My heart squeezed and a dozen emotions rushed through me. First amongst them, relief – that Leo hadn’t been attacked, that Stormclaw would let him help. That we could fix his leg. But also sadness. Stormclaw didn’t trust me anymore. This proved it. He would let someone else handle him, but not me. I gritted my teeth and shoved my self-pity aside. We could fix Stormclaw now, and that was all that mattered. I pried my hands from the top rail of the fence as Leo placed one hand on Stormclaw’s shoulder and started walking back over to us, the headcollar dangling unused from one hand. He didn’t even need it, Stormclaw was just following him, like– Like he used to with me. My heart squeezed again.
Seriously, what was the matter with me? This was exactly what we’d hoped would happen. There was absolutely no way I was letting petty jealousy get in the way of that.
“The shifter’s not bad,” Iain said. “Not many people could have done that.”
“He worked with the herd at Dragondale.” I forced a smile and buried the edge of bitterness to my tone. “Professor Alden doesn’t let anyone but the best near her herd.”
“You’re not wrong there,” the leighlann said, squinting as he watched Stormclaw’s gait. “She’s sent more than one of my apprentices running back with their tails between their legs.”
I cocked my head at him, wondering if he was talking about literal tails, then shoved the thought aside and reached for the latch on the gate. I swung it open and moved aside to make room for Leo and Stormclaw. They came through, Leo still with his hand on the gryff’s shoulder, and I closed it behind them. Not that there was any real need for the gate, strictly speaking, since the gryffs tended just to fly straight over the fence if they wanted to go somewhere. Handier for Leo, though.
Now that they were closer, I could see the four-inch tear in Stormclaw’s front talon – the one I’d fallen next to. Flailed next to. Was it possible that I’d hurt him when I fell? I swallowed the acidic guilt and reached a hand out to Stormclaw’s smooth hindquarters.
“Good boy. You’re going to be okay now.”
He snorted and spun round, flaring his wings and rolling the whites of his eyes at me. He tossed his head and stamped a rear hoof, then snorted again as his weight shifted onto his injured talon.
“Easy,” Leo breathed, reaching for Stormclaw’s shoulder again. “Easy, boy. Steady.”
Stormclaw backed up a few more steps, tossing his head again. I backed up, too, horror-stricken.
“He hates me,” I said. “He really hates me.”
I’d injured him, and he blamed me for it. And how could he not?
“Maybe he just doesn’t like your new perfume,” Leo said, without taking his eyes from the gryff.
“What perfume?” Like I had time and money to worry about things like perfume right now. Leo snapped his head round to look at me. His nostrils flared and he cocked his head with a frown.
“You don’t smell that?”
“I think we’ve established that I don’t. Not a shifter, remember?”
He snorted. “Like I could forget. You’re way too puny.”
“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes. “Did you have an actual point?”
He took a step away from Stormclaw, towards me, and sniffed the air again, then glanced back over his shoulder at the cluster of druids watching him with expressions that ranged from wary to curious to outright suspicious.
“None of you smell that?”
“Leo, you’re the only shifter here,” I said, throwing my hands up. “Would you please tell me what you can smell?”
“Alright, calm down, druid girl.”
He sniffed again.
“It’s like… like magic.”
“I’m a druid. Of course I smell of magic!”
He shook his head. “Not your magic. That has an earthy, kinda petrichor scent to it. This is more…” He took another rapid series of sniffs, and recoiled a fraction, his nose wrinkling. “Like something’s gone off. Rotten.”
“Something inside me is rotten?” I could hear my voice rising and I clamped my jaw shut, turning my eyes on the others. Did cowardice have a scent – was that what Leo was smelling? I swallowed. Was that why Stormclaw hated me now?
“Let’s head back inside,” Iain suggested.
I shook my head and shrugged his hand off my shoulder, wrapping my arms around myself.
“I’m staying with Stormclaw.”
