The Fallback

by Dietz, Mariah

  Levi’s eyes are at half-mast, lust sparkling from their blue depths. “That’s my girl.” His fingers plunge deeper into my hair, and he leans forward, his lips crashing against mine. There’s a need—a hunger—that grows as he kisses me deeper, harder, kissing away the demons that have been whispering fears and doubts since I first met this man.

  “Let’s skip dinner,” I whisper.

  Levi growls—the sound tickles my ears and makes me wish we could find a dark corner. He kisses me once more, and then his fingers lock with mine, and we’re rushing toward the exit, reciprocated smiles flashing as we laugh and steal glances at each other as though neither of us believes the moment or wants it to end.

  He opens the passenger door for me, I climb in, and he leans in, giving me another shot of straight liquor as his lips linger sweetly on mine before biting my bottom lip and then kissing me again.

  When he pulls away, I lean against the leather seat, working to catch my breath. Levi climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the engine with a roar. His phone rings, and without looking, he silences it, putting the car into reverse.

  Before we get out of the parking lot, it rings again.

  “Do you think you should check it?” I ask.

  He shakes his head, silencing it again. “Nope.”

  It rings again.

  “Are you sure?”

  Levi groans, reaching for the offending electronic. “This is Levi.”

  I hear a muffled voice on the other end of the phone as we remain at a stop in the parking lot, heat seeping from the vents as blue lights highlight all the buttons and features of the car.

  “Is Damon around?”

  The muffled voice says something in reply that has Levi sighing before he looks at me, disappointment closing his eyes. “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  He hangs up and puts the car back into gear.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “There was a fight at the club. My bartender hit someone, and the cops are there.”

  “Oh no. Is everyone okay?”

  Levi shrugs. “I hope not. I’m hoping my bartender broke this asshole’s fucking nose. If he didn’t, I’m going to.”

  “Okay. Well, before you do, would you mind telling me how to post bail? I’ve never done it before.”

  The red traffic light shines across Levi’s face as he turns to me, smiling as he shakes his head. “Are you going to add it to your blog?”

  “There’s always a chance. Do we know this guy whose nose you want broken?”

  “He’s an ex of one of my employees. After he put her in the hospital with a broken rib, she finally left his broke ass. He’s not allowed anywhere near her or the club.” His foot pushes harder against the gas pedal, his jaw and fingers flexing.

  “How can I help? I have a client who is one hell of a defense lawyer. I don’t know what she does specifically, but she talked to me about a couple of cases she’d been working on, and it was stuff like this.” I dig into my purse for my phone I’d gotten back as we’d cleared the exit. “If you need PR help, I can get it cleaned up. Also, if your employee was arrested, I know the police commissioner.”

  Levi pulls his head back. “Weren’t you just asking me how to post bail?”

  “Well, that was when it was you, not your employee,” I tease. “Plus, I think there was a rule about not showing all your cards or something on the first date.”

  “I thought we didn’t follow the rules?”

  “I don’t know. Rules seem easier.”

  “Easier than what?”

  “Hope. Promises.” I shrug. “Whatever.”

  Levi stares at me, streetlights drawing shadows across his face. “Call me a fool, but fuck the rules. This isn’t some couple of weeks’ fling. There’s something…”

  Hope builds in my chest, growing wings that are impossible to stop.

  “We have something. This doesn’t have to be a promise or obligation. Let’s just let it be what it is and have fun until we don’t.”

  My hope falters; doubt encircles.

  I’m grateful this asshat ultimately went to Levi’s club, forcing us to stop. Maybe fate is telling me something.

  36

  When Levi passes by the exit to take me home, I turn to him, the music filling the flashy sports car so loud I have to yell to speak over it. “You can take the next exit, too.”

  He turns, his blue eyes darkened with anger and the night. “We’re still in Indiana?” There’s question in his tone.

  “Right… I live in Indiana.”

