by Jade Alters
“Chase will be expected at work tomorrow. I heard Clay say you have this week off, that's what made me think of you.”
“Right, that and the fact that I never say no to you. Where will they think I am all week?”
“Running in the woods. You know they don't keep tabs on us on our days off. You don't have to stay all week...just a few days. Just find out if she's thinking about me, or talking about me. Find out if she hates me, or if there might still be a chance....Come on buddy. You're the right color and your eyes are blue...they'll believe you're a dog, a husky or whatever.”
“Thanks, it's nice to know I look like a dog.”
He growled a little and said, “Okay, never mind. I'm sorry I asked. I have to get back. The police are still combing through the scene and asking questions. I'm so fucking tired. We were here all night Friday, most of the day yesterday and they called us back out first thing this morning. Maybe I just need to sleep. maybe I'm just not thinking straight.” I thought he was finished and then he said, “I just ache for her, Gray. I can't even describe it. It's hard to breathe.”
Damn it.
A surge of guilt washed over me.
Ridge has never had anyone. He was told to watch me and for years, that's what he did, alone in the woods. He raised me, he kept me safe, and he never left me to go looking for a mate or a new pack.
If Chelsea and the other alphas had wanted him and not me when they found us, Ridge would have refused to go with them, I know it in my heart. Now he has a chance to be happy, and I can help him, but I'm refusing because I'm afraid of getting into trouble. I'm not a pup anymore. I guess it's time to start acting like the adult wolf and human I am.
“Ridge, wait. I'll go.” There was a long pause and I thought maybe he'd already hung up. Finally he said,
“Really?”
“Yeah, I'll do it.”
“If you're worried about getting into trouble...”
“I am, but I owe you my life. Being afraid of a little trouble makes me feel like a coward and I don't want to feel that way.”
“Thank you, Gray. I promise, if somehow they find out, I'll take all responsibility.” We ended the call and I thought about what he said. I didn't doubt Ridge would step up because that's just who he is. But he and I both know that's not how it works in the pack. Each man or woman is responsible for his or her own actions. I knew what I was doing could get me into a lot of trouble and if I got caught, the responsibility for making that decision would be on me. Period.
8
Grayson
Surga doesn't have any big department stores or chain grocery stores where I could go and discreetly make a purchase. I was going to have to go straight to the vet's office to do this, and I hated going there.
In any other town that wouldn't even be an option on Sunday...but our vet was open seven days a week, and even on holidays.
I walk by the office all the time, but I had only been inside once, with Chelsea about six months ago. We had found a cat and honestly, I'd tried to eat it.
Chelsea stopped me, reminding me that we were more than animals. The cat was domesticated and on the blue collar he wore around his neck was a tag that included the name “Hank” and an address.
She said some child was probably crying herself to sleep at night, looking for her cat. Chelsea grew up human, so she knew more about these things than I did. I wouldn't argue with Chelsea even if I thought I knew more, I had too much respect for her than that.
Anyways, Chelsea and I took the cat to the address but the house was empty.
The neighbor told us they had recently moved. So, Chelsea's next stop was the vet's office. She was going to take the cat in, but about that time, baby Jack began to cry. He was only a few months old at that time and Chelsea was breast feeding him.
I left her to feed him and I went inside.
The smell of the place was overwhelming for a wolf, or maybe to everyone, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that there were things in the air that made me cycle from hungry, to aggressive to horny in a matter of seconds. I could hear the dogs barking out back before I even went inside, and I hated thinking about them being in cages. I know I couldn't survive being caged in. On the other hand, dogs don’t usually like us. They can smell our wolf and it makes most of them aggressive, so I was safer with them in cages I suppose.
Apparently, they have some kind of “chip” they plant into domestic animals so the vet can scan them, like a grocery item, to find out where they live.
When they scanned him, his old address came up, but there was a note in the computer about him getting lost and a new address.
A little girl got her cat back...so the trip was worth it. Of course that didn't make it any easier to go inside this time.
The bells jangled as I pushed the door open and a lady at the reception desk looked up and smiled. I made myself smile back and hoped my voice wouldn't crack from nerves when I spoke.
“Um, yeah. I got a new puppy and I was looking for one of those machines where I could make a tag for him, in case he got lost or something.”
“Oh yes, we have one of those,” she pointed to the far corner of the waiting room, right next to where a big ass German Shepard sat with his owner. The dog's brown eyes were already on me. His ears were standing straight up and he was growling low in his throat.
“Oh, okay, thank you.”
“The best thing to do for the long run would be to bring him in for his vaccinations and have him chipped.” I was glad I already knew what that meant. I smiled and nodded and said,
“I intend to, thanks. I'm just on my break from work now, but when I figure out my schedule, I'll call for an appointment.”
“Good,” she said, smiling brightly. “We can also schedule the neutering at the same time, if you're planning on having him fixed.”
Ouch. I felt an ache in my loins.
I'm glad wolves don't get domesticated.
If they take my balls, they may as well just take the rest of me with them.
