In a dark place in the back of her mind, Diana knew that she still had a choice. Was it one she was willing to make? She didn’t have months to decide.
Diana lifted her head and looked at Darien. She was furious with him for not telling her the truth. This is his fault—he ruined my life. The anger burning within Diana began melting her overwhelming anxiety and she grasped onto it like a life preserver in a deep sea of emotion.
“How could you?” she demanded to know. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Darien finally looked up at Diana, his eyes filled with his own inner pain and sorrow. They also flickered with the intense shame she could feel coursing through his heart. According to his people, he had committed the gravest of sins.
“I—I don’t know,” his voice pleaded. “No amount of apologizing can wash away my transgressions, but I was afraid of losing you. I thought that if you knew, no matter how small and impossible the chances, you wouldn’t love me as I love you.”
Darien’s words touched Diana, but failed to ease the anger she felt. She stood up from the sofa and walked over to the fireplace to stand in front of him.
Looking down on the man whose fears had put Diana in the most life shattering position imaginable, she slapped him hard across the face.
That same moment, a deep emotional pain inflamed in her heart and she fell to her knees, taking Darien’s head into her arms. As she held him to her chest, Darien latched onto her like a grieving child. Those strong arms, which had so often enveloped Diana and comforted her in their powerful embrace, lacked the resolve that had always been within them before. This time, Diana and Darien simply held each other, seeking some small amount of comfort in a devastatingly traumatic situation.
Diana finally broke the silence.
“What’s done is done,” she said, pulling away. “No amount of anger and resentment is going to change what happened. We just need to figure out where to go from here.”
Darien just looked at her, and Diana could tell by his eyes that his mind was in chaos. At times, Darien could be so trapped in his own head that his heart felt cut off from Diana and she couldn’t sense his emotional state. It was happening now, and it only made her feel more uneasy.
“This isn’t the time to shut me out,” Diana said, gazing intently into those gray eyes of polished stone. “What’s going on?”
“I need some time to figure this all out,” Darien said, standing up. His words lacked the comfort Diana had hoped for. He held his hand out for Diana to take, which she did, and he helped her up off the floor.
“What does that mean, exactly?” Diana asked, her heart seeking some sort of comfort from the man she loved.
“I have to go,” Darien replied. Even though she couldn’t feel it, Diana could tell he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I’ll be back.”
“Alright…” Diana replied, feeling dejected and confused. Why was he leaving her—now, of all times?
Darien took Diana in his arms, their lips meeting in a brief, but tender, moment, before he pulled away to address Terra.
“Terraiyah, please continue to take care of her until I return.”
“Of course,” she agreed with a nod.
Darien quickly made his way to the foyer closet and put on his black woolen overcoat. He turned back to Diana with eyes that were fountains of deep emotional pain.
“I will return,” he said, and after a pause that felt like a lifetime added, “I promise.”
Darien ventured out into the cold winter afternoon, alone, leaving Diana to stare at the large wooden door he had closed behind him.
Within moments, Diana fell to her knees and began to cry. The tumult of emotions coursing through her heart and into her person finally became too much to bear. The one person who should be by Diana’ side, comforting her through the one of most emotionally traumatic experiences of her life, had just abandoned her to deal with her pain on her own.
The soft touch of a hand on Diana’s shoulder startled her from within her sobbing—it was Terra. Diana found a comforting sense of irony in the fire mage’s compassion. Weeks ago, she had tried to end Diana’s life; now, as Terra went to her knees and pulled Diana to her chest, she knew the former assassin wanted nothing more than to take care of her. Nothing in Diana’s world made any sense.
The embrace felt awkward, but Diana latched onto Terra like a lifeline, burying her face in the bodice of her black dress.
The tears flowed like a river and Diana didn’t know if they would ever stop.
Chapter 22
I am crushed by the weight of this burden.
Blessed Mother, must I drink of this Grail?
Mighty Father, can you not take this cup
From these quivering hands pale ghostly white?
Sorrow fills my soul, even unto death.
Yet, it has come to me, the destined Queen.
Diana awoke in the same room she had the day before, exhausted, having no idea at what point she had actually fallen asleep. All Diana knew, was that she hadn’t stopped crying until the Veil finally took her into a realm exceedingly less terrifying than the one she was dealing with while awake.
After Diana pulled herself out of bed to brush her teeth in the adjoining bathroom, she immediately sat down in the white easy chair and stared out the window at the flurry of snowflakes falling on the world outside.
Even though she’d rested through the night, Diana felt too exhausted to think. No thoughts of the future; no worries of her problems—just a comforting vegetative state, staring at the falling snow.
When she finally heard the knock at the bedroom door, she had no idea what time it actually was, or how long she’d been staring out the window. It could have been a few minutes, or a few hours; she had no concept of time—did she even care?
The knock echoed within the silent room, but Diana had no motivation to answer. Eventually, she heard the door slowly crack open.
“There you are!” said the excited voice of Lani.
