“Shh, Maddie. Calm yourself, darlin’. I am here.” He laid a comforting hand on her cheek, then smoothed a hand over her hair, crooning to her until her sobs abated.
Finally her breathing evened.
“It’s all right. You are safe now. I got you. I’ll always have you.”
She tightened her arms around him. He responded in kind.
She gulped and hiccupped, then eased back to look at him. “This was all my fault.” The words burst from her, despairing and desperate. “You gave me so much when I came here. Gave me love—a family—and I almost ruined everything.” Her voice caught on a sob.
Tears streamed down her cheeks faster than she could swipe them away.
She was still in shock. He could think of no other reason for her words.
“None of this was your fault, darlin’. Those men robbed the bank in town. One of them got shot when they tried to hightail it out of town. Guess that was the boy you helped.” He continued to soothe her back. “There was nothin’ you could have done to stop this.”
“I c-could have listened to you.”
Oh, his ears had to be deceiving him. Surely he hadn’t just heard her make an admission like that.
“About what?” He kept his voice gentle, neutral.
She wrung her hands in the fold of her dress. “About trying to treat people. Those horrid men came here because they heard about me.”
“That is not true, so do not be blamin’ yourself. They came here because Granny Mac’s grandson told them you would be an easy mark. He was a troubled young man, Maddie. I saw it at the picnic. Jes’ didn’t know what to do to help him. Didn’t even try. If we are goin’ to place blame, then this was all my fault.”
She shook her head back and forth, back and forth. Didn’t stop. “No, you do not understand. I ruined everything. There’s…there’s something I haven’t told you.” The tears came again, in a flood this time.
There was more going on here than just the shock of the day. He just didn’t know what. She looked lost, desolate.
“What do you think you ruined?”
“Our baby. I almost got our baby killed.”
His body went stone cold. Oh, most heavenly God. Did I really hear what I think she just said?
He tried to remain calm, but his heart raced a mile a minute. His black mood from the day’s traumatic events improved to that of absolute jubilance. “What did you just say?”
Her tear-filled eyes rose to his. “Our baby. I almost got our baby killed. That man…that horrid man threatened to kill me.” She gulped.
“Our…baby?”
She nodded.
Elation surged through him. “We’re having a baby?”
She nodded again.
“You are sure?”
She heaved a deep, soulful sigh. “I am.”
“How…long have you known?”
“A-a while. I haven’t had my women’s flow and nausea plagued me for a while. It waited until after you left each morning and I was always fine by the time you returned home. I was not sure if you would want to have a baby with me, so I did not know how to tell you.”
He had to digest that before he could speak. “And why did you think I might not want a baby with you?”
“Well…” She drew the word out.
He held up a hand to stay her answer. “No, don’t answer that. I don’t think I am up for the explanation just yet. I think I will just sit here and process the news you just sprang on me.”
“Are you glad…or mad?”
His head tilted as he watched her intent gaze as she waited for his answer.
“I don’t think I have ever been happier than I am at this very moment.”
She relaxed in his arms, brushed a hand over her eyes, struggling to summon up a smile.
He pulled her close and covered her mouth with his own.
Oh yes, he was one very happy man. His wife was safe and he was going to be a pa.
Later, still sitting in the brown leather chair, Luke told her, “One of the main things I thought when I saw that lunatic holdin’ a knife to your throat—other than how was I gonna get you safely out of this mess—was that I might not have a chance to tell you how much I love you. I have been such a fool. Was afraid of gettin’ my heart broken, so I tried to hold back my feelin’s. Tried not to fall in love with you.”
He gave an embarrassed shrug. “That did not work out very well for me, though. Without me being able to stop you, you totally and completely insinuated your way into my life and my heart.”
He offered a deprecating smile. “Silly of me to have tried, huh?”
She shook her head and reached up to gently place two fingers on his lips. “No. Not so silly. I did the same thing.”
When she didn’t continue, he prodded, “What same thing?”
“Tried not to fall in love with you. I kept thinking you would realize I did not fit in on a ranch and you would send me on to San Francisco like I originally asked. Only it did not take long before I no longer wanted to head there—or anywhere else for that matter. I wanted to stay right here with you.”
“So you are sayin’ you did fall in love with me?” His heart soared. Oh, please God let that be what she’s saying.
Her eyes were so sad. Not how he thought they should look considering the subject they were addressing.
“I did. But now I have ruined everything.”
He frowned. “Maddie, look at me.”
She refused to meet his gaze. “No. It hurts too much.” Finally she raised her head. “Why didn’t I just listen? You told me—repeatedly I might add—not to be out helping people. Wondered why I could not be content to stay at home like your sister.”
Do not blow it, Guylenhall! “Because then you would not be the woman I love. You would be a stranger. I love you. Just the way you are. Don’t get me wrong now or try to twist my words. I have no doubt we will still clash in the future. But on things that matter the most—our feelin’s for each other—I love you just the way you are.”
She cast him a surprised look. “You are not angry those men were in our house?”
