by Amy Clipston
Rudy hesitated, and her heart fractured a little. Did he love her at all?
Mollie cried out, and Laura spun toward the barn where Allen was still talking with the men. Allen adjusted Mollie in his arms, and she settled down, resting her cheek on his shoulder.
“It’s time for her nap,” she whispered.
“Unbelievable,” Rudy muttered as he climbed into the buggy.
She turned toward him. “What did you say?”
“I said unbelievable.” He slammed the buggy door. “You don’t even realize how attached you are to Mollie. It’s like I’ve said before. It’s as if you’re her mamm.”
“What do you mean this time?” She stepped over to the buggy.
“During the service, the way he handed Mollie off to you, you and Allen looked like a married couple. Then you held her against your chest like a mamm during the rest of the service. I heard someone behind me ask if Savilla had been gone a year yet and if you and Allen were engaged.”
“Are you serious?” Her stomach seemed to drop to her knees.
“Ya, I am serious.” He scowled. “Do you have any idea how it felt to have someone wonder if my girlfriend is engaged to another man?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re really going to act surprised?”
“I am surprised. I thought people knew I was helping Allen while Irma Mae was healing from her accident. I’ve held Mollie during church services before.”
“Today was the first time you and Allen handed her off during the church service like a married couple.” His smile was wry. “Maybe you should have thought about how other people perceive you before you put on that display for the entire congregation to see.”
She stared at him, taking in his furious eyes and deep scowl. “You’re angry with me because someone else misinterpreted my friendship with Allen?”
“You need to stop acting so naïve, Laura. It’s getting old.” He grabbed the reins. “I’m going to the youth gathering. I’ll see you later.”
Before she could respond, Rudy guided the horse down the driveway toward the road. Her body trembled as her emotional conversation with Rudy echoed through her mind. She needed someone to talk to, someone to help her sort through her confusing feelings, and she could always count on her twin to be honest with her.
She turned toward Mark’s buggy and spotted him leaning against it while still talking to Franey and Ruthann. With his arms folded over his chest and a wide grin on his face, he said something and then laughed as the eager young women giggled. Mark was hard at work flirting. He didn’t need her to interrupt his fun with her emotional turmoil.
Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath to quell her raging emotions and walked over to where her father still stood with Jamie, Noah, and Allen. She plastered a smile on her face as she approached. “Hi.”
“Laura.” Dat smiled. “I thought you were going to the youth gathering with Rudy and Mark.”
“No, I decided I’d rather go home with you and relax.” Her gaze landed on Allen, and his kind eyes studied her. She found encouragement and possibly even understanding there, and the tension in her shoulders and back released. Could he sense her emotions the way Mark could? No, that was impossible. Allen wasn’t her twin or even her brother. But then why did his expression calm her the way Mark’s could?
She shoved the thoughts away and turned back to her father. “Did Cindy say she wanted to come home too?”
“Ya, I believe she did.” Dat pivoted toward the house. “I think she was in the kitchen. Would you mind going to find her?”
“No, not at all.” She said good-bye to Jamie and Noah and then touched Mollie’s arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Mollie yawned and rubbed her eyes before burying her face in Allen’s shoulder.
“She’s ready for her nap,” Allen said.
“I see that.” She looked up at him. “Bye.”
“Have a restful afternoon.”
“You too.”
As Laura walked toward the house, she tried to redirect her thoughts to her afternoon, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what Rudy had said to her. Were he and Mark right when they said she was getting too attached to Mollie? Was this attachment going to damage Mollie when Irma Mae did come back to care for her? She never wanted to hurt Mollie, but she also didn’t know how to let her go.
And the real question? How could she let Allen go?
TWENTY-THREE
“Danki for coming by my shop.” Allen shook the customer’s hand. “I hope your sohn enjoys the buggy.”
“I’m certain he will. Have a gut day.” The man climbed into the flat bed where the buggy was loaded, and then his diesel truck rattled down the rock driveway.
When a horse and buggy came up the driveway, Allen stepped out of the shop and walked over to greet the customer. The morning sun was bright as a warm early October breeze brushed his cheeks.
The driver halted the horse in front of a hitching post, just outside the shop.
“Gude mariye,” Allen called as the Amish man climbed out of his buggy.
“Gude mariye,” John Smucker, his church district’s bishop, responded as he tied his horse to the hitching post. It had been two weeks since Allen attended the service in the Smuckers’ barn. At sixty-seven, John had salt-and-pepper hair and a matching beard. He stood several inches shorter than Allen and had a rotund waist and bright, intelligent hazel eyes.
“John.” Allen tried to mask his surprise as he shook the bishop’s hand. “It’s so nice to see you. What brings you out here today?”
“I was wondering if I could speak with you.” John’s expression was friendly, but worried knots still filled Allen’s gut.
“Absolutely.” Allen made a sweeping gesture toward his shop. “We can sit in my office. Would you like a bottle of water?”
“Oh, no danki.” John followed Allen into the office.
Allen gestured for him to sit in the desk chair while he pulled up a stool. “What can I do for you?”