  His brows furrow. “This will only take a moment.”

  “Yeah, but I think you got the wrong impression. See, I’m not…”

  “Confusing? Frustrating? Enigmatic? You are. All of them. You’re also funny, and smart, and creative, and while I get the impression this scares you”—he waves a hand between us—“this thing between us, I’m going to shoulder this for both of us until you realize it’s worth it.”

  The idea of he and I becoming a we is terrifying. It’s also inexplicably exciting.

  “Is this because you see me as a challenge? Because I’m not falling at your feet?”

  Levi shakes his head. “There’s something different about you. I recognized it the second I saw you.”

  “What?”

  He shakes his head again. “I have no idea.”

  My attempt at laughing is as ludicrous as his claim. “That’s ridiculous. You didn’t know me—you don’t know me. Claiming there’s something different about me is absurd. I’m boring. I prefer pajamas to dresses, barefoot to shoes, and I am realizing that I really suck at almost all girly things. My idea of fun is finding the best doughnut shops in town, though you and Jerry sort of ruined that for me recently. And I’ve realized I’m about to turn thirty and I don’t think I know who in the hell I even am.”

  “You’re almost thirty?”

  “How old did you think I was?”

  “Not thirty.”

  “Cradle robber.”

  He laughs. “I didn’t think you were twenty.”

  “Why are you staring at me like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re looking for wrinkles on my face.”

  Levi closes his eyes, his laughter growing. “Did you know that when you get upset, your nose crinkles and you bite the inside of your cheek?”

  “I’m not upset. I’m flustered.”

  For some reason, this only makes him smile wider. “And when someone pays you a compliment, you deflect it and look away, which concerns me. Because I’m starting to believe you’re not actually hearing what people are saying to you.”

  “Are you hearing what I’m saying to you?”

  “I know Felicity, her kids, and husband are family to you and that when you feel threatened, your brilliance shines and you become really funny.”

  “I’m not funny,” I say. “I’m mildly sarcastic, but most people don’t actually catch on, so I generally just sound like a moron.”

  “Will you shut up and accept my compliment?” He looks at me again, daring me to oppose. It’s harder than it should be to keep his gaze and not refute his words—and even harder to consider them being true.

  “Prepare yourself. Prepare your walls of defense and your excuses because I’m ready. I’m ready for all of it. I’m going to be here to break down every brick you build and shatter every lie you try to believe. And tonight, after I clean up this fuckface’s mess, I’m going to sleep with you, and you’re going to forget caring about what my mother might think, or do, or say and realize me being your client means jack shit.”

  I stare at him, searching for words of protest, but I can’t find a single one because more than I want to object … I want to believe him.

  He grins. “By the way, I’m going to be busy for the next two weeks.”

  “What?”

  “Apparently, I’ve got to work on my doughnut skills. That old fucker.”

  I giggle so hard te
ars form in my eyes, and when I look across at Levi, he’s looking back at me like I’ve just hung the moon.

  Several cop cars are in front of the club, double-parked, their lights strobing against downtown.

  “They would make this a production,” Levi says, going around the block and pulling into the alley. He opens a garage door with the press of a button, and we drive below the club into a small parking garage filled with massive beams and numerous cars. Parking in Chicago is not only expensive, it also reminds me of a game of Tetris. Personally, I’m willing to fork over forty bucks on the rare occasion I come downtown and can’t use my company card, because situations like this make me so nervous I sweat. Levi, however, pulls forward and then reverses into a spot without having to make a single correction.

  “That’s like a thrill ride,” I tell him.

  “What? The garage?”

  I nod. Levi chuckles, and like I did the first time I heard it, I lean closer, enjoying the deep rumble that somehow paints my lips with a matching expression.

  “I’ll take you to my office so you don’t have to deal with the craziness.”

  I shrug. “I don’t mind.”

