by W. Ferraro
“Answering one question, I guess would be the least I could do considering what I’m asking,” she said, as she thought how easy it would be to just lean a little toward him and make his position go from casual to intimate in one swoop.
“You need to answer it honestly. If you want to give your mother comfort in such a way, that would not involve sex. You specifically asked me to have sex with you. Why?”
“That’s fair enough.” Natalie felt as if all the air had left her lungs. She didn’t know if she would be able to speak the words, but if he was even considering going through with this then she would have to be completely honest.
Dylan, for a moment, thought she was not going to answer the question when she moved her hand up and straightened her glasses. He watched once again, as she made sure she commanded calmness before speaking.
“I’m, as you can see, quite plain and physically lacking. So needless to say, I’ve never been in an actual relationship or therefore experienced any sort of sexual encounter or familiarity. I want to know what it’s like to be held in a man’s arms and to know I’m wanted both romantically and physically. Hence, if I am going to engage in such an affair, I want to make sure it’s full of occurrences and know-how that I can carry with me when I truly am alone.” Natalie watched, as again he gave no sort of physical reaction to her words. A part of her boldness chipped away knowing that not only had she made a complete fool of herself but that she came across as completely pitiful and pathetic.
She just admitted she is a pure, untouched virgin? Good God! Here he was being a bastard, contemplating completely inappropriate thoughts of how naughty and dirty she might be. God help him, he was intrigued.
Feeling as if she could not take his scrutiny any more, she rose from her seat, grabbed her small bag and tried for a hasty retreat. She got about five feet away, when she felt a large hand grab her upper arm and halt her progress.
“Wait, Natalie, I’m not judging you. It’s just a lot to take in. I need time to think about your offer,” Dylan said, as he looked down into those large eyes again. Eyes that looked as if he held the key to some sort of magic box.
“Of course. I’m sure this is not what you were planning on when you came out to enjoy your evening,” Natalie said, just wanting to flee.
“Can you give me until tomorrow night?”
“Yes, that would be fine. Shall we meet here again at say nine o’clock; either to part ways or to work out details of how to proceed,” Natalie said softly as if she was speaking only to her own conscience.
“Sure, that will do, until then Natalie,” Dylan answered, as he let go of her arm and watched her leave.
Dylan found himself standing there in the now deserted room looking at the door; pondering how his evening’s itinerary changed so drastically. He wondered what it must have taken for Natalie to feel she had to offer a man she didn’t know such an opportunity and proposal. He suddenly could not help but question if he were really lucky or ultimately just accused of not having any ethics or decency at all.
Dylan didn’t sleep worth a damn last night; all he could think of was how Natalie looked as she offered herself up, both emotionally and physically, in such a casual way. What would cause a person like Natalie, to feel such poor self-image? To feel her only option was to pay for something when she could just obtain the real thing. The same questions remained unanswered as much now as they did last night.
Dylan pulled his truck into the job site and saw the large blue diesel parked in front of the trailer. As he walked into the onsite office, he was met with honest to God happiness and actual whistling coming from his friend and business partner, Seth Finn.
Dylan slammed the trailer door shut behind him just to express his current aggression regarding Natalie’s offer. The bang caused Seth to kill the tune and turn from where he stood toward Dylan’s angered entrance.
“Well, good morning to you too, Sunshine. How are you this morning?” Seth asked, wondering why Dylan was wound so tight.
“Not in the mood for your constant display of genuine happiness,” Dylan spat out, as he walked by Seth and sat down behind the small desk that was currently his.
“What can I say; love, marriage, and happiness suit me,” Seth responded, with a wide smile outlined by his copper goatee.
Seth Finn had known Dylan for over thirty years. They grew up together and had been there for each other ever since. They had been in business together for almost twenty years. Dylan was the first one to pitch that they should go into business for themselves and with Seth’s young family it was a hard sell; but Dylan was sure they could make a go of it. Now they were one of the top contracting companies in New England. They employed over one hundred and fifty people and had current jobs in three states, including a soon to open hotel a few towns over. Along with their friend Wes, who could also claim friendship spanning three decades, there wasn’t much they hadn’t gone through together. Seth would forever be in both Dylan and Wes’ debt for pulling him out of a smoldering abyss when Seth’s first wife passed away. Then again when they stepped up and made sure he grabbed on with both hands to his now wife, Mae, when their whirlwind fairytale romance almost crumbled.
Knowing that Seth didn’t deserve the reaction or sarcasm Dylan dished out, Dylan looked at the man he was proud to call a true friend. He leaned back in the creaking chair and crossed his arms across his chest.
“Sorry, just a shit night, I didn’t get much sleep. I was at Cal’s last night, happily swindling Wes out of some fresh bills, when I met someone who offered me a double-edged sword of a situation. Regardless of my decision, they both have the potential for an unforgivable outcome for all involved.”
Seth took the green vinyl chair opposite the desk in the small trailer. His large form made the trailers interior even that much smaller. He knew something was really off, if whatever this situation consisted of was causing Dylan such unrest. Dylan was a brilliant business man; he had an uncanny sense of looking at all angles before making any decision. And the decisions Dylan made were, by and large, extremely lucrative or great business sense.
