Confessions from the Principal's Chair

by Anna Myers

  "Bird?" Shan said into the phone. "Are you there? What do you think?"

  "Oh," I said. "Thanks a lot. That would be a lot of fun, but, you know what, I really need to be in English class today. We are all doing research papers, and I got off to a late start. I guess I'd better stay here."

  "Bird," said Shan, "is there something else going on here besides a research paper? Is there something we need to talk about?"

  "No," I lied. "I'm just worried about getting my paper done." I told her good-bye and hung up, feeling like a coward for being afraid to face Ivory. I guess you can figure out that I didn't accomplish much on my paper or anything else that day.

  Serenity was excited about getting the works from the hair and makeup people before the show the next day. At lunch the two of us mostly talked about what we would wear and how we would have our hair done. Of course, I kept my eye on Kash, who ate with a group of boys at the next table. Principal Miller called the eighth grade into the cafeteria during last hour to talk to us about how to act at the party. She stood up in front of us and held up her hand until we were perfectly quiet. "There will be TV cameras there, people," she said, and she moved her head, looking into all of our faces. "Don't do anything to make your parents or your school ashamed of you."

  Nicole walked beside me as we left the cafeteria. "We aren't even wearing our jackets to the party," she told me. "I mean they told us to wear them on the show tomorrow, and it's not like we are giving up the group or anything." She reached out and squeezed my arm. "Tonight, though, we just want everyone to consider themselves purple."

  "That's amazing," I said, and I smiled at her like what I said was a compliment. I knew Nicole and I would be butting heads in the future, but for a few days, I just wanted peace.

  The eighth-graders, all thirty of us, were in the gym. when the girls from Denver came in. Ivory walked in front of Katie, and Ivory had her arm looped through Marcy Willis's like Marcy was just the most important person in the world to her. "Oh, gag," I said, but no one heard me because Principal Miller and Coach Pickle were up on the stage. She was clapping while he cheered and made motions for us to cheer too.

  What happened next really amazed me. I made my way up to the stage because Principal Miller had asked me to be up there when the girls introduced themselves to our class. Coach Pickle handed me the microphone. "These are my friends from Denver," I said, but I felt funny saying it. Katie was my friend and now maybe Marcy, but I knew Ivory wasn't. One at a time the girls took the mike and said their names.

  "Let's give them all a big Prairie Dog welcome," said Coach Pickle, and the kids clapped again. "All right," said the coach. "Fill up on pizza and dance, dance, dance."

  I went down the steps with the Denver girls right behind me. Everybody hugged me. "You look taller," Ivory said. She stepped back from me to sort of study me. "No, maybe not taller, maybe it's just that your . . . " She stopped like she had just caught herself, but, of course, I knew she was doing it on purpose.

  "Were you going to say my neck is longer?" I shook my head. "I hope so. In Oklahoma a woman with a long neck is considered beautiful. You know, like stretched out lips are in some African tribes? We actually have a machine here in the gym for girls to stretch their necks on."

  Ivory stared at me, but then she laughed and put her hand on my shoulder. "Bird, you're wicked! For just a minute I believed you!"

  Katie was standing right beside me and we were talking when I heard, "My name is Kash. Would you like to dance?" For a minute I thought he was talking to me, but, of course, I knew his name. I saw he was looking at Katie. Ivory knew who he meant too, but she acted like she didn't. I'm telling you the truth. She jumped in front of Katie, took Kash's hand, and walked off with him.

  I almost died right there on the gym floor. Another boy came over and asked Katie to dance, and then a guy asked Marcy. This was weird. At all the dances I'd been to in Denver, the boys stood in one group and the girls in another. They looked at each other for a long time before a few brave boys asked someone to dance. But Prairie Dog Town was different, and there was Ivory dancing away with the boy I loved.

  I stumbled out of the way, and Serenity found me leaning against a wall. "Don't worry," she said.

  "About what?"

  "About Kash dancing with that Ivory girl. I heard Coach Pickle tell the boys he'd make them run a zillion extra laps in gym if they didn't pay special attention to the visiting girls and stuff."

