Lucy and Addy were smiling impossibly large as they faded back a few paces to let us talk.
“Thanks,” I replied.
Andrew cocked his head to the side, a curious expression on his face. At least I thought it was curious. I couldn’t tell with those glasses obscuring his eyes. “What band did you come to see?” he asked.
“Friends of the Library,” I answered with ease, observing his perfectly straight teeth as his face broke out into a smile.
“I really like them,” he replied. “Almost as much as Avett.”
“Ditto!” I cried.
The two of us spent the rest of the set talking, and when he finally pushed his glasses up into his hair, I couldn’t help but find myself totally absorbed by the warm dark intensity of his eyes.
When the band had played its final song and we’d promised to meet up later in the festival, I wandered back to our group in a daze.
Everything about Andrew felt too good to be true. He was cute, he liked the same bands that I did, he knew obscure X-Files fandom junk, and talking to him didn’t make me feel like I had to hide my weird.
The problem was talking to him didn’t make me feel anything. Where were the butterflies? Why wasn’t I thinking about his lips? I had a sickening feeling that all my cloudy thoughts about Max were getting in the way of my finding someone serious.
Chapter Fourteen
Max
Nora was using my shoulder as a pillow as we laid under the shade of a tree, trying to rest before the rest of the festival that night. The others decided to see some pop band that Nora and I weren’t interested in, so we chose to use that time to recoup. We had our favorite event that night anyway—silent disco.
She’d been talking about it all day, even after meeting Mr. Needs-a-Haircut. He ended up sticking around for lunch, and apparently, he and Nora were both big fans of some library band that neither of them could stop talking about. They played tomorrow, which meant I had some damage control to do today.
“I wasn’t snoring, was I?” she mumbled when I felt her stir. She fell asleep a good hour ago, but I couldn’t seem to let my mind relax enough to drift off. And nevermind the pinecone digging into my ribcage. Nora was comfortable and nestled into my side. There could have been an asteroid careening for Earth and I still wouldn’t have moved.
“Oh yeah. You cleared the field,” I teased her.
She swatted for my head, but I held her hand by the wrist to keep her from taking out an eye. Nora fought like a girl born on a farm would fight.
“In fact, your new boyfriend showed up. Took one look at you drooling on my shirt and snoring louder than a snare drum and booked it.”
Her head snapped up from my shoulder. “Really?”
I laughed. “Of course not. Calm down.”
She rested her head back down, but this time had her face closer to my chest than my shoulder. I kept my arm flattened against the ground without moving it in for an embrace. That would have been cuddling, and friends didn’t cuddle. Of course, any walkers-by would have assumed we were a serious item by the way she latched onto my side.
I always wondered if Nora realized how her casual, comfortable behavior with me drove me wild. There was a pretty good chance everything she did was innocent, hence why I never made a creepy move on her, but then there was always that thought in my mind that wondered if she was sending me all the signs or replaying the same anxiety-riddled thought process in her head.
“What time is it?” she asked a few moments later.
“Almost eight,” I answered.
“Yay,” she said through a yawn. “Silent disco.”
Giving her a hand, we got up and dusted the dead grass off our backs. Just as we were about to leave, we spotted the rest of the group. Lucy, Simon, Addy, Gray...and Andrew. I had a very bad feeling about this.
I really wanted to just grab Nora’s hand and drag her away before they could stop us.
“Hey!” Addy said as she approached Nora, putting her arm around her, and shoving her closer to the new guy. Way to be subtle, sis.
“Where are you headed?” she asked.
“Silent disco,” Nora answered with an easy smile. She glanced at me with her eyebrows raised like it was a question.
“Yep,” I answered.
“Sounds fun,” Mr. Perfect added, watching Nora.
“You should go!” Addy squealed.
“Yeah, Max—” Nora started before my sister interrupted her.
“Max doesn’t like silent disco.”
My face turned beat red as I just stared at Addy.
“What are you talking about? I’m going,” I blurted out. I didn’t bother looking at Andrew, but I could feel him looking at me too, probably wondering just how much competition I was gearing up to be.
My sister threw me a warning glare that could probably melt paint off walls. “Since when do you like to dance?”
Since I decided I’d do pretty much anything to get your best friend to date me. Is what I wanted to say, but I didn’t. Instead, I let the awkward silence between me and my sister get heavier and heavier until Nora finally said something.
“Do the rest of you want to go?” she asked.
Gray answered with a yawn.
Addy just kept her angry eyes on me. I was ruining her plans by imposing myself and trying to ruin her last senior year goal. At least, that’s how she would see it.
“I guess that’s a no, then,” I muttered as I finally peeled my eyes away from my sister.
Then, as awkward as it was, Nora, Andrew, and I walked together to the silent disco tent. I could almost feel a burning spot in my back where my sister aimed her seething hatred.
We got to the tent early, so we didn’t have to wait too long to get our headphones. From the outside, silent disco looked absolutely absurd. It’s a crowded dance floor where everyone was bouncing and gyrating to different tempos of music that no one else could hear.