“Of course I am! I am livid. But I am angry with them—not you. You had no control over the actions of a bunch of twisted criminals.”
He could almost see the wheels in her brain turning as she processed his words. “So I can still help people?”
He nodded. “Within limits. If you really are havin’ our child now, you know I am goin’ to insist you temper some of your activities.”
She heaved a deep sigh and leaned back against him while he continued rocking her. “I feared as much.”
He couldn’t help but smile. She looked so forlorn. He wanted to do nothing more than to kiss a smile back on to her face. “You will know when you need to slow down. Your body will tell you. Just like Kat’s is now. I only ask that you not push yourself past that point.”
He tilted Maddie’s chin up to meet his gaze. “You would only hurt both yourself and the babe. Neither of us want that to happen.”
He continued staring at her.
“What?” she countered.
“I am waitin’ for you to say ‘yes dear.’”
She harrumphed, her voice dripping with sweet sarcasm as she said, “Do not hold your breath.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “There’s my girl! She is back.”
He pulled her close again. “I love you, Madelyn Guylenhall. More than I will ever be able to show you in a million lifetimes. Though I did not realize it when we wed, that day was one of the most important in my life. It made you part of my family.”
She smiled. “I love you, too. And I will be quite happy if you keep trying to show me.” She reached up and ran her hand through his hair. “Promise me you won’t ever stop.”
He lowered his lips to hers and whispered, “I promise.”
The next morning he was reluctant to release her as they languished in bed, but knew they had to do their chores, then head into town to talk w
ith Matt. He was waiting to get Maddie’s statement.
He hated having to subject her to that again, but it was necessary. Matt needed all the facts to present to the judge when he came through town. If that’s the route he chose to take. He might decide he wanted the men all gone and would transport them to the U.S. Marshal in the next largest region for confinement until their trial when the territorial judge came to town.
Matt probably wouldn’t make that decision until he heard the extent of Maddie’s statement.
Once they got back home, Luke told her, “Stay right here. I’ll fetch some cans from Cookie so we can go out and practice your shootin’. The man goes through cans of beans by the bushel load.”
Finally he pulled up the wagon he’d driven and jumped down to the ground. “This spot will be perfect.” He pointed. “See that broken limb on the ground? I’ll just put the cans on that and you can shoot at ‘em.”
She nodded, but looked reluctant.
After placing the first group of cans exactly where he wanted them, Luke stepped back to Maddie. An autumn breeze washed over them. “Okay, love. I’ll shoot the first group. Pay attention now to see exactly what I do.”
He pulled his Colt from its holster, checked the chamber, spun it, then faced the toppled branch. With one quick motion he raised the gun and knocked down each can in turn.
He glanced back to Maddie. She was on the ground, knees up, with her head down on her knees and her hands covering her ears. She rocked back and forth, tears streaming down her face.
She kept moaning, “No. No. No.”
Luke rushed to her and dropped to a knee. “Maddie, what is wrong? What happened? You are shaking like a leaf in a gale.”
She didn’t acknowledge him. Just kept repeating “No. No. No.”
He touched her arm, but she screamed and scooted back.
Anxiety surged through him. “Maddie, did you fall?”
Nothing. No response. Just a vacantness in her eyes.
He stood. “Maddie, I am gonna reach down and pick you up now. I am takin’ you home. We will come back out tomorrow and finish our practice.”
He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair, then put his hat back on.
He bent to help her up and she screamed. Fought him for all she was worth.
When he finally got her in the buckboard, they soon crested the rise in the road. Back at their house, he parked it in front of the barn. One of the hands came out and Luke told him, “Have someone rub Midnight down for me. And have the wagon put away.”
He moved to fetch Maddie from the wagon and stopped. “Oh, and send someone to town immediately to fetch Doc.”
His eyes shot up to the wagon seat. “Somethin’ is wrong with Maddie.”
He got her into bed, then waited. She hadn’t said a word to him. It was like she didn’t even realize he was there.
It scared him to death.
How much could his wife go through before she broke?
~ Chapter 18 ~
Not quite two hours later Buck rode up with the doc. The elderly man removed his hat, wiped his brow, put his hat back on, then got out of his buggy and grabbed his black bag.
Luke met him at the door.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Doc said immediately.
“Don’t know. That is what is so frustrating.”
“Is she sick?”
“No.”
“Hurt?”
“No.”
Doc stopped walking. “Then what—”
“Doc, I don’t know!”
“Tell me what happened.”
Luke relayed the incident at the improvised shooting range.
“Sounds like a case of shock, but why would shooting a gun cause such a reaction? Yet she did just go through a harrowing ordeal. Might be related to that.” Doc rubbed his fingers over his smooth chin. “Well, let’s go see her.”
At first he got no more reaction than Luke had. Suddenly, his head raised and he walked away from the bed and whispered to Luke. “Let me get back over beside her, then stand at the foot of the bed where she can see you.”
Luke nodded. “All right.”
“Take your revolver out of your holster and check the chamber. Spin it. Anything to make some noise.” He watched Maddie sitting in bed, staring straight ahead at nothing. “Then cock the trigger.”