“Sounds like a true rock and a hard place,” Seth answered, not envious of Dylan’s conundrum.
Wanting to keep Natalie’s identity and proposal details confidential, Dylan could not say exactly what he wanted but still needed to get across the distress he felt over it.
“I have a feeling if I decide not to partake; she will go to the next in line. At least if we are the two involved, I know what she’s getting,” Dylan said, hoping he wasn’t giving too much away. Safe is what he wanted to say, at least if he was the one who signed on for this, he would know that she would not get hurt.
Knowing that the angst coming from Dylan was genuine, Seth still could not help but smirk at his friend’s dilemma. “So the other party is female.” It was a statement rather than a question.
Thinking of Natalie, Dylan recalled her feminine appearance. Dylan knew he was far from perfect, but never have nor would Dylan Cross take advantage or put a woman, any woman, in a position that had the potential to be harmful for her. He thought of her small body and he could not help but consider how they would fit together and if she would be quiet or vocal when she climaxed.
The irony of Dylan’s current distress was not lost on Seth. For as long as Seth had known Dylan, he always had this ability to make anything female swoon. Seth recalled how all the girls used to follow Dylan around, and Dylan loved every moment of it. He was obsessed with the softer sex. Very little time went by that Dylan didn’t have some sort of female companionship. Every color, shape, and style of woman had been seen with Dylan at some point; he enjoyed each and every one of them. Knowing that a woman could cause Dylan such uneasiness, regardless of what was asked of him, was something Seth never thought he would see.
Dylan rubbed both his hands over his face and tried to put Natal
ie and her business arrangement mentally aside. He did not know how he was going to answer her yet; the ongoing consideration would just need to wait. Looking at Seth sitting across from him helped his brain shift into work mode. After they discussed the immediate improvement of timeline goals for the project since Jones’ departure, they talked about the business addendum of the fourth phase the owners wanted added to this housing development.
“So, I think hiring a new foreman needs to happen sooner rather than later, especially since the next phase completion date is for the end of the year,” Seth said, as he closed his briefcase and started toward the door.
“Yeah, I hear you. What do you think about promoting Tanner? I know he doesn’t have the time behind him but he’s got the experience and the drive for it. He is a hard worker, always arrives on time and is willing to pick up any overtime when and if it’s available. I’d like to give him a shot at it,” Dylan said, knowing down in his bones that Tanner was the right man for the job.
“I’m on board with that. You make the announcement. Once he has accepted, we’ll get him to the office to fill out the paperwork needed for payroll. Make it happen, D,” Seth said, as he opened the door and started to step out. Seth turned and stuck his head back through the open door, “Oh and about your earlier discussed business pitch from last night, you’ll make the right call D, just like you always do. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” With that, he stepped out and closed the door leaving Dylan with the silence of the trailer and the blare of his thoughts.
Natalie pulled into her driveway after leaving the school and noticed that Rose, the visiting nurse, was still there as well as her brother Sam’s Mercedes. Immediate thoughts that something happened with Gloria, flooded Natalie’s mind. She quickly grabbed her bags and rushed up the few stairs and into the front door. The sight and smell that greeted Natalie had her heart skipping a beat. Gloria was standing at the stove stirring a large pot that had the most delicious aroma coming from it.
“Mom, Sam, is everything alright? Mom, what are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? Really for such a bright girl, your lack of observation can be a bit annoying,” Gloria responded as she continued to stir her famous homemade tomato sauce. Natalie remembered helping Gloria make the same recipe when she was a little girl. The scent of oregano and garlic evoked the image of a long past day where Gloria would hold Natalie by the waist at the stove stirring the thick red sauce.
Natalie looked to where her middle brother lounged in one of the cracked vinyl swivel chairs that surrounded the small kitchen table. He looked so out of place sitting there amongst the outdated furnishings in his five hundred dollar suit. Natalie was sure his purple tie cost more than what she made in one day of teaching. He didn’t give anything away as he returned her gaze.
“Let me rephrase, what made you want to make your Gloria Parker famous sauce?” Natalie said, noting Gloria looked tired and the obvious work to make the sauce was taking a toll.
“Natalie, Mom wanted to keep busy. Sitting in the chair was getting rather boring, so, this is how she decided to spend her day,” Rose said, sounding cheery as she kept close watch over her patient looking for any sign of distress.
“Oh Rose, be honest. I said if I croak tonight, I want to make sure Natalie will have enough to eat. So I’m making sauce to stock the freezer. Natalie you haven’t been eating, some pasta and sauce will do you good and put some meat on your bones. How are you supposed to find someone looking like a skeleton?” Gloria bit out, emotionally dying a bit inside as the words left her mouth. Natalie needed to start focusing on herself, rather than taking care of Gloria day after day.
The verbal arrow hit its target dead on. Natalie pasted a happy smile on her face, kissed her mother’s cheek and said, “It smells fantastic! I can’t wait for dinner. Sam will you be joining us?” Her brother nodded his head and continued to read the paper that was draped out in front of him. Natalie looked back to her mother at the stove and said, “In fact, why don’t I run to the store and pick up some fresh bread and salad fixings. Be right back.” With that, she strived to make her feet not run and flee but rather walk slowly as if nothing was bothering her.