  I had never said a word to Serenity about liking Kash. "What makes you think I care what Kash Edge does?"

  She laughed. "Come off it, Bird! Like you aren't watching him every minute!"

  "Let's get some pizza," I said.

  Serenity wanted to take some of her pizza out to her pigeons, and I went along. Feeding Winston and Churchill was certainly better than watching the dancers. We sat on the steps, and the birds came right up to eat out of Serenity's hand. "You know Coach Pickle would have a fit if he saw you feeding those birds. He doesn't want them hanging around the gym."

  "You don't have to be the principal anymore, remember?" She tore more pizza into little pieces and held them out to the birds. "Coach Pickle is too busy making boys dance to worry about two little birds right now. Just think, tomorrow Opal Gentry will be right here in Prairie Dog Town, and we will be talking to her. How many people will be watching, do you think?"

  "I don't know, but I'll ask Shan." I sighed. "I'm wondering if Richard will be watching." (I had told Serenity about my father, even showed her the picture, but I guess she didn't remember his name.)

  "Who's Richard?"

  "My father, remember? I mean, I know most of the audience will be women, but if he is still painting he might have a TV in his studio."

  "Are you hoping he will call you?"

  I shrugged. "I guess. Let's go back inside." The pigeons followed us to the door, but we shooed them away. Inside, the music had changed to a slow song. The two other Prairie Dog Town boys had left their Denver partners, but Kash hadn't. Five or six couples danced in the center of the floor, and there were Kash and Ivory right in the middle of them. She had her hands locked behind his head. His hands were on her waist, and they moved slowly together.

  Katie and Marcy sat in folding chairs near a wall, and we went over to join them. "It's my fault about Ivory and Kash," said Katie, and she looked down at her shoes.

  I reached over to wave my hand in front of her face until she looked up. "How could it be your fault?"

  "I told the Pack all about him, his name and everything." She frowned. "You know Ivory. When she hears about someone having anything, a boyfriend or a new purse. She takes it as a challenge."

  "Well," I said, "to be fair, Kash Edge couldn't exactly be called my boyfriend, but, yes, I do know Ivory. I'm just wondering why I was so stupid, letting her tell me what to wear and who to talk to." Katie looked uncomfortable. "I'm not blaming you for still being part of the Pack. I know how hard it would be to stand up to Ivory."

  "But Ivory seems lots better," said Marcy. "She's been real nice to me on this trip."

  "She'll be nice on the show tomorrow too," I said, "but I wouldn't count on her niceness holding out too long after the cameras are off.

  We danced after that, just moving to the music and having a good time even though we didn't have partners. Then Joe, the cigarette-smoking trick-or-treater, came over to stand beside me.

  "Hey," he said, "if I promise I haven't been smoking, will you dance with me?" I tried to concentrate on the music, not looking at Kash and Ivory, but it was really hard. I was glad when the party was finally over.

  I was telling Katie good night when Ivory came up to hug me. "Oh, Bird," she said. "Thank you for thinking up this Opal thing. It is so much fun, and meeting Kash makes it all so awesome." I wandered outside and left Katie with Ivory.

  Rendi picked me up, and I was quiet on the way home. "Is something wrong, honey?" she asked.

  "Just tired." I rested against the seat.

  "W
ere you glad to see your friends again?"

  "Yes, especially Katie, and you know what? I talked some at the party with Marcy Willis. She's okay."

  "Good. Anything else you want to tell me?"

  "That's all."

  "Well tomorrow's the big day."

  "Uh-huh," I said.

  When we got home, I went straight to bed, but I didn't go to sleep for a long time. My bed is beside the window. I pushed back the curtain and looked out at the night. There was a full moon. I remembered a song Rendi used to sing to me about seeing the moon. One line went, "Let the moon that shines on me shine on the one I love." I wondered if Kash might be looking at the moon. Well, if he was, I was sure he was thinking about Ivory.

