Teasing his fingers into the flames—her hair—he kissed her fully, wholly, savoring her tiny, breathy sounds of pleasure, the warmth of her body pressed against his and how well they fit together. As if, from cells to blood to bone, they were specifically made for each other.
Meant to be together.
And Ryan knew—God help him, he knew—that no other woman, past or present or yet to come, could elicit the intense hunger, this overriding need, he had for Andi. He wanted her in his bed, beneath him, her fiery hair in disarray, her body open and willing and yearning for his touch. He wanted her to be his. He wanted to be hers. Not just for today or tomorrow or the span of a year, but for the rest of his life. The rest of their lives.
It was an absolute, bone-deep type of certainty that he did not question or doubt. It just...existed. Solid. Sure. Pure. And more real than anything Ryan had ever before known.
He dropped his hands to the small of her back, pushed her tight to him and prodded her mouth open with his tongue. He had to taste more of her, right now, as much as he possibly could, as much as she would allow given their current location. She moaned again, instantly, in a long, languid...throaty manner that set his blood—hell, his very soul—on fire.
The taste of her—sweet as honey with a kick of spice just like Andi herself—saturated his senses and drove his hunger, the passion he felt, higher, and then higher and hell, higher yet. He wanted her, all of her—her brain, body, heart and soul—every inch of who she was, inside and out, in every way a man can want a woman.
“Ryan,” Andi whispered against his lips. “We...we need to stop.”
“Why?” he asked. “I never want to stop.”
“Me, either.” A gurgle of a sigh-drenched laugh surfaced. “And that’s exactly why we need to stop. Now. But I’m open to continuing this...let’s go with exploration...at a later date.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Of course.” Ryan imagined standing in his shower with the cold water on full blast, and...nope. Not enough. Not nearly enough to expunge the heat pummeling through him with such power. He pulled himself together the best he could and kissed Andi once more. “But you’re good, right?”
“Oh, I’m good.” She gave him a smile that could only be described as saucy. “So good, in fact, that I think if I have a problem sleeping tonight, it will not be due to a nightmare.”
Embarrassingly enough, it took a minute for the meaning of her statement to sink in, and when it did, the demanding ache in his groin increased tenfold.
“That was evil,” he said to the woman who was, in one second, an angel, and in the next, a temptress. “Putting the image of you, on your bed wide awake, thinking of us, into my head. You have no mercy, Andi. How do you expect me to sleep now?”
“I don’t.” Shifting off his lap, she stood and blew him a kiss. Also saucy. Also tempting beyond measure. “I mean, why should I be the only one suffering from...flu symptoms?”
“I suppose,” he said, standing, “you have made your point. Fair is fair, darlin’.”
She didn’t respond, just went about folding the blanket she’d brought, her movements quick and efficient. Effortless. As if she’d already forgotten the moment—the kiss that had nearly consumed them both—they’d just shared. He knew better, though. Because in her eyes, in the depths of her gaze, the heat of her desire, her need for him lingered.
And it was then that Ryan gave up the minuscule hold he had on his heart, cut the few remaining strings and took the leap. Felt the plunge. Yeah, this woman was meant for him, and he would cherish her, treasure every second of being with her that he was gifted.
Because, really, what else was he to do?
Chapter Nine
Had she ever been—even before last December—this foolishly, unabashedly happy? It was not a difficult question to answer: No, she had not. Oh, Andrea supposed she’d come close a few scattered times over the years, but in drips and drizzles...fits and spurts. Nothing like this rolling, continuous hum of excitement, pleasure and, yes, pure joy that now seemed the norm.
Her life hadn’t suddenly become easy or problem free, but in a way, the not-so-great truths—her still weakened leg, the return of her nightmare on three occasions over the past couple of weeks and the guilt over Hugh that stubbornly refused to completely fade—punctuated the good. She’d smiled and laughed more, saw the sun instead of the clouds, appreciated the beauty of the Rocky Mountains and had been kissed almost daily.
