“Hello dear.” Sister Superior called to me, and I rushed to her warm embrace. Of all the spirits who guided us, she was always the most loving. The role always went to those who had the biggest hearts.
“Hello, love.” I kissed her cheek. “How goes the battle for good and evil?”
She smiled and pointed to the table. “Sit. It’s funny you should ask me that.”
I handed her the pot roast and took a seat as I was instructed. She cleared her throat. “I’ve kept you too long. I always do with the good ones. I hate to let you go.”
I patted the chair next to me. “Come sit. Tell me what has you down. The world has been ending a long time. Do you feel it acutely tonight?”
“I feel it whenever I do what I’m about to do. You see, I’ve found your five.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Then it’s time.”
I would leave. I would play my role. I would help one person at a time until they could help themselves, until they helped each other. Until the world remembered there was more love than hate. I would be a Sister.
Eventually. First I had to be born.
Sister Superior clicked her tongue. “First you have to say yes. You don’t have to. I think they’re your five. But it’s always up to you. Others say no. They wait and find the right ones. It is forever, after all. You can’t be unsure.”
Well, that was true. “Either our souls will speak or they won’t.”
She gestured toward the backyard, and I followed. Five sparks of light floated around. I laughed and covered my mouth. It had been such a long time since I’d seen the non-corporeal. I’d forgotten how beautiful we all were when it came down to it, bright lights of energy, balls of heat, bouncing around and seeking the other parts of our own light.
I looked down. “They may not like me, you know. I know you love me. But they could also say no.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that.”
One of the balls of light rushed to my side immediately. I gasped. He was so bright I could hardly look at him. Seconds later, a man appeared where his light had been. He was tall and blond with part of his hair pulled back into a bun.
He dropped to his knees. “My lady.”
“Now none of that,” I shook my head. “I’m not a lady. You’re all so bright. You have to be superior beings. You outrank me.”
His blue eyes met my own. “But you are my lady?” He seemed genuinely confused. “I could see it when you walked here in the snow. You are the one I’ve waited for. The one we’ve all waited for.”
And then they came, the other four of them appearing from balls of light. They were so beautiful. It would take a little time to know for sure, and we had that. Sister Superior was almost never wrong. If she said they were my matched, then that was what they were.
The second one took my hand in his. He was equally as handsome, dark with piercing eyes and a quick smile. “You honor us. You glow like the sun. Did you know? Can you see your own soul?”
“I think you’re the ones who honor me. We’re not going to happy times. Things could go wrong.” As humans, we always had the best intentions, but it didn’t mean we would do as we were meant to. We could destroy our own destinies and not even know it.
A redheaded one smiled. “Not possible. We’ve all known each other a long time. For all of us to feel it, it is fated. Assuming you do.”
“Oh, she’s feeling it.” A tall, brown-haired man approached. “She’s just shy. But maybe if we can make her laugh?”
“Her heart is true.” The last one answered. “Give us a chance.”
I grinned, heat infusing my cheeks. “Let’s give it a go.”
I wished I could stay in that dream, but it wasn’t to be. The balls of light disappeared, one by one, and I was pushed back into pain. Frank stared down at me. “Wake up.”
I jolted upright. I was in a carriage. Milo grabbed me, pulling me to him while across from him Bryant was out cold on the seat. “Oh divinities, is he dead?”
I thought I’d saved him, but maybe I hadn’t. Milo kissed my cheeks. “No, he’s in that co-joined deep sleep. Might take him even longer. Lots of healing.”
“Are you okay?” I touched him everywhere I could reach, needing to see to it he was whole.
“Am I all right? Are you? You were barely breathing when they brought you here. I’d just woken up. You were going to die for him. You saved him, and you almost ended yourself.”
Milo’s light surrounded him, bright and strong for a second before I couldn’t see it anymore.
He wanted an answer? “I won’t let you die if I can help it. You are mine. Destined. Chosen by Sister Superior. The real one. We’re all just—”
I cut off my mouth. Speaking the words felt wrong, like they were forbidden, as though to say them would be too much.
He raised an eyebrow. “We’re all just balls of light—souls bouncing around, waiting for other parts.”
“Oh Milo. I didn’t remember.”
He shook his head. “Me neither until the sleep I had. You’re mine. You’re also his. He’s going to be furious with you, as I would be. It is our honor to die for you. It is our role to protect you. Not the other way around.”
I kissed him hard. “I’ve always been weird, Milo. You know that.”
He grinned at me.
Seventeen
We stopped for the night at a local inn that had seen better days. This far north there wouldn’t be high quality places to stay. We’d be lucky if it was clean. Who could afford hospitality that cost money in the northern Deadlands?
Mason hauled Bryant over his shoulder. Bryant was still out cold. Garrett and Kieran huddled together, taking care of the horses. They’d put them up for the night and then stay with Mason and Bryant, giving Milo some time alone with me.
He held my hand gently. The innkeeper’s wife ran around trying to set up rooms for us. She didn’t know who we were, but our gold was good. She wanted to make us happy, which took very little. There had never been a group more in need of sleep than us.