When Natalie reached her car door, the tears spilled over. She was just about to climb inside when Rose came running after her.
“Natalie, your mother doesn’t mean to be cruel, she’s just so fearful of dying and leaving you alone that she is lashing out. Everyone deals with their own mortality differently.”
“I know it isn’t the real her speaking, but nevertheless, it doesn’t take the sting out.”
“Your mother loves you so very much. She wants to make sure you are taken care of the way you deserve. She holds onto that and that is what gets her to get up in the morning. Only when she feels there will be someone there who’s worthy, will she succumb.”
“And that Rose, is what breaks my heart.”
“Natalie.” Sam called out as he too came down the porch steps and headed towards Natalie. Rose, wanting to give the siblings some privacy out of courteousness, back stepped and headed back up to the house and in to her patient.
Sam walked over to his sister and noticed she seemed upset. Sam hated to admit but he was not very close with Natalie; nor was Reggie. Chalk it up to the age gap; Reggie being ten years older and Sam being eight, they just never bonded and they had never been openly affectionate. Even since Natalie graduated college, and Sam offered her a good entry-level position in his advertising agency. He did not understand why she didn’t jump on board. She would be making five times what she was currently making, minimum. It was Sam’s opinion that Natalie just preferred to be ordinary and not strive for anything better. Teaching was an honorable profession, but let’s face it, she would never be able to swing a mortgage and monthly bills on her salary when the time came that she lived by herself.
“Look, Natalie, I’m not going to wait until the middle of dinner to spring this, I’m here because Mom has decided to take Reggie and me up on our offer. She moves into the Assisted Living Place in Minkton this weekend,” Sam finished, observing what he could only describe as fury in his sister’s gaze.
“What!?! No, she doesn’t want that. She wants to be in her own home. How many times does she have to tell you?” Natalie shouted, then looked toward the house for any sign Gloria knew of the outburst.
“Look, Mom came to this decision on her own, and we feel it’s the best. If you are worried about staying in the house, we know she isn’t going to ask you to vacate.”
Is he serious? Like the largest concern at the moment was whether she would have a place to live? Natalie had never wanted to hit someone as bad as she wanted to strike out at Sam right now. Maybe what Natalie had perceived as nonsense from Gloria, was really truly how she felt. No, that couldn’t be right, could it? Why, after all the times of saying no, did she now decide she wanted to make the move? Natalie felt as if the ground was opening up at her feet. She looked at her brother and thought, as familiar as his face was, the person behind it was foreign to her.
“If that is really what Mom wants, then of course, but I want to hear her say the words to me. And Sam, I truly appreciate the vote of confidence that my highest distress of the moment would be where I would lay my head at night.”
She needed to get away and get her thoughts and emotions in check, before she said anything else. Natalie climbed behind the wheel and pulled out of the driveway. She needed a diversion to the situation that was awaiting her after her run to the grocery store. As she drove, she could not help but focus on the answer she would receive tonight. Would Dylan really sign on for this production of a relationship? Would he be willing to fulfill the rest of her demands? Or would she have to find someone else? Someone less experienced. Natalie could not think that way, ever since she learned that the man she walked into was Dylan Cross, she prayed he would be a
greeable. She hoped he would give her the focus of something else that she desperately needed. That was the only thing giving Natalie the strength to get through the next five hours until their meeting.
~FIVE~
So, after cleaning up the mess from prep, cooking, and dinner, Natalie was sure she scrubbed every inch of the kitchen. She had to admit it was somewhat therapeutic to be able to get some of her frustration out in manual work. Sam made the announcement at dinner and Natalie thought for a moment that Gloria did not look happy. Then her mother went on and on about how it really was the right move for her. Natalie tried to get a read on her mother but Gloria would not make any eye contact after that. Gloria had announced that she would be going to stay at Sam’s for the next few nights, especially since there would be all the paperwork and such to fill out. Natalie offered to pack her a bag and to her surprise, Gloria told her that Rose had already done it. Natalie felt that Gloria was trying to put as much distance between them at the quickest possible speed. She refused to shed any tears but when she saw the Mercedes reverse out of the drive, with Gloria nestled in the front seat, she shut the door and cried; knowing it wasn’t right.
After showering and changing, she could not stay in the lonely quiet house another minute. She left a light on in the kitchen, as well as the outside porch light, and headed out to her car. Looking at the clock in the dash, she still had forty-five minutes to go until their agreed upon meeting time and it only took ten minutes to drive there. Natalie decided to go to the park area on the east side of the lake. She pulled in and noticed a few couples walking hand in hand on the paths. There was another couple sitting close on one of the park benches. Their silhouettes were cast by a nearby light pole making them look like one of those old vintage prints from when the soldiers returned from WWII.
As Natalie sat in her car and observed the private everyday moments of people in love, she began to wonder what it would be like. To do something as uneventful as walking a path, but feeling strength and warmth from a conjoined hand. To know if you wanted to just lean your head on a strong shoulder, it would be ok.
