The man was seriously terrified, but I wasn't sure if it was of us or someone else.
I pulled the other two aside. "This isn't getting us anywhere. And it'll be dark soon. Should we move on to find a place to set up camp?"
Hilly looked down the hill. "I think he's lying. I don't think anyone is after him."
Riley was quiet—which was unlike him. Apparently he was deferring the decision to me.
"If we stay, then we have the higher ground," I murmured. "If we go, we don't know when we'll find a clearing to camp in. And those trees are pretty dense."
"Why don't we move on to Camp Deer Path?" Riley suggested. "Or call it and go home?"
"Seriously, guys," Hilly said. "I don't think there's anyone coming after this guy."
"You seem pretty sure of that." Riley's eyebrows went up.
Hilly seemed to think about this for a moment. "Yes. Yes, I'm sure."
"We need a decision, and we need it now." I watched the girls as they started setting up the two tents—one for Riley and one for me and the girls, and now, presumably, Hilly.
"Do you know how much work it is to take those things down and pack them up so they fit back in the little bags?" I added with a shudder.
I could make a map fold up the way it was originally. A lot of people can't do that. But when it comes to putting something back in the bag it came in, like a sleeping bag or tent, I struggled. Fortunately, the girls could do that, but like everything else with elementary school kids, it took an insanely long time.
Riley glanced at his watch. "I think we have maybe three hours until sunset. We still might make the old Scout camp."
"We don't even know if whoever dumped him in the woods is still here," I said quietly.
"Look"—Hilly pointed at me—"we have three agents trained in combat here." She looked Riley up and down. "Well, some are better at it than others. I think we should just tie this guy up for the night and I'll take the first watch."
Chad got to his feet but maintained his distance. For a moment, I thought he was considering running away (which would've solved our problem), but he didn't.
"It seems like he'd get out of here if he really thought someone was still in the woods," I mumbled. "Okay. We stay. Hilly's got the first watch. But don't torture or kill him." My stomach rumbled, and I brightened. "Who's up for freeze dried Pizza Rolls and s'mores?"
CHAPTER SIX
Chad was so terrified of Hilly that we decided we didn't need to tie him up. We even offered him food. He sat by the fire, looking glum and pulling the hoodie Riley'd given him tightly around his body.
None of this made any sense. And at any moment, Maria could pop up, making things even worse. Or better. I still didn't know much about Maria and Hilly's relationship. It would be better not to tell the assassin about the rogue agent just yet.
"Argh!" I scratched my arm. "That's the fourth mosquito bite I've gotten in the last ten minutes," I complained as I rummaged through my backpack for bug repellent. "Is anyone else getting eaten alive?"
The girls nodded, but Riley and Hilly shook their heads. Riley was a little too smug about it if you asked me. I guess Gucci nailed it with that hairspray/bug spray combo. I thought about stealing some of it but the cologne smell would give me away.
"Here," Hilly offered me a black spray with nothing written on it. "I used this in Colombia a few weeks ago. Those jungles are rotten with bugs."
Riley's eyebrows went up. "No label? I wouldn't use that if I were you."
"Just because it doesn't have a designer label, doesn't mean it won't work," I grumped.
He shrugged. "It's your funeral."
I led the girls a safe distance away and sprayed them down before spraying myself. We rejoined the others and sat by the fire and waited. Twenty minutes went by and no bites! The girls gave me the thumbs-up which indicated they too were now mosquito-free. Yay!
The Pizza Rolls were a hit, and we made about two dozen s'mores after. Hilly worried that we were burning through our stash, but believe me, we had plenty of graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate. That was one thing I'd never skimp on. It was really the only true camping dessert. And I never went without dessert.
"Chad," I said as I wiped sticky, gooey marshmallow from my fingers. "I've changed my mind. We won't leave you out all night. You'll bunk with Riley."
Chad looked like he wanted to protest. Then we heard a coyote howl in the distance, and he quickly agreed.
Riley didn't look happy at all about the situation, but he knew I'd never let Chad sleep near the girls. It wasn't for their sake, but his, because Betty wouldn't shut up about this being the perfect opportunity to practice killing a man with one finger. Apparently, Hilly had no qualms about giving them instructions.
"Tell me about this camp," Hilly asked the girls.
"Well"—Ava spoke up—"it's in the middle of nowhere and super old…"
"Like prehistoric old," one of the Kaitlyns added.
"And it's haunted," Lauren said.
"It's haunted?" I looked at the little girl sideways. "I don't think so."
But then, I forgot about one of the time-honored traditions of camping—the ghost story. My troop had a reverence for ghost stories that was sacred and almost qualified as a sort of deeply held religious belief.
"Once upon a time," Lauren started. "When there were dinosaurs, a woman as old as Mrs. Wrath went to Camp Deer Path."
"I'm not really that old," I countered. "And dinosaurs died off before people even…"
I was cut off by Betty, who ignored me. "The camper's name was Princess Aurora Amelia Betty. And she was a badass."
Now I was intrigued. There was no point in spoiling a good story with facts. I put my elbows on my knees, my chin in my hands, and waited expectantly.
"And her best friend," Lauren said, "Amoeba, was very pretty and had a pony named Cookie."
And there it was. We couldn't get by without a Cookie reference.