As John paused and fingered his beard, the knots in Allen’s gut fused into heavy balls of lead.
“There have been some concerns in the district,” John finally said.
“Okay.” Allen rested his work boots on the rung of the stool as his throat dried. “What has been the concern?”
John pressed his lips together. “It has been brought to my attention that Laura Riehl has been spending the night in your haus for quite some time. Is that true?”
Allen swallowed. So this is it. “Ya, that’s true. She’s been staying to help me with Mollie since August. Mollie started crying out in the middle of the night after Irma Mae had her accident. At times she cried for hours, and it was too much for me to handle along with running my business. Laura sleeps in Mollie’s room and soothes her if she wakes up. She’s only here to take care of Mollie.”
John nodded slowly as if contemplating Allen’s words. “I understand you’ve been through a difficult time, and you’re only trying to take care of your boppli and run your business. However, you do realize how inappropriate it is for Laura to stay over when you’re not married, right?”
Allen’s stomach twisted. “I do see how this could be perceived, but Laura is working as my nanny, and I’m paying her. It’s strictly platonic, and Irma Mae is doing really well. She’s looking forward to returning. I’ll need Laura’s help for only a couple more weeks.” Saying the words aloud made him dread that day.
“I understand, but is there a chance Laura could work for you without staying overnight?”
“Ya, but I really don’t understand why there’s a problem.” Allen gestured toward his house. “I have five bedrooms, and there’s nothing inappropriate going on between us. She and I have been freinden for years. She was mei fraa’s best freind.”
John frowned. “I’m aware, but some rumors have been circulating, and I wanted to say something to you before this becomes even more of an issue.”
“Rumors?
” Allen sat up straight. “What kind of rumors?”
“You know I abhor gossip because of how destructive and sinful it is. Yet sometimes there’s a bit of truth buried deep in it.” John rested his folded hands on the desk. “A couple of weeks ago, after the church service, a church member expressed concern about your relationship. Then another member told me Laura has been staying over for more than two months. After church on Sunday, the concerns were raised to me again.”
“Wait a minute.” Allen held up his hand as irritation swept through him. “Why would someone express concern about my relationship with Laura after a church service?”
“There is a perception that your relationship is more than just friendly.”
“Why would someone perceive us that way?”
“I suppose it’s because of how you interact at church. Mollie is very attached to Laura, and someone commented that you act as if you’re married.”
Anger shoved Allen off the stool, and he stood in front of the desk. “Why would someone say that? Mollie is attached to Laura because Laura takes gut care of her. We don’t act like we’re married. We’re just gut freinden who happen to both love mei dochder.”
John held up his hands as if to tame Allen’s ire. “I understand. You don’t need to get upset. But you know how people in any community can talk. I’m only here to warn you before the rumors get out of hand.”
“I don’t understand why members of my church district would talk that way about Laura.” Allen’s body shook with frustration. “They’ve known her since she was a kind. Why would they assume she’s having an inappropriate relationship with me?”
“I agree. I’ve known Laura since she was born, and she’s a gut maedel from a gut family. However, I think it’s in your best interest and Laura’s best interest if she only works for you during the day. Like you said, Irma Mae is getting better, and she’ll be back soon.”
Allen looked out the window toward his house and lifted his straw hat. He pushed his hand through his thick hair and tried in vain to calm his simmering temper. “I still don’t understand why anyone would assume the worst about Laura.”
“I’m here to stop the rumors. Please sit, Allen.”
Allen sat down on the stool.
“I know you, and I know Laura. You would never disrespect Laura or put her reputation in jeopardy.”
Allen frowned. “I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“That’s why I’m suggesting Laura only work for you during the day.” John’s expression brightened. “I’ve instructed the people who came to me to stop the rumors from spreading, and I told them I would make sure this situation is resolved. It’s best for you and for Laura if you stop giving people the wrong impression.”
Allen rubbed his shoulder where a new knot of tension throbbed. “I just don’t understand why this is such a big deal. Irma Mae stayed overnight to care for Mollie. Laura is Mollie’s nanny.”
“But Irma Mae is family, and Laura is not. Plus it would be different if you had hired a grandmotherly nanny to come and stay overnight rather than a young, unmarried woman like Laura.”
Allen opened his mouth to protest and say that Laura was, in fact, family to him. But then he closed it.
“Do you agree Laura should not stay overnight?” John asked.
“Ya.” Allen nodded, despite his disagreement. “Danki for making me aware of the rumors.”
“Gern gschehne.” John pointed toward the driveway. “Did I see a customer leaving with a buggy?”
“Ya, he bought it for his sohn.”
“Your business has been booming lately.”
“It has.” Allen stretched out his legs. “I sold three buggies last week. I’ve sold two so far this week, and it’s only Wednesday.”
“That’s wunderbaar.”
When the bishop had gone, Allen closed up his shop and headed into the mudroom. The house was quiet, and he walked through the first floor. It was empty. He climbed the stairs, and the hum of the sewing machine filled the stairwell and grew louder as he made his way to the top. He glanced into Mollie’s bedroom and found her sleeping in her crib. Then he padded past two spare rooms to the sewing room.
