Room on the Porch Swing

by Amy Clipston

  “No, I’ll be fine.”

  “But you have Saturday hours at your shop.” She pointed toward the back door. “You missed part of Wednesday and part of today.”

  “It’s okay.” He shrugged. “I’ll put a note on the door explaining customers can knock if they want to buy a buggy. I think I need the weekend to rest a little.”

  “I really don’t mind staying over tonight if you need me tomorrow.”

  His expression warmed. “You’ve been here helping me all week. I’m sure your family would like to see you. Jamie probably needs you to help him move furniture tomorrow, right?”

  “Oh, right. I’d forgotten he’s moving out tomorrow.” An unexpected sadness came over her. She should be happy about finally having her own room, but she wasn’t excited about that either. She’d miss her middle-of-the-night talks with her younger sister. Why did things have to change?

  “Where did you go just now?” His eyes were locked on hers, and their intensity sent goose bumps dancing up her arms.

  A shiver of awareness rolled through her despite the humid August air that filtered through the open kitchen window.

  “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

  “No, you haven’t said anything wrong.” She moved to the kitchen table and began unpacking Mollie’s diaper bag to avoid Allen’s stare.

  When a sudden urge to confide in him overwhelmed her, she dropped into a kitchen chair and looked up at him. “I’m just confused.”

  “About what?” He sat down beside her.

  She drew circles on the table with her index finger as she tried to make sense of her emotions. Then she rested the side of her face on one palm. “I just don’t know how I feel about Jamie moving out. It feels sudden, but it shouldn’t. I mean, he’s twenty-six and a grown man. But I’m going to miss him.”

  She looked up into his eyes and found patience and understanding there. “I also don’t know how I feel about moving out of the only bedroom I’ve ever known. Mark made it sound like a big deal that I’ll have my own room, but I’m going to miss Cindy. After we lost Mamm last year, we stayed awake for hours some nights, crying and talking about how much we missed her. If I wake up in the middle of the night now, I’ll be all alone.”

  She covered her face with both hands as embarrassment crawled up her neck to her cheeks. “Things are just changing too quickly. I’m still adjusting to not having mei mamm around, and now I feel like I’m going to lose my siblings. I’m not ready for this.” Her voice was muffled by her palms. “That sounds so immature and stupid.”

  “No, it doesn’t.” He pulled her hands away from her face. “Change can be scary, especially when it’s unexpected. You and I both know that really well.”

  She nodded, any further words she might say stuck in her throat.

  “I’m sure everything will be just fine for Jamie.” He grinned. “You’ll see him all the time, especially if he doesn’t have anyone else to cook for him. I imagine it will seem like he never moved out, and in a couple of weeks you’ll find yourself asking him when he’s going to start acting like a man who has his own place.”

  She laughed. “You’re probably right.”

  “I’m also sure you and Cindy will keep having your middle-of-the-night talks. You’ll just have to visit in each other’s rooms.” His smile faded. “You don’t ever have to feel like you can’t talk to me.”

  “Danki.”

  They studied each other for a moment, and then something she couldn’t decipher flashed across his face. He pushed back his chair and stood.

  “I should get to work.” He started for the mudroom. But when he’d almost reached it, he turned back. “Danki for going with me today to see Irma Mae.”

  “Gern gschehne. I enjoyed it.”

  As he turned to go, she suddenly remembered what she wanted to ask him.

  “Allen,” she called. He turned around. “Would you like to have supper with my family tonight? They would all love to see you and Mollie.”

  “Oh, no thanks.” He shook his head. “You go home for supper, and Mollie and I will figure something out on our own.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders sagged. “I’d love for you to come.”

  “Danki, but it’s fine. I’ll see you and your family on Sunday at church.”

  “That’s right.” She stood. “I’ll make you supper before I leave tonight.”

  He shook his head. “You don’t need to do that. Just give me a couple of hours to work, and then you can go home. I was going to take the whole afternoon off, but I think I better get a few things done in the shop.”

  “That would be fine.”

