Natasha's Awakening

by J. a Melville

  Natasha put her hand out noticing the bruises running up her arm and touched Eric’s face, her thumb wiping through his tears and he closed his eyes, one hand coming up to close over hers, pressing her palm against his cheek. An overwhelming surge of love for him flooded her body and all the words swirling around in her head started spilling from her lips.

  “I’m so sorry Eric. I’m sorry for not listening to you about the stairs. I resented you for insisting I use the lift. I just thought you were being overbearing and bossy about it, when I should have realised you were saying to use it to avoid this situation I’ve managed to get myself into now. I’m sorry for putting our babies at risk. I’m sorry for starting this whole thing. You were right, I let my insecurities take over and I convinced myself that you were seeing another woman. I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t be doing that to me. You’ve given me so many reasons to feel secure. You took me to Tasmania despite telling me that no woman had been there before. You took me into your home here and you’ve taken care of me. Even when you wouldn’t make love to me, I thought it was because you didn’t want me but I was the one who told you there would be no more sex. Then when I wanted sex, I convinced myself again that you wouldn’t touch me because you didn’t want me. I should have known you were just concerned about possibly hurting our babies and myself. Even though it meant putting your own needs aside.” She looked up at Eric, trying to gauge how he was receiving everything she was saying, but although his tears had stopped and he was watching her closely, he said nothing.

  Taking a deep breath and wincing when it caused a stab of pain through her head, she continued before she lost her nerve. “I’ve been so stupid Eric. I’ve got everything I could possibly want or need and yet I nearly threw it all away because of three little words that I thought would change everything when the reality is, I don’t need those three little words because you demonstrate every day that you care.” Natasha dropped her hand from Eric’s face and took his hand that lay on the bed, raising it to her lips.

  He was still so silent. His silence was making her nervous, but she’d come so far, she wasn’t stopping now. “I love you Eric. I realised I loved you in the hotel, but a part of me knows I loved you before then. I know I hated that you had all those different women. I would torture myself by looking at you in newspapers and online to see who the latest woman was on your arm. Our time together just brought it home to me how much I loved you. I love that I’m carrying your babies. I love you, so…damned…much.” She said punctuating her words as though that would make him absorb them better. “I don’t expect you to say those words to me. I used to but when you stormed out and I thought you were going to drive off so upset I finally realised I was being stupid holding my feelings for you inside, I had to tell you how I really feel. Even if you end up throwing them back in my face, I had to tell you. Finally I had to stop living in fear and just tell you, I love you.”

  Falling silent Natasha gazed anxiously at Eric’s face. He showed no emotion through her passionately spoken words and she felt her heart start to beat faster behind her breast. After moments that felt like hours, he finally cleared his throat and simply stared at her, his eyes moving over her face. “There’s something you need to know.” He said, his voice husky. “Something I wanted to share with you when the time was right but as you know, it all went to shit when I got home before your ultra sound. You wanted to know where I was? You asked why I had perfume on me?” Natasha felt her heart skip a beat, suddenly, a brief moment of fear flashed through her, that he was about to tell her there really was another woman.

  Eric watched the flash of emotions crossing Natasha’s face and saw what her admissions were costing her. “I could tell you what I needed Samantha’s help with but I think it would be just easier to show you.” He said. He tugged on his hand that Natasha was holding tightly in her grip. “I need to get up baby. Let me up for a moment. I’ll be right back.” He assured her and Natasha reluctantly released his hand, watching as he stood up and headed into the walk in closet.

  He was gone a couple of minutes before he returned to her, sitting down again. His hands were empty so she was confused as to what he’d meant, when he said he’d show her. He watched her for a moment and Natasha saw tension and fear cross his face. She felt her heart begin to beat even faster, the increased blood flow pumping through her head making it throb painfully, but she ignored the pain, waiting to see what he was going to say or do.