  In the morning, one of the dressing rooms in the gym was turned into a place for hair and makeup people to work on all of us who were going to be on the show. I couldn't see myself in the mirror as they worked on me, and I was totally surprised when I looked. My hair was all soft around my face, and my eyes were shining. "You look lovely," said the woman who had worked on me.

  Someone had been working on Kash too. I wondered why they thought they could improve on how he looked. When I saw that he had been watching while I had my hair done, I wanted to slide down in my chair and wait for him to go away. He didn't leave, though, just stood there and smiled.

  I pulled in a deep breath and got the nerve to speak to him. "What's up?" I asked.

  He shrugged. "They're working on Ivory, and I'm enjoying a little break without her."

  "Huh?" I didn't even try to hide my amazement. "I thought you two were . . . ," I made a face, "you know... together."

  He shook his head. "She latched on to me. Stuck tight. I didn't know what to do. I mean Coach said be nice, and I figured she'd be going home today, so it didn't matter so much until I found out about the note."

  "The note?"

  "Yeah, the one on the principal's pad." He grinned at me, and stuck his hands in his pockets.

  "You know who wrote the note, don't you?" I asked.

  "I do now. Serenity just told me this morning. Until then, I thought it was her. I mean she came in the store that day, and you said someone had just borrowed paper from you. Serenity's okay, but . . . " He just stood there grinning at me.

  "So?"

  "Well, I don't want to get married or anything, but do you want to sort of hang out with me?"

  "I do," I said, and I wanted to dance around the dressing room.

  By the time for the show to begin, the gym was full. I had two surprises. Miss Deirdre sent me a dozen roses and a note that said, "To my Star," and my grandparents showed up!

  I didn't know that Rendi had called them, but they came to the dressing room with her to see me just before the show. "You look beautiful," said my grandfather.

  "And we are so proud of how you are standing up for kids who need it." Grandma slipped her arm through Rendi's. "Your mother brought you up right."

  TV sets on big shelves on both sides of the stage let us see what the cameras were filming. The show started with Opal's voice saying. "Today we have an amazing story for you, the story of how a girl who came to a new school to enroll in the eighth grade ended up running the school for two days. We are interested in how this fourteen-year-old carried off her job as principal, but we are even more interested in what she learned about a problem, a disease, really, that runs rampant in our schools. We are talking about bullying, kids picking on kids." Opal came out then from behind a curtain, and she sat down on a chair. The kids, Ivory, Marcy, Katie, Nicole, Serenity, Kash, and me, were all on two sofas on either side of Opal's chair. Kash sat between me and Nicole. Serenity was on our sofa too. The Denver girls were on the other side. I watched the TV set while Opal talked on about how my mother had taken me out of school for picking on a girl. She also told how I ended up being confused with the interim principal because we had the same name, and she told the audience that I use the name Bird. She said that I was an amazing actress. Yes, she did! Shan stood down in front of me, and she lifted her arm when it was time for me to quit watching the monitor and look at Opal because the camera was on me.

  "I understand you almost had your mother arrested, Bird." The camera went out to Rendi in the front row of the audience. I knew that would happen, so while I explained about the kidnapping episode, I could watch the TV Rendi looked pretty and happy sitting by my grandparents. I hoped this might be a sort of fresh start in their relationship. It crossed my mind that I might try just plain telling my mother and my grandmother that I wanted them to get along.

  Next the camera went to the girls from Denver. Opal asked all three of them questions. Marcy talked about what we had done to her, and Katie and Ivory both said they were sorry. "I've learned so much from this experience," said Ivory. "I'll never be the same girl again. I've even met a wonderful boy."

  That last sentence was a surprise. Ivory hadn't mentioned that during the rehearsal. I saw Shan shake her head no, and Opal went right on, ignoring the part about the boy.

  "Did you enjoy being the principal, Bird?" Opal asked.

  I talked about watching TV in the office and about calling the Psychic Emergency Line for help and how I was working at Judy's cafe to pay the bill. People laughed when I mentioned Madam Zelda, and I hoped she was not watching.