  His hand goes to my back. “I do.” He leads me to a back stairwell, and we climb three floors before he pulls out a set of keys and unlocks a door. Inside is an office much larger than the one at the bar we’d stopped at. This one is also far more elaborate, making it clear he spends more time here. There are several monitors on his desk, and the walls are decorated with achievements and awards. There isn’t a single photo among them.

  “What?” he asks, stepping up beside me.

  I shake my head, the gesture slight. “What?” I ask in return.

  “You made a face.”

  “I did?”

  The left side of his lips quirks.

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  A smile claims his mouth. “The door will automatically lock behind me. No one should bother you up here. But if you need anything, you can call my cell phone. Hopefully, this won’t take long.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to my temple before turning to the door.

  He stops with one hand on the door and turns to me, his stare intent. “You won’t sit up here and talk yourself out of this, will you?”

  “I’ve spent the past several weeks doing that, and yet here I am.”

  “That’s not very assuring.”

  “Really?”

  “Maybe you should come with me. If it looks like you’re overthinking things, I’ll just punch someone in the face.”

  “Because that will speed up the process.”

  “It’s so I look tough. Manly. Sexy.” He flexes, but I don’t get to enjoy the show because I’m laughing so hard my eyes are watering.

  “No? That’s not working for you?”

  “Well, you know me, the prospect of waiting to bail you out of jail is mighty enticing but… no.”

  “Is that a firm no? You kind of wavered at the end.”

  “Oh my gosh, go fix whatever problem there is downstairs.” I take two steps to reach him and shove him toward the door, but he doesn’t move except to take a single step back, his chest fully exposed for a moment before he encircles me with his arms. His lips land on mine possessively, deliciously. He tastes like hope and comfort. Then his tongue slides across my upper lip, and my knees become as weak as my reasons for stopping this.

  “I’ll be back as soon as possible.” He peppers my cheeks and lips with more kisses and then leaves me feeling dazed.

  I’m scrolling through my emails when Levi’s office door clicks open with a key. It’s only been a few moments, not even long enough for me to reply to Catherine’s request for best mother of the groom dance songs. Then I see Levi, a short blonde at his side. Though her head is bowed, I can see that her cheeks are red and tearstained.

  I’m on my feet in a second, glancing around for a tissue box that doesn’t exist.

  “Simone, this is my friend Brooke,” Levi says. “Why don’t you have a seat up here until everything’s done.”

  She sniffs and nods, keeping her face turned to the floor.

  Levi glances at me, apologies rolling off of him like a breeze.

  I shake my head to make him stop and walk toward them, placing a hand on her shoulder. She visibly flinches, making my heart ache. I look back to Levi and nod, assuring him to go.

  “Your hair is so beautiful,” I tell her. “I recently tried to improve my hair by deep-conditioning, and let me tell you, it was a mess. You know that look when you’re sick and don’t wash your hair for a week? That was me. And it wouldn’t go away.” I slide my hand across her shoulders, leading her to the oversized couch. “I had to ask a friend for help because my hair literally wouldn’t dry—it was that greasy.”

  Simone tilts her face up, a tired smile warring with her sadness. “Being a girl sucks.”

  “Sometimes,” I say, nodding.

  Tears fall freely down her cheeks, and my own eyes water in response. I’ve never been good at watching others cry alone. I scoot closer to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. This time, she doesn’t recoil at my touch but falls into me.

  Levi’s frozen in the doorway, watching us. I swallow back tears as I run my hand over her hair. Though my mom wasn’t there for most of my life, Grammy, Felicity, and Felicity’s mom have always been there for me, teaching me compassion, empathy, and how the best medicine is often a caring touch.

  Levi returns an hour later. I’m sitting on the couch with Simone’s head in my lap. She fell asleep after confessing how difficult it’s been to get over her broken relationship, leading her to exchanging calls and messages with her ex. I know next to nothing about giving advice to anyone in an abusive relationship; however, my past and the responses I’ve received when people have learned that I was raised by my grandma have me prepared to not pass judgment but offer more sympathy. I know what it’s like to be starved for love, expecting it and accepting it in methods that are often difficult and strange to understand.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “My lawyer showed up and wanted to talk shop and give advice to everyone involved. And one of the cops and I have history, which didn’t help. And…” He rubs a hand across his forehead.