  With a deep sigh, he reached into his pocket withdrawing a small white, velvet covered box. At the sight of it her heart began to hammer almost painfully in her chest. She willed herself to calm down. It could be earrings for all she knew, not what her heart immediately hoped it was.

  Slowly Eric lifted the lid on the box and Natasha took her first look at what lay inside. It was a ring and god, what a ring it was. A huge square cut diamond with 4 smaller diamonds either side of it. It was an antique styled ring, elegant, beautiful all set into a white gold band. Her eyes rose to Eric’s as a part of her still wasn’t sure the ring was what she thought it was. He was smiling down at her, a warmth in his intense blue eyes like she’d never seen before. Well, she had actually, brief glimpses at times before it was gone again but this time the warmth of his gaze stayed, triggering an answering glow in hers.

  Eric took her left hand in his. ”This is what Samantha helped me with baby. This is why I was late today. I wanted to present you with it tonight after we’d seen our babies. The reason I had Samantha’s perfume on me is because she hugged me after we picked the ring baby. She was excited for me. She wished me luck that I would be able to coax you into marrying me.” He pulled the ring out of its box and slipped it onto her finger. The diamond was huge, spanning the width of her slender finger and it fit perfectly. Natasha turned her hand loving how beautiful it looked sitting on her finger. “So baby, are you going to make an honest man out of me? Will you marry me?”

  Natasha felt her heart burst with overwhelming love for this man who sat beside her, a trace of anxiety in his eyes as he waited for her to answer him. A wide smile lit up her face and she nodded. “Yes, oh god, yes Eric. I love you, of course I’ll marry you.” She said, watching as that slow sexy smile she knew so well spread over his face.

  He bent down his lips closing over hers and he kissed her slowly, carefully as if afraid to hurt her. When he released her lips and sat back up he grinned at her. “You want to know something?” He said and Natasha noticed a glimpse of tension in his eyes. “You talk about love, but you aren’t the first one to talk about love baby.” He said and Natasha’s eyes widened in surprise.

  “What do you mean Eric?” She asked.

  “I think you stole my heart a long time ago baby. I used to watch you around the office and all I could think about was you, even when I was with whatever girlfriend I had at the time. They were just empty shells compared to the woman you are. Then the chance came for our week away and you wanted to go. I mean, I knew there was some sort of attraction between us, but I never in a million years expected it to be the way it was. You have no idea how much it blew me away to find that you were a virgin.” He touched Natasha’s cheek when she blushed. “Don’t be embarrassed baby. I was in shock that you decided to give your virginity to me knowing the kind of person I was. How I couldn’t stay with one woman for very long, but then as the days passed I realised that I didn’t want our time together to end. The sex is amazing, you’re amazing and so beautiful. Then there was Bondi Beach and you have no idea how jealous I was over you and that idiot.” When he saw Natasha’s face, he smiled. “Ok, Brodie. You seemed so comfortable with him, more than you were with me and I hated it baby. You have no idea how much I just wanted to ram my fist in his face.”

  Natasha laughed. “Eric, he meant nothing to me. He’s a friend and he is very different to you, nowhere near as intense as you can be. It was nice to be able to laugh with him, but I had no interest in him, it was always you, it’s alwa
ys going to be you.” She told him.

  “I was scared baby, scared he might have the power to take you away from me. That’s why I suggested we go to Tasmania, to get you to myself and it was perfect there. That’s where you gave me this.” Eric held up his arm where the bracelet she’d bought him glinted on his wrist. “No one had given me anything before baby. I was completely overwhelmed by your generosity and plagued with guilt because if I hadn’t have been such an arse when you went out on your own, you would have given me the bracelet that night. I treated you so badly when you got back to the hotel and I forgot the condom which is why we’re now only a few months off becoming parents, and no, I’m not regretting that you’re pregnant. Yes I was terrified at first, but I hope you know how hard I’m going to try to be a good Father.” He said and Natasha smiled.

  “You’re going to be a wonderful Father Eric, I know it.” She replied.

