I also have a boyfriend, though I think I’m going to dump him. He’s too maudlin for me. Hung like a horse, though. He likes my piercings. I didn’t tell you, I added another to my belly button, it’s super cool. You should do it, the double ring looks really sexy.
Love you, friend,
V
PS: Sorry about the email, I don’t have a computer. Besides, letters are so much better. Email feels like too many people are watching.
May 1998
Dear V,
You’re aren’t going to believe this, but I’ve gotten married!
His name is Kyle Noonan, and he is a big shot lawyer here in town. We eloped! My mom is so upset with me. Almost as mad as when I got that tattoo right after I got out of “school,” and she made me have it removed. God, that hurt.
Anyway. Kyle’s a great guy. I hope you understand why I didn’t ask you to be in the wedding. We decided to do it, and went and did it. Vegas, baby! It was crazy, and I’m not sure it’s the wedding I always dreamed about, but he is handsome and kind, and this is going to be such an exciting ride.
We’re going to try for a baby, too. I’ve always wanted to be a young mother, as you well know.
I’ll send pictures once they’re developed!
Love,
Liesel
December 1998
My darling Liesel,
That’s awesome! Big news here too: I’ve met someone. Like, the guy, someone. He’s amazing. Tall, and handsome, and smart. He came into the restaurant, and I served him. I acted like an idiot, all fumble fingers, but he left me a massive tip with his phone number!! We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months now, and I have to say, I don’t think I have ever been happier. Thing are moving fast, and he asked me to move into his apartment on base. He said if I like it, we can stay there, and if I’m not happy, we can get a little house together somewhere. I think he’s amazing.
Since I will no longer be a single white female, I have a huge favor to ask. As you can see, I’ve enclosed all your letters in this package. I am scared to death he might find them during the move. Once we’re settled, and he’s deployed again, you can send them back. But for now, can you keep them safe for me? I treasure our correspondence. It’s kept me going through dark times and through light.
You are going to love him, Liesel! Can’t wait to meet Kyle, too!
Love,
V
January 1999
V,
Completely understand. Your secrets are safe with me. He sounds DIVINE!!! Send pictures soon! Oh, if you have access, you can always email me. We can talk there if it’s easier for you. It’s [email protected]. Don’t tell anyone yet, but I missed my period. Shhhh–
Love,
Liesel
April 1999
Liesel, my dear,
Oh wow, L. I am very happy for you. I apologize that the email isn’t working out, as our internet connection sucks big time, and it takes as long to open my email as the Pony Express took to go cross country. Z deploys soon. You’ll be able to mail back the letters, and I will find a safe place for them.
He says he wants to marry me when he gets back from this tour. Can you imagine? I will make sure you have a spot at my side and are wearing something gorgeous. Lavender, maybe. It would look so pretty with your dark hair.
Love,
V
May 1999
V,
Just a quick note to say I think it’s fabulous that you’re getting married!
Though not sure about lavender, as I’m no longer dark haired. I’ve been highlighting mine for a couple of years, now. It’s all the rage here, and it looks pretty. I like being a blonde. It’s like I’m a whole different person.
Now, the not so great news. I miscarried. Kyle said he wasn’t sad about it, either, which sort of broke my heart. I am going to try again in two months like the doctor says. I’ll have time to convince Kyle what a wonderful idea it is.
Are you going to have children?
Love,
Liesel
February 2000
Dear V,
I’m pregnant again! The doctor says this time it’s going to stick. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I’m going to wait to tell Kyle until I’m past the danger time. But I had to tell you. I am so excited!!!
What are you doing? How’s your hot hubby?
Love,
Liesel
March 2000
Liesel,
Oh wow. Congratulations! I’m so excited for you!
And here’s some news: I’m pregnant, too.
I can’t begin to tell you how freaked out I am. Knowing you’re incredibly excited for me is a help. I’m scared to death. But I’ll figure it out. I have to stop taking my meds, they can interfere with the baby’s growth. So it’s talk talk talk therapy for me—joy! I’ve been seeing Dr. Freeman. Can you believe he’s still at University? He made an exception since I am such an old patient.
Anyway, it’s cool that we can experience this together. It will help me feel less alone. I’m due in August, by the way. Jesus, that’s forever from now.
Love,
V
PS: As you can see, I’ve sent another batch of our letters for your safekeeping. I know you said I should just come clean to Zack, but I don’t have the heart to tell him what I’ve been through. He’s such a strong man. I don’t want him to see me as anything less than his warrior wife.
* * *
There’s no question in Mindy’s mind who V is anymore. Mindy’s heart is broken for her biological mother. For her illness. Her sadness.
And she is so very confused.
How did Mindy actually end up with Lauren and Jasper? And who killed Vivian?
She needs to talk to her mom. But she doesn’t quite know what to say.
Maybe Zack can help her make sense of the letters. She’ll ask him the next time she’s allowed to see him.
In the meantime, she lies in the strange bed, mind spinning with possibilities, awaiting her fate.
PART THREE
68
VAIL HEALTH HOSPITAL
Twenty-four hours. That’s all it takes for a world to fall apart.