  As he headed out the door, Laura tried to brush away sudden guilt. But how could she feel good about leaving Allen and Mollie without preparing their supper? Yet she had to abide by Allen’s wishes, no matter how keenly she felt Savilla would want her to stay.

  TEN

  Curiosity filled Laura as she climbed the back-porch steps and heard loud voices floating out of the windows. While her family was naturally loud, it sounded as if half of their church district was in her house tonight.

  She entered through the mudroom and stopped in the doorway to the kitchen as she took in the crowd seated around the table—Kayla, her brothers, her sister, and her father. And to her surprise, Rudy.

  Although the group wasn’t large, they were loud and festive as they talked and laughed. Platters of fried chicken, a bowl of corn, and a basket of rolls cluttered the center of the table, and the delicious aromas filled her senses.

  “Laura!” Dat sang out when he saw her. “I’m so froh you’re home. Have a seat. Jamie has some news.” He gestured toward the only empty chair at the table, across from Mark and between Rudy and Cindy.

  Laura let her tote bag drop to the floor, and then she sat down beside Rudy, who gave her a tentative nod. “Hi,” she said, keeping her voice low. “It’s gut to see you.”

  “Mark called and invited me over.”

  “I’m glad you came.” She studied his dark eyes, searching for any sign of irritation. She hoped he wasn’t still annoyed with her after their discussion on Wednesday.

  “Laura.” Mark’s voice sliced through her thoughts. “You need to hear Jamie’s news.”

  “Oh.” Laura looked over at Jamie, who was smiling at Kayla. “What’s your news?”

  “I asked Kayla to marry me today,” Jamie announced with a wide grin.

  “We’re celebrating,” Kayla said. Her grin was even wider.

  “Really?” Laura glanced around the table as disappointment knocked the smile off her face. “I missed your engagement celebration? I should have come home sooner. I’m sorry.”

  “The celebration is still going on. You haven’t missed a thing,” Kayla said. Laura knew she was just being nice, but she smiled anyway. “I’m so froh for you both!” She clapped her hands. “When is the big day?”

  “The first Thursday in December.” Kayla beamed as she turned toward Jamie.

  “Oh my goodness. That will be here soon.” Laura leaned forward. “How did he ask you?”

  “He surprised me at work today.” Kayla bumped her shoulder against Jamie’s. “He told me he needed to talk to me, so we went into the back room. He was so naerfich I was afraid he was going to break up with me.”

  Everyone laughed as Jamie shook his head.

  “And then he asked me to marry him.” Kayla’s cornflower-blue eyes shimmered as Jamie threaded his fingers in hers. “And I said yes.”

  “I’m so grateful you did,” Jamie said, and they looked as if they were having a private conversation with their eyes.

  “That’s amazing.” Laura took a deep breath. While she was overjoyed for Jamie and Kayla, she also was aware of the anxiety creeping into her chest. Jamie was getting married. Her family was morphing and growing, and they didn’t have Mamm to guide them through all the challenges coming at them at full speed.

  “You should eat.” Rudy pointed to Laura’s empty plate.


  “Oh, right.” Laura had been so immersed in Jamie’s news she’d forgotten it was suppertime. She bowed her head in silent prayer and then put some of everything on her plate.

  “Jamie, do you have enough help for tomorrow?” Rudy asked. “Mark mentioned on the phone that tomorrow is the day, but I can’t get off work. I was hoping to help you, but we’re short-staffed at the store right now. One of my cousins went to Florida for a week, and I have to cover his shift. I’m sorry I can’t be here.”

  “Oh, that’s fine. Danki for trying to get the day off, but I’ve got it covered. Noah, Leon, Mark, and I can handle it.” Jamie took a drink from his glass of water.

  “I haven’t committed to actually helping you yet,” Mark teased. “I might be busy washing my hair.”

  Jamie rolled his eyes, and Rudy snickered.

  “I had really hoped to help you,” Rudy said.

  “Don’t feel bad about it,” Jamie told him. “I don’t have that much to move.”

