by M A Comley
“Does that piece have my name on it?” Kayli asked hopefully.
“It does. Would you like a nice cup of fresh coffee to go with it?” her mother asked.
“You read my mind. Not sure what I would have done without your help tonight.”
“These things are sent to try us, love. It’s all good now… well, not quite, but you get my drift.” Her mother ruffled Bobby’s hair. “Eat up, little one. Is it nice?”
His eyes sparkled, and he nodded enthusiastically as he guided a heaped teaspoonful into his gaping mouth.
With Bobby less stressed out, Kayli’s thoughts shifted to Annabelle and Giles. She was tempted to ring her brother to see how things were going, but she knew that was a bad idea so soon.
Once Bobby had finished his glass of milk and licked the plate clean of his cheesecake, he willingly kissed everyone goodnight and left the room with his grandmother.
“His bedtime stories are in the rucksack at the bottom of the stairs, Mum,” Kayli called out.
Her father chuckled. “My guess is that little boy will be sound asleep within minutes after eating that huge dessert. He seemed to enjoy it, bless him.”
“He did. It must have been so confusing for him to wake up and find me there in his room.”
“I think it would unsettle me too,” her father joked. “Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about? Something that you’d rather keep from your mother?”
“Not really. You know how much I hate secrets.”
Her father raised his eyebrows, and she flinched.
“Okay, maybe that was silly, me saying that after keeping you both out of the loop while Giles and I took off on our travels.”
“You could say that. I take it this little chat is about the job I found for Mark. Am I right?”
Kayli inhaled a large breath and let it out slowly before she replied, “I’m really grateful, Dad. I don’t want this to sound as if I’m not, but heck! A bouncer at a nightclub?”
“It’s an honest day’s job, love. What’s wrong with it? Has Mark complained?”
Her cheeks warmed under his gaze. “No. If you must know, he rang me on the way over here and said he thought he was going to enjoy his new job.”
“So where does the problem lie, then? With you?”
Her gaze dropped to the table. “Maybe it’s me being selfish… I don’t know. Put yourself in my shoes. I usually get home around six thirty, sometimes seven thirty, depending on how my day has gone and what the traffic is like on the way home. That means I’ll get little time with Mark before he has to leave for work. We’ll be on opposite shifts all the time. Not only that, when he comes in at three or four in the morning, you can be sure my sleep will get disturbed. He’s like an elephant stomping around the bedroom when he gets up to have a wee during the night.”
Her father laughed. “I really don’t want to know the ins and outs of your husband’s nightly bathroom routine, love.”
“Sorry. I was simply sharing how I envisage things playing out when he gets home at all hours. You know what I’m like if I don’t get my eight hours’ sleep. I need all my concentration for work. It’s going to be hard getting back to sleep once he comes home from work.”
“I think you’re blowing things out of proportion, darling. Why don’t you give it a week to see how things pan out? Perhaps you can start going to bed earlier.”
“Why should I alter my routine to fit in with his new job?”
“Marriage is all about compromises, Kayli. You have a lot to learn if you haven’t figured that one out by now.”
Kayli twisted her mug of coffee on the table until her father placed his hand over hers. “Sorry. I suppose you’re right. Will you do me a favour, though, Dad?”
He tilted his head. “What’s that, love?”
“Keep your eye open for another job for him, maybe one that coincides with my shifts.”
“I’ll do my best for you both. Although this time next year, I bet you’ll be begging me to find him a job on the other side of the world again.”
Kayli laughed and shook her head. “No way! I never want him stepping foot outside the country again, not unless it’s with me on a holiday.”
“I can understand that, love.”
Kayli’s mother entered the room, looking as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Everything all right, Mum?”
“With Bobby, yes. He went straight off before I’d even read half a page to him. It’s Annabelle I’m concerned about. What if she loses the baby?”
A dark cloud appeared to descend on the room. “I know. I keep thinking the same. I feel so guilty too.”
“Why on earth should you feel guilty, love?” her mother demanded, reaching for Kayli’s hand.
“If I hadn’t dragged Giles out to Afghanistan with me, the baby probably would be all right now.”
Her mother shook her head adamantly. “That’s you being daft. This has nothing to do with that, Kayli. From day one, Annabelle has been unwell during her pregnancy. Sometimes we have to listen to our bodies. Not all babies go full term. If she loses it, then there must have been something wrong with the child. The body sometimes rejects something that doesn’t feel right. Maybe it’s for the best.”
She had never heard her mother talk that way before. How could she be so dismissive of the child Annabelle was carrying? Searching her mother’s eyes, she discovered a pain lurking there that she’d never noticed before.
“What are you trying to say, Mum? Has this happened to you?”
A sad look passed between her mother and her father.
Kayli slumped back in her chair, devastated for her parents. “When?”
Large tears brimmed in her mother’s eyes before one fell onto her right cheek. She swiped it away. “Years ago. Actually, it was between you and Giles. I was sick from the get-go with that child. I lost the baby before the twelve weeks.”
Kayli gasped. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell us?”