Zack was right. Juliet wasn’t prepared for the onslaught. She is astounded at the intensity of the media storm, even though she’s seen them time and time again. Hospital security has to be doubled—reporters keep trying to sneak in and take photographs of Mindy and Zack, Lauren and Jasper. The Vail police have their hands full with the sudden inundation of news trucks from every Denver station as well as all the cable news vans.
The media legion brings out the lookie-loos. People are filming the front of the hospital like it is some sort of multi-vehicle car crash, hoping for blood to spill and people to run away screaming. Twitter and Facebook have blown up, the hashtags #violetmindy and #violetisalive are trending. There isn’t a corner of the country, and probably the English-speaking world, that isn’t now aware that the lost Armstrong baby has been found.
Jasper and Lauren put out a statement asking for privacy in the face of their daughter’s medical emergency, but it doesn’t matter. Mindy Wright, aka Violet Armstrong, is news everywhere.
The child in question is not unaware of the attention. Though vetoed by her parents, she has insisted on watching, and the television is on while Zack’s plasma drips into her veins. She has very little energy, the last blast of chemo saw to that, but Juliet can see the life spark in her eyes while Mindy watches clips of herself shooting down the side of mountain after mountain, the small winces when the crash is replayed over and over, or when the photographs of a young, happy Vivian and Zack are shown. She can only imagine what is going through the kid’s mind. Mindy has never shied away from the spotlight before—she is a damn good skier, takes pride in it. She isn’t cocky
, but confident, and totally capable of talking to reporters and handling herself. Part of her appeal to the ski world is how great she comes across in front of a camera and microphone.
But now, shrunken, casted, bald and gray, how will the world who loves the vibrant young skier feel about her? Juliet knows her niece well enough to believe she won’t be comfortable with the world seeing her in her current state.
Which is fine, because the media has enough fodder to work with until Mindy grants them an interview. On cable news, videotape of the crash, of Mindy’s skiing, is being shown on a loop. Her coach is interviewed, her teammates harassed. The press conference Woody held flashes every few minutes, Detective Starr and Sergeant Parks by his side, along with several other CBI folks and more she doesn’t recognize, probably the feds who’ve attached themselves to the case. Child psychologists extrapolate Mindy is trying to make up for a lack of real maternal care by throwing herself into extreme sports. If she’d only been breastfed, Juliet hears one of them say, and bites back a laugh as Mindy rolls her eyes and flips the channel.
Her insta-celebrity as the missing Violet Armstrong is a surprising step up for an already famous kid known for her prowess and daring.
Piles of teddy bears and flowers and candles create a shrine outside the hospital doors. A couple of times a day, Juliet selects one or two of the cutest animals and brings them in, places them on the window ledge overlooking Mindy’s room so that she can see them.
She’ll be in isolation for a while, making sure the transplant takes. It is going to be a long few days.
Lauren and Jasper have been exceptionally quiet, leaning against one another, answering whatever questions are posed to them but not offering up anything themselves.
Everyone knows everything has changed. There is no going back in time, to when Mindy was simply a sick kid, and Lauren and Jasper were holding on for dear life to get her well.
Juliet stands outside Mindy’s door, watching the process. It is amazing that something so benign looking can save a life. The cells, packed into a sterile bag, drip, drip, drip into Mindy’s arm as she distractedly watches the television screen. Juliet sees Lauren’s eyes watching the drips as well, intently, counting them, as if she can infuse the blood with strength.
She has to make things right with her sister. The need is so pressing, so intense, Juliet has to shut her eyes and ball her hands into fists to handle the surge of emotion. Love? Hate? Fear? All of the above, plus a healthy dose of anger. Juliet is hurt that Lauren didn’t trust her, pushed her away. Hurt. That’s it. She’s been hurt by Lauren plenty of times in the past, blithely ignoring her sister’s barbs or inattention, but this is different.
She can’t help but feel something else is wrong, and she has no idea what that might be. But Juliet is an adult, and she needs to fix this. Emboldened, she reaches over and touches Lauren’s hair, tucking a piece back behind her small, neat ear. Lauren twitches but doesn’t pull away.
“Lauren. Can we talk?”
Jasper shoots her a glance. “Haven’t you done enough?”
“I haven’t done anything you didn’t ask me to do. I just want to talk to my sister.”
“It’s okay, Jasper.” Lauren lays a hand on his arm, smiling at him softly. “What is it, Juliet?”
“I’m sorry you feel like I’m responsible for all of this. I just wanted to help.”
“I know you did. Don’t worry. This isn’t about you anymore.”
There is something about the way she says it that makes Juliet want to slap her, but she resists, lets the urge pass.
“Listen, what do you need? I know you’re going to stay here for the next couple of days. I can go to the house and bring back whatever you might have forgotten. Fresh clothes, toothbrushes, anything. I’m going stir crazy here, I gotta get out and stretch my legs.”
“How will you get past the media? They’re camped outside, and I bet a few are at the house waiting, just in case.”
