by Caine, Candy
“It wasn’t my intention to argue.” Jill’s voice was hoarse with frustration. “All I want is for us to have a modicum of a life together. With me here and you always at the office, we have hardly a marriage, let alone a life.”
“You know I’m doing this for us—”
“Do I? That argument’s just as old and worn-out. Maybe it sufficed early in our marriage when you had just started your job and you felt you had to prove yourself, but now that you’ve accomplished so much...I don’t think so.”
Jill watched the expression on Adam’s handsome face quickly change from annoyance to anger. That he didn’t know she’d feel this way was simply mind-boggling. And how long did he actually think the I’m-doing-this-all-for-you line would make everything all right? Perhaps if she were a naïve child. However, she was a grown woman with real needs and desires.
“I don’t believe you just said that, Jill,” Adam replied, a critical tone to his voice.
“Why not? You’re not married to me anymore. I’ve been replaced by your precious advertising accounts.”
Adam stiffened as if Jill had struck him and shot her one last penetrating icy-blue look before finally entering the bathroom.
Jill watched him disappear behind the door and lay back down. As tears welled in her eyes, she felt irritated and unhappy with herself for allowing Adam to draw her into another argument. She didn’t want to cry and certainly didn’t want Adam to see her tears. She was done crying over him and the loneliness he left her to suffice as a companion during all the long, empty evenings. He just didn’t comprehend how she felt, and she saw no way to reach him. They just went round and round on a merry-go-round of miscommunication.
At least she knew that it was his work and not another woman that kept him from her. Perhaps if it were another woman, she could fight her...
CANDY CAINE
Adam walked out of the bathroom and picked up the argument where they’d left off. “You’re acting ridiculous,” he said in a tone one would use when speaking to a child.
“I’m ridiculous?” His remark grated on her, causing her anger to bubble once more to the surface.
“Can’t you, for just one moment, look at things through my eyes? Put yourself in my shoes and take a real good look around you. How do you think we’ve managed to buy all this? It’s because of my dedication to my work and the solid hours I give to it,” Adam said, as he swept his hand around him for emphasis before thumping his thumb against his chest. “I worked my ass off to give you all this.”
However, it was the expression on his face that said it all. The tightening of his jaw and the faint pulse to the nerve on the side of his forehead silently shouted out his anger with her selfish attitude. His narrowed blue eyes glared at her like bits of stone. She knew that the conversation was over. Nothing was ever discussed beyond this point. Whenever Adam felt threatened, he shut down, ending any further discussion. By doing so, they never resolved anything and merely left another gaping wound in their marriage. One day they’d run out of Band-Aids to cover those open sores.
“Adam?”
“What is it now?” he said through perfect, white, clenched teeth.
Realizing it would be futile to try to reach him at this point, Jill murmured, “Never mind.”
She slipped back down into the bed and turned over to face the wall. Tears of frustration and anger began to refill her eyes. She refused to let him see how upset she truly was.
Jill listened as he put on his shoes and left the room. Then several minutes later, she heard the front door open and close, followed by the sound of his car engine starting. Adam was gone. Perhaps he’d be home around dinnertime—perhaps not. At that moment, Jill hardly cared. She was too miserable.
As she lay there sobbing in the silence of her bedroom, Jill thought back to how things used to be in the early years of their marriage. It seemed like so long ago, but it had only been eight years.
BECAUSE OF YOU
She and Adam, like any other newly married couple, had been terribly in love and practically inseparable. It was as if they could never get enough of each other. She would be at her teller’s job at the bank watching the clock with one eye and counting the minutes until she could rush home to be enfolded in his loving arms. She’d always find him there waiting to make love to her. Half the time, they hardly made it to the bedroom. Where had all that love and passion gone?
Jill hugged herself as the memory of years past gently drifted through her mind...
They were celebrating their one-month anniversary of being together. Adam had gotten home first and had been waiting for her. He opened the door to their apartment and just seeing him standing there caused a surge of excitement to rush through her. As he swept her into his arms, his nearness made her senses spin. And when his lips hungrily covered hers, she felt a delicious shudder heat her body. Her purse fell to the floor, quickly followed by her coat.
His lips seared a path down her neck and shoulders, eliciting a low moan from her. She eagerly responded with her own feverish kisses. Her restless hands, needing to touch him, threaded their fingers through his thick, blond hair and slipped under his shirt, feeling the smooth texture of his hard back.
Adam had opened her blouse and kissed the swells of her breasts. Hungrily, he reclaimed her mouth. They began to slowly make their way to the bedroom. Clothing dropped as they kissed and bumped their way there. By the time they fell onto the bed with Adam straddling her, they were naked. Jill loved that feeling of skin on skin and had insufficient words to describe what it did to her.
Jill was halfway to heaven by the time Adam entered her. With their hearts hammering in their chests almost beating as one, a sense of urgency dictated their movement. Within moments, Jill's world exploded into a myriad of vibrant colors as noises of pleasure filled the room.
The memory faded and tears of disappointment filled Jill's eyes as she wondered once more, where had all that passion gone?