“You can’t help him,” Iain said. His voice was kind, but I couldn’t escape his meaning. My being here was making things worse. Stormclaw didn’t want me here. I hung my head and let my arms drop by my side.
Leo pressed his lips together in a half-hearted smile.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get him sorted. See you later, druid girl.”
I nodded in reply, and traipsed back to the castle with Iain at my side. Neither of us spoke until we were back inside, and when the doors shut behind us, I turned for the accommodation wing.
“Where are you going?” Iain asked.
“Back to my dorm. I need to pack.”
“Pack for what?” he asked, blocking my path.
“Are you going to make me spell it out? Fine.” I folded my arms and avoided his eye. “I’m leaving. I don’t belong here. Everyone can see it. Even Stormclaw.”
“Is this because of what the shifter said?”
“His name is Leo. And no.” I chewed my lower lip. “Maybe. Okay, fine, so what if it is? You heard him. Something inside me is rotten. I shouldn’t be here.”
“I heard him say something smelled rotten. I didn’t hear him say you were rotten.”
“Semantics,” I grumbled. “Anyway, he’s too polite to say that.”
“Oh, okay, so you’re just going to quit the first time things get hard then, are you? Maybe Killian was right about you.”
“The first time?” I gawked at him. “Have you been paying attention for the last two months? Anything that could go wrong for me has gone wrong. The familiars run from me. My combat magic sucks. I’m behind in Law, and I can’t even hold on to my place on the Itealta team. Half the people here hate me, and the other half are just waiting to see me screw up. And even my spellcrafting is a joke.”
“And yet, you haven’t left yet.”
“Yet.”
I put my hand on my hip.
“I’m leaving, Iain.”
He shrugged and stepped aside. “No-one’s stopping you. You’re right. Xavier and his friends will be much happier once you’re gone.”
That gave me pause, and Iain didn’t waste it.
“Or,” he said, “you can come with me to the familiamancy hall, and we work you through a trance and try to find out the cause of whatever your wolf friend is smelling.”
“Cause?” I asked, quietly.
“Well, I don’t think it’s whatever you ate yesterday, so we should probably find out what it is, don’t you think?”
He gestured his arm towards the familiamancy hall, and I hesitated again.
“What if… what if it’s true, what Killian and Xavier say about me? What if that’s what Leo smelled?”
“That’s what you’re scared of – that you’re a coward?”
I slumped back against the wall with a groan. “Who other than a coward would be scared of finding out they’re a coward? I’m such a disaster.”
Iain laughed. “Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you can smell cowardice, and I don’t think a coward would have stuck around this long. And I know a coward wouldn’t be coming to my familiamancy hall right now.”
He clamped his hands firmly on my shoulders and turned me to face the familiamancy hall.
I sucked in a deep breath, and nodded.
“Okay.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Close your eyes, and listen to the sound of my voice.”
I was laid out flat on the floor in the familiamancy hall, trying to ignore the dust and dirt of a few hundred pairs of boots returning from Tàthadh Forest, because I was a druid, and we wer
en’t supposed to care about things like that. But I couldn’t quite shake the thought that I was going to have to wash my cloak when all of this was done, and I really hated doing laundry. Plus, these cloaks were a nightmare to wash. I should have taken it off before I laid down.
“Focus, Lyssa,” Iain urged.
I drew in one slow breath, then another, then another, slowing the rhythm of my breathing and letting my body relax. And as my body started to relax, so did my mind. I felt the familiar sensation of a fog settling over to me, and Iain’s words seemed to come from a great distance as he talked me into the trance.
“Feel yourself sinking deeper. Let the waves of calm wash over you…”
There were few sensations as peaceful as being in a trance. So peaceful, in fact, that druids inexperienced in trancework always had a guide with them to help take them in and bring them out again. Otherwise, the lure to remain in the trance could be dangerous, tempting people to stay in them for days at a time without food or water.
I caught the distraction flitting through my mind, and released it, letting the fog seep through my skin and ease all the tension out of my muscles, until I was floating on a wave of calm.
