An Amorous Discourse in the Suburbs of Hell

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An Amorous Discourse in the Suburbs of Hell Page 2

by Deborah Levy


  i would have to come to the angelic conclusion

  that if i was to imitate the acts of human beings

  i would have to imitate her not as she is

  but as she could be

  ‌

  He

  Erm … I find your

  Angelic hips alienating.

  You thrash about in some bedlam

  For the winged and divine

  Forgetting you have a mortal

  On your knee. My moustache is

  Full of froth. I don’t understand

  Say again what you said?

  ‌

  she

  i said nothing

  i said nothing

  i said looking

  down into the suburbs

  and beyond

  i saw

  sad stars fall

  like halos

  on men and women

  howling into the damp crease of their past

  i saw first worlds

  blister the skin

  of other worlds

  zebras

  gallop through

  burning suns to

  the shade of long

  grasses, and

  somewhere else, love

  affairs in old hotels

  with balconies

  i saw beggars beg

  in every language children fear

  death in every language

  and i saw you

  weeping on your doormat

  decided to become

  a commuter

  between heaven

  and

  the suburbs of hell

  you seemed like a good

  sort of man

  an accountant

  with culinary tendencies

  tho’ lacking in charisma

  (look at your tie)

  the task

  to

  bring you

  into

  the light

  and dark

  of uncertainty

  the two great themes

  of classical science

  chaos

  and

  order

  undressing and

  dressing and

  cross dressing and

  overdressing and

  addressing envelopes

  ‌

  He

  Sounds like hard work

  To me

  I like plain shampoos

  Soaps

  Ecologically sound

  Detergents

  One hundred per cent

  Wool

  Good strong tea

  Olive oil (budget permitting)

  I like the light

  To be just light

  And the dark

  To just be dark

  I do not wish to live in a grey area

  Or to read between the lines

  Love must start on the first line

  Continue on every line

  No line without love

  And then she marries me

  That is my wish

  ‌

  she

  get off my knee

  stanley …

  now!

  i try to introduce you

  to the way i see things

  and all you want is a wife

  a wife and a second-class stamp and a bath

  a bath and a donut and a product to kill moths

  ‌

  He

  You’re just a totalitarian angel

  Full of self-rapture

  I thought you were a divine messenger

  In fact you’re a glutton

  With wings

  ‌

  she

  you are suburbia’s satisfied son

  i came to you

  naked

  glittering

  flew through a chernobyl storm

  above the pripyat river and its seven left tributaries

  pina, yaselda, tsna, lan, sluch, ptsich, braginka

  to find your microwave dreaming of you

  yes dreaming of you

  kneeling in a nuclear forest

  gathering mushrooms in lithuania

  pinging

  pinging

  pinging

  dreaming in stainless steel for you

  ‌

  He

  You came to me

  At the moment

  I did battle with my soul

  And found myself

  Weeping on the doormat

  Journeyed through

  The storm in my heart

  To heal the wounded

  And yet the healer

  Is more wounded than myself.

  Your discontent

  Has shattered

  My double glazing

  Twice

  Who taught you

  To behave like that?

  This is a gentle place

  With ancient trees

  And often blossom

  Go away

  And don’t come back

  Fuck off

  Out of my easily

  Satisfied arms.

  ‌

  she

  so cruel you are

  secretly. untangle

  this bird caught

  in my hair. it blew

  in from somewhere

  made me yearn

  for hugs and

  boat rides

  i’ve got all plump

  from lack of euphoria.

  ‌

  He

  Ha!

  Despite your sizzling proclamations

  I am happier than you

  Though you despise me for it

  I listen to the weather forecast

  Enjoy peaceful walks

  In appropriate clothing

  Sleep well at night

  Do I need you?

  Though flattered to be visited by an angel

  With a mission

  I prefer talking to my postman

  His name is Shivadhar

  In winter he wears a black beanie

  With a bobble and I want one

  In blue.

  Tonight

  I will eat

  Pad Thai and drink

  Singha beer

  With my brother

  Grateful

  For small pleasures

  We can share

  All the while

  Glad to be sure

  The sun will always set in the West

  And dusk settle over this suburb of bankrupt councils

  Retail click-and-collect centres

  Mental health tribunals

  And me

  And Shivadhar

  And my brother.

  Did you say you can hear a frog

  Splashing at the end of the world?

  ‌

  she

  i said nothing

  i said something

  i said never talk to the hand

  when you have an angel

  perched on your wrist

  you are a human subject

  living and furious

  architect of your own paradise

  on this grave earth

  of splendid contraries

  it’s been a pleasure

  to know you

  and then know

  you a little bit more

  fry me a sardine

  the wind is blowing

  i’ll be off.

  ‌

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