Jill traced her unhappiness back to that one day following their honeymoon when Adam had gotten out of bed and decided to become God’s gift to advertising. He set his sights on becoming his agency’s director of client services, which was the person in charge of the entire account service team. From that day on, he was transformed into a workaholic.
CANDY CAINE
The effort paid off for him, which she couldn't deny. He worked hard and in short time became an account director, responsible for two important accounts. Six months later, two more accounts were added. Within three years, he held the title of group account director and was responsible for a group of accounts and had other account directors working under him.
The bonuses and commissions he made were intoxicating, but like any drug, they only served to whet his appetite. He desired to sell more. And like any drug, the more money he made, the more he wanted.
At first Jill thought it was all so very wonderful. She couldn’t be any more proud of, and happy for, Adam. They were able to move to the suburbs and buy a beautiful home, one that she’d hoped to fill with children. She also thought that once Adam had established himself, he’d have more time to spend at home and enjoy the fruits of his labor. However, none of this had ever happened.
The reason was simple. Adam was determined to become the director of client services, and because of this, he worked even harder, putting in longer hours at the office. He stopped taking vacations and virtually any time off. Jill couldn’t remember the last time they’d spent two consecutive days together.
Having been replaced by his new mistress, work, Jill tried to tell him how lonely she felt. Either her complaint fell on deaf ears or Adam was too consumed by his job to listen. Perhaps he was too selfish to place her needs above his. Whatever the reason, this discussion would nearly always lead to an argument.
Jill assumed this drive to succeed, which propelled Adam to work incessantly, had to do with his dad being an alcoholic who wasn’t able to hold a job very long. That would explain Adam’s need to
achieve. He feared becoming like his father. And he certainly proved her parents wrong.
Her parents, middle-class African Americans, looked down on Adam and his family. To them, he was white trash who’d most likely end up no better than his father. They wanted her to marry a black man and had had several picked out for her. But a handsome, blond, blue-eyed Teutonic god of a man named Adam had come into her life and simply swept her off her feet. And the rest, as they say, was history.
BECAUSE OF YOU
Adam’s solution for her loneliness was far from what Jill had envisioned or desired. He suggested she find a hobby to fill her time. However, she didn’t want or need a hobby. What she needed was a full-time husband who cared about her and her happiness. One who was at home more than doing God-knows-what at work.
Along with everything else, their once wonderful sexual relationship had gone missing. When Adam came home from work he was usually way too tired to even think about being intimate. It would seem that his career was far more important to him than Jill. It hadn’t been long before she grew to hate his job and its intrusion on their lives.
52
ALSO BY CANDY CAINE
— AVAILABLE 2016 —
At First Sight
Carol Landsberg knocked on the door of her star ad man, Stuart Tanner III. It wasn’t a request to enter, but more of a heads up. Stuart looked up as his supervisor entered. His look of surprise became a warm smile. He admired the blonde, well-dressed woman who’d made it in a male-dominated field.
“What’s up, boss lady?” He expected she was here to tell him about some new ad campaign, but then noticed she didn’t have a blue binder with her.
Ms. Landsberg returned his smile. “Just thought you should know that we hired a new copywriter who will be partnering with you and I think you’re really going to like her.”
The grin on Stuart’s face dimmed quickly when he heard the pronoun her. Carol continued singing the accolades of someone named Autumn Stiles. One of the things she mentioned was that her father was the President of Phoenix National Bank, and that triggered Stuart’s worst fear that she’d only be just another self-absorbed pain in the butt in a long line of spoiled Daddy’s Girls who thought that working at an ad agency was glamorous and a walk in the park. Women he’d wasted time nurturing and training only to have them leave when they realized how grueling the work was.
Well, not this time.
Stuart realized he had to get out in front of the situation. He would find a way to give Autumn Stiles a welcome she’d never forget. She’d realize that working at SB&T wasn’t as great as it was cut out to be and she’d quit giving Stuart the peace and quiet he needed to be able to do his work instead of wasting his time.
***
The day Autumn Stiles landed the job as an ad copywriter for Simpson, Brown and Thompson, or SB&T as those in the business referred to the firm, was the happiest day of her life. She was raring to go the minute Carol Landsberg, her immediate supervisor, shook her hand and welcomed her to the company. After working for a small advertising agency in Tucson and marathon sessions of watching Mad Men, she was ready to dazzle the world with her ads filled with clever imagination and repartees. She just never factored Stuart Tanner, a six-foot-two brown-eyed albatross, into the equation.
***
Autumn had set her clock for 6:00 AM. She wanted to have extra time to look her very best on her first day of work. She brushed her thick mane of black hair up and kept it in place with a pretty hair clip. To complete the look of sophistication, she put on a new blue silk business suit that went well with her tawny colored skin. After applying just enough eye shadow to bring out the green in her hazel eyes, she appraised herself in a full-length mirror several more minutes before deeming herself ready to take on the advertising world.