  “Laura.” Kayla leaned forward and gestured to her and Cindy. “I told Cindy I’d like to have you both as attendants in my wedding. Jamie is going to have Mark, Noah, and Nathan, and it would mean a lot to me if you, Cindy, and Eva would be my attendants.”

  Tears pricked at Laura’s eyes. “I’d be honored. Danki, Kayla.”

  “Ya, I’d love to,” Cindy said, her blue eyes glistening. “Danki for asking us.”

  “Of course I want you to be in the wedding. We’re going to be schweschdere.” Kayla served herself a slice of ham. “I have a lot to do. This was so unexpected. I’d hoped he’d ask soon, but I didn’t think it would be this summer.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Cindy commented.

  “Really?” Kayla turned toward her.

  Cindy nodded. “It just seemed like a natural progression since you’re both so froh. If you need help making the dresses, just let us know. I can pitch in.”

  “Danki.”

  “Cindy, are you still busy with that quilt you were going to make for Sara Glick?” Laura asked.

  “I finished last night. Sara picked it up this afternoon,” Cindy said.

  “You finished the quilt?” Laura set down her fork. “I didn’t get to see it before you gave it to her. When I left Wednesday morning, you were still working on it.”

  “It’s okay. It came out pretty well.”

  “It was wunderbaar, Cindy,” Dat chimed in from the other end of the table. “Tell the truth.”

  Cindy shrugged and looked down at her plate.

  Laura frowned as disappointment crowded her pride in Cindy’s work. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get to see it.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Cindy insisted. “I’ll make sure you see the next one.”

  “How’s Irma Mae doing, Laura?” Kayla asked. “Jamie told me she’s been in a rehabilitation center for a couple of weeks now.”

  “She’s doing better. Allen and I took Mollie to visit her today.” Laura was almost certain she sensed Rudy’s body go rigid when she mentioned Allen’s name. So he was still upset with her. She dreaded what more he might have to say to her later.

  “Did you say Irma Mae is doing well?” Dat asked.

  “Ya, she is. Allen and I took Mollie to see her today. She has a long way to go. She has to heal and build her strength, but her spirits are gut.” Laura took a bite of ham.

  “That’s great news,” Mark commented.

  “How’s Mollie?” Kayla asked.

  “She’s wunderbaar.” Laura couldn’t stop a smile. “I’m really enjoying taking care of her.”

  When they were done eating, the men went outside to talk on the porch while the three women cleaned the kitchen.

  “How did your family take the news?” Laura asked as she scrubbed a sticky platter.

  “The news about my engagement?” Kayla looked up from sweeping the floor.

  Laura laughed. “Ya, the news about your engagement. What else would I ask about?”

  Cindy snickered as she finished drying a dish and then set it in a cabinet.

  “Right.” Kayla laughed as she turned toward the mudroom, where a window beside the screen door was opened to the porch. “They were really, really froh. They all love Jamie and your family.” She looked back at Laura and Cindy. “I was thinking about blue dresses for the wedding. What do you think?”

  Cindy nodded. “That would be schee with your eyes.”

  “And your eyes too.”

  “But it’s your day,” Cindy insisted. “We’re just grateful to be a part of it.”

  “Are you going to come over tomorrow to help Jamie move?”

  “I have to work at the restaurant, but I’ll try to get off early. I’m going to go to church with you on Sunday, though.”

  “That’s gut.” Laura rinsed the platter and set it in the drainboard. “I’d love to spend time with you. I don’t see you much anymore. I miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” Kayla said as she swept crumbs into her dustpan.

  Once done, they went out to the porch. Kayla sat down beside Jamie on the glider when Mark stood and hopped up on the porch railing. While Dat stood beside Mark, Cindy slipped into a rocking chair on one end of the porch, and Laura dropped into a rocking chair next to Rudy’s straight-back chair.

  Laura folded her hands in her lap as she listened to the men discuss their farms and businesses. She glanced at Rudy and took in his rigid demeanor. He was staring at Mark, and his back and shoulders looked as if someone had poured steel down his spine. The slight smile on his handsome face seemed disingenuous.