  “Everything in Tasmania was perfect.” He continued. “Right up until our fight. I thought my heart had been ripped out of my chest when you said you were going. Ok, I know I was an arse about you possibly being pregnant, but I was terrified and you know why.”

  Natasha squeezed Eric’s hand. “Just because your Father was a bastard, that doesn’t mean you will be like him. You’re nothing like him.” She tried to reassure him.

  “I hope so baby. I still feel scared sometimes, but I’ll try damned hard to be the best Father I can.” He said and Natasha smiled at him, her love shining brightly in her eyes.

  “I know you will. If I had any doubts about you, do you think I’d be here?” She asked.

  “Well, I didn’t give you much of a choice baby. I kind of forced you into staying here.”

  Natasha laughed. “Yeah, my Mother was pretty keen on getting me here. She told me when I was in hospital that you loved me, but I didn’t believe her. I didn’t think you could love anyone let alone me.” She told him. “Damn, I should have listened to them Eric, even Maggie told me that you loved me, and to be patient with you. She told me not to give up on you and I did the very thing she begged me not to do. I gave up on you. I wouldn’t let myself trust you because I was so sure you’d end up hurting me. I was on my own path of self destruction. I think I had the idea in my head that you were going to let me down or leave me and some crazy part of me tried to drive you to do just that.” Natasha looked at Eric, her smile rueful.

  “I could have showed enough balls to tell you I loved you baby rather than waiting until you were asleep to tell you.” He admitted and Natasha gaped at him.

  “You told me you loved me? When we were in Tasmania, I was almost asleep and I thought you told me you loved me but when I asked you what you said, you told me to forget it. It was easy for me to do as you said because I didn’t believe you could ever love me anyway.” She told him and a fleeting smile crossed Eric’s face.

  “I know baby. I was a fool, scared, so scared I’d lose you. Terrified to love you because I was so sure you’d go eventually when you decided I wasn’t worth it.” He said and Natasha’s heart hurt for him, for the damage his childhood had done to him.

  “Well I love you Eric, I will love you until my body draws its last breath.” She assured him.

  “As I love you baby. I will never love anyone the way I love you. I have to be sure you realise what it means to wear my ring sweetheart. Now that it is on your finger and once we marry, you are mine forever more. I won’t ever let you go again as I did in Tasmania. You are mine until we are old and grey. As the vows say baby, you are mine until death do us part.” He told her and Natasha reached up to touch his cheek.

  “I think I can live with that.” She said.

  “How about we get your Mother in here and Alice to tell them what’s happening?” Eric said, raising her hand to his lips to kiss her palm.

  “My Mother is here?” Natasha was surprised.

  “Of course baby. I rang her when the doctor was here. She’s been here a while now and she’s seen you but you were still out of it when she arrived.” Eric traced over the tiny blue veins in her wrist with his tongue, making her shiver from the sensation.

  “You weren’t out that long, but long enough to scare the hell out of me. If you don’t stick to using that damned lift, I’ll strangle you. Do you hear me?” He asked and Natasha couldn’t help but grin at him. Her bossy, slightly overbearing Eric was back and she loved that side of him. She loved all sides of Eric’s personality including fun, playful Eric, although she could happily hit him when he teased her in front of others.

  “I promise. You do know we will fight and probably often?” She told him. “It’s kind of fun to spar with you Eric. It’s fun to try and match wits with you, even when you are teasing me.” Natasha said. Eric laughed.

  “Of course we’ll fight baby but we make up so perfectly.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed, then put her hand to her head when pain shot through her. “God baby, I’m sorry. You should be resting and I’m making your pain worse.” His expression was pained. “You should sleep. I want you feeling well again.”

  “I can rest later Eric. We’ve had so much to talk about but I suppose I should see Mum. I’m surprised she hasn’t burst in here by now.” Natasha said.

  “I’ll go and call her in.” Eric said, dropping a kiss on her lips before getting up and walking over to the bedroom door. Natasha watched him go and despite feeling a bit battered and bruised, she was the happiest she’d been in a long time. She couldn’t believe it. It was like the Fairy Tale ending, she got the prince and what a sexy prince he was.