Diana didn’t turn around to face her friend; she only wanted to stare at the snow.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” her roommate continued. “You’ve haven’t been to the room in days; I was worried.” Lani came closer to Diana’s chair and stood in front of her, but Diana still couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge her friend’s presence. “I was in full-on panic mode, but then figured you must be here, and here you are.” Lani was quizzically studying Diana’s expressionless face; she knew something wasn’t right. “That Terra woman said you were sick. Are you okay?”
Diana had no desire to talk to anyone—not even Lani. Terra had let her be alone, and Miri seemed to be avoiding her; would it be too much to hope that Lani would just go away without Diana having to talk? Probably; Lani didn’t simply let things go. Diana was too physically and emotionally drained to deal with her roommate right now. She had no idea what to tell her.
“Are you gonna talk to me, or stay a vegetable?” Lani sounded irritated.
“I’m pregnant,” Diana said suddenly, and without feeling. She only had motivation to tell the truth; it was easier than lying.
Diana half expected her to think she was joking, but from her roommate’s silence, Lani knew that Diana was telling the truth. Only a shock of this magnitude could keep Lani quiet.
Lani, still silent, took Diana’s hand in hers from its resting place on the arm of the chair.
“Are you sure?” she asked, her brow furrowed with disbelief.
Diana simply nodded her reply.
“Does Darien know? Did he ever make it back?”
“Yes; he knows,” Diana replied with candor. The memory of Darien abruptly leaving filled her with anger and sorrow, but she couldn’t cry anymore. Diana was all cried out, her fountain of tears having dried up long ago. She was numb now. Numb to it all. All that was left was the falling snow.
“By the look of you, I’d say that things didn’t go so well.”
That’s the understate
ment of the century. Diana wondered if anything would ever go well again. What was left for her—death? A world shattering cataclysm brought on by the abomination growing inside of her womb? Was any of that even true?
Lani’s presence had awoken something inside Diana that had been comatose for hours—she was beginning to feel.
She didn’t like it.
The questions were flooding her mind again—the worry, the anxiety, and the need to know what was going to happen. Diana desperately wanted to tell Lani the whole truth—Naphalei, Moonshadows, all of it—but that would be selfish. Knowing the truth would just secure Lani a quick enthrallment and an end to her present, happy, existence in ignorance.
“What am I going to do, Lani?” Diana asked, finally looking to her friend for comfort.
“Whatever you wanna do, kiddo,” Lani replied with heartening conviction. “It’s the twenty-first century; this sort of thing isn’t the end of the world, anymore.”
Diana couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Lani’s ironic words had pushed Diana over the very edge of sanity and she’d finally cracked.
Lani looked baffled, and her almost horrified expression calmed Diana’s hysterics enough so that she could catch her breath.
“I’m sorry,” Diana said after exhaling calmly. “I don’t know why that was so funny. I’m just losing it, I guess.”
“It’s understandable,” Lani replied before pulling Diana into a consoling embrace. “I mean it, though; you still have options, and I don’t just mean termination. It’s your choice either way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Diana would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it within the first thirty seconds of knowing she was pregnant. In the past, she hadn’t dwelled on the controversial topic of abortion long enough to have an ethical opinion. Deep down though, she had always felt that such a thing wouldn’t cross her mind if she was ever in the situation. Now she was in the situation and it had crossed her mind—almost immediately. It would solve everything, wouldn’t it? If there was no pregnancy, then Diana’s world wouldn’t shatter to pieces. No leaving college, no Naphalei assassins, no cataclysms—just a mundane human future.
Darien would still have to go back to his homeland, though, and Diana would still need to make a choice in that regard. Give up everything and go with him, or never see each other again.
“I’m so tired of choices.” Diana bowled over in the chair from the weight of it all. “I can’t do it Lani; I just can’t.”
“It’s okay, sweety,” Lani said soothingly while she gently rubbed Diana’s back. “You don’t need to decide anything today. Give yourself some time.”
“I don’t know how much time I have,” Diana declared without thinking.
“It’s not an easy decision, Diana—and it shouldn’t be. You have a lot to weigh in your heart before you make a choice.”
Had Diana ever heard truer words? Could she really make that choice? It had seemed so easy at first. The thought had just popped into her mind—it was the most logical of all her choices.
Diana’s heart began to ache uncontrollably at the thought. The fire burning within her soul was begging her to stop thinking about logic and reason, pleading with her to listen to it and not her mind. How could something seem so reasonable, yet feel so terribly wrong?
“When it comes down to it,” Lani continued. “It’s your choice and no one else’s. But it’s one you have to live with, forever.” Lani seemed as if she’d had this sort of conversation a few times in the past. “But worrying about it now won’t change tomorrow. Let’s go back to our room for some pizza with Audrey. I think you need her tonight.”
Diana forced a smile for the sake of her friend’s efforts. “I’d like that.”
As Diana stood up from the chair, she realized how much her body ached. She had no idea how long she’d been sitting in the same position, but it had taken a toll on her bones and joints. After a long stretch, she took a moment to go to the bathroom and freshen up a bit.
When the two girls made their way downstairs, they were greeted by Marjorie holding a tray of tea and what looked to be shortbread. Terra was close behind her.
“We were just on our way to check on you,” Terra said with a smile. “Are you feeling better, Miss Selene? Would you like some tea?”