“I can do it. I can get a police escort if I have to. They won’t be able to stop me. Seriously, do you need anything?”
It is Jasper who answers. “No. We don’t. The house is locked up so none of the media can peer in, and we’re fine. Thank you, Juliet.” So dismissive, so hard. When did he become this person? She barely recognizes him.
“Are you sure?”
Lauren glances once at Jasper, then nods. “I think it’s best that you don’t go near the house.” She’s become an automaton, parroting Jasper. She’s given up, Juliet realizes. She thinks Zack is going to take Mindy away, and she’s given up.
“My clothes are in there, so I’m going to go get them. I’ll find a hotel room. I’ll get Zack’s things, too. We wouldn’t want to be an imposition on you.”
“Maybe that’s best,” Lauren murmurs.
“I wish you’d stop blaming me. My God, all I did was find the man who’s saving her life. Why am I suddenly the villain here?”
At the twin looks of anger on the faces of the only family she has, Juliet storms out of the room, not caring that Mindy has heard her outburst and is watching her retreat with concern.
She doesn’t understand Jasper and Lauren, not one bit. And it pisses her off they are treating her like she is some sort of monster, like she’s brought this hell down upon them.
She does have a plan mapped out for leaving the hospital grounds. There is a back door out into the lower parking lot from the floor below the ground-level cafeteria. She’s already gone out there once to check, and no one of note was hanging around. This time, she goes full speed, not bothering to look as she crashes out the door.
She reaches her truck without incident. She unlocks the doors, and as she climbs in, a face appears on her passenger side, making her jump with fright until she realizes it is a familiar face. Jasper.
She presses the lever and the window whirs down.
“What is it?”
“You need to stop upsetting Lauren. She’s very fragile right now.”
“Why? What in the world has changed? I don’t understand the attitude shift from you two.”
“She feels like you’re siding with Zack, that you’re going to try to take Mindy away from her. Apparently Mindy made an offhand comment about you and Zack being a cute couple, and it upset her terribly. We’re all under stress, Juliet. Lauren is a very private woman, and she’s not at all comfortable with your open relationship with the people she thinks are trying to steal her child away from her. I’ve had to give her Ativan to calm her, she’s been a complete wreck since Zack showed up. Her fears might not be rational, but she is legitimately afraid. I have to keep her calm, keep her focused.”
“She hasn’t seemed like that big of a wreck to me. When did this shift happen?”
“Trust me when I say she’s been trying to keep a brave face on. She’s been under so much pressure lately, and this scrutiny is making her a little anxious. We’ll get through this, but I wanted to remind you to be careful who you talk to, and what you say. We don’t want anything misinterpreted.”
“Do you mean Zack? My God, Jasper, it’s like you’re mounting a campaign to make sure he doesn’t have access to Mindy.”
Jasper doesn’t speak, and then it hits her. “That’s exactly what you’re trying to do. You’re going to mount a legal defense that she’s yours and not his?”
“We’re going to try.”
Juliet shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “Don’t do it. You won’t win. And Mindy wants him to be a part of her life.”
“Mindy is a minor. We make the decisions.”
“For a few more months. Jasper, you will lose her if you try to make unilateral decisions, trust me. She’ll fight you, and so will he. You’d be much better off accepting that now and working with all of us instead of trying to drive a wedge.”
“All of us. So Lauren’s right. You have chosen a side.”
/> “Jasper. There are no sides here. We’re a family. We are getting Mindy through this trial, and we need to do it together.”
“Hm. Do you really know Zack Armstrong, Juliet?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you know about him? His time in the service is classified, but I know what he did. Has he told you?”
“He was military intelligence.”
“Right. I have a friend in the Defense Department, and he told me the truth about our friend Zack. He killed people. He did it for the government, sanctioned assassinations. The whole incident where he was shot? He wasn’t at a safe house meet like he claims. He was sent to murder the head of the Taliban, and he almost succeeded, but they caught wind of the plot and shot him first. He’s not the hero you think he is, and he’s certainly not the hero the country makes him out to be.”
“Jasper, I know you’re a pacifist, but what happens during a war...”
“There is what happens during a war, Juliet, and there are the black souls of men who are happy to do their government’s bidding and murder anyone they’re told. What kind of man does that make him? He’s certainly not the kind of person I want around my child, and if he tries to take her, I will make sure the whole world knows just who Zack Armstrong really is. And I will let Mindy know who he is, too.”
“Jasper, you aren’t making any sense. Zack isn’t trying to steal Mindy. He wants to co-parent. He’s talking about moving here. He’s willing to upend his life to accommodate you guys.”
“The man is morally corrupt, and I will not have him near my child.”
She is getting angry now. She wants to jump from the car, stamp her feet, scream and pull his hair, but she maintains her measured tone and grips the steering wheel harder.
“He’s saving your child’s life, you idiot. Have you stopped to think about that? His blood is saving her, the same blood you claim is so tainted. I don’t know what world you’re living in, Jasper, but it’s not reality. The stress has gotten to your brain.”
Tear Me Apart Page 30