  I wave away his words. “Don’t be sorry. I’m glad we came. This—you coming to help—it was way sexier than a fancy dinner.”

  Levi sighs, his gaze so heavy I struggle to maintain it. “You better prepare yourself for me to be around for a very long time because I have a feeling it would hard to get over you.”

  Gabe sleeping with the brunette in our bed springs to the forefront of my thoughts, creating an entire slew of evidence that I’m not. It’s nearly as painful as thinking of my past and admitting my parents didn’t love me in ways I wanted—needed—as a child and even now.

  “Don’t think of him,” Levi says, reading my thoughts. He crosses the room, his voice still hushed as he shakes his head. “He didn’t deserve your time then and certainly doesn’t now.”

  Embarrassment or maybe my need to argue has me looking away. “Did everything get cleared up?”

  “Yeah. The asshole was arrested, and my lawyer’s on his way to bail my employee out.”

  Surprise has me looking back at Levi. “He was arrested?”

  He nods, running a hand over his face again.

  “What should we do?” I glance back at Simone.

  “Her roommate works here as well and is waiting for her downstairs.”

  Simone stirs. She rolls over, blinking several times as she looks at me.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  She nods slowly, then sits up, noticing Levi has returned. “I’m so sorry, boss. I had no idea he was going to come. He’s been so sweet lately… I have no idea where this came from.”

  “Only you can make the decision to leave him and be done, Simone. But you know how toxic your life becomes when he’s a part of it.”

  “I know.” She drops her hands into her palms. �
��I’m so sorry. I know I cost you money, and Alex got arrested, and I ruined your date…” She groans. “You finally had a date! I like her. You did good.” She points at me. “And she’s pretty, not in that fake way like the last one.”

  Last one?

  My stomach turns acidic. It’s not reasonable or fair, because of course he would date, but it still leaves me feeling sour.

  “No. No. He doesn’t date,” she says, placing her hand on my thigh, assuring me my thoughts were just etched across my face. “The last woman he brought here was his girlfriend, and none of us liked her because all she’d do was order people around.”

  I’m contemplating polite ways of asking her to stop sharing with me because while her intentions are benign—to be assuring even—it only fills me with doubt, when there’s a knock on the office door.

  Levi quietly sighs, clearly relieved as well. “Hey, Gretchen,” he says, pushing the door open farther.

  Simone stands before looking back at me. “Thanks for … everything. I really appreciate it.”

  I also stand, hoping this will be the last time she has to endure a night like this. “Take care of yourself, and if you ever need anything, you know how to reach me.”

  She smiles. “And I’ll check out your blog. You’ve inspired me to go rock climbing.” She hugs me, and though I’m used to protesting upon receiving a compliment, I keep my mouth shut.

  When the door closes behind Gretchen and Simone, Levi turns to me. “Do you have plans for tomorrow? Can I hijack your entire night? It’s already”—he looks at his wrist—“past midnight. Can I just tell you again that this isn’t how the night was supposed to go?”

  “That’s right. You were planning to brainwash me with sex.”

  He laughs. “That wasn’t part of the original plan either.”

  “What were the plans?”

  “We were supposed to go to the escape room, then try out this vegan restaurant a buddy of mine told me is the best in Chicago, and then I was planning to take you to this pop-up bar.”

  “A pop-up bar?”

  Levi nods. “It’s kind of ridiculous. It’s loud because they have to use generators, and the place is lit with Christmas lights, which kind of confuses your senses because they’re the multicolored ones, and there’s, like, fake palm trees and three drink choices, but the bands they manage to get are always ridiculously good.”