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"W-w-what do you mean?" she asks nervously.
"Hes on the trip. "
"With you?"
"Yeah. "
"Why? How? Where has he been? Is he okay?" she asks, panic laced in her voice. "Okay, thats so weird. I really called you because I wanted to talk about Caleb and I didnt know who else to call besides you. How did you end up on the same trip as my brother?
"I dont know how it happened, exactly. I think hes been living in Chicago since he left town. Hes changed, though. Hes not the same. " I dont tell her my goal is to get Caleb back to Paradise to work things out. Leah needs him. His family needs him. I thought I needed him, but now were too different. I cant be emotionally involved with someone who resents the world and wants to push everyone away.
I hear hesitation in Leahs voice as she says, "I always used to think an ESP thing between twins was something people made up. But I couldnt sleep the past few nights, Maggie. I swear Caleb is in trouble, or really unhappy. I feel his pain as if its my own. Thats stupid, isnt it?"
"No, its not stupid," I tell her. I believe anything is possible. Its probably because Im an over-emotional person. Its one of my flaws.
"Do me a favor, will you?"
"What is it?" I ask.
"Take care of him, Maggie. Promise me youll watch out for my brother," she says almost desperately.
Watch out for him? Caleb is strong enough, if not emotionally than definitely physically, to take care of himself.
"Dont worry, Leah," I tell her. I swallow a lump in my throat and temporarily push away my newfound resolve to let go of Caleb once and for all. "Ill make sure he stays out of trouble. "
ELEVEN
Caleb
oure a great dancer," Brandi says as we walk outside after we unload a beer bong in the kitchen. This girl is no stranger to beer bongs, Ill tell you that much. Shes a damn pro.
I mumble, "Thanks. "
She holds on to my elbow to steady herself and looks up at me with big brown eyes. "You know what they say about good dancers, dont you?"
Sure I know, but I want to hear the explanation come through Brandis little lips . . . so Ive got to ask. "What do they say?"
She gives me a wicked smile and giggles. "Good dancers are good in bed. "
Brandis words make me feel like a rock star. She definitely feeds my bruised ego.
"Wanna test that theory?" I ask. Okay, Im officially drunk.
She bites her bottom lip, assessing me like a car. I wonder if she thinks Im a Chevy or a Rolls Royce. She leans in and whispers in my ear, "Im a good dancer, too. "
I pull this sexy girl close. Her arms wrap around my neck and she presses against me. Its a hint of more to come. Im gonna let myself enjoy Brandi. Shes a surefire solution to this pity party Ive been throwing myself for way too long. No doubt shes gonna make me forget about Maggie and everything else.
I dont know how much alcohol I have in my system, but its enough to make my head swim and make me believe the only girl Im interested in is the one pressing her hot body against mine, which is good. Very good.
"Lets go to your place," I tell her. I dont think Maggie or Damon would be too appreciative if they came back and caught me gettin it on with a girl. And if Lenny found us . . . hell, the guy might be demented enough to ask to join in the fun.
She leads me down the quad, tripping a couple of times. I steady her and she calls me her hero. Yeah, right. We stagger past the place I played football earlier, but she stops when we get to Dixon Hall.
"You live here?" I ask her as I fight the sobering thought that we might get caught by the Re-START posse.
"Yeah. Dont worry, though. My roommate is out for the night. "
She leads me up the stairs to the second floor. Damn. Her room is just down the hall from ours. Brandi doesnt have a suite like the one Im in-hers is just a small dorm room with two single beds.
I watch with lazy eyes as she stumbles over to the bed and unbuttons her shirt. She watches me with raised eyebrows as she pushes the material aside like curtains being opened to let in the daylight sun, revealing a lacy black bra that doesnt hide much. I like easy girls who dont expect me to be one of the good guys. If they wear lacy black bras, all the better. I whip my shirt off and walk toward her.
"Your tattoo is so sexy," she purrs as we lie on the bed together. "Its like black fire. " I got my tattoo in Chicago as a symbol of my rebellion.
Being here with Brandi is a symbol of my rebellion, too.
We havent kissed yet. Im not sure I even want to kiss her. And while that thought should be alarming me, I dont think about it too hard because (1) its damn difficult to think straight when youre drunk, and (2) she maneuvers around to straddle me and my mind goes blank.
She traces the tattoo on my biceps with her fingers. "Wanna see mine?"
"Sure. "
She kneels above me, turns around, and pulls down the back of her pants. Sure enough, shes got a tattoo of a red unicorn with rainbow wings right above her ass crack.
"Nice," I say, but Im starting to feel anxious so I add, "Show me what else youve got. " Wed better get this party started because I should go back to my own room soon. I better not be missing when Damon and the rest of the crew comes back.
Brandi licks her heart-shaped lips as she twists back around and unbuttons her low-slung pants. "I like a guy who knows what he wants. What do you want, Caleb?"
"Im up for anything and everything. "
"Me too," she says, raking her nails down my chest and moving lower. And lower. It hurts, and I think shes scratching off a layer or two of my skin. She slithers down my body, and I decide I dont care.
