her. She was thin and pale and her hair was cut short. She leapt at me, wrapping around me, sobbing instantly. It wasn't that I wasn't amazed at seeing her, but my best friend in the whole world, apart from Lyle and Nan, was sitting in a chair holding a piece of my brother’s soul.
Amber’s honey-brown hair was short as well. Her eyes were just as dark as I remembered. The flecks of black seemed to consume me. She cried silently, shaking her head, almost twitching in disbelief.
Brooke didn't let go of me as my mother and Amber embraced and my mother sat so she too could hold the little man so obviously my brother’s baby. He had the same dark-golden hair and olive skin my brother had. And when his little eyes met mine I nearly cried. He had the same thick black lashes and bright-blue eyes my brother had had.
“He looks like him, huh?” Amber sniffed. My eyes caught the silver ring on her hand. She had not taken it off even though he was dead and her pairing was gone.
“Exactly like him,” I spoke softly, still letting Brooke cling to me. Amber got up when she was sure my mom had the baby and wrapped herself into the hug Brooke and I were sharing. An auburn head of short hair came around the corner of the small shack. It was Beth. She stopped, instantly crying out and jumping into our embrace. Somehow they had all found each other.
I had been the one who was lost, not them.
I looked back at Murphy with tears streaming my cheeks and laughed bitterly. “You really are a magic man.” I couldn’t be heartbroken for my loss when so much had been returned.
He winked at me but said nothing.
Amber held me and I pointed at Nan who stood completely still in the entrance. I pointed and spoke through my tears, “This is Nan. She’s from The Lost City.”
Amber’s eyes narrowed. “You went there? Murphy said it’s a terrible place.”
I glanced back at Murphy, feeling a skeptical look cross my own face. “Why did you say that?”
He lifted his wrist, revealing a scar where the other man had one. “I was born there, Gwyn. I know all the dirty little secrets of The Lost City. I would take my chances out here before I would go back there.”
My eyes drifted to Nan, her jaw was tight and her lips thin. I shook my head, hoping it would impact the irrational desires I could blatantly see on her face. Murphy turned to look at her. “You’re from there as well then?”
She nodded slowly, her eyes analyzing him.
“Then you told Gwyn about the guards who are trained there for The Last Cities? You told her how the weakest are given to the slavers, just given over as if they are nothing?”
Nan sighed, gritting her teeth still, but looking less like she might murder him any second.
He nodded. “I thought not.” He looked back at me. “I was given to The Last City as a trainer killer, trained in The Lost City by the Black Brothers. The scar on my wrist says I am one of them, one of the Brothers. It means I have no rights in the city and can be asked to do anything by a council member. That place is no different than The Last City. They believe they are so much better because everyone votes but the citizens only vote on the things they feel are unimportant enough for the voters to know about. The really bad things are kept secret from the masses.”
Nan scowled. “You don't know all of that to be truth! You are making it worse than it is! At least we don't steal the memories of people!” She spat her words at him.
He leaned in, letting her know he meant what he said. “No, you just steal the people and lie about the crimes they supposedly committed so you could buy off the slavers. Why do you think they never attack The Lost City? Where do you think they get their ale and cigars? The Lost City is smart enough to know how to placate the slavers and to avoid conflict with them. It’s no different than the monsters in The Last City.”
I lifted a hand. “It doesn't matter. The Lost City and The Last City are evil, the slavers are evil. Everyone is evil. So we can take our chances with them or we can help the king rebuild the kingdom and go there.”
Nan snorted but Murphy nodded. “Now that's an idea.”
My mother cooed and kissed and completely ignored us. She was back; I could see that. Even the color had returned to her cheeks as she smiled and snuggled the baby boy.
“What’s his name?” I asked Amber as I pulled the ring from my brother’s finger from my pocket, and placed it into her hand.
She smiled as if her mind went to a different time and place as she saw the band of metal he had worn. “Gregory.” She looked up at me. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you.” I hugged her and Brooke once more and then sat on the couch next to my mom and leaned in to kiss the baby’s soft little cheeks. He smelled wonderful, like every kind of medicine a person could ever need.
Nan laughed at Murphy and asked, “So how did you get your name, magic man?”
His eyes filled with humor. “I have some of the memory-makers poison and some of what I used as a guard to take memories away. It resets people completely.”
“And you’re the one taking people back into The Lost Cities?”
He nodded. “Some of the people are not doing well out here. They miss the order and the peace and the protection, and they don't care that it cost them their memories. Most people haven’t made memories worth keeping.”