When we got our headphones, we threw them on and ran onto the crowded floor. At first, I was hesitant. I felt ridiculous, and even though I had a healthy sense of humor, I hated feeling ridiculous. Andrew looked perfectly comfortable with it. He was bouncing on his toes to something fast paced. Nora must have had something slower because she swayed in the middle of the floor with her eyes closed and her arms swaying over head.
Each set of headphones had a dial that would change the stations. But it was almost too much fun to listen to completely different music while dancing with friends. After a few minutes, I started to loosen up. Some EDM remix of Eye of the Tiger was blasting into my ears, and although it was really top-notch awful, I actually started having a little fun while Rocky boxing my dance moves around a cackling Nora.
Andrew must have changed his station too because after a moment, he was dancing to the same rhythm.
“This is terrible,” he yelled, pointing to his headphones.
“It’s really bad,” I answered.
Nora was barrelled over in laughter. When she stood up, there were tears pooling in her eyes. “You guys realize that you’re yelling, right?”
The three of us continued dancing and laughing, and to my utter dismay, I didn’t totally hate Mr. Perfect. He wasn’t obnoxious or annoying, and he had a dry sense of humor I admired. If I ignored the fact that he was my direct competition, I might have actually liked to hang out with the guy.
Dangit, he was Mr. Perfect!
After about an hour of dancing, Nora pulled us off to the side where we pulled off our headphones. It was so eerie to face the silence outside the deafening music.
“I could do this all night,” Nora beamed.
“Your wish is my command, darling,” I muttered with an exaggerated bow of my head. It was just one of many weird things I would say to Nora, something that wouldn’t even have fazed our usual friends, but as soon as I said it, I noticed Andrew stiffen.
“This was fun, but I’m exhausted. Think I’ll head back to camp.”
I probably shou
ld have felt bad, but I did not.
“Are you sure?” Nora asked with a sweet tilt of her head. It was genuine, and I worried that she really was disappointed about him leaving.
“Yeah, this was crazy fun though.”
“Okay,” she said with a sad smile. “We’ll meet up for the show tomorrow?”
“Definitely,” he answered, and suddenly I felt like I was watching something intimate that had nothing to do with me. Andrew looked down at Nora with a warm expression, but then he glanced at me as his expression faded. Poor guy could not seem to figure us out, and I really wanted to put my arm around her just to send the message home. This one is taken. Or is about to be.
After we said goodbye to Andrew, I looked at Nora. I wasn’t ready to head back yet, not even if it meant climbing into the same tent. I wanted more time with this full-of-life girl.
“Are you…?” I asked, afraid of asking in case she tried to put an end to our night.
“Oh, we’re not done dancing,” she ordered as she put my headphones back on my head with a smile.
We danced for so long my legs threatened to give out. When my all-time favorite song, Friday I’m in Love by The Cure came on, I grabbed her by the hand and swung her around, spinning her until she landed back in my arms. I could have survived on her smiles alone when she clutched onto my shoulder.
“I love this song!” she yelled.
“Me too!” I answered.
I’ll remember this dance for the rest of my life, I told myself, as I stared into her happy eyes. No two people could ever be as close as Nora and I were at that moment. There was absolutely nothing that could ruin that night—except, of course, for the stupid thing I did next.
Nora
It was magic. The Cure blaring through our headphones, the two of us jumping up and down, arms tangling and untangling, forbidden touches suddenly not forbidden because it was dancing, and dancing was rule-free.
It was magic until the lead singer crooned, “But Friday never hesitates,” and Max apparently lost his mind. He pulled me in by the waist, his fingers deftly weaving through my hair so that my head and his head were tilted at the perfect angle. He was so close I could feel his heart beating through his shirt in what was obviously a clear, clear violation of the friend zone. Max’s eyes got real big, like I was the last piece of Halloween candy and ten kids were coming up behind him. He had to act or else. Or else what? I would run away? Maybe I should have.
Instead, I stood there looking at him expectantly. It was all the permission he needed. He took a deep breath and pressed his lips to mine. I was supposed to pull back. I knew all the reasons I should not be kissing Max Altman. I knew them, but my lips and my brain were on different frequencies. I couldn’t seem to get the message from one end to the other. Instead, I kept kissing him, squeezing my arms around him like I wasn't in a tent filled with hundreds of strangers.
Hundreds of strangers and Addy.
When I finally opened my eyes and stumbled backward, the first thing I saw was her, standing at the back of the tent, her arms crossed over her chest, tears at the ready, though she was fighting them.
“You can’t do that again,” I mumbled to Max.
Max nodded solemnly, his eyes drifting to Addy who was leaving the tent at as close to a run as you could get when wearing three inch heels.
“Hey” I called after her. Tossing my headphones to the guy at the table on the way out. “Addy, wait up.”
If she heard me, she was too mad to answer. Fortunately, thanks to her hobbly boot run, I was quick enough to close the gap between us. I grabbed her by the elbow spinning her to face me.
“Addy, we have to talk about it.”
Addy wiped a tear from her cheek with the sleeve of her flannel button down. “What were you thinking?” she asked. I had expected her to be mad, but it was far worse than that. Addy looked sad, and it was because of me.
