by Pepper Pace
The Pastor’s sermon was filled with themes that made Robin think about herself and her relationship with her mother. He preached about being saved and knowing that you are going to heaven because you have applied the principals of Christ into your life. Robin wondered if her mother was truly listening to the message or if she was just nodding her head and saying, ‘amen’, ‘praise Jesus’ like so many did.
Her stomach began to hurt. She knew what she had to do. She had to testify today; and she’d never done it before in her entire life. But this was her church family, she knew that they loved her, and there was something that she had to say.
Jason had not known what to expect of the sermon, but he was surprised to feel drawn in to the words that the Pastor spoke. He thought, for the first time in years, about his soul, spiritualism, god. Had he lived his life in a good way? Was he a good person? He’d made Robin cry, he’d caused his caregiver to fall down the steps and at the time he had hoped that she had broken her neck. Maybe he should give conscious thought to his salvation.
After the Pastor spoke there was music and the choir began to sing. Jason sat up even straighter. He wished that he had brought a recorder! The music was phenomenal, the singing sublime. He glanced at Robin, hearing her singing softly along with the choir. As beautiful as they sounded, they had nothing on her.
Robin gave his hand a short squeeze. “I’ll be right back.” Then she got up and left. He watched her leave the room, curious, but then his attention was back to the choir. After a few moments, the music slowed and the Pastor asked if anyone wanted to testify. A little old lady got up and moving like she had springs on her orthopedic shoes, she rushed to the front of the church.
“Thank you Lord God, for getting me through. It’s been rough; my son lost his job and money has been hard to come by. The church helped us out a lot; praise god, and if not for you Lord, I don’t know how we would have made it. Thank you.” Everyone applauded and then Robin was climbing the stairs. Jason looked on surprised.
“Hello everyone,” she said bravely. “This has been my church family for as long as I can remember. My first memories are here, of me, my Daddy, my Mama, coming to church, me going to Sunday school. This church has taught me my core values; how I want to live my life, how I want to treat people.” Robin’s eyes found her mother who looked on with stunned surprise.
“I love this church, and the people in it. You’ve been here for me and my Mama when my father was dealing with cancer, and then you were here for us during the funeral and after he passed. I want to thank you all for that, as well as welcoming my boyfriend, Jason today.” Eyes seemed to seek out Jason and he grinned and blushed slightly as the ‘eyes’ found him and offered more unspoken welcome.
“Sometimes it’s difficult for a person with a disability to be comfortable around new people and to feel accepted even though they have, slurred speech, a seizure, or might need to use a wheelchair. But no one has made him feel anything but welcomed. Thank you again.” Robin stepped off the stage to sounds of applause.
She had sounded comfortable-or hoped she had-but she was trembling like a leaf as she made her way back to Jason amidst people’s hands reaching out to give her an encouraging touch. She smiled her appreciation and sat down quickly next to the person that she had proudly claimed as her boyfriend.
When she had passed her mother, Betty wouldn’t even meet her eye.
After the service ended, it seemed that all 150 members of the church wanted to satisfy their curiosity about Jason and he didn’t mind at all. He talked to them, and found one guy that he knew from school. Robin sought out her mother who was quiet.
“I’m proud of you for getting up there and testifying.” Betty said.
“Proud of what I said?”
Betty’s lips formed an unhappy line. “Yes, even if I don’t always agree, I’m still proud of what you said and what you did.” Their eyes met and Betty reached out tentatively. Robin closed the space between them and hugged her mother. “I’m sorry I asked you to leave.” She whispered and Robin felt her mother’s tears splash on her neck. “I’m sorry that I…I’m just sorry.”
Robin pulled back and gently wiped her mother’s tears away with her thumb, and then she wiped away her own. “Momma, I’m going to ask Jason to be a member of the church.”
Betty nodded. Better a god-fearing cripple than a god-hating one.
***
The three of them decided to eat at the potluck dinner that was being held down in the lower level of the church. “I think Mama is learning to accept you.” Robin whispered to him.
Jason looked down the end of the long table and met the eyes of Robin’s mother who was staring at him as he ate. She quickly plastered on a big smile. He looked back at Robin.
“I think maybe you’re right.” He gave her a supportive smile. But he knew that woman was hoping he would choke and die on a chicken bone.