  She pressed her lips together and looked down at her hands as her mind filled with images of Allen and Mollie. Would Allen get any sleep tonight without her there to care for Mollie if she cried during the night? She worried at the thought of Mollie missing her, screaming for her.

  “Right, Laura?”

  “What?” Her head snapped up, and she sensed every set of eyes trained on her face.

  “I said you’re probably going to work for Allen tomorrow,” Dat said.

  “Oh, no, I’m not.” Laura shook her head.

  “You’re not?” Rudy’s eyes were focused on hers now.

  “No, he’s going to close his shop tomorrow. He said he didn’t need my help until Monday.” Laura gripped the arms of the rocking chair as she moved it back and forth.

  “How is he doing?” Jamie asked.

  “He’s fine. Mollie is still a little out of sorts, but I think she misses Irma Mae. Even little ones can sense stress and change, but I’m trying to help. She likes it when I rock her and sing to her. It seems to be the only way to calm her down.”

  Rudy continued to watch her, his intense gaze burrowing into hers when she looked his way.

  “That’s really sweet,” Kayla chimed in. “Junior likes it when Eva sings to him too,” she said referring to her sister-in-law and nephew. “I love watching her sing to him. It’s adorable how he cuddles up to her.”

  “Mollie does that too. She snuggles right up to my neck.” Laura grinned. “She’s the sweetest boppli.”

  The conversation turned to other topics, and soon the sun began to set.

  After a while, Kayla stood and held out her hand to Jamie. “It’s getting late. I think you should take me home.”

  “Ya, you’re right.” Jamie jumped up and stretched.

  “Gut nacht.” Kayla gave Dat, Mark, and Rudy a little wave.

  Laura stood and hugged her. “I’m so froh for you. I can’t wait for you to be mei schweschder.”

  “Danki.” Kayla squeezed her tight. “I can’t wait either. I’ll see you Sunday.”

  After giving Cindy a hug, Kayla took Jamie’s hand, and they walked side by side down the porch steps and toward his horse and buggy.

  “I’m going to go to bed. Gut nacht,” Cindy announced before heading into the house.

  “I’ll go check on the animals.” Mark grabbed a lantern.

  “I’ll come with you,” Dat said as they started down the step
s.

  Laura took a deep breath when she realized she and Rudy were the only two left on the porch. When he turned toward her, she hoped their conversation would at least be less tense than it was on Wednesday. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

  “I couldn’t wait until Sunday to see you, so when Mark called . . .”

  She smiled. “That’s really sweet.”

  “So things at Allen’s haus are going well?”

  “Ya. Fine.”

  “I’m assuming you stayed there the last two nights.”

  She nodded. “I did. I slept in a spare bed in Mollie’s room, and I was up with her both nights.”

  “Who else knows you’re staying overnight at his haus?”

  “No one. Why?” She searched his eyes, wishing she could read his thoughts. “What are you worried about?”

  A muscle flexed in his jaw, and he turned his attention to her father’s pasture.

  “Talk to me, Rudy,” she said, nearly begging. “What’s bothering you?”

  He continued to stare out toward the darkness.

  “Please look at me. We need to talk this out.” She held up her hand as her body quaked with billowing tension. “We’ve been together for a long time. Let’s work this out and not let it come between us.”

  “Fine. I’ll tell you what’s bothering me. I’m not comfortable with my girlfriend spending the night at another man’s haus. It gives people the wrong impression about you.”

  “It gives people the wrong impression? What do you mean?”

  He gave her an arrogant smirk. “You know what I mean.”

  She was stunned silent as she stared at him. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am.”

  “But this is Allen we’re talking about. When Savilla was alive, the four of us spent a lot of time together. You know him. He’s one of your gut freinden.”

  “That doesn’t matter. If word gets back to the bishop that you’re staying over at Allen’s haus, you could get into trouble.”

  “No.” She shook her head as wetness overtook her eyes. “I don’t believe that. The bishop will understand the situation. Irma Mae is hurt, and Allen needs help. No one has any reason to believe there’s anything inappropriate going on between us. Allen isn’t even permitted to date until a year after Savilla has been gone, and I’m already your girlfriend.”