by Dyan Chick
"I never met her," I said.
"They didn't tell you anything, did they?" he said.
I shook my head. "Kay says you're my father. But I've never met either of my parents."
He walked over to me, slower and more cautious than he had before. I flinched and took a step back, and he paused, then continued. "I have to know the truth. For me to find out, you need to stand still."
A lump rose in my throat, and I swallowed back the apprehension. Tristan hadn't ever harmed me, but he'd threatened me. He worked for Terra, and I didn't trust him. But there was no fighting against the realization that was rising inside me. I could tell from the way he looked at me that he was just as certain as I was. He was my father.
Tristan stopped moving in front of me and reached a hand out, resting it on the side of my head. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
I opened my mouth to speak, but as I did, a memory flashed through me. In rapid-fire momentum, I watched as nurses surrounded me, the cries of a baby heard but not seen. Blinking, I looked around as icy fear filled my veins. A woman was sprawled out on blood-soaked white sheets. She wasn't moving.
My heart raced, my breathing quickened and an uncontrollable rush of every emotion I had inside me filled me at once. I dropped to the ground as the vision faded, then threw up.
I sat down on the dirt and let the tears come. It was as if twenty years of built up sorrow was all pouring free from me at once.
Tristan sat down next to me and rested his hand on my knee. The weight of another person there with me helped me to slow my breathing, and the cries no longer came out in gasps.
Wiping my eyes and my mouth, I turned to look at him. His eyes met mine, and it was as if we exchanged a silent agreement. For the first time in my life, I was mourning my dead mother, the person I was supposed to love like no other. He seemed to understand, he shared that love for her. While my feelings regarding him were still a jumble of confusion, there was no denying the pain I was feeling for the woman who had died to give me life.
We sat in silence for several minutes, until all the tears were dry. Without speaking, Tristan stood, then offered his hand to me. Numbly, I took it. This time, when the birds circled the two of us, I tried to embrace it, wondering if this was my legacy.
We landed in the last place I expected, the street in front of Terra's place.
My stomach twisted into knots. "What are we doing here? Why did you bring me here?"
He glared at me. "You might be my daughter, but there's a war to win."
Throwing open the door, he pushed me inside.
Terra was waiting for us. As if she knew all along exactly when we would walk through those doors.
I stood frozen in place, my feet unable to move. Last time I'd seen Terra, I'd used magic against her. Could I do that again and run?
"Sit down, Ara," Terra said.
One of her wolves, in human form, shoved a chair into my backside. Three more of them stood in front of the door. I wasn't getting out of here easily. Whatever I did, it was going to involve some serious planning. I sat down and waited for her to talk.
Tristan moved in front of me, blocking my view of Terra. "You knew the whole time."
"Of course I knew, why do you think I've been looking for her?" Terra's voice was smooth and disinterested. "It never mattered if we had a member of the old Sayge line, what made this one special was her duality. Half Dark-Fae, Half Sayge. She's one-of-a-kind."
"You knew how I felt about Mina."
"Which is why I didn't tell you she was pregnant when I sent her away. She was supposed to go to a safe house, where I would be able to claim the child after it was born, instead, she ran." Terra took a step to the side, bringing her into my view. She wore a smirk on her face, seemingly enjoying the reaction she was getting from Tristan.
"You sent her away? What else are you hiding, you deceitful bitch?"
"Don't you worry about that," Terra said. "Now that she's here, we can finish the spell and go home."
"What makes you think I want to help you?" Tristan said.
"I don't need your help, Tristan. I was planning on eliminating you and all your kind once I steal Brenon's magic." A blue light shot from Terra's fingers, striking Tristan.
He cried out and doubled over for just a second before righting himself. Behind me, I heard growls just before the wolves launched themselves at Tristan. He spilt into a hundred crows, all flying in different directions, and the room was filled with yelps and caws as the animals attacked each other.