When he reached the doorway, he stopped and leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. He drank in Laura’s profile as she worked at the sewing table. Her eyes were focused on the gray shirt she was mending. Her pretty brow wrinkled as if she were deep in concentration on her task. He admired her high cheekbones, her long, slender neck, and her slight shoulders. She was beautiful.
And then the bishop’s words echoed in his mind.
I suppose it’s because of how you interact at church. Mollie is very attached to Laura, and someone commented that you act as if you’re married.
And then realization punched him in his gut. Did his overwhelming admiration for and attraction to Laura give their community the wrong idea about their relationship? He had to get his emotions under control. Any inappropriate feelings for her were disrespectful both to her and to Savilla.
“Allen?”
He snapped out of his mental tirade and stepped into the room. “Hi.”
She frowned. “Is it lunchtime already?” She looked at the clock on the desk. “Oh, it’s only 10:45.” She turned back to him. “Is something wrong?”
“I was wondering if we could talk.”
“Oh.” She spun on the bench, facing him as he pulled a chair over to the table and sat down across from her. “What do you want to talk about?”
“The bishop was just here to see me.”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
“Apparently there has been some gossip about us, and John feels you should stop staying overnight here. He’s concerned about the perception of our relationship.”
Her mouth twisted into a frown. “Why do people always assume the worst? You need me here, and Mollie needs me. We can’t allow what others say to dictate what we do. The members of the community just don’t understand our situation. Did you explain you need me to help you so you can get your rest and run your carriage shop?”
A smile overtook Allen’s lips, and her dark eyebrows drew together.
“What’s so funny?”
He grinned. “I just remembered something Savilla once said to me.”
“What did she say?”
“She said all the Riehl kinner are stubborn, and she was right.”
“You think I’m stubborn?” She sat up straighter and gestured around the room. “I’m just stating the facts. You need me to take care of Mollie until Irma Mae is well enough to do it, and that’s what I’m doing. Did you explain that to John?”
He leaned his elbow on the sewing table. “I tried to, but he had some gut points. I can’t risk your reputation.”
Her dark eyebrows drew together again. “My reputation?”
“I can’t risk folks thinking you’re someone you’re not. Irma Mae is getting better every day. She looked great on Sunday when Milton brought her to church. I’m sure she’ll be back here soon. I can manage at night until she’s back.”
“I’m worried about you. You need your rest.”
His heart warmed at her words. “I appreciate that, but I can’t risk hurting you. I’ll be fine. I’ll close up my shop at five, and you can eat supper with Mollie and me or go home. It’s up to you. I’ll pay my driver to pick you up in the morning.”
She hesitated. “I don’t know.”
“You mentioned the other day that Mollie hasn’t cried out at night for a month. I think she’s been back on her regular schedule for a while now. So, honestly, it isn’t necessary for you to stay over anymore.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I guess I just got used to it. I suppose I’m just as attached to Mollie as she is to me. It’s probably better that I go back home at night so she can start adjusting to not having me around. It’s going to be tough on her when Irma Mae comes back, and I don’t want to hurt her emotionally.”
“Exactly. Just tell me what time you
want to come over. My driver can take you home at night too.”
She shook her head. “I can’t let you spend that money. Mark can bring me over in the morning, and I’ll have him pick me up.”
“No. Mark has enough to do on your dat’s farm. I insist on paying for your rides. It’s the right thing to do.”
She frowned. “Fine.”
He suppressed another smile. She was adorable when she was irritated. But she was Rudy’s girlfriend. His stomach soured at the memory of Rudy’s cruel words the night of Mollie’s party.
“Penny for your thoughts.” She leaned closer to him.
“How are things with Rudy? Have they gotten better?”
Her expression clouded as she looked down at her lap. “No, not really.”
His jaw tightened as he leaned closer to her. “What’s going on?”
“I really need to finish repairing this shirt for you.” She turned back toward the sewing machine. “I noticed it was ripped when I was doing laundry yesterday.” She arranged the shirt under the machine.
“Laura.” He rested his hand on her shoulder.
She spun toward him again and took a deep breath. “He said he was going to work at being a better boyfriend. I admitted I wasn’t being a gut girlfriend, and I’ve tried to fix things. I’ve made more time for him, and I’ve tried to be more attentive when we’re together. He’s tried to, but I haven’t seen him make any real changes.” She glanced up at him, and her eyes glittered. “I think things are worse.”
“Worse how?” Alarm threaded through his veins. If Rudy hurt her . . .
“He’s been angry with me because I refused to go to the youth gatherings with him the past couple of weeks, but I just want to spend time with my family on Sundays.” She sniffed. “It’s like we’ve grown apart and we have nothing in common anymore. I don’t know how to relate to him, and he doesn’t know how to relate to me.”
“All your problems with Rudy are because of me, aren’t they?”
She hesitated.
“You can be honest with me. I can sense his jealousy when we’re at church. I see him frowning when you hold Mollie or when you talk to me.” Allen touched his chest. “I don’t want to be the reason you break up.”