I had to work hard to force the next smile. I nodded, thanked her again and tried not to hold my crotch protectively as I walked toward the machine. I heard the German Shepherd growl and her owner say, “Oh hush, Ellie. What's wrong with you? We don't growl at people, it's rude.”
I smiled at the lady, that only seemed to piss the dog off more and the hair on her neck and back rose higher, his ears pinned back and he stood up straight on all fours and began to bark. I could tell the lady was doing her best to hold the dog back and I wasn't sure how long she would be able to, since the dog looked like it outweighed her by about fifty pounds.
With a hand that was shaking because I was trying so hard to move fast, I picked the first tag that popped up when I touched the screen.
It was shaped like a dog bone.
Next, I entered the name “Gray.” Then the address.
It was the address that Ridge had texted me, the address of Cheyenne's apartment complex.
She lived in apartment 4.
I didn't ask him how he knew exactly where she lived and he didn't tell me. Anyways, on my tags, I just left off the apartment number.
I fed money into the slot and waited for the little tag to finish engraving.
The German shepherd was going insane and the lady was sweating.
The tag popped out at last and I looked at it and then tucked it into my pocket before walking in a wide circle around the German shepherd and smiling at the receptionist as I passed the window. I let out a breath I'd been holding as soon as I walked out the door.
The island was small, thank goodness, because I walked everywhere I went.
The pack has two cars that we're all allowed to use for groceries, business, or appointments. But, I didn't think this would qualify for any of that.
My next stop was a little hardware store where I bought a dog collar to put the tag on, and once I had that, I headed toward the address Ridge gave me.
It was Saturday, late morning and I wondered wha
t I was supposed to do if she wasn't home.
I didn't want to call Ridge again so I decided to wing it. I walked until the buildings of the little town began to disappear behind me. Once I was in a secluded area, I ducked into some trees and bushes. I slid the tag onto the collar and lay it down on the grass while I stripped off my clothes, and shifted. I left the clothes, but picked the collar up in my teeth and using the back roads that encircled the town, I ran until I was on the other side of the island, rolled in the dirt so that I hopefully looked more like a stray dog than a wolf and then found a comfortable spot underneath the steps that Cheyenne would have to walk up to get to her apartment.
Cheyenne
I parked my car and looked up at the apartment building.
It was funny to think that just a few short weeks ago, I was happy. Now, I just felt like I was going through the motions. I used to be lonely from time to time, I guess everyone gets that way sometimes.
For the most part, I was content and I was sure that when the time was right, I'd meet some nice young man and we'd get married, have a family...you know, normal stuff.
Then, I met Ridge, and now not only could I not stop thinking about him, but I felt guilty for thinking about him.
I felt weird, like there was something wrong with me for wanting a man who would take me and hold me captive. Sometimes, mostly late at night when I was really lonely, I'd start making excuses for him. I'd tell myself that yes, he did take me, but he didn't hurt me. He didn't rape me. He had plenty of opportunity, had he wanted to do anything awful to me, and he didn't. Then I'd remind myself that he did drug me, and drugging and kidnapping a woman because you “want” them, isn't normal.
But Ridge isn't normal, and that white wolf, Chelsea, tried to explain to me that Ridge had grown up wild, not quite human, I suppose. So, he thought what he was doing was normal...but was that really an excuse? Am I pathetic for trying to find one for him? I have no idea...but all of it was making me feel as if I was losing my mind.
I sighed and got out of the car. I grabbed my yoga bag from the back seat. Myrna usually does yoga with me on Sunday mornings, but she had a family thing to go to in Bali today. Bonnie always spent Sundays with her grandmother, so at least today I'd have some time to myself and they wouldn't be around to stare at me like I might break. I crossed the parking lot and was almost to the stairs when the sight of fur caught my eye. Something white and gray was laying under the stairs. It sort of looked like a dog, but it was bigger and it was really dirty. I stopped, afraid to approach the stairs with him lying underneath it.
Was he lying in .. wait.
The dog lifted his head and looked at me. He didn't look aggressive, at least not in that moment. He was holding something in his teeth. It looked like it might be his collar. I wondered if someone was looking for him. I said a silent prayer that it wouldn't attack me as I slowly approached it. I've never had a dog, and there aren't that many of them on the island.
Talking in low, sweet tones I said, “Hey guy. What are you doing under there? Where are you supposed to be?”
The dog's eyes were light blue, almost clear. I'd never seen eyes like that before, but they were beautiful. He wasn't growling at me, or making any kind of aggressive moves, so I got a little closer, squat down and put my hand out so that he could smell it. When he did, he opened his mouth and let the collar with the tag on it, fall at my feet. I scratched him under his chin and he lifted it and closed his eyes like he liked it. With the other hand I reached down and picked up the collar. It said his name was Gray and the apartment complex address was imprinted on the tag...but there was no apartment number.
“Gray, huh? So, you live here?”
He didn't answer me, of course. I looked around me.