“What? Why would I—”
“I didn’t say shoot. Just cock the trigger for me.”
Luke shook his head. “Doc, that is the daftest thing I have ever heard.”
The old man smiled. “Humor me.”
Luke did as he said. At the click of the chamber spinning, Maddie’s countenance paled. At the snick of the trigger, she screamed. Her eyes went wide with terror.
Doc quickly sat on the bed to soothe her.
Luke released the trigger, holstered his gun, and was at the other side of the bed immediately. “Honey, what—”
Doc stopped him. “If I am correct, her mind is shielding itself from the events of what happened yesterday. Let me handle this my way.”
Luke nodded agreement, but he sure was wary of the outcome.
Maddie rocked back and forth; tears streamed down her face.
Doc spoke softly. “It is all right now, Maddie. Everything is okay. No one is gonna hurt you. The bank robbers are gone. They will never hurt you again.” His eyes shifted to Luke, then back to Maddie.
“Tell me what happened yesterday, Maddie. What has you suddenly so afraid of guns?”
She shook her head repeatedly.
Doc reached out to take one of her hands within his. “It is all right. You can tell me. Talking about it won’t make it happen again.”
Her eyes rose to his.
He nodded encouragement. “That’s a good girl. You are safe now.” He spoke to her as if she were a child.
“Tell us what happened yesterday, Maddie. Tell us everything.”
Her lower lip quivered, but she held Doc’s gaze. “H-he was going to shoot me.” Her face paled at the memory.
“I know, dear. But you are safe now. That won’t happen.” He stopped a minute and swallowed. “What did he do?”
“He threatened me. Raised his gun to my temple and held it there. If-if he didn’t think I was doing something fast enough or well enough, he would bring the gun back up to my head. Once when I was trying to dig out the bullet, the snick of the trigger being cocked exploded in my ears.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No, no, that isn’t right. I know it wasn’t loud, but it sounded loud. I thought he was going to pull the trigger and Luke would find me splattered all over the floor.”
“Is that the only time the man did that, Maddie?”
She leaned her head back against the pillow bolstered against the headboard. “No.” She shuddered.
“Tell me.”
While Doc continued the interrogation, Luke sat beside her, his hands fisting. She hadn’t said a word of this to Matthew in her deposition. Hadn’t said a word of this to him.
“He pulled the trigger another time. It was his way of threatening me.” She released a mirthless laugh. “Pretty darn good way if you ask me.”
Doc leaned forward and watched her closely. He reached a hand up and touched a spot on her neck. “How did this happen?” he queried, coaxing her to answer him.
She shook her head, refused to respond.
“Maddie, I cannot help you if you do not talk to me.” His hands were gentle as he brushed the bruise on her neck.
She closed her eyes and released a sigh. “He choked me. Right when I almost had the bullet out. He reached over and grabbed me by the throat and almost closed off my windpipe. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to pry his fingers away, but he was so strong. With a twist of his wrist, he could have killed me.
“Finally he released them enough that I could break them away. Made it harder to work, though. I had almost found the bullet and then had to start over again.”
Her eyes shifted between Doc and Luke, almo
st as if it were the first time she was aware he was in the room.
“He threatened to kill me if I did not save his brother. I was imprudent enough to believe that meant he would let me live if I succeeded. I was a fool.”
Luke headed out the front door and shouted to his ramrod. When the man came at a run, Luke said, “Fetch Matt. Now!”
Matt finished taking Maddie’s statement.
Luke wanted to kick someone. Definitely wanted to do bodily damage to the gang’s leader. “Why didn’t she tell us all this yesterday? Or immediately after it happened?”
Doc pursed his lips. “Happens that way once in a while. Kind of the body’s way of protectin’ the mind. Too much trauma at one time.” He put his stethoscope back in his black bag and snapped it closed. “I think she will be fine now that she gas talked it out with us and Matt. Might still be a little leery around guns for a while, but jes’ like bein’ thrown from a horse, she needs to get back around ‘em right away.”
“So it is all right if I take her back out tomorrow so I can teach her to shoot?”
“She needs to know how,” Matt added.
Doc moved his eyes around the room, taking in everything, while he thought. “Tomorrow should be just fine.” He got Luke’s attention. “Do not push her too hard, though. She might be a bit skittish at first.”
The next day, after all the chores close to the house were finished and breakfast had been eaten and cleaned up, Luke headed toward the front door. He grabbed his hat from the peg and reached down for his shotgun.
“Fetch your shawl, woman. Time to go learn how to shoot these guns.”
Fear surfaced in her eyes immediately, but Luke could see her dealing with it. It didn’t take long for her to get herself back under control and follow him toward the door and reach up to grab for her shawl.
As time passed, weather slowly grew chillier, so he wanted her to be outside while the sun was out. From the clouds he’d seen in the distance earlier, they might be in for a good gullywasher later in the day.
After driving out to the same spot—Doc thought that was good for dealing with her recollections now, too—Luke placed the tin cans on the large, fallen branch.
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