I jumped from the chair and ran toward the door, only to find Terra standing in front of it, blocking my exit. "Where do you think you're going? Back to that no-good brother of mine? You think there's anywhere you can go where you'll be safe from me?"
I stood there, feeling too overcome to process anything. There wasn't any way out, and even if there was, did it matter? Could I ever fight Terra?
A dark cloud of beating wings passed over me, and I covered my face as the mass of birds engulfed me. When I moved my hands away, I saw Tristan in front of me.
He lifted his arms, and a black mist flowed from his hands, as it spread, darkness swallowed the room.
Arms wrapped around me and I screamed. A hand slapped over my mouth and lips brushed against my ear. "Run, Ara. Run."
Tristan shoved me, and I blindly reached out in front of me, moving as quickly as I could through the room. Chairs and other furniture blocked my path from time to time, but I kept going to what I hoped was a rear exit.
Shit. I tumbled to the ground after catching the edge of a table leg with my foot. As I started to push myself up, I realized I could see down here. The mist was rising, leaving about a foot of visible space on the ground. Crawling, I made my way to the hallway. There wasn't any of the dark smoky substance here, so I stood and ran.
There was only one thought in my head as I flew through emergency exit doors, siren wailing in my wake, I had to get to Brenon.
Chapter 9
After a few blocks of running, I slowed down and tried to figure out where I was. Cars rushed by and somewhere in the distance, I heard the sounds of construction workers hammering away. It was like the whole world kept going, but for me, everything had changed. How was it that none of these people knew what was hiding around them in plain sight? How had I avoided finding out sooner?
A VW Bug that looked like it had been teleported here from the 70's pulled over to the curb next to me. Chills ran down my spine, and I spun on my heels, heading the opposite direction. I couldn't see any of Terra's cronies driving a car like that, but the last thing I needed to do was drop my guard.
"Ara, turn around and get in the damn car."
My heart pounded, and a rush of cold fear rose through me. I should run. Get away from here. But the voice was oddly familiar, and curiosity beat out reason. I glanced behind me to see a woman standing by the driver's side door.
"Now, Ara," Gia swept her arms toward to the passenger side. "Let's go. I don't want to have to fight those drooling fleabags that follow Terra around."
For a second, I hesitated. Could I trust Gia? She had healed me when Miles smashed my jaw, but she wasn't a member of the circus, and my aunt had said she was bad news. Though Aunt Kay felt that way about all the Fae, too. Screw it. I ran to the car and jumped into the passenger seat.
The car peeled away from the curb, a cloud of dark gray exhaust left in our wake. The car lurched as Gia shifted gears. It had been a long time since I drove a stick. I sure hoped she was better at it than I was.
"What the hell were you doing?" Gia asked.
I scoffed. That was not the question I expected her to ask me. "Excuse me? Did you think I was running for my life on purpose?"
She glanced over at me, and for the first time, I could see the fine lines around her mouth and eyes, signs that she had seen a lot in her life. She wasn't as young as she looked. "How am I supposed to know? Last I saw you, you were safely tucked away with the Sayges, then you're up
in Terra's lair. I know Brenon pissed you off, but you can't seriously think that running to Terra is the answer."
"How did you get me running to Terra out of all of this?" I asked. "Can't you see that I was running away?"
"Yes, now you are. But you showed up there with Tristan. Didn't look like he had to force you to go there. I've never seen him bring someone back to Terra without them covered in blood. I think he enjoys being unbalanced."
I blinked a few times, trying to process her words. Tristan had let me go. He'd helped me, even. He didn't have to do that. He could have passed me right off to Terra.
Gia stopped at a stop sign, then reached across me and pushed down the lock on the door. "You trying to get on Tristan's good side now? I mean, last we spoke, you didn't even seem to know what magic was, now you're working with Tristan. You playing Brenon?"
"No." How did I explain this to her? She obviously didn't like Tristan. Would she throw me from her car if she found out I was his daughter? Wait. "You just locked me in."