  Eric left the bedroom and she could hear the sound of his voice for a few minutes before he re entered the room, Natasha’s Mother right behind him. She rushed past him and dropped onto the bed to kiss Natasha. “Oh baby girl, what did you do to yourself? Eric told me you fell down the stairs. Why were you on the stairs in the first place? You’re supposed to take the lift.” She pointed out and Natasha groaned.

  “Not you too Mum. I know, I should have listened to Eric. I could have harmed our babies. Don’t worry, I’ve heard his lecture already, you don’t need to start on me too Mum. My head hurts so please, no telling me off, ok?”

  “You were very lucky baby girl that you got out of this with only mild concussion as it could have been so much worse.”

  Natasha groaned. “You said you wouldn’t lecture me Mum, so don’t slide a sly one in.” She warned.

  Eric came over to the bed with Alice and Natasha listened to her expressing her relief that Natasha and the babies were fine. Both Natasha’s Mother and Alice began to talk about her like she wasn’t lying in bed right near them both and her eyes met Eric’s, amusement dancing in their blue depths. “Ok ladies, I think Natasha’s been lectured enough for one day and besides I’m sure she’s in need of some rest.” He told them.

  She frowned at him slightly since he was going to hustle her Mother and Alice out of the room again before they’d shared their news but Eric winked at her and reached for her hand. He kissed her palm before carefully turning her hand over so the diamonds sparkled despite the dim lighting from all the drawn blinds and he and Natasha exchanged grins when her Mother was the first one to spot the ring.

  “Is that what I think it is?” She shrieked and Natasha cringed, putting her hand up to her head and Kathryn pulled a face. “Oh sorry baby girl.” She said softly. “Now is that what I think it is?” Both Natasha and Eric nodded, before their eyes met and he dropped his head to kiss her. He slipped his tongue out slyly and traced her bottom lip, being careful to make sure her Mother didn’t see before lifting his head again. “Oh my god.” Kathryn squealed. “My baby girl’s engaged.” She hugged Eric, bent to hug Natasha who squeaked when her Mother squeezed her too tight which caused Kathryn to apologize again and then she hugged Alice. Everyone was hugging one another, everyone was happy for them but no one could have been happier than Natasha right now, but all the excitement was getting to her, she so badly needed to sleep. She yawned, blinking to try an
d keep the fatigue at bay long enough not to spoil her Mother’s excitement. She knew if Eric saw how tired she was suddenly feeling he’d chase her Mother and Alice from the room to make sure she got some rest.

  When she looked up at him, he was watching her with a frown on his face. “Baby you need to rest, I think it’s time we all left you to sleep.” Eric said.

  “Yes baby girl, we’ll all get out of your hair now and you sleep.” Her Mother said. “I’ll see you when you wake up.”

  Natasha looked at her Mother in surprise. “You’re not going home?” She asked.

  “No, Eric’s invited me for dinner, so I’ll be here for a while yet.” Kathryn bent to kiss her daughter. “I’ll leave you now sweetie. You sleep.” And she bustled out of the room. Alice followed her and it was just Natasha and Eric.

  “I’ll leave you too baby so you can sleep.” Eric dropped a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I love you.” He grinned, “See, I can say it.”

  Natasha smiled sleepily. “Stay with me until I fall asleep, please Eric.” She grabbed his hand.

  “Alright baby.” He said, climbing carefully on the bed so he wouldn’t cause her any pain. Gently he wrapped an arm around her and pressed his lips against her neck. With him murmuring softly in her ear about how much he loved her, how perfect she was, Natasha slowly drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 25.

  Over the next couple of months Natasha with her Mother’s help started planning the wedding. She had recovered well after her fall on the stairs and both Natasha and Eric decided they didn’t want to wait until their babies were born before they got married, although that would mean her looking very obviously pregnant in her wedding dress.