“It didn’t mean anything,” I tried. “It was just a stupid kiss.”
Addy rolled her eyes, “Didn’t mean anything to who? To you? Because I’m not blind. I know it meant something to my brother. Max has liked you since the days of trading desserts in our Lunchables.”
I didn’t know what to say. I guess part of me had always known that, but I pretended not to notice because it was less complicated if we just stayed friends. I wanted something serious, but not so serious that Addy was crying and Max thought he had to kiss me in front of a hundred people or lose the opportunity.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked. Hoping that, like usual, Addy would have the perfect plan to make everything better.
Addy sighed, “I want you to be happy, Nora, but I don’t want to see either of you get hurt. What if you break up? I’m just supposed to pick a side?”
There was the complicated part. If everything between Max and I was roses, then I got my ever after. Next year, when Lucy and Addy left, I would miss them, but I would have Max, and that would be enough. But if we didn’t work out... If one of us was awful to the other—or worse, one person just stopped feeling the way you’re supposed to feel in a relationship, then we both lost everything.
“I won’t tell you that you can’t date Max,” said Addy. “If you are meant to be together than I want that for you. But you should be sure. And you don’t look sure to me.” She was right. When I looked at her and Gray or Lucy and Simon I knew, without a doubt, that they had found their match. When I looked at Max though, I still had a dozen unanswered questions.
“We return to male and female segregated tents,” said Gray, as we reentered the campsite. He shuffled to the side to make room by the fire for Addy to stand beside him. “Your dear brother has a headache that requires all male sleeping quarters.”
Addy smiled, but I could tell she was concerned as she caught my eye across the flames. “Good,” she said, making the best of it in true Addy like fashion. “It’s time for us to have one last sleepover in the Igloo anyway.”
“Agreed,” chirped Lucy, swinging an arm around my shoulder.
I was glad to be sharing a tent with the girls again. Part of what made this trip so important to me was the opportunity to spend time with them, but it was hard to ignore the obvious. Max had rushed back to camp and immediately put as much distance between me and him as possible. It was time for me to do the same.
Chapter Fifteen
Max
I heard the girls talking outside the tent long after the sun had come up. Everyone was up and getting ready for our last day at the festival, and it was far past the time to wake up, but I didn’t have the nerve to face Nora and my sister.
The events of the evening replayed in my head all night. The kiss was a split second of perfection. When my lips touched hers, she didn’t pull away. When I deepened the kiss, she deepened it too. Until she pulled away, and my sister was there, and Nora was running away from me.
And I caught up with her enough to hear her call it just a stupid kiss.
If I could have apparated my butt out of there at that exact moment, I would have. Instead, I settled for running back to our camp alone and hiding in my sleeping bag like a coward.
Fun fact: heartbreak literally hurts. All night, as I wished more than anything that Nora and I could have just come back to the tent without that stupid kiss and laughed about our amazing evening. I couldn’t get over how much everything hurt.
I was such an idiot.
“We should wake him soon,” Lucy whispered to one of the girls, and I knew she was talking about me. They would be heading to the first concert of the day, but I also knew they’d be meeting up with Mr. Perfect, and I really didn’t want to see him either.
There was a good chance Nora would want to talk to me about what happened last night, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of facing her about it. Then a thought made my gut plummet. What if I could never face her again? What if I just lost my best friend? What if the only person on this green earth that I actually liked could never look at me the same again?
<
br /> “Max, are you up?” Addy called. I saw her silhouette against the wall of the tent.
“Just go. I’ll meet you there,” I answered, clearing my throat so they didn’t hear how broken my voice was.
“Come on, Max. Get your butt up.” I could hear something in my sister’s voice that sounded less like annoyance and a little more like concern.
“He’ll meet us when he’s ready,” Gray said, putting his hand on her shoulder.
I wanted to tell her, Of course, I’m up. This tent is like an oven when the sun shines in, and also, you ruined my life. But I didn’t. I figured I would just hold off on alienating everyone I cared about.
A moment later, the campsite quieted. When I couldn’t take the heat any longer, I finally crawled out of my sleeping bag and unzipped my way out of the tent. The campsite wasn’t quite empty, however. One lone figure sat on the camping chair waiting for me.
It was Gray.
“Please don’t,” I muttered as I reached for a bottle of water out of our cooler.
“You got it,” he answered. “I don’t do feelings. I just figured you shouldn’t have to walk alone.”
“Thanks.”
When he finally looked up at me, he grimaced. That was a pretty good indicator that I looked about as wonderful as I felt. My head was pounding, and my swollen eyes throbbed like they would pop out of my head at any moment.
“If it makes you feel better, she didn’t look much better this morning. I’d say you both got about the same amount of sleep.”
“That does make me feel better, actually.” I didn’t even care how petty that made me. I wanted to be the person Nora lost sleep over, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
Also, and I wasn’t proud to admit this...even to myself, but I was a little mad at her. After everything, every sign that let me believe I could kiss her, she dropped me on the dancefloor like I meant nothing to her.
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