There were fifty apartments in our complex. Only about half of them were occupied, but knocking on 25 doors could still be time consuming. Yet, I couldn't just leave him there. What if he got into the parking lot and got ran over? I would feel horrible. My eyes fell on apartment number one, the super's apartment. If anyone knew who owned a dog here, it would be him. I stood up and the dog immediately came out from underneath the steps and stood next to me. I smiled and reached down and pet him again. He was so soft. He was big too, now that I saw him on all fours. He nearly came up to my waist. I didn't know much about dogs, but I thought this one was a husky or a malamute. They were normally arctic dogs and I wondered what the heck he was doing on a tropical island.
“Come on Gray, let's see if we can figure out where you belong.”
The dog wagged his tail and followed me over to the super's apartment. I knocked on the door and Mr. Balik's door.
I was still learning about the Balinese.
Myrna told me he wasn't really Mr. Balik. His name was Wayan Balik...which meant, “Wayan again.” Eldest boys are named Wayan and there are names for second, third and fourth sons. The fifth one starts it all over, and that was Mr. Balik.
I snickered at the thought of me calling him “Mr. Again,” but the American in me couldn't help it.
It was Mr. this or Mrs. That in my world.
Mr. Balik opened the door with a big smile on his face. I had lived there for over six months now, and I never saw him when he wasn't smiling. He was only about five foot tall and his skin was olive colored. His eyes and hair were jet black and no matter what time of day you knocked on his door, he was always perfectly groomed, like he was waiting for company.
“Miss Cheyenne,” he said, “How are you?” He enunciated his English words precisely. The accent was still there, but his words were perfect.
I smiled back at him and said, “I'm good, thank you...”
“You have a dog!”
“Well no. I found him, under the stairs. He has this collar,” I said, holding it out to Mr. Balik. He squinted at it and I said, “It's the address of the complex but no apartment number. I was hoping you might know who he belongs to?”
He shook his head and looked perplexed. “The only people who had a dog here moved out about two months ago. I don't think they had such a big dog though.”
“You never saw their dog?”
He shook his head again. “No. They paid a pet deposit but no, I never saw the dog. I think it was a small dog though, it lived inside.”
“I hope they didn't forget him. Maybe he got scared when they were moving and ran off. Do you have any way to reach them?”
“No. No forwarding address.”
“Dang. I'm not sure what to do with him. Is there an animal control on the island?”
“No, just the veterinarian. Maybe you could take him there.” The dog started nudging my leg, like he was trying to nudge me away from the apartment door. I laughed and said,
“I don't think he likes that idea.” I pet him again and he looked up at me and I swear he was smiling. “Mr. Balik, would it be okay if I kept him just for a few days and put up posters to try and find his owner?” The little man laughed and my face was suddenly on fire when he said,
“Just like the posters up for you!”
I forced a laugh. “Yeah, like those.”
He waved a hand at me and said, “Sure, sure. You're a good tenant. Just make sure he doesn't bite nobody.”
“I will. Thank you.”
He went back inside and I looked at Gray and said, “I guess you're staying with me for a few days.”
He smiled again and wagged his tail.
I smiled back. Maybe he'd help me with my loneliness.
He followed me up the stairs and as soon as I unlocked the door and opened it, he walked inside, like he owned the place.
I smiled and followed him in, tossing his collar and my keys on the counter.
I put my hands on my hips and said, “I have to apologize, I don't know a thing about dogs. Are you hungry?” As if he understood the question, he got excited and ran over to the refrigerator, wagging his tail.
I laughed.
“Okay, let's see what we have here.” I opened it and picked o
ut some leftover chicken and pasta. “Myrna made this, it was pretty good. Well, not really, but maybe since you're a dog, you'll like it, huh?”
Myrna wasn't the best cook, but she tried and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I choked it down.
Maybe the dog can help me out there too.
I put it in a plastic bowl and sat it on the floor. Then I filled another bowl with water and put it on the floor too.
Gray sniffed at it, but he didn't take a bite.
“I'm sorry. I guess you don't like it either? Tell you what, let me shower and I'll run to the store and get some dog food, okay?”
Again, he didn't answer me.
I rubbed his soft head and headed for the bathroom.
When he started to follow, I said, “Oh no, Mr. No boys allowed in the bathroom or bedroom. I'll be right back, okay?” I'm not sure why I kept saying okay like I expected him to say it back, but he sat down in the hallway and didn't try to follow me any further. As I gathered my things for my shower I realized I felt happier already. Maybe I didn't need a man. Maybe all I needed all along was a dog, or a therapist. I laughed out loud and decided that yes, the therapist might be a good idea.
9
Grayson
I waited for the shower to come on and then I shifted. I started to pick up the bowl of chicken and pasta and remembered suddenly that she had a roommate. It would probably not be good for her to walk in and find a naked man in the kitchen. I went over and locked the door and then picked up the bowl and stuck it in the microwave. I might look like a dog, and yes, I've been known to eat road kill when times got hard...but, I was human enough these days that I wasn't about to eat cold food out of a bowl on the floor.
That was funny, actually.
All I knew about being human, the Pack had taught me over the past year. Ridge helped too...some.
Before times got desperate for our old pack, Ridge was old enough to go into town and hang out with the humans...girls mostly. He had always had a penchant for the human girls.