My mother’s eyes darted to mine. “I have now.”
I started to cry again. I couldn’t believe the luck we had found in the most random and scary of places. Murphy gave me a look. “You hungry?”
I nodded.
He tilted his head, motioning for the hallway Beth had come from and walked down there. I followed him as the girls all cooed over the baby. All but Nan who watched us leave.
When we got into the small cooking area, he leaned against the counter made of wood and metal and cocked his head to the side. “Why are you with one of the
guards?”
I glanced back, wondering if she had followed us. “I made friends with her.”
“They don't make friends. They have a purpose in everything they do.”
“I found her little sister after the invasion on the slavers.”
He narrowed his gaze, contemplating that but then shook his head. “I don't buy it.”
“Did you burn his remains and send him off?” I changed the subject in case Nan had followed us.
“No. I ran with the girls before the other slavers came.”
I glanced down at the dirty floor and shook my head. “I need you to take me back there and show me where it was.”
“No.”
I lifted my gaze, searching his eyes for some sort of compassion. “I remember everything. I remember your kindness and your sweetness and the way you watched me sleep every night so I felt safe. I remember it all.”
He walked to me, brushing my hair out of my face. “Then you remember liking me?” He bent and pressed his lips against mine, not kissing but lingering there as if waiting for me to push him away. But I didn't. I closed my eyes and tried to remember how it felt to be loved. Lyle’s blue eyes drifted into my memories, overpowering the ones of Bran or Murphy. I shook my head. “I can’t do this,” I whispered against his lips. “Besides, you said you’d never kiss me again.”
I felt him smile as he pulled back. “You can’t still love him.”
I opened my eyes, offended by the statement. “Why not?”
“He’s dead. He would want you to be happy and safe, and I can guarantee both of those things.”
I lowered my head to his chest, letting him hug me instead. “I think I’m finally over love, Murph. I don't think I will ever be the victim of it again. He took it all with him when he left. He didn't even say goodbye.”
He chuckled, squeezing a little more. “You don't know that.”
“I do. I honestly thought I would find him. I honestly made myself dishonor the feelings I had for him, believing the circumstance had made me feel that way. And I was so tired of being told how to feel or act that I convinced myself I didn't love him, not truly. And all along he was dead and I was dishonoring him.”
He shook his head, kissing the top of mine and muttering his warm breath into my hair, “No. It's the way the brain and heart react when they’re forced into things unnaturally. You doubt everything. He knew that. He had his doubts.”
I pulled back, actually wounded by the comment. “He did?”
He nodded. “He worried you loved Bran more than you loved him.” His lips turned up into a mocking grin, the only one he had. “We all were a bit worried about that.”
My heart trembled because my lip could not. I could not bear to have him see me upset for them thinking that way, even if it was exactly how they should have all thought. I never should have fallen for three boys, even if I couldn't help it. They had set me up to fail.
“But he always said he loved you enough for both of you.”
I lost it there. There was no recovering from those words. Lyle had said them to me before. He had told me that. Even though it was Murphy’s mouth saying them, I heard Lyle’s voice. I closed my eyes as tears streamed my cheeks. He kissed my forehead again. “Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”
I shook my head. “I think you’re fixing me.”
We stood there for a moment and I imagined he knew I was pretending it was Lyle holding me. I imagined he didn't care, he just felt sorry for me and let me do it.
The Lost City of Fools
We rode into The Lost City, with Murphy concealing his wrist, which was against the rules of his order of assassins.
The scars that had once been placed there during a ceremony symbolized his vow to honor the city’s binding agreement with the Black Brothers. If they did anything, it was shackle him with a metaphor.
The girls seemed excited about the fact they were riding into a civilization of sorts. We took them directly to the inn where the king was staying. He had paid for the entire inn to supply a place for his people, what was left of them anyway.
Nan took the horses to the stables when we arrived, while the rest of us headed for a room and a hot meal. I was frozen until Amber snuggled into me as we climbed the steps. “Your brother made me so happy. I wrote myself letters every day so that I could remember things faster. I wrote everything he did and said and was.” She reached into the small sack of things she had and passed me a bunch of papers. “Keep them.”
Unable to take them, I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“I have them memorized. I know every word and moment that I had with him.”
I gripped the folded pages and kissed her cheeks. “I missed you.”
She leaned in even more. “I missed you too.”