By Ryan.
Kisses she now craved, dreamed of and—a time or two—instigated of her own accord. Everything with Ryan just seemed so easy and natural, as if they’d known each other for their entire lives. They hadn’t, naturally, but the feeling remained. And as they spent more time together, she’d stopped being nervous and self-conscious about her attraction.
What was there to feel nervous about? They were both healthy adults.
Besides which, he seemed to appreciate her boldness. The truth was, this man seemed to appreciate almost every facet of who she was, how she was, in any given moment. Outside of her parents and siblings, she had never felt so comfortable just being herself with another person. It gave her an amazing sense of freedom to know that she didn’t have to pretend she was happy if something had her down. Or camouflage her mood in any way.
And while she hadn’t yet decided what had built the foundation of this connection with Ryan, she had mostly stopped worrying. One way or the other, in one form or another, the truth would become clear. Until that happened, she had decided to just relax and relish the now.
This afternoon, the now included a date with Ryan. He’d instructed her to wear something other than one of her sundresses, so she’d gone with a pair of black jeans and a layered pink tank. He’d refused to tell her why what she wore mattered other than he’d planned a surprise based on something she’d once shared.
And no amount of quizzing, teasing or begging during their drive had served to drag the secret from his lips. He could be, when he chose to be, rather obstinate. She’d tried to remember what she might have told him and when, but hadn’t locked on to anything.
So she let him keep his secret, his surprise, and reveled that he’d even had the thought, the wish and the want to do something sweet and unexpected. For her.
Stealing a glance in his direction, she drew her bottom lip into her mouth. How could blue denim and a plain, boring white T-shirt—untucked, at that—look so darn sexy? Didn’t seem fair. Or right. Though she shouldn’t be surprised. She’d yet to see a version of Ryan that didn’t jump-start her libido, which ignited a whole slew of her own wishes and wants.
Soon she might have to act on some of them.
“We’re almost there, Andi,” he said, tossing her that sexy-as-sin Prince Charming smile of his. “Another five minutes, give or take, and your curiosity will be satiated.”
“Satiated, huh?” she teased. “Promises, promises.”
“Oh, darlin’,” he said in the same teasing tone, “I always keep my promises. Without fail. I was specifically speaking of your surprise, but—” he angled his gaze away from the road for a split second to meet hers “—if you have another idea in mind, I’m more than willing to listen. Potentially make you another promise.”
Hmm. His tone, playful and fun, fit their bantering. But his eyes? They were a full shade darker than normal, closer to black than brown, and weren’t teasing in the least. They were intense. Serious. His jaw had firmed, and his arms—those sun-kissed, muscular arms that she loved being wrapped up in—had tensed as his hold on the steering wheel tightened.
As if he were talking about an entirely different subject than she.
Not that sex between them wouldn’t be intense. It would. Probably more so than she could even imagine, based on how their bodies responded whenever they kissed. Each time their lips met, her desire for this man g
rew by leaps and bounds. Huge leaps. Incredible bounds. And it was delightfully, powerfully obvious that Ryan’s hunger for her was on the same level.
Deciding she had read too much into his quick glance and the tensing of his muscles, she scooted a few inches closer, put her hand on his leg, and said, “If I come up with any other ideas, I will definitely keep you in the loop. Right now, though, I just want to know—oh. Oh!”
A sign came into focus just as Ryan flipped on the right-hand-turn signal. Rocky Mountain Trail Guest Ranch. A ranch. He’d brought her to a ranch?
“Before you say anything, let me explain.” Clearing his throat, Ryan turned into the long, windy driveway. “I wanted to rekindle the memory you told me about, when your father taught you to ride, and at the same time create a new one. A memory for us.”
“Ryan, this is...well, okay, amazing. And thoughtful.” So very thoughtful. Romantic, too. But... “Before I get too nervous, what are our plans?”