“I believe so, on both accounts, thank you,” Diana replied with her own smile. “And Terra, please, you can call me Diana. After last night, I’m pretty sure we’re more than casual acquaintances.”
Though Terra only nodded, Diana felt the scarlet-haired woman’s heart fill with the simple joy of being Diana’s close friend. It warmed Diana to know that she had at least conquered that particular barrier of hatred and prejudice. If she could soften the heart of Terraiyah Dawnbringer, perhaps Diana could perform other miracles as well.
The three women sat in the parlor together, drinking tea, while Terra checked Diana’s vitals and asked her a series of questions about her physical well-being. Lani’s presence was keeping Terra from asking the more important, magic-related, questions, however. Even with the invasive inquiries, Diana felt herself relaxing—which seemed such a foreign concept at that point in her life.
When the front door suddenly sprang open with force, the time of tranquility came to an abrupt halt.
A strong gust of cold winter wind blew across the foyer and into the parlor, sending chills up the length of Diana’s spine. They all turned to the entryway to see who had suddenly arrived.
“Where is she?!” bellowed a strong female voice that sounded terribly familiar.
Diana turned to Terra, who looked startled and alarmed—she obviously knew to whom the voice belonged. Terra quickly rose from her seat and left the parlor to greet the visitor. Diana and Lani instinctively followed her.
Upon seeing the visitor in the flesh, Diana immediately regretted following Terra and felt panic quickly rising.
The Lady of the Raven Throne had come to deal with Diana, herself.
Having left the pointed iron crown behind, allowing her fine, straight, black hair to fall to the small of her back, the enraged visage of the woman looked quite different from the one Diana had first encountered weeks ago. Though the elegant black gown had been replaced by a simple black cotton dress—which looked as if it could have been worn by a medieval peasant—the mantle of raven feathers still sat on her noble shoulders.
Upon seeing the three women, Edea’s face twisted into an accusing glare.
“You!” she declared, pointing at Diana, before immediately closing the distance between them.
“Is it true?” Edea demanded, gesturing to Diana’s stomach. “Is there truly a child in that wretched womb?”
Diana instinctively backed away from Edea’s threatening pointed hand.
“Edea, I beg you to remain calm,” Terra pleaded and Edea turned on her.
“You dare ask me to calm myself, Watcher Terraiyah? You are just as much to blame for this as my brother,” she turned her cold gaze back onto Diana. “And this…creature.”
Terra tensed up and her demeanor became considerably more formal. Diana found it disconcerting, considering she knew the two Naphalei women were as close as sisters.
“Forgive me, Lady Raven, I meant no disrespect.”
“I sure as hell do.” Lani spoke out in anger as she stepped closer to Edea. “We are all adults here, so you’d better get your finger out of my friend’s face before I break it off.”
Diana felt her mouth hang open on its own accord as she stared at her friend. She greatly appreciated Lani standing up to Edea, but her roommate had no idea of the power that the woman wielded. Lani could be dead in moments.
“Watcher Terraiyah, please have this animal removed from my presence immediately.” Edea did not even turn to acknowledge Lani.
Terra nodded to Marjorie and the housekeeper quickly came to Lani’s side to escort her out the door.
“Over my dead body,” Lani declared vehemently. “I’m not going to jus
t let you belittle my friend and treat her like trash.”
“Lani, please; I’ll be alright,” Diana pleaded. If Lani didn’t leave it would be her dead body. “I’ll meet up with you in a little bit, back at the dorm.”
“Are you sure?” Lani didn’t look convinced of Diana’s safety.
“Yes; I’m sure. Please go.”
“I don’t like this,” Lani finally consented. “But call me immediately if you need me.”
Lani looked at Diana with concern, one last time, before stepping outside along with Marjorie.
With Lani and Marjorie gone, Diana was now alone with the two Naphalei women—both of whom had tried to kill her at one time or another.
With her roommate safe, Diana’s first sense of fear at Edea’s sudden arrival seemingly evaporated. Perhaps she was just too emotionally drained to care anymore. Now, Diana just wanted answers. How did Edea even come to know of the pregnancy? Diana had only known for less than a day, herself. Did Terra tell her?
Diana was not about to let Darien’s powerful sister intimidate her. She was a Moonshadow—the magical human terror of elven legends. There was a power sleeping somewhere deep inside of Diana, waiting to be awoken.
The notion reminded Diana of her last encounter with the Lady Raven. The beguile ring had continued to work its magic despite Darien being called away. Had her own magic somehow powered the ring? She had prayed with all her heart for the ring to work, and it had. It was true— she had powers of her own. The revelation filled Diana with a confidence that she had never known before.
A wide, obviously fake, smile danced across Diana’s face. “You honor me, heart-sister,” she said irreverently. “To think that the Lady of the Raven Throne would journey so far, just to wave her powerful finger at a lowly human girl.” Diana mock curtsied. “Who can I thank for the pleasure?”
Diana looked to Terra for confirmation, but instead, found the fire mage’s face wide with astonishment. She couldn’t believe how Diana was talking to Edea, and Diana could almost detect a hidden smile forming at the corner of the former assassin’s mouth.
Moonshadow Page 39