“Feel your consciousness flowing through your body. Let it move from behind your eyes, down through your chest, and into your stomach, following your chakras.”
I let myself drift from my third eye to my throat, and then on to my heart chakra. It was the strangest sensation, as if I was swimming through my own body, or floating, maybe. It was effortless – just a thought was enough to send me floating through myself. I moved on, down to the energy centre in my solar plexus.
The sensation of peace vanished. A chill ran over my skin, inside my skin, inside my very bones and my consciousness. I gasped, cold sweat beading on my forehead, and I shrank back. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. There was something lurking inside me, and it would destroy me. I could sense it. I forced myself on.
The yellow chakra was stained and dirtied. A pulsing black energy surrounded it, swirling around it and seeping out, spreading through me and tainting me one drop of blood at a time.
My eyes flew open, yanking me from the trance state, and I sat bolt upright, breathing so hard and fast that my lungs burned and my head spun.
“Easy.” Iain was crouching next to me, one hand on my back, supporting me. “Try to take slow breaths. That’s it.”
Once my breathing was under control, or at least, as under control as it was likely to get for the moment, Iain moved away, then reappeared a moment later with a glass of water. I took it with a nod of thanks, then proceeded to spill half of it down my front.
Iain took the glass back from me and held it to my lips. It was a long minute before he spoke.
“What did you see?” he asked.
“I…” I took a breath, and swallowed bile as I recalled the horrific sensation leaking from the black swirling mass. There weren’t words to describe it, but I tried to find some, anyway. “There’s a darkness. Inside me.”
I jerked my eyes up to meet Iain’s.
“There’s something wrong with me. Something really wrong.”
And I knew, instinctively, that this was the reason that the familiars shunned me. This was the reason Stormclaw and the other gryffs wouldn’t come near me. And I didn’t feel one jot of relief, because this… thing… this darkness, it wanted to infect every inch of me, and I didn’t know how to stop it.
I didn’t know if it could be stopped.
“We’re going to fix this. Tell me more about it.”
So I did. Words seemed inadequate, but I conveyed what I’d seen, what I’d felt, as best I could. It was as much a list of adjectives as anything. Fear. Hatred. Power. Stained. Tainted. Corrupted.
Rotten.
Leo hadn’t been wrong. Something was rotting inside me, and it was spreading.
“I want you to go back to your dorm, Lyssa.”
“What?”
“Get some sleep. We’ll talk more about this in the morning.”
I staggered to my feet, staring at him. He watched me warily, like he was waiting for my legs to give out under me, which made two of us, but somehow they didn’t.
“You think I’m going to be able to sleep? Knowing I’ve got this… thing inside me?”
“Your body needs rest. Coming out of a trance like that can be damaging. You need to give yourself time to recover.”
I could feel that his words were true. Not just from the burning that was still fading from my lungs, but in the bone-deep weariness that made even the thought of walking back to my dorm impossible.
“Then what?” I asked, my voice small. Tired.
“Then I’m going to talk to Elias and see if he’s heard of anything like this before.”
I swallowed, processing that. “You don’t know what it is, either?”
He shook his head. “But there are plenty more experienced druids here than me. More powerful druids. We’ll get to the bottom of it, I promise. Now please, go and get some rest so I can stop waiting for you to collapse in a heap.”
He gave me an amused smile, but I could see the truth of the words in his eyes. I nodded, and shuffled towards the door. It was a long walk back to my dorm.
*
I ached from head to toe the following morning, but I forced myself from my bed and dragged myself down to the canteen, where I saw Zara and Kyle in the breakfast line. They waved me over and I ignored the glares from the guys behind me because I was hungry as a werewolf, and frankly I had bigger things to worry about than the cool kids at the academy not liking me.
“What happened to you last night?” Zara said. “You were dead to the world when I got back to our dorm.”
Kyle elbowed her, and she shot him a dirty look.
“How’s Stormclaw?” he asked. “Silas wouldn’t let us out of the academy to see how his treatment was going.”
Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten that the whole place had been on lockdown because of my gryff. I guess the guys behind me weren’t just annoyed about me cutting the line.
“We should talk.” I glanced back over my shoulder. “But not here.”
I stepped up to the counter, wished Clara a good morning, and got a breakfast muffin and a coffee to go. Zara and Kyle shared confused looks, but did the same, and I led the three of us outside in silence.
December was coming, but the sun was shining and the air, though crisp, wasn’t cold. At least, not when you had a grubby cloak and a coffee. I made for the trio of fallen tree trunks that served as benches, and sat on one, carefully balancing my coffee beside me. I open the muffin and went to take a bite, only to realise that my appetite had gone. I set it down next to the drink.
“So…” Zara said after a long moment. “Is Stormclaw okay, or isn’t he?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t. I hadn’t even been down to the paddocks this morning. I couldn’t face dragging myself down there, only for him to turn and run again. Not now that I knew what he was running from. “I, uh, well, the leighlann was with him last night. He still doesn’t want to know me.”
“So you’re hiding?” Zara asked.
“No, I’m not hi– Well, okay, maybe I’m hiding a little. But it’s not just that.” I wrapped my hands around my coffee cup and picked at the cardboard. Zara and Kyle were my best friends here at Krakenvale, and I wanted to trust them. I also didn’t want to have them run screaming when they discovered there was some sort of black rotting mass inside me that might or might not want to take over my entire body and erase who I was.
“Spill it,” Zara said, leaning forward to put her elbows on her knees while nibbling at a slice of toast. Kyle, sipping from his cup, nodded his agreement.
“Promise you won’t run away screaming?”
“I don’t scream,” Zara said.
“I don’t run,” Kyle said.
I looked from one to the other, then nodded and turned my eyes back to my coffee cup.
“There’s so
mething wrong with me. Leo smelled it–”
“Who’s Leo?” Zara interrupted, and Kyle glared at her.
“A shifter,” I said. “It’s a long story. Anyway, he smelled something wrong with me, something magic, and Iain took me into a trance. I, uh, I found it. Something dark corrupting my fifth chakra, and it’s spreading. Growing.”
The words rolled around in my head, tugging at something. I’d heard them before, somewhere. Growing. I was sure of it.
“What does it mean?” Kyle said. I shook my head.
“I don’t know. Iain doesn’t know. Maybe no-one does. He said he needs to talk to more powerful druids.”
Powerful druids. The sense of déjà vu nagged at me again, but Zara’s laughter broke through, distracting me from my thoughts. I turned my hurt look to her, and she palmed a tear from her eye.
“Glad I could amuse you,” I snapped. I grabbed my uneaten food and scrambled to my feet. Zara grabbed my arm.
“Lyssa, wait. I’m sorry.” She tried to straighten her face, but another laugh bubbled out of her lips before she cut it off. “It’s just… Come on. A darkness. Inside you? You’re the least dark person I know.”
“I am?”
She tugged on my sleeve, and I sank back onto the bench.
“Come on,” Kyle said. “You’re hanging out with a pair of rejects, and you’re upset because your favourite gryff doesn’t want to hang out with you. How could you possibly think you’re evil?”
“Yeah,” Zara agreed. “You didn’t even hex Xavier, for crying out loud. You have to be the worst dark druid I’ve ever met.”
Dark druid. Powerful. Growing.
“Oh, my God.” I grabbed Zara’s arm and squeezed, my heart racing.
“Ow!”
“That’s it. Don’t you see?”
“All I see,” she said, tugging her arm from my grip, “is a bruise forming.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. But I think I know what the darkness is.”
“Hey!”
All three of us twisted round to look at the figure stalking towards us. Her step faltered a little as she saw Zara and Kyle sitting on either side of me, but then Paisley squared her jaw and marched right up to us.
“Paisley, what are you–”
Familiar Magic (Druid Enforcer Academy Book 1) Page 12