“They have dinner rides in the summer,” Ryan said as he continued driving. “We’ll each get a horse, ride for about two hours, stop for dinner and then ride back. The sun should be setting by then. We’ll have quite the stunning view, sweetheart. It should be breathtaking.”
Okay. Instinctively, Andi clenched and unclenched the muscles in her right leg. She was stronger—so much so—but a total of four hours on a horse? Was she that strong? “It’s been a while...as in, years, since I’ve gone horseback riding, Ryan. And wow, I love that you thought of this, planned this, and...and it’s such a romantic, fun idea. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m nervous.”
“I assumed you would be, but, honey, I’ll be with you the entire time. And I think,” Ryan said, parking the car, “despite your nerves, you’ll love this. You’re more than ready. Trust me?”
“Yes.” The affirmation flew from her lips without thought. It was true, though. She did trust Ryan. And, oh, she very much wanted to enjoy this experience with him. Excitement eased in, replacing her anxiety. “You’re right. This will be fun. And romantic. And...a memory not to be missed.”
“That’s my girl.” The words were said in a carefree, nonchalant way. As if they, too, had come unbidden, without prior consideration. His girl. His. She might like being Ryan’s girl for more than just the summer. Might. If the rest of her pesky questions could be answered. “Alrighty then,” he said, turning off the ignition. “Ready to do this?”
“Yes,” she repeated. And she was, as far as spending the rest of this day with Ryan, but to the other question...the one she’d asked herself, the answer remained maybe. “I can’t wait.”
Together they found their way to the correct stable and within twenty minutes were given horses—Andi’s, a lovely dapple gray mare named Star due to the white markings on her forehead, and Ryan’s, a sturdy yet gentle seal-brown-and-white paint horse, named, humorously enough, Chaos—and after being given a few instructions, they were set to go.
Well. First she had to actually get herself in Star’s saddle.
“Want help, babe?” Ryan asked.
“Think I got it, but thanks.” With her left foot in the stirrup, she lifted and swung her body up and over, and with zero issues, suddenly, she was seated. No pain. Not even a twinge of discomfort. Okay. Good. Smiling at Ryan, she said, “See? Easy peasy.”
“Yup, just as I expected.” He followed suit on Chaos and, once in the saddle, said, “Looks like we’re getting started. You remember the basics, right?”
Rather than a verbal response, Andi lightly squeezed the mare’s sides with both her legs and, recognizing the command, Star began to walk, falling in line with the other riders in front of Andi and Ryan. “Seems I remember the basics just fine,” she said. “I’m already loving this!”
“And that,” Ryan said, bringing Chaos to Star’s side and matching his horse’s gait with Andi’s, “is exactly as I hoped you would feel. I love making you happy. Seeing you smile and hearing you laugh.”
“You know, that goes both directions. I’d enjoy doing the same for you.” There was so much to adore, even admire, about this man. And those words? Well, they hit Andi in all the right ways. “But you’re so darn happy all the time, anyway. On your own accord, without any help whatsoever.” Then, mostly under her breath, she said, “It’s that standing-in-the-sunlight thing you have down.”
“Explain?”
Ah. He’d heard her. “You’re there for everyone. Calm and patient and supportive. Giving the best you can, whatever is needed, with that joy I talked about before. I haven’t ever seen you upset or sad or so much as frustrated. And it’s wonderful, Ryan, truly.”
“But...?”
“But okay,” she said, gently pressing her right leg against Star so the horse would turn left, in the same direction as the rest of the group, “this sunlight you walk around in? It’s as if you don’t need anyone or anything else in your life. As if your world is perfect, just as it is.”
Quiet, except for the sounds of the horses and the other riders, dipped into the air between them. And when she looked over to Ryan, her heart picked up an extra beat or two or ten because, darn it all, with his dark hair ruffled from the wind, the natural ease with which he rode Chaos, the strength and firmness of his body and the striking scenery tossed in for good measure...well, he could’ve morphed into a cowboy. The silent, sexy...dangerous type.