Her mother shrugged. “Your father and I thought it would be better to move on with our lives and promised that we would never look back in any form of regret. We had you and your brother, so we were lucky. Some people out there aren’t that fortunate, love. They go through miscarriage after miscarriage, hoping to hold a baby in their arms, without success. Let’s not discuss this until we know for certain what the prognosis is.”
“Annabelle seemed pretty sure that she’d lost it, Mum. She was as white as a sheet when I arrived.”
“That doesn’t sound good, then. They’ll both need our support over the coming weeks.”
The three of them sat there in silence for the next twenty minutes, until Kayli’s phone rang. The caller ID told her it was her brother ringing. She swallowed then answered. “Hello, Giles, any news?”
“It’s gone, Kayli. Annabelle has lost the baby.”
“No! Oh, Giles, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say other than that. My heart goes out to you both. I’m at Mum and Dad’s. Let me put Mum on.”
“What? Why? Where’s Bobby?” he asked frantically.
“He’s here. Bobby woke up inconsolable, and I couldn’t settle him down, so I had to call in reinforcements. Do you want me to come to the hospital to be with you?”
“I see. Is Bobby all right now? No, don’t come here. Annabelle has been given a sedative, and she’s sleepy now.”
“Bobby is sound asleep. I’ll put the phone on speaker.” Kayli nodded for her mother to speak to him.
“Hello, dear. Your father and I are so sorry. Is Annabelle all right?”
Her brother broke down in tears. “We’re both devastated, Mum. I’m not sure she’ll get over this. I know we didn’t plan this pregnancy, but in the last few weeks, she’s been making plans to decorate the nursery again.”
“It’ll be hard for her to cope to begin with, darling. Of course it will. Just remain strong for her, as she’ll be relying on you more than ever to say the right things when she needs to hear them.”
Kayli’s mother reached across the table and grasped her father’s hands until her knuckles turned white.
“I know, Mum. I’ll always be there for her… at least I will be from now on.”
Kayli flinched. Is he referring to our trip? I know I’d feel bitter about it if I were in his shoes. I’m feeling enough guilt for both of us at the moment as it is. If only I hadn’t forced his hand into coming with me, perhaps the baby would have survived. Tears dripped onto her cheek.
“Send Annabelle our love and give her a gentle hug from us. Keep us informed, son. We love you both.”
“I will. Speak to you later.” Giles hung up without saying he loved his mother back, and that was unheard of from him.
Kayli broke down in tears. “This is down to me and my selfish behaviour. If I hadn’t forced Giles to go out there with me, this wouldn’t have happened,” she mumbled through the sobs.
Her mother left her chair and pulled Kayli to her feet. She hugged her gently and whispered, “This isn’t like you, love. You mustn’t blame yourself. These things happen from time to time, and no one knows why. But it’s certainly not because of any stress you might have caused Annabelle. You must get that out of your head. Do you hear me?”
Sniffling, Kayli dried her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket and gazed into her mother’s tearful eyes. “I know you’re only saying this to make me feel better, and it’s not going to shift either the guilt or the hurt that are tearing me apart inside, Mum.”
“That hurt and guilt will dissipate over time. I promise you.”
“Your mother is right, Kayli. No one is going to blame you for this, not even Giles and Annabelle. You mark my words on that one. They may be a bit different once they’re home, only because they’ll be grieving the little one, but you mustn’t take that personally. You hear me?”
“It’s a little hard not to take all of this personally, Dad, when Mark and I were at the centre of the problem in the first place.”
“Just give it time. Listen to me. If either Giles or Annabelle blamed you in any way, do you really think you would be the first person they rang to look after Bobby? No, they wouldn’t. Now stop being silly. Grieve for the baby like all of us but don’t allow that grief to be tinged with guilt.”
Kayli’s gaze drifted between her parents, who shared another secret look between them. “I can’t promise. I’ll definitely try my best, though.”
Her mother kissed her on the cheek. “Good girl. Look, why don’t I make up a spare bed for you, so you can stay the night here with us?”
“That’s kind, Mum. I think I’d rather go home, if it’s all the same to you. Shall I take Bobby with me?”
“No, he’s better off staying put here. He’s asleep now, and it seems a shame to disturb him.”
“Would you mind if I go home? It’s been a trying day.”
Her mother shook her head and brushed away Kayli’s tears. “You go. You’ve had a shock. Everything will look much clearer in a few days, love.”
“I hope you’re right, Mum. Thanks for understanding. I’m sorry you’ve experienced the same loss and grief over the years as Giles and Annabelle are going through right now.”
Her mother shrugged. “It’s called life, love. The terrible traumas we go through make us stronger. You of all people should understand that after your recent adventure.”
“I do. We have to grasp each day and treat it as a gift. If you’re sure about Bobby, I’ll set off, then. I’ll ring Giles when I get home, make him aware of the situation. Thank you both. We’d be lost without you guys to fall back on.”
Her father stepped forward to hug her. “That’s what family are for, to call on each other when help is needed. Go home and get some rest.”