"No, I locked the door because we're about to get on the highway and that door is a little loose." She shrugged. "Now, quit dodging the questions. Just explain the Tristan thing."
I let out a long breath. "I found out last night that he's my biological father."
Gia accelerated, the car lurching every time she pushed it into gear. I strapped on my seatbelt as the door next to me rattled.
"Didn't see that one coming," Gia said. "Wow."
I looked down at my hands and started picking at the polish that remained from Goldie's makeover. A twinge of sadness pulled within. I wondered what Goldie was doing. What they were all doing.
"So, did he know he was your daddy?" she asked.
Raising my eyebrows, I turned to her. "Please don't ever say it like that again. And no. He didn't seem to know. He took me to Terra and asked her about it. I guess she knew and kept it from him. He was pissed."
"Oh, that is something we can use," Gia said. "I wonder how she'll keep him on a leash now that she's shown her cards."
"What is it between those two?" I asked.
"Not really sure. Best I can figure is that they had a fling centuries ago and that somehow, she was willing to give Tristan something he wanted. He's never been very predictable since I've been around."
"How long is that?" I asked. "That you've been around?"
She laughed. "Longer than I care to admit."
"Why are you here? How did you know?" Realization struck me. Gia had mentioned that she knew I was with the other Sayges, then she said she saw me arrive with Tristan. "Wait - are you spying on me?"
"Yes," she said matter-of-factly.
"Why?"
"My deal with Brenon wasn't just about healing you. That's way too simple a favor for what I owed. My payment is to keep you safe until Terra is either gone or done hunting you, whichever comes first."
"Brenon asked you to spy on me?" The idea was both incredibly violating and slightly comforting at the same time. He'd been worried about me. But he'd made that deal before we even did anything intimate. I pressed my lips together, recalling the last moments with the Circus. He'd been planning to use me against Terra somehow the whole time. It made sense that he'd have a backup plan in case I ran off from the Circus or if my year expired before he needed me.
She gently bumped my arm with her elbow. "Who do you think let him know when Terra got hold of you the first time?"
"Well, I don't like it, but I suppose I should thank you." It was difficult to determine my feelings. Without her following me, I'd have likely died in Terra's holding cell.
"You're welcome," she said.
"What could you possibly owe Brenon that would require you to pay him back this way? What if it was years before you had to stop following me around?"
"Years I have," Gia said. Her voice sounded distant, the confidence drained. "If not for Brenon, I wouldn't even be alive. I wasn't happy about oweing him, but I'm glad it's finally time to pay my debt. It's been hanging over me for far too long."
"What did he do for you?" I couldn't help it. The warmth and affection I had tried to bury were seeping to the surface. Thinking so much about Brenon was driving a sense of longing inside me. I didn't want to feel that way. I wanted to stay angry at him, stay as far away as possible from him, yet I hoped he wasn't as bad as Evangeline made him seem.
"I had to flee my home when I was young. It was long ago, when Tristan would go on random sprees with some of the other creatures that enjoy causing mayhem. My whole village was burning, and I ran. I ended up at the Circus. It was still early days then, the big tent and the lights drew me in. I could see it because I was Sayge, but I didn't belong. Brenon took me in. I traveled with the Circus for a few years while I got back on my feet. When I was old enough, I went out on my own. He asked me for a favor one day in return. It's the least I can do." Gia was quiet then, eyes focused straight ahead.
My lips twitched as I took in her words. The man who was responsible for half of my genetic make-up was the cause of Gia's despair. And Brenon was the hero in all this. He'd taken Gia in, and she seemed grateful. "Did they ever try to hurt you?"
"The Circus?" She shook her head. "Sayges are basically human, but we belong more in the realm of magic than humans. There was no risk of me breaking that curse. It would be impossible for a Sayge to do."
"So you lived with Brenon for a while?" The words came out before I thought them through. Heat rose to my cheeks, and I looked back down at the chipping polish.
