Brad reached for her hand, stopping her. “You don’t need to say it. We both made mistakes and we’re both sorry. Let’s leave it at that.”
“You think I made a mistake?”
“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
She took her first sip of wine and let its smoothness flow over her tongue. “I came because when I walked out on you, I was angry and hurt.”
“I know…”
“I don’t feel either of those things anymore. I wanted to look you in the eye, see what I used to find so attractive.” She sighed. Whatever it was had long vanished. “I really just came, Brad, to clear the air once and for all, and to do it properly.”
Brad’s expression changed and he stared at her. “You are coming back to Portland, aren’t you?”
She loved this city and missed her job. The ice-cream parlor demanded constant attention and supervision. The hours were long and the financial compensation small. As a pharmaceutical salesperson, she’d been able to leave work at the end of the day and not give her job another thought. Having a business of her own was a completely different proposition. The ice-cream and pizza parlor had seemed like an escape from an unhappy situation, but for the first time, she wondered if she’d made the right decision.
“Shana?” Brad asked, breaking into her musings.
“Portland? I don’t know,” she admitted honestly.
“You love me, don’t you?” He asked the question but she could tell he wasn’t as sure of himself as he’d been earlier.
Seeing the crack in his confidence weakened her resolve. “That’s just it,” Shana said. “I loved you so completely and I was so sure you loved me.”
“I do love you,” Brad insisted. “I know you were upset and you had every right to be. I was a fool, but I swear to you it’ll never happen again. I regretted it immediately. I was sick that I lost you because of Sylvia.”
Shana didn’t trust him enough to believe his promises.
He seemed to be debating how much of the truth to reveal. “We went out two or three times, but that’s beside the point. It didn’t take me long to realize I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. It’s you I love, Shana. It’s you I want to be with.”
The complete absence of the word marriage didn’t escape her. In other words, they’d resume their relationship exactly where they’d left off. His script again—but not hers.
Brad must have seen the strength and determination in her eyes. “You mean it, don’t you?” he asked morosely. “This really is goodbye.”
“Yes.”
“But you loved me at one time. I can’t believe you don’t now.”
A sad smile formed but she refused to answer him.
His own smile returned. “You do love me. You wouldn’t be here now if you didn’t still have feelings for me.”
Brad’s gaze pleaded with her as he clasped her hand in both of his. “You do love me,” he said again.
She remained silent, and all at once he seemed to realize she wasn’t changing her mind. That was when he said the one thing that, a few months ago, might have swayed her.
“I want to marry you.”
Even that didn’t elicit a response.
“I’m sincere, Shana. I couldn’t be any more serious. You set the date and the time.”
Rather than drag this out, she told him the truth. “I met someone else.”
Brad frowned. “Is this the guy your niece mentioned?”
“Yes.”
“Certainly didn’t take you long, did it?” he asked, sitting back. “So the real reason you’re here is to rub my face in it.”
“No.” Until this moment she hadn’t planned to say anything about Adam.
“I thought you were in love with me. Pretty fickle, aren’t you?”
She smiled, knowing she’d asked for that. “I was in love with you, but that’s over.” She paused. “It’s funny, you know.”
“I’m not laughing.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t think it was possible to feel like this about a man on such short acquaintance. Adam’s good to me and to my niece…. He’s a family friend. That’s how we met.”
“Bully for you.”
“Don’t, Brad.” She hadn’t expected to be this honest with him but it seemed important. She had no intention of being vindictive or mean-spirited. She might not love him anymore, but she didn’t begrudge him happiness.
“And what does Adam do?” Brad asked, his words hard and clipped. “Oh, yes, I remember now. He’s some big deal in the Navy.” He lifted his brows dismissively. “So. Can you tell me exactly why you’re here?”
Shana sipped her wine. “I came here this morning, convinced I had to see you. I already told you why. I felt—and still feel—that I had to end this relationship properly.”
Brad closed his eyes for a moment. “Okay. Consider it ended.”
“Thank you,” she said graciously. “I even went so far as to buy this dress at a price so outrageous I’ll be making payments for the next six months.” She glanced down at her feet and tried to remember what size shoe her sister wore and hoped it was a seven.
“So this outfit was for my benefit?”
Shana nodded. “I wanted you to be sorry you lost me.”
His eyes grew gentle. “I was sorry before you got here. I’ve been sorry for months.”
Despite her mood, she smiled. “That’s probably the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“So you didn’t come here to make me feel bad about you and Popeye?”
Shana inhaled softly. She knew exactly why she’d found it necessary to drive to Portland. “No, I didn’t,” she said softly. “I came to say goodbye.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Adam Kennedy wasn’t having a good day. In fact, the entire week was down the septic tank, and he blamed Shana Berrie for that. If she was trying to make him jealous, it was damned well working.
“That’s what women do to you,” his friend John told him. They sat across from each other at Navy Headquarters for the Pacific Fleet. “They mess with your mind and they make irrational demands. Take my wife, for example. Angie got upset with me because there was a cockroach in the house, as if it’s my duty as her husband to rid the place of bugs. Can you believe it? She’s afraid of a stupid bug, and if I don’t deal with it, I might as well not go home tonight.”