Milo told her I was his wife, and she ushered us into a room with a big-sized bed, giving the others rooms with several smaller ones.
“Where am I going to be sleeping?” Frank raised his eyebrows at me, and Milo hissed in his breath. The demon had come back.
“We’re going to ignore you like you’re not even there. But before I do that, I want you to know that when you nearly killed Bryant, you changed me. When I figure out how to kill you—not throw you away, not somehow get possessed by you—I will make it hurt.”
He didn’t like my remark, and I found myself on my knees. I hated that he had control over my body. It hurt when he moved me, and being powerless was the worst feeling ever.
Milo bent over and hauled me up. He turned to address the demon. “You can stay here all night if you want to. We can’t hurt you. Yet. But every moment you do, every bit you hurt her, we will take it out of you in punishment. Admit it; you miss the light so much you can’t stay away from it. You had no business coming to the train that day. No one saw it because she was way too powerless to be interesting to you at that point. But you couldn’t stay away. She glows like a beacon of glory. Always has. I get it. I can’t stay away from her either. I had to wait, remain there and wait while they were all born year after year until it was my turn. I yearned for her. And so do you. Because it’s been so long since you’ve seen the light you can’t bear to be away from her.”
I put my hand on his arm. Frank’s eyes were glowing. Maybe Five wanted to stop. “Milo.”
“Admit it. You miss it so hard, unclean thing, you’ll never be over the longing for the light. Who knows? Maybe if you beg, Divinity will forgive you.”
Frank popped away, and Milo took a breath. “He’ll stay away until he thinks of the next horrible thing to do.”
“I don’t want you provoking his ire.”
He took my hand in his. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect
you. It is my—”
I put my hand over his mouth, staring into his white eyes. “If you say ‘right to die’ or ‘honor to die’ or something like that, I will make you pay for it.”
He raised his eyebrows before he kissed my palm. I moved it away. “How would you do that, my love?”
“I have my ways.”
He stepped back. “That so? Enlighten me.”
I pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him. He was indulging me. I’d never be able to move him otherwise. But I did have some tricks up my sleeve. I tickled him. He reared up. He hadn’t seen it coming. His laugh filled the room, kicking all remaining elements of Frank out for the moment. He flipped me over, and even through the white eyes I could see heat in his gaze.
“I cannot believe you just did that.”
I bit my bottom lip. “I’m not so good now, am I?”
“Still the best soul I’ve ever seen.” He kissed me softly. “I love you. I love you. I love you. When I woke up, everything was in chaos. Bryant was old cold. You were gray. Terror pretty quickly replaced everything else. I can’t believe I wasn’t there for you, wasn’t there for Bryant.”
I bit his bottom lip, and he moaned. “You were doing what you needed to do, which was transform. No one blamed you.”
“I do.” My guys were great at taking responsibility for the world’s problems as though they’d caused them.
“Make love to me, Milo.”
He didn’t have to be asked twice. Milo knew how to kiss, so I was breathless and dying for more. He didn’t push, didn’t force it, but the gentle caresses, the light dabs of his tongue to mine, I wanted more, so much more.
He unbuttoned my shirt with one hand while the other drew lazy circles on my cheek with his thumb. I shivered with desire and knew he needed to lose control, too. Otherwise he wouldn’t ever really let himself go.
I reached between us, shoving my hand down his pants until I found his erection. He sucked in his breath, his eyes widening. “In a hurry, love?”
“Quiet.” I wouldn’t have him analyzing this until he could take control. “Close your eyes and feel me loving you.”
I palmed his erection, and he sucked in a breath. A thought dawned on me, and it made me smile. I wondered if I could manage to get him in my mouth, and if he would like it. Gently, I tugged down his pants. He’d kept his eyes closed, as I’d told him to do. Not knowing exactly what was going on had to be hard on Milo.
He was a planner.
When I’d freed him from the confines of clothes, I stroked him once, a long single movement, and watched his cock jump in my hands. He made the slightest noise in his throat while one of his hands came up to grip the top of the headboard.
My mouth watered. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? I’d never done this, and I didn’t want to hurt him. Gently, I placed the tip of his cock in my mouth and sucked down. He let out a gasp followed by a long moan. His hips jerked, bringing him deeper inside of my throat. I loved the sensation. His eyes flew open, and from where I watched his face, I could see the heat in them.
“Anne, wow. You don’t have to …”
There was nothing have to about it. I showed him by starting to move. Over and over, I took him as far down my throat as I could manage. He was big; even ignoring the slight discomfort, I couldn’t take him all the way in my mouth. Instead, I wrapped a hand around the bottom of his erection to finish what I couldn’t fit.
Soon, his hips were moving against me, and I couldn’t help my own moans. This was so hot. This was me in control of his pleasure, and I loved it.
“No more.” His voice was strained. “I need to be inside of you, and I need to see to your pleasure. I have to. I …”
I kissed him, letting him draw me around until he could flip me over. He pressed his finger inside of me, finding my clit, and then he sucked in a long breath. “You’re so wet.”
“Giving you pleasure gives it to me.” Milo took my mouth again, caressing me with long plunges of his tongue against mine. I closed my eyes and let him love me however he wanted to. I needed him as much as he did me.