I lie back, welcoming what I know will come next. As her expert hands unsnap and unzip my jeans, then free me from confinement, I watch, my head spinning. Shes having no problem focusing, even though shes as wasted as me. Everything she does is so well orchestrated; this girl is a total pro at more than just beer bongs. I close my eyes and tell my lower region to enjoy the attention.
I am definitely into this.
Way into this.
To say Im turned on right now is an understatement of mega proportions. Im just not sure if its a problem that behind my eyelids Im imagining a girl who limps and hates me. . .
Maggie.
"What did you just say?"
Huh? "What?" I open my eyes and look down at Brandi, poised above my unzipped pants.
"Did you just call me Maggie?" she asks accusingly.
"No. " Whether I did or didnt, Brandi is definitely not Maggie. "Sorry," I add lamely.
She shrugs. "Thats okay. "
Without hesitation, she reaches into her side table drawer and pulls out a little plastic bag. She picks out a yellow pill with a smiley face on it, pops it in her mouth, and breathes in slowly as she savors the taste. "Here, take an Adam," she says, holding another one out to me.
I look at the pill. "Whats an Adam?"
"You know, Ecstasy. Take it and put it under your tongue. I promise you wont think about anything else but having a good time with me. "
Sounds great. I sit up and take the pill from her. If taking this little thing can make me forget everything except having a good time, Im all for it.
But as Im about to pop it into my mouth, I think about my mom. My mom is a prescription drug addict. Getting shitfaced drunk is bad enough, but taking pills . . .
Fuck.
Ingesting pills takes this thing to an entirely different level. I hand the pill back to her. "I cant do this. "
"Do what?" she asks hesitantly.
I move out from under her and pull up my jeans. "I dont know. I need a minute. "
"For what?" she asks, now completely confused.
Good question. I look Brandi up and down. Shes totally got it goin on. Shes beautiful and has a rockin bod . . . but shes not Maggie. And while I dont want Maggie, or cant have Maggie, or whatever the hell it is that I cant put into a coherent thought
because Im drunk, this isnt gonna work unless I can pull it together.
"Wheres the bathroom?" I ask.
"Down the hall. You okay? If youre thinking about buying protection out of the bathroom dispensers, you dont have to worry. Ive got some. "
I head out the door and mumble, "Ill be right back. "
I stumble over to the guys bathroom and lean over one of the sinks. This sucks. I should be enjoying my night off. Instead, Im a moody drunk. I look into the mirror in front of me, and it makes me feel worse. I run my hand through my messed-up hair and wonder if I should shave it all off like they did in juvie, cause right now Im not just a moody drunk . . . Im a moody drunk who looks like shit.
Whats worse is I feel as bad as I look.
I splash water on my face to help bring me out of this mood, but its no use. Brandi was turning me on, but it wasnt Brandi making me hard. It was thoughts of Maggie. Twisted, I know. Theres no way I can go through with this thing with a girl whos just a stand-in.
I head back toward her room. Shes probably tripping by now and ready for some serious action. I hope shes not too pissed Im skipping out on her XTC party early.
In the hallway, just as Ive got my hand on Brandis doorknob, I hear Maggies voice from behind me say, "Thats not our suite, Caleb. "
I look toward the girl whos been haunting my nights ever since I was locked up in jail. The girl who just ruined my sexual escapade with Brandi without even knowing it. Shes got hazel eyes that change with her mood, so different from the girl I was lying in bed with a few minutes ago. And while Maggie looks damn hot to me, I doubt she has any unicorn tats above her ass or wears lacy black bras. Id like to find out, though.
"I know," I say.
Maggie limps over to me, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then what are you doing out in the hall without a shirt on?" She looks me up and down. "And why are your, um, pants unbuttoned . . . and unzipped?"
The door to Brandis room opens and Brandi appears. Her hair is mussed, her pants are undone and hanging loosely on her hips, and shes got her shirt clenched against the front of her bra. Im screwed.
"Oh," Maggie mumbles, obviously getting her answer without me having to say a word.
"There you are," Brandi says with a smile, then looks over at Maggie. "Who are you?"
"His gir friend," Maggie answers with a stern, straight face.
Brandi looks from Maggie to me, then back to Maggie. "Youre kidding, right?"
TWELVE
Maggie
he girl with her barely there shirt clutched in front of her is waiting for an answer. Obviously she doesnt believe that a girl who looks like me could be dating a boy who looks like Caleb.
My insides clench in disgust. Caleb isnt my boyfriend and technically never was, but it still hurts to see him standing here in the hallway, his shirt off and pants unzipped, obviously ready to get it on with this girl.
I dont wait for him to tell the girl that the last person on earth hed call his girlfriend would be me. Whether it hurts or not, I promised Leah that I would look after Caleb. She senses hes in trouble. Leahs twin-ESP senses were right on.
I skipped the movie tonight after the youth group dinner because I was tired and my leg started to ache. Little did I know Id find Caleb here, like this, with another girl.
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