Barely hearing his friend’s rant, Adam scowled. Shana certainly hadn’t wasted any time giving up on him. As far as she was concerned, it seemed to be out of sight, out of mind. Well, fine, great, whatever. If she wanted to race back to lover boy, then that was perfectly fine by him.
The hell it was, Adam decided quickly. He hadn’t slept well; his appetite was gone and he had a sick feeling that refused to go away. He didn’t know how everything had fallen apart so quickly. In his view they’d had a promising relationship, with emphasis on the past tense.
The phone rang and Adam left it for John. What he needed was a bout of hard exercise, but with his shoulder golf was still out of the question and swimming would be just as painful. He could always jog, he supposed, but it wasn’t something he enjoyed.
John answered the phone, and Adam watched as his gaze shot across the room. He put the caller on hold. “It’s for you. A woman. Says her name is Shana.” He gave Adam a significant look, both eyebrows raised.
It took Adam a moment to assimilate that. His pulse accelerated and then immediately slowed. The call was most likely a courtesy to let him know she was going back to lover boy in Portland.
With that in mind, Adam reached for the telephone receiver. He responded in a crisp military tone, keeping his voice devoid of emotion.
“Adam, hello,” Shana said, her own voice friendly.
Adam nearly weakened, but he realized she was probably warming him up before she dropped the news. She’d led him on, he mused darkly, and now she was going to make a fool of him.
“I wanted to thank you for the leis. Jazmine and I were thrille
d. It was so generous of you.”
Adam kept silent, bracing himself.
After an awkward moment, during which he said nothing, Shana said, “I feel badly about the way our last conversation went.”
“Forget it,” Adam said in the same emotionless tone. He wanted her to think it hardly mattered to him. He should’ve taken the hint then. Shana was trouble and he’d best get out of this unpredictable relationship. But even as the thought went through his mind, he didn’t believe it.
“I blame myself,” Shana added, “for picking a fight with you. I was just reacting to your leaving, I guess.” She hesitated. “We had so little time, and I knew I was going to miss you so much. Jazmine, too, of course.”
John had explained that this was the same reaction he got from his wife, but Adam couldn’t really accept that. Why would Shana care whether he was stationed in Hawaii if she was going back to the guy in Portland?
She seemed to realize he wasn’t responding. “Are you upset about something?” she asked tentatively.
“Should I be?” He answered her question with one of his own.
“I don’t think so.” Her voice gained conviction, but gone was the sweet joy he’d heard in her earlier. Now she sounded wary.
“I understand you were out of town,” he said, broaching the subject that was foremost on his mind.
His announcement was followed by stark silence. “You know about that?”
“I do. So if you’re planning to tell me what I think you are, I’d appreciate if you’d just say it and be done with it.”
“Say what?”
“You want out,” he said flippantly. “So let’s just call it quits.”
“You’re willing to end this without another word?” She seemed shocked—and annoyed.
“I’m not the one who drove down to visit an old lover. You never did say how things went between you and Bernie.”
“It’s Brad,” she corrected. “And you’re right, I didn’t.”
He waited, unwilling to cut off the conversation and at the same time reluctant to continue trading barbs.
“Isn’t this all a little silly?” Shana asked.
“When did you decide to go?”
“In the morning. It was a spur-of-the-moment idea. Jazmine and I spent the night with an old friend—an old female friend,” she added. “I saw Brad and we talked.”
“About what?” He didn’t mean to ask and wanted to withdraw the question the moment it left his mouth.
She paused, taking a moment before she answered. “I don’t remember if I told you I moved to Seattle in kind of a rush.”
“You might’ve said something like that.” He tried to play it cool, but the truth was, he hung on every word.
“So I needed to see Brad.”
“I’m sure you did,” he muttered, unable to disguise his sarcasm.
His comment generated a lengthy silence. “We had a chance to talk and to say certain things that needed to be said,” she finally told him.
She didn’t enlighten him as to what those things might be. “So you’re back in Seattle?”
“Yes. I have to go now. The only reason I phoned,” she said, “is to thank you for the leis. Jazmine and I love them. Now I should get back to work.”
Adam had to bite his tongue to keep from pleading with her to stay on the phone a bit longer. He wished they could start the entire conversation over.
“How’s Jazmine?” he asked, using the question as a delaying tactic.
“Fabulous…wonderful. Thank you again for the orchids.”
And with that, the line was disconnected. He waited a few seconds while the buzz sounded in his ear. Adam replaced the receiver and glared at the phone as he replayed the conversation. He knew he’d made a number of tactical errors, and that was because his ego had gotten in the way.
“So, how’d it go?” John asked conversationally.
“Not good.”
“Sorry to hear that. I told you—women mess with your mind. You should’ve figured that out by now.”
John was right; he should have.
The tension in Adam’s stomach didn’t diminish all day. At the end of his watch, he returned to his quarters to find the message light on his phone blinking. It was too much to hope that Shana had called him a second time. Holding his breath, he pressed the message button.