Damn it. Why did this man have to embody the full, complete picture of everything she’d ever wanted? Where were his faults? Surely, he had some. Everyone did. No one could be this perfect. Not even Mister Walks-in-Sunshine Ryan Bradshaw.
“Listen,” Ryan said, as if reading her thoughts. And, frankly, she still hadn’t decided that he lacked such a power. “And believe if you want, discard if that’s more comfortable. But you’re only around me when we’re actually physically together. Correct?”
“Um. Yes.” Where in heaven’s name was he going with this? “That’s sort of obvious.”
“Sure, but it needed to be said, in order to preface the rest.” He gave her that look, the one that melted her from the inside out. “This sunlight you insist is a perpetual part of my personality? Perhaps what you’re seeing,” he said slowly, “is simply a reflection of...you. Of how I am with you, Andrea. Of the light you bring into my life. Ever think of that?”
Oh. Just...oh.
Speechless by his declaration, the authenticity layered into the words themselves and the swirl of emotions both had ignited, Andi shook her head. No. She hadn’t considered such a possibility. Why would she? How would she? And how could this man view her as he did? Most of the time he’d known her, she’d been lost in a...a storm, she supposed. Only recently, and mainly due to Ryan, had the clouds cleared enough to let any amount of sun through.
Naturally, that brought her right back to square one. To the beginning. To how they’d met. To his initial role in her life, and what—if anything—that role had to do with their chemistry, with her growing attraction and...more than attraction. She might be, could very well be, falling in love. With Ryan. Or she only thought she was.
The gift of clarity had yet to make an appearance.
“I’d say you haven’t thought of that,” Ryan said, picking up their conversation where he’d left off. “So, how about you do that now, while we’re riding? We can continue this conversation later. Maybe over dinner or, if not then, on the ride back.”
“No need to.” Ouch. She hadn’t meant to sound so brisk. Cool. “What I mean to say is, of course I haven’t considered that I’m the...um...brightness I see in and around you. One, that would make me rather self-centered, and two...it’s you, Ryan. Who you are. How you are.”
“Easier to think that, isn’t it?”
Yes. Because otherwise she might believe that Ryan was falling in love. With her. And as wondrous and exciting and...miraculous as that would be an
d feel, until she better understood her heart, she couldn’t offer him anything in return. As of now, her plans hadn’t altered. In five-and-a-half weeks, she would return to Rhode Island. To her family, friends and, hopefully, her job.
To everything she’d lost and everyone she’d left behind, including herself.
Of course, if she determined that what she felt, what she saw, with Ryan was as real as the blue sky hovering above, then she would change those plans. Because then, everything she needed would not exist in Rhode Island. He, Ryan, would be here. In Steamboat Springs.
But she might not solve that particular dilemma within the next thirty-odd days. Or ever. It would be wrong, so wrong, to guess. Deceiving and potentially hurtful, too. And she would not, under any circumstances, cause pain to the best man she’d ever known.
Would likely ever know. So, yes, absolute certainty was required.
* * *
“Nice one, Dad.” Ryan watched the golf ball fly through the air and land on the green a few feet from the sixteenth hole. They were edging into the end of their monthly Saturday game and, as normal, the senior Bradshaw was winning. “Looks as if you’ll be buying the beers,” he said with a grin. “Just like normal.”
That was another part of their routine. They always stopped for a few beers after their game, the winner picking up the tab. His father’s rules. Jerry figured that way everyone walked away feeling good about something: either winning or free drinks.
“Kind of makes me wonder if you lose on purpose,” Jerry said, grinning right back. “Because son, I can’t remember the last time you had to fork over the beer money. And today, the spread is wider than our typical game. Having cash-flow problems?”
“Nope. Doing fine in the money department.” Ryan selected his club, a six-iron, and dropped the ball on the tee. Before stepping into position, he said, “And I’ve never lost on purpose, though I will admit my game is a bit off this afternoon. Long week.”
From Good Guy To Groom (The Colorado Fosters #6) Page 14