Kayli sprinted upstairs to poke her head in the spare room to see if Bobby was still asleep. A gentle snore was coming from his bed, and he had his head tucked under the quilt. She smiled and went downstairs again. “He’s sound asleep. I’ll ring you in the morning. Love you both, and thank you again for being the best parents in the world.”
The three of them shared a group hug before Kayli left the house. She waved at her mum and dad then left the drive. She was distracted by her dark, gloomy thoughts all the way home. She parked in a space close to her house and locked the car.
Kayli had time to pour herself a much-needed glass of red wine before her phone rang. It was Mark. “Hello, you. How are things going there?”
“Really well. It’s just a quick one to see how things are with Giles and Annabelle.”
“Not good. They lost the baby.”
“Shit! That’s bad luck. I was wondering if it had anything to do with the stress we put them through a few weeks ago.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength. Mum and Dad assured me that I’m daft to think that way. Things like this happen more often than we think, according to Mum, who revealed she had a miscarriage herself years ago.”
“What? And she didn’t tell you?”
“No. Hey, we’ll talk about it later. You better go.”
“Yep, I hear you. I’m getting the evil eye here.”
“See you later.”
“Kayli, keep your chin up. I love you. They’ll get through this. I promise you.”
“I hope so.” Kayli ended the call and sat on the sofa in the dark for the next few hours, revisiting the dangers they had endured in the past month or so and the subsequent consequences of their actions.
She must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing she knew, Mark was lifting her in his arms and carrying her up to bed.
“What time is it?” she asked sleepily.
“Almost three thirty, my sleeping beauty.”
He placed her gently on the bed, and she didn’t remember anything else until her alarm went off at seven. The noise confused her at first. Mark reached across her and hit the clock with his fist. He hovered over her and looked down, sweeping back the hair covering her face.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, brushing his lips against hers.
“Like my head and my body belong to someone else. Crap, are we really going to be able to cope with our shift patterns being opposite to each other?”
“We will. We’ll get used to it.”
She pulled back the quilt to find herself still fully clothed. “Shit! I’ll have to send this suit to the cleaners now.”
“I didn’t have the heart to disturb you more than necessary last night.”
“No problem. Try and go back to sleep. I’ll have a quick shower and shoot off. I’ll get changed in the spare room so I don’t make any unnecessary noise.”
“I’m fine. I can sleep anywhere at any time. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Well, don’t. We’ll get through this. It’s a minor inconvenience compared to what some people are going through.”
“You’re right.” He kissed her then rolled over. “See you later. Ring me during the day if you get the chance.”
“I will. Sleep well.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
The team were already hard at work when Kayli entered the incident room.
“Crikey, you look like death warmed up. Heavy night on the vino with your mates last night?” Dave quipped as soon as he laid eyes on her.
Kayli glared at him and shook her head. “If you must know, there was a death in the family last night.” Her tone was much harsher than she’d intended, and as soon as the words left her lips, she regretted saying them. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. Let me have a coffee, and I’ll explain later.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea,” Dave mumbled.
She passed his desk on the way to the vending machine and touched his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have snapped like that. It should be me dishing out the apologies.”
Kayli bought a coffee and slipped into her office, anything to avoid the looks of sympathy emanating from her team. Damn, yet more guilt to add to the amount I’m already carrying on my shoulders.
She buried herself
in paperwork for the next hour or so until Dave poked his head into the room.
“Come in and take a seat.”
“I just wanted to apologise for my cock-up earlier.”
Kayli smiled. “No need. You couldn’t have known.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Annabelle lost the baby last night.”
“No, that’s rough. I’m so sorry. Were you at the hospital until all hours?”
“No. Giles rang me to look after Bobby while he went to the hospital with Annabelle. I suck at babysitting kids. Bobby woke up and was broken-hearted to find his parents weren’t there. I panicked and called my mum and dad. Dad came to fetch him, and Bobby slept there the night. Damn, I should have rung them first thing to see how he is.”
Dave struggled to stand and walked towards the door. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“I appreciate that, Dave. I’ll be out shortly.” As soon as her partner left the room, she dialled her parents’ number. “Hi, Mum. Just checking in on the little man. Is he up and about yet?”
“Hello, darling. Oh yes, he was up and jumping around on his bed at six o’clock this morning. Your father has taken him to the park for a kick around. Giles came by this morning to drop off a change of clothes for Bobby.”
“He did? How was he?”
“He looked shell-shocked, as he’s bound to. They’ll survive this. Don’t you fret. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Like I went ten rounds with Amir Khan.”
Her mother chuckled. “Only the ten rounds? I was going to say don’t beat yourself up over this, Kayli, but it seems inappropriate after your comment. Are you at work?”
“Oh, yes. I couldn’t sit at home, stewing over things. Do you think I should ring Giles? Or should I wait until he contacts me?”
“I think you’re making too much of this, love. He was fine when he came to visit Bobby earlier. Well, not fine, but he’s accepted the situation for what it is.”
“I’ll give him a ring this afternoon, then. Did he say how long Annabelle was expected to stay in hospital?”
“Another day or so. There are procedures they need to carry out before they let her come home. I won’t bore you with the gruesome details.”