Unfortunately, he almost did just that. Robin had whispered to him the items that he shouldn’t eat even though she had placed them on his plate. She put the items on his plate because she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but she told him not to eat the dressing because she thought Miss Maybelle might have made it and she was the worst cook in the world. Don’t eat the potato salad because Miss Constance daughter made it and she always had a drippy nose and people claimed that it often times dripped in the food she was making. He should eat double helpings of baked ham, candy yams and green beans because the three best cooks in the world had prepared them.
He had been extra careful about not spilling food out of his mouth and Robin had cut up his meat extra small and when he talked to the people around him he made sure that the food was swallowed first. He was on his second helping of the delicious ham when his body began to feel weak and his head to feel light.
“Robin.”
She turned to him with a happy smile because the couple that they had been sitting next to during the service had just informed her that they were expecting. “Yes, Jason?” She saw that his face was very serious.
“Seizure…” And then his eyes squeezed shut. He tried to remind himself not to fight it, stay calm, let it happen and run its course. And then he didn’t remember anything until he felt people around him. You can feel the presence of people, even before you can see or hear them. Jason certainly knew that he was surrounded by people and that he was lying on the floor. Then he knew that Robin’s hand was on his back and he felt fine, despite everything else.
When he opened his eyes there was a mass gasp. He looked up and Robin was giving him an encouraging smile.
“Sorry everyone, I hope I didn’t kill the mood.” Several people chuckled.
“I told you the first thing out of his mouth would be something smart-alecky.” Robin said while grinning in relief. He sat up and two men helped him back to his seat. He thought to himself if anything hurt or felt sore. But no, he felt fine. He allowed his eyes to sweep over the people in the room. Some seemed visibly upset; but most seemed curious or to have already put it behind them as they returned to their meal.
He didn’t see Mrs. Mathena anywhere. He leaned in close to Robin. “How bad was it?”
“One of your milder ones. It lasted about two minutes. I helped you to the floor so that you wouldn’t fall.”
“Where is your Mom?”
Robin looked around. “I don’t know.”
Jason was essentially done with eating but he stared at his plate and wondered if they had a ride home. The Pastor came over a moment later.
“Son, I hope you enjoyed your visit.”
“I did, Sir. It was a very good sermon.”
Pastor Sims looked at the younger man closer. “Son, we’re trying to create a diverse church. We always want to grow, but we also want to attract people of different cultures and races. We also want to make this into a church that is comfortable for people with disabilities. Is there anything that we can do to make your visits more comfortable? Because I’d love to see you
join our church family.”
“You have a beautiful church. I’m normally in a wheelchair and I do see ramps. You have an elevator to get down here. There are no handles in the restroom which is the only thing that I can think of.”
Pastor Sims listened intently. “They will be added by next week. That’s an easy fix. No pressure though, but we hope you will be here next week to try them out.” Jason and a few people listening laughed. He could tell that they really wanted him to become a member. He wasn’t the only white person but he was the only disabled person present.
After the meal they went back upstairs where Betty was talking to a few of the church sisters. She turned to them happily.
“So Jason, did you enjoy your visit?”
“I certainly did, Ma’ame.”
“I suppose we should be heading out.”
Jason said his goodbyes thinking; that woman would have left my ass to choke…
In the car, Betty glanced in his general direction. “Was it what you had expected?”
“I expected that people would be nice, but I just didn’t expect that everyone would welcome me so openly.” She gave the boy a direct look and almost wrecked the car. He was talking almost as clear as she and Robin. And as a matter of fact he wasn’t moving all around like a kid in need of riddlin. Hmmm. Curious, she’d have to ask Robin about it later. It never occurred to her that she could have just asked Jason himself.
“I can’t believe that you got up there and spoke.” Jason turned in his seat to look at Robin. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” Her face warmed. “And I meant what I said. I hope you consider making the church your permanent home.” Betty was just getting ready to open her mouth when Jason responded.
“I’ve been thinking about it too. I’d like to do that.”
Betty’s mouth snapped shut. What a dumb thing for Robin to do; inviting this boy to become a member of the church and then when they broke up it would be just that much more difficult. Damn…why didn’t she think of things like this herself? You don’t invite a new boyfriend to join your church until you know for certain that he’s going to be with you forever.
Back at the house, Betty was at her wits end in frustration. Robin was going on and on about Jason coming to church with them and Betty just felt drained. She couldn’t wait for the both of them to drive off and do god-knew what!