  "So, Bird," said Opal, "I know you called Marcy to apologize for your part in tormenting her. What made you do that?"

  "I met Serenity. She was sent to my office for slapping someone who was picking on her, and after talking to her, I started to see things from a different point of view." I was nervous, and I wished I could be playing a part. Being Bird Miller was a hard role. I was glad to get the signal that the camera was on Serenity, who talked about how I had given her the necklace and promised she would have a friend. She explained about the Purples too, and next Nicole swore that she too had learned her lesson.

  The camera moved to Kash after Opal said, "A young man got involved in this problem, and he was willing to take a stand." She asked Kash to explain chicken fever, and he also talked about how I had asked him to help. Then it was time for a surprise from Opal. "You're a cutie-pie," she said when Kash had finished talking. "Do you have a girlfriend?" That part hadn't been rehearsed. Kash's face turned red, and for just a second he ducked his head. Then he reached over, took my hand, and raised our hands together. "Well, sort of," he said. The audience laughed again.

  I looked over at Ivory, who looked so mad I expected smoke to come out of her ears. She jumped up, crossed her arms, and stomped the floor. Shan motioned wildly for Ivory to sit down. The camera was still on Opal, who was talking about how some kids are so angry and hurt inside that they want to hurt other people. She explained that other kids too often just let the bullying go on, sometimes out of fear of being picked on themselves.

  I saw the pigeon right off, but at first I didn't think about it flying straight to the stage. Winston or Churchill ( I didn't know which) must have known Serenity was up there, though, because that is where he headed.

  "My lands," said Opal. "There's a bird in here." The camera went to the bird just as it dropped its load on Ivory's head. "Oh my!" said Opal. "We'll get this child cleaned up." I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop my laughing.

  The show ended with us kids standing across the stage holding hands. Ivory was back for the last scene, but I could see that the front of her hair was wet. The camera came to a close-up of me. "We want to challenge kids everywhere to take a stand with us against bullying," I said, and then I remembered something else I hadn't practiced, but wanted to add. "And we are against global warming too," I added.

  "Bird," said Opal right at the end, "some special friends of your family told us your mother is in need of work." The camera flashed on Sheriff Walters and Judy in the audience. "And we want this town to have something to remember us by." Opal went on to announce how she had arranged for a grant that would commission Rendi to make a giant prairie dog for the town square, and she talke
d about what would be on the show next time.

  Opal left right away, and it didn't take long for the crew to pack up. Shan was driving the girls and Mrs. Morford back to Oklahoma City to catch a plane. Katie and Marcy hugged me when I said good-bye, but Ivory didn't look at me. I hoped she really had learned a lesson, but I didn't have any faith that even a pigeon could teach Ivory much.

  I stood watching the car drive away, and I was glad I was staying in Prairie Dog Town. Rendi was out there with me, and when I turned back from watching the car, Coach Pickle had come up to talk to her. I wondered what they might be talking about.

  So the whole thing had this kind of fairy-tale ending, don't you think? I mean with the wicked witch (Ivory) being punished (by pigeons) and the often misunderstood, but brave, girl (me) getting the prince (you totally know who he is).

  Oh yes, I bet you expect me to tell about how Richard called me after he saw the show. Not! I quit carrying his picture with me and put it away in a drawer. I got it out, though, five days later.

  On the first Saturday after Opal's show, Rendi and I went to Tulsa to spend the weekend. Grandma had asked us right after we finished taping the show, and I said yes without even giving Rendi a chance to speak. She didn't contradict me, though.

  We were driving toward Tulsa on the Cimarron Turnpike when I decided to tell Rendi right out how I felt. "I think you ought to work on getting along with Grandma," I said. "How would you feel if I grew up and never came around you or anything?"

  Rendi was quiet at first, like maybe she hadn't heard me, but of course I knew she had. Finally she said very softly, "It would break my heart."

  "Well?" I answered. Rendi didn't say anything else, but all that weekend I could see she was trying. We went shopping at this very nice shopping center called Utica Square, where there were all kinds of neat stores.