Jazmine’s voice greeted him. “Uncle Adam, what’s with you? You’ve really blown it now. Call me at the house when you get home. I’ll make sure I answer.”
Adam reached for the phone. Here he was, conspiring with a nine-year-old. That was a sign of desperation.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ali was quite entertained by the tone of Shana’s e-mails in the last week. Her sister was not in a good mood. She’d only brought up Adam’s name once, but Ali was well aware that the lieutenant commander was the sole source of Shana’s irritation.
Thankfully, Jazmine had been able to fill Ali in. Apparently Adam and Shana had some form of falling-out. Shana had driven to Portland to say a final goodbye to Brad, and Adam was out of sorts about it. From what Jazmine said, they were currently ignoring each other.
Ali didn’t usually meddle in other people’s romances. She hadn’t said anything when Shana was involved with Brad, and she wouldn’t interfere now. At least she didn’t think she would. But those two were perfect together, and it would be a shame if this relationship died because they were too stubborn to admit they were attracted to each other. Although Ali suspected that their feelings had gone way beyond attraction…
Preoccupied, she walked toward the wardroom. She generally ate with the other officers at six every evening, but tonight she was later than usual. Life at sea had grown monotonous, and the days seemed to run into each other without any real break to distinguish one from the next. When she entered the room, there were a few officers at various tables, but she noticed only one.
Commander Frank Dillon.
Ali hadn’t seen or talked to him since they’d met in the Farmer’s Market in Guam. Just seeing him again gave her pause. She’d thought about their brief conversation that very afternoon; even now she wasn’t sure what to make of it. Her friends, too, were full of questions she hadn’t been able to answer. Ali filled her tray and started for a table.
“Good evening, Commander,” she said, greeting him.
“Ali.” He didn’t look any too pleased to see her, if his scowl was any indication.
She sat down several tables away, but facing him. It would be utterly rude to present him with her back. “I do hope you’ve sufficiently recovered.” Ali knew she sounded stilted but couldn’t help it. She avoided eye contact by reaching for the salt shaker.
“I have, thank you. And you?”
His question caught her unawares. “I haven’t been ill, Commander.”
“Yes, of course.” He stood as if he couldn’t leave fast enough and disappeared with such speed, it made her head swim. Clearly she was the last person he wanted to see. Only this time, Ali didn’t take offense.
She’d come to the conclusion that she flustered Commander Dillon, which was a heady sensation. She recalled how gruff and rude he’d been in sick bay and, thanks to their brief conversation on Guam, she finally understood the reason. He’d thought she was married.
The next evening, Alison purposely delayed her meal and arrived at the same time as the night before. Sure enough Frank was there, sitting at the same table, lingering over coffee. He looked up and smiled uncertainly when he saw her.
“Good evening, Commander.” She greeted him the same way she had the previous night. After getting her meal, she chose a seat one table closer.
“Lieutenant Commander.” His eyes held hers, and he didn’t immediately leap up and run away.
“I have a question for you,” she said and again reached for the salt shaker. It was a convenient excuse to avert her gaze. She feared he might read her intense interest in him, which seemed to compound after each meeting.
He straightened. “Fire away.”
“Do I frighten you?”
He raised one eyebrow. “Truthfully? You terrify me.”
“Any particular reason?”
He expelled his breath. “As a matter of fact, there are several. Most of them would get me court-martialed if I mentioned them.”
“I see.” She didn’t really, but she was definitely curious.
“Does that amuse you?” he asked, his face deadpan.
“Commander, are you flirting with me?”
This question seemed to take him aback, and he frowned. “I can assure you I wouldn’t know how. Is that what you think I’m doing?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure, but I do have another question for you.”
“All right. I just hope it isn’t as difficult as the first.” A hint of a smile touched his eyes.
Alison dipped her fork into the creamy mashed potatoes. “I wonder, do you know anything about a bolt of red silk that was delivered to the ship in my name?”
“Red silk?” He shrugged. “I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”
“That isn’t an answer to my question, Commander.”
He glanced at his watch, and as if he’d suddenly realized he was late for an important meeting, abruptly stood. He grabbed his coffee cup and took one last swallow before he excused himself and hurried away.
Alison hadn’t known what to think when the silk had appeared in her quarters. She was able to track down the petty officer who delivered it, and learned that the man from the market had brought it to the docks. He’d left instructions that it should be taken directly to her. Alison had badly wanted that silk, but the price was more than she’d been willing to pay.
Just before she drifted off to sleep the night before, she’d remembered haggling with the silk merchant just before she’d run into Frank. He must have purchased it for her. It was the only thing that made sense—and yet it didn’t. But judging by the way he’d reacted to her questions this evening, she had to wonder.
The following night when Alison arrived at the wardroom, Frank wasn’t there. Her heart sank with disappointment. She really didn’t have much of an appetite and ate very little of her meal. She’d almost decided against coffee but it was her habit to end her dinner with a cup.
Navy Husband Page 17