“Mama, did you want us to stay around and maybe have coffee an-”
“No. You two go ahead and leave. I have things I need to take care of before the week begins. I spent hours at the hospital yesterday and didn’t get my cases finished.”
“You work too hard, Mama-”
“Well somebody has to. I don’t have your Daddy around here to help with the bills.” Robin knew that was an over exaggeration. Her mother had plenty of money banked or invested; not to mention the unused college fund that was in excess of thirty thousand dollars. Yeah, Mama was not hurting for money.
Jason held out his hand for Mrs. Mathena. “It was nice meeting you, Ma’ame.”
Betty took it, surprised that his grip was firm. Their eyes met and held. Each of them read the silent message transmitted in the others look. Jason read hers as, ‘I know you’re fucking my daughter.’ And Betty read in his, ‘I’ll continue fucking your innocent baby girl until I force her into pregnancy with a deformed fetus.’
Back in Robin’s car Jason sighed in relief. Robin glanced at him.
“Thank you for coming. I know that it probably wasn’t very pleasant enduring my Mother’s looks.”
“You noticed?”
“How could I not?”
“It wasn’t bad, actually I enjoyed it.” He reached over and placed his hand on her knee. “Baby, do you think we can make a quick stop at the store?”
“Sure, babe. What did you want to get?”
“Condoms.” She glanced at him. “We can leave some at your place,” he suggested. “Until, well, you can get on the pill…which incidentally will be, when?”
“Well, I have to wait until after my period ends which is due this coming up week, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday.”
“Okay. And it lasts how long?”
“About a week. Why? Need an alternative form or sexual relief?”
“Maybe.” He spoke thinking just the contrary. But that was a bridge that would need to be crossed at another time. Right now he had memories of Robin’s wild orgasm and wondered if it could be recreated.
They got back to Robin’s apartment and went straight to the bedroom. “Maybe you should leave some clothes here.” Robin spoke as she slipped out of her Sunday dress.
“Nah, I’m cool with being nude.” He slipped quickly out of his clothes and climbed into her bed. It was comfortable; the first time he’d slept in anyone other than his mother’s bed. Robin slipped out of her underwear and lay down next to him.
“It went good today.”
He kissed her, stroking down the line of her hips with his fingertips. “I’m happy I met you.”
She leaned in, pressing her body against his. “I am, too.” Then she kissed him, tongue slipping into his mouth.
“How is your belly?”
“Good.”
“You promise?”
“Promise.”
His tongue flicked her lips. She quickly caught it. It was so long that she could easily suck it and she did. Jason sighed and closed his eyes. They made love and this time no one interrupted when Robin mounted him and rode him carefully. Jason cupped her full ass, gripping her and guiding her hips as she slowly moved up and down his shaft.
He had been surfing for porn since he was a kid; he’d seen millions of breasts, but he’d never seen a pair of breasts that were as beautiful as Robin’s. They weren’t too big, and not too small. When he reached up to test them in his hands they felt heavy and full. Her nipples looked like milk chocolate and the taste was pretty damn close.
His lips covered them and Robin winced. He peeked at her, releasing her instantly, a questioning look on his face.
“Women’s breast get sore right before their periods.” She explained, blushing slightly.
“Ah.” He nodded. Then he just placed gentle kisses over them as they resumed their lovemaking. Everyday got better than the day before. Instead of loud screaming orgams, the two climaxed with soft passionate cries. Afterwards they luxuriated in bed the way that she had wanted to do the other morning.
They talked about everything; Halloween next week and the fact that Robin had never been to a haunted house. They quickly got dressed and found one. Robin did everything that he could want from a girlfriend. She screamed, she laughed, she hid behind him while he was stoic and brave.
God his legs hurt, but he didn’t say anything and knew that he hid it well because Robin just walked alongside of him chatting. It was ten pm when she finally dropped him off at his apartment. They sat in the car kissing for a long time before he went inside on his own, not allowing her to follow, and for once not insisting that she sleep over. Tonight he needed to take some serious pain therapy.
***
Monday came too soon for Robin. For the first time since meeting Jason she felt like calling in sick for work and just flipping over on her belly and pulling the pillow over her head. She had slept very good, coming right home after leaving Jason and hitting the bed. But she was still exhausted.