My mom held the baby tight to her chest, kissing his chubby cheeks and savoring the smell of him. The king jumped up from his seat, rushing to the three girls, hugging and marveling at their being alive. He paused, giving Beth and Brooke a look. “I don't believe we have had the pleasure.”
Amber smiled at the older man. “This is Brooke, my friend from The Last City. She was at the slave camps.”
He shook Brooke’s thin hand.
Amber pointed to Beth and smiled even wider. “And this is Beth, also a friend from the camps.”
He winced. “You ladies are far too fair to ever be in a camp like that.” He turned back, pointing at the feast on the table behind us. “Please, take a seat and have a meal. We have just sent a massive group of builders, led by Michael, to the kingdom with what is left of the army.”
I paused, waiting for him to tell me of some terrible plan to kill Michael but he relented.
He raised his hands seeing the surprised look on my face. “I know we can’t be picky right now about who helps us. So I have forgiven him and allowed him back into the kingdom. He is helping with the rebuild. He took some of your friends, Clary, Lisle, and Anna with him. They are building the main hall in the image of this very inn.” He marveled at the ceiling. “I just adore this place.” When he looked back down his eyes were filled with emotion as they landed on baby Gregory. He looked at Amber and then her stomach. “No! It can’t be?” He lunged at my mother, kissing the baby’s small head. “He lived!”
Amber laughed. “He is my reason for living.”
My mother nodded. She agreed without speaking. She and Amber had instantly bonded, beyond what they had ever been, the moment my mother became a grandma.
“This is my mother, Your Highness.”
“You must be so excited to have a grandson. Congratulations.” He nodded and stroked the child’s small cheek once more. “And a boy too. What a fine lad your son Greg was. Strong as an ox and smarter than any man I’ve ever met. Loaded with sense and instinct. The very things that keep a man alive in a world such as this.”
My mother was weeping softly but managed to nod her head a little. She didn't speak, just held the baby tighter than I would have. I could have kissed Amber for letting my mother have so much time with him. But she seemed relieved at the break. She was a far better mother than I had expected her to be. She suited the job. It had softened and hardened her in all the right places. She didn't smile at men or bat her lashes. She didn't follow their movements or giggle. I had lost my best friend but the price was worth the prize.
As they settled in, I gave my mom a look. “I’ll go find Dad. Bring him here?”
She smiled at me. “If you think he would like to meet Gregory, then yes. If you think he would not, then don't bother.” Her words were calm the way they were when she told me Greg would never forgive me for making him leave the city with me. Seeing his baby and the love for him my friend had, I realized Greg never would have had half the joy he had had in his short time away from the city had he stayed in it. In a twisted way I had saved him from the fate that was planned for him. My mother would never understand that. But I realized as I left the inn for my father’s work that I didn't need her to. I unde
rstood it.
“Wait up.” Murphy ran after me, walking along and muttering, “I’m going to go ahead and help keep the kingdom safe and assist with the building. If you want to come there with me.”
I could see what he was actually offering, but I would never be free of the person I had actually fallen in love with. I didn't want to be free. “I have to stay with Amber and the baby and my mom until the kingdom is ready for us.”
“You’re going to come there?”
I nodded. “I don't want to stay here. What if one day I’m the weakest and they just give me over to whatever is left of the slavers?”
“I would kill them all.”
“I know.” I believed him. He truly was the safest place in the world. “We will come as soon as there is somewhere to lay our heads.”
“I don't think the baby should stay here.” His eyes darted around the streets where people hustled to their varying destinations. “Boys are in short supply. I heard once that for every baby girl born there are three boys. Almost as if the world is trying to make up for the shortage The Last City has created by taking most of the males. But the way I heard it through the rumor mill was that baby boys were stolen, taken from people in the wilds.”
“I was told once that it’s mostly pregnant females removed from The Last City. That must be why there are so many babies to steal.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Getting pregnant without the permission meant a flaw in the system. Giving birth to a baby that carried a single disease in its genes meant they had to leave. The number of pregnant women through those gates is astronomical. Some find their way here and others find their way to the river folk in the Dustlands. Most find the slavers or vice versa. Their population has been inflated with pregnant women from The Last Cities.”
“That's disgusting.”
He shrugged. “Pushing people out of a gate is not the worst thing I’ve had to do, and I doubt it’ll be the last time I have to do something I desperately don't want to.” He glanced around again, looking incredibly nervous. “If I stay here I guarantee I’ll be put to work.” He leaned in, kissing my cheek. “Think about coming. I’ll let Amber know how unsafe Gregory is here.” He turned and walked back into the inn.