Opening her apartment door at 8:00 AM, Autumn was nearly blinded by the bright Arizona sun. She opened her purse and took out her sunglasses as she walked to her car, a gray Hyundai Accent that had already seen about fifty-thousand too many miles. Hopefully, now that she had a good job, she’d be able to replace it before it left her stranded along some roadside. When the engine started up right away, she breathed easily once more. And when the air conditioner kicked in, as well, she said a prayer of thanks and headed for SB&T. Though her route was direct, McDowell Rd. was backed up with other cars, all seemingly heading for downtown Phoenix. Autumn was glad she’d allowed herself extra time.
She hummed along to the music as she crawled her way toward Central Avenue. She wasn’t certain if she was more excited or nervous about starting her dream job. As she pulled into the parking lot and found a spot, she realized she was soon going to find out. There was no turning back—not that she wanted to. This was the breakout job she’d been waiting for.
Autumn approached the main reception desk where a dark-haired woman sat taking calls and greeting everyone who came to the door.
Time to start making money, Autumn thought, identifying herself.
“Yes. Ms. Landsberg is waiting for you in her office, which is right down that corridor on the right,” the receptionist said as she pointed a perfectly manicured finger in that direction.
“Thank you,” Autumn replied and slowly headed down the corridor until she came to a door with Carol Landsberg’s nameplate on it. Taking a deep breath, she went inside. Guarding the inner sanctum of her boss was a woman in her late thirties with light brown hair and alert blue eyes. She looked up and smiled. “Autumn, right?”
Autumn nodded, afraid she might stutter from nervousness. She knew she should act more self-assured, but so much was riding on this job—not to mention the fact she had to succeed. Willing herself to be calm, she mentally grabbed hold of her dangling nerves and straightened her spine.
“Go on in. She’s waiting for you,” said the personal assistant.
Autumn still felt a few stray butterflies fluttering around in the pit of her stomach. Swallowing hard, she made a last-ditch attempt to shoo them away before knocking lightly on Carol Landsberg’s office door. She was in awe of the tall, attractive blonde woman who had made it to one of the top rungs of Simpson, Brown and Thompson. It was Autumn’s dream to be sitting right next to her on that rung.
“Come in,” Autumn heard. Taking one last deep breath the entered the plush office.
The corner office was just as she’d remembered it. Several framed award certificates from
Advertising associations covered half of one wall. The other half of the wall had pictures of Ms. Landsberg standing alongside others receiving awards. Glancing at those awards reminded Autumn how lucky she’d been to land a job with this firm, which, though fairly new, was considered the one on the move in the Phoenix area.
“Why, hello, Autumn. Welcome to SB&T.”
“I’m really happy to be here.”
Carol Landsberg smiled warmly back at her. “I’d wanted to show you around and introduce you to everyone this morning, but I’ve got an important meeting to attend. Will you be all right if I leave you in your office until after the meeting?”
“Of course. I left a couple of boxes filled with some things I’ll need for my desk in my car. I can use the time to retrieve them.”
Carol looked pleased. “Sounds like a plan.” She led Autumn down the long red-carpeted hall to a door on the right. “Well, here we are,” Carol said as she opened the door and turned on the light.
Autumn’s smile froze on her face. The office was the size of a postage stamp. Inside there were two desks and a set of filing cabinets against a wall. There was a window, but its view was of a parking lot. Just looking at the room gave her claustrophobia.
“This is your desk, Autumn. Settle in and familiarize yourself with the book of current clients that you’ll find in your top right drawer. I’ll check in on you after the meeting.”
Trying not to show her disappointment with her office, which looked more like a prison cell; Autumn nodded and thanked her supervisor.
After Carol h
ad gone, Autumn, hands on hips, looked around the room and sighed. Oh, well, she thought, consoling herself with the notion that if she worked hard and proved herself she’d eventually be rewarded with a nicer office.
Autumn remembered the boxes in her trunk and ventured back outside. She passed the receptionist again, who had momentarily lifted her head from whatever she’d been reading.
“I’ll be right back. Just getting some of my things from the car.” Autumn wondered if she said that to convince herself or the receptionist that she wasn’t running away.
The woman nodded and answered the phone that had begun to ring.
Autumn reached her car and opened the back hatch, certain that the squeaky hinges were heard in the office building as well as in the next one over. She took out the first corrugated box and placed it on the hood of the car. As she grabbed for the second box and placed it on top of the other, sweat began to bead on her forehead and temples. It had apparently gotten hotter since she arrived. She couldn’t wait to get back inside where the air-conditioning was cranking.
Lifting the boxes from the car, Autumn wasn’t able to see over the boxes and had to peak around them. It would have been prudent for her to make two trips, but she decided against it. Precariously, she began to walk slowly toward the front door. She was halfway there when she realized she was going to have a difficult time getting the door open. Just as she made it to the building, she heard a voice behind her ask if she needed any help. She turned her head to see a man carrying a briefcase.
“If you can just get the door for me that would be great,” Autumn replied, relieved.
“New here?”
“Yes, I’m Autumn Stiles.”
“Joe Dorso. Good luck to you, Autumn,” he said, opening the door.
“Thanks.”