"Not with Brenon, but with the Circus, yeah. For almost three years. Then I felt like I could handle things on my own."
The clicking of the blinker sounded, and I looked up at the exit we were taking. "Where are we going?"
"Well, considering Terra's after you, there's really only one place I can think of."
Chapter 10
"We're going back to the Circus, aren't we?" Flutters rose inside me, mixing with a lingering dread.
"It's the only place I can think of where you might be sort-of safe. Brenon already had people keeping an eye on your brother. Might as well make it easier for us to keep you safe."
All of my willpower dissolved as my heart melted into a puddle inside my chest. Brenon was looking out for me, and he'd taken care of my brother, even after I ran off. He couldn't be all bad, right?
She pulled off the freeway and slowed down as we turned on to a frontage road. "We'll be on the train soon."
I sat in silence for a while, watching the buildings and trees as we sped down the empty road. Once again, I was returning to the Circus. Only this time, I was more aware of what I was getting into. And this time, I knew I couldn't break the curse that they didn't want broken. Yet, I carried the knowledge that I could open the gate back to Faerie. The place that seemed so foreign only a few days ago. It was almost impossible to imagine that another realm used to be connected to where we live.
I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I considered the fact that I could call that realm home as much as I could call earth home. Being half-fae, I didn't really belong here, but I was half-sayge, which meant this was my home. What would it have been like if Tristan raised me? Would I have helped Terra years ago? Would I go around destroying towns?
I took a sharp breath in and held it. Gia had been sent from her home by my biological father. How must she be feeling saving me? "Gia?"
She turned to me for a split second. "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry about what happened to you. I mean, I don't even know Tristan, but I guess I have to accept the fact that he's my blood. I'm so sorry he did that."
"I know," she said. "Don't worry, being an asshole isn't genetic."
I smiled and leaned back against the seat. That was true. I'd met my share of terrible people who had family members who were kind. "What about my aunt? Are you in contact with her?"
"No, but we'll send a message to her after we catch up with the Circus. Relax, Ara. We'll figure it all out."
I wasn't sure ho
w we were going to figure any of this out. As far as I knew, Terra was determined to find me and have me help her, or kill me for denying her. The Sayges wanted to eliminate the Fae, and I had no idea what the members of the Circus actually wanted. Clenching my hands into fists, I decided that was the first thing I would ask when I saw them again. No more hiding things. I was part of this now and I needed to know the truth.
A few hours later, we passed a sign that said Welcome to Lamar. Gia pulled the car into an empty parking lot and stopped the car. "We're here."
Gia took off her seatbelt and opened her door. I followed, unlocking the door and stepping onto the asphalt. A red brick building with green trim stood in front of us. It wasn't late enough in the day for it to be this empty. "Where is everyone?"
She shrugged. "Probably sent the humans away for the afternoon."
"How?"
"Later, now we need to get you on that train before Terra's wolves pick up your scent." Gia tucked her keys into her jeans pocket and walked toward the building. I chased after her.
We walked around the building and the air along the track shimmered. A moment later, the Circus train appeared. I blinked a few times, confused. It was hiding somehow, and then it was visible. "What's going on?"
"They don't generally have the train out at stations that are in use during the day. They use magic to hide it. Come on." Gia headed toward the steps of one of the cars and climbed on like she owned the whole train.
My pulse raced as I stepped closer to the train and nervous butterflies filled my stomach. I wiped sweaty palms on my pants before I gripped the railing and climbed up.
As soon as we closed the door behind us, the train lurched, sending me tumbling. Strong arms caught me, breaking my fall. I looked behind me to see Brenon smiling down at me.
He wasn't wearing his makeup and his hair looked like he'd been sleeping on it all night. My heart pounded in my ears and I felt all the blood rush to my face.
Brenon guided me back to my feet and took his hands away from my body. The place where he had held me tingled, urging me to feel his touch again. Instead, I stood there, frozen in place, unable to take my eyes off of his.