When he scooted down to enter me, I opened my lids to watch. He was so beautiful, like something that wasn’t quite real. I touched his chest, seeing his light combine with my own. “Can you see that?”
Out of all of them, he connected the most with what we had been. He smiled. “I can always see it when I’m with you.”
With a gentle push, he was inside of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him deeper. I wanted as much of him as I could have. He groaned, sliding even further into my warmth. My muscles clenched around his cock. All of it was pure pleasure for me.
“Milo.” There was nothing else I could say except his name.
He pressed his forehead to mine, and with a jerk of his hips he started to move. Slowly at first, but quickly he picked up the pace.
I tried to match him, and before long my hips met his as though we’d been doing this together forever. His face was pained, and I knew how hard he was trying to hold on. I needed more friction from him and arched my hips so he would rub my clit more with each movement. Pleasure rolled through me, and my head fell backwards, my neck unable to hold it up anymore as the explosion about to happen rocked me from the inside out.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I came around him, giving Milo everything I had and begging him, silently, to take it.
He followed right after me, my name like a prayer on his lips.
I must have fallen asleep right there with him still inside of me. Or maybe I drifted into that other space that I could never explain to anyone else, the nothingness that came with pleasure.
I woke up some time later with my head on Milo’s chest. His arm was flung above his head, and he snored the sleep of a man who needed some rest. Regeneration sleep wasn’t the same, I guessed. Frank stood in the corner, and I ignored him.
“You won’t be able to pretend for much longer. You are going to lose total control soon. Those movements? They’re nothing. You’ll wish you had died at the hand of the demon on the road.”
The door slammed open, and Milo jumped awake, immediately alert. Bryant stood in the frame; he stared at me, white-eyed, and if the set of his jaw was any indication, really, really mad at me. He turned his ire on Frank.
“Out.” He pointed at him. “Out.”
The demon laughed, but I made note that he did just what Bryant told him to do. “Milo,” Bryant went on, “I need to speak to her. Alone.”
Milo groaned before he got out of bed. He leaned over to kiss me. “Love you.”
He pulled on his pants before he patted Bryant on the arm. “Go easy. She loves you. You know how she lives in the light. She wouldn’t lose you.”
Bryant waited until Milo walked out to round on me. He pointed at me. “You nearly died. I could feel it. You gave and you gave. You would have ended yourself to save me.”
I got out of the bed, heading toward the small washroom. “And your point is what?”
“That’s not even remotely acceptable.” He followed me into the bathroom and stood behind me when I turned on the water. “That is not your job. You are my beloved. I take care of you.”
I shook my head. “How does that work exactly? Are you saying you love me more than I love you?”
He stopped moving and got still. “No, I wasn’t saying that. I can actually feel how you love me. I can’t believe it, but I feel it.”
“Why can’t you believe it?” I stepped into the shower and let the hot water hit me. If he wanted to stand there and scowl, he could go ahead and do so. “I saw memories of us you may not even realize you have. I assure you I got the better end of the deal.”
He was quiet. “I’m not sure what you mean. But I love you more than I love myself.”
“Well, I feel the same way. So if I want to sacrifice myself, I can go ahead and do so the same as you can. You don’t have sole ownership of wanti
ng to keep the person you love alive. Sorry.”
I was tired. Frank was pulling at my energy. It had gotten to where I could feel it when he happened to be sucking at me. A slight, dull ache formed behind my eyes.
Bryant tugged back the curtain that separated us. His eyes weren’t angry anymore, and the lines of his face were more concerned than furious. “You’re not feeling right.”
“You can feel that, can you?” I shook my head. “You guys are getting more out of this co-joining than I am at this point. I don’t have any idea what you’re thinking or …”
Fully dressed, he stepped under the water and pulled me against him. “When we get the monster out of you, you’ll have us inside of you. You’ll feel us.”
I closed my eyes. “Don’t be angry I saved your life. I may not be able to feel how we’re co-joined yet, but I love you.” I could still see the ball of light he’d been when we’d lived with the spirits. This lovely man had no idea how high up he was in the spiritual world.
He held me under the spray. “Hold on for me, Anne. Don’t go under to the demon.”
“I’m … tired.”
He kissed my cheek. “I know.”
“You’re pale.” Kieran stared at me across the carriage. He’d never been inside with me before, as far as I could remember. The general consensus I could make out from listening when they all talked was that Kieran needed to co-join with me.
I loved him so much, but I didn’t think I had the energy. “Sorry, what?”
Frank had taken to singing. He laughed a lot too. The closer we got to the mines, the louder he got.
He lifted his hand, and my hand lifted. I stared at it. Kieran couldn’t see him; he wouldn’t know exactly what was happening. I sighed. “It might be better for you if we don’t co-join. I don’t know what exactly is going to happen to the others when this goes sour.”
“Why are you suddenly pessimistic? Wait, don’t answer. The demon.” He rubbed his eyes. One second he was across from me, and the next his mouth met mine. “I love you.”
Tradition Be Damned (Last Hope Book 1) Page 18