"Amoeba and Aurora Betty"—Betty picked up the thread—"played truth or dare one night with the other girls from their cabin."
"Who were the other girls?" Inez's eyes glittered in the fire's glow.
Betty shrugged. "Other princesses I guess. This was where all princesses around the world came to camp, make s'mores, and ride dinosaurs."
Riley's lips twitched with amusement, but he didn't smile. He knew how serious the girls were about their story-telling.
Hilly paid rapt attention. "And then what happened?" she asked eagerly.
"Someone gave Aurora Betty the Badass the ultimate dare," Betty said dramatically, now aiming a flashlight up from under her chin. "She had to go to the Boy Scout camp next door and kill one."
"Nope." I shook my head.
Betty grumbled. "Oh alright. She had to go and catch one and drag him back so the other girls could make fun of him."
"Better." I nodded encouragingly.
"What Aurora Betty didn't know," Lauren said, "was that there were vampire ticks flooding the forest."
"For an insurance convention." Ava nodded.
This surprised no one.
"Vampire ticks?" Chad snorted.
"Vampire ticks?" Hilly grabbed my arm and clutched it tightly.
It was as if these two had swapped bodies. Hilly collected beetles. She should know there weren't any such thing as vampire ticks. Right?
"Zip it, Chad," I said before turning to the girls. "Please, continue."
"Amoeba had been following Aurora Betty," Lauren said. "And it was a good thing too, because Aurora Betty stumbled and fell. When she got to her feet, she was surrounded by vampire ticks!"
Betty gave her a look. Was she annoyed that Lauren had said Badass Betty was in trouble?
Lauren didn't seem to notice. "As the ticks advanced, Amoeba did a super flip over the ticks and landed next to her friend."
Betty seemed a bit annoyed. "But Aurora Betty didn't need any help because she was armed with a flamethrower!" She pulled Riley's spray can out
and, after lighting a match, sprayed a ball of fire.
I confiscated the hairspray, handing it back to Riley. He really should've known better and secured it.
"Vampire ticks are very venomous." Lauren seemed not to notice that her bestie was annoyed.
"They are?" Hilly's eyes bulged as her fingers dug into my arm.
Lauren nodded. "I'm a junior zookeeper, so I know all about them."
Not bad for an insect I made up. Now vampire ticks were junior zookeeper certified.
"Their venom is super poisonous. One bite and all your arms and legs fall off! And after she torched the bugs, Princess Aurora Betty didn't realize that she missed one on her shoe…"
Betty's eyes narrowed. "So, she kicked it off and stomped on it."
This adversarial story-telling was pretty interesting. I wanted to see where this went.
"But it didn't die," Lauren said. "Amoeba saw that, so she threw herself on the tick to save her best friend's life."
Betty softened. She didn't exactly smile. Well, she never smiled. Betty was always serious and always on a mission. But she seemed to like that her imaginary badass was saved by Lauren's imaginary friend, Amoeba.
Betty continued on. "As Amoeba lie dying, with her arms and legs falling off, Aurora Betty destroyed the tick. Then she went on her mission and killed the Boy Scout."
"Captured the Boy Scout," I corrected.
"I don't know why she couldn't kill him," Betty protested.
"Ahem," Ava interrupted. "Please finish the story."
"Oh yeah"—Lauren brightened—"Amoeba died and became an awesome ghost. Every summer since, she can be seen, armless and legless, floating around these very woods, warning people about vampire ticks."
"What happened to Aurora Betty?" one of the Kaitlyns asked.
Betty began cleaning her teeth with her Scout knife. "She invaded Europe and banished all the world's vampire ticks to Italy for killing her best friend."
Lauren smiled. "Thanks!"
Betty wasn't quite finished. "And then she became an adventurer, discovered the fountain of youth, and invented pencils. The end."
Hilly jumped to her feet and applauded vigorously while shouting, "Bravo!"
Chad snorted derisively, and was suddenly thrown backward through the air until his back hit a tree and he threw up. Hilly was very fast with her hands. I admired that.
"Well"—I clapped my hands—"it's time for bed."
Six little girls vibrated on a s'more's rush, but agreed to give it a shot. I thought that was admirable and told them so. As they walked off, one of the girls asked why Amoeba's arms and legs weren't ghosts too.
"Oh, they are," Lauren said. "Sometimes you get lucky and can be haunted by all five parts of her body."
The tent flap closed, and I heard the conversation continue as the Kaitlyns debated whether being haunted by just an arm or leg was awesome or lame.
Hilly went over to Chad, who was still sitting on the ground, and shook her finger in his face. "Never disrespect those girls again, or I'll collect every vampire tick in these woods and drop them in your pants." And with that, she stalked away to set up a lookout point.
"Come on Chad," Riley said wearily. "Time for you to sleep too. And if you even think of getting up in the night, I'll tie you to this tree."
Chad, who fortunately didn't vomit on himself, agreed before getting to his feet and walking into the other tent.
Riley slid next to me. "No Maria."
"Not a sign of her," I said. "Why isn't she here?"
"Maybe the heat got too close," Riley said.
"He's in IT, he said," I mused. "There has to be a reason why someone thought he knew about Maria."
"And then there's Hilly," he said. "I still think it's weird that she hiked all the way here just to hang."
I shrugged. "Or that's exactly what she did. This isn't a woman who makes logical decisions. By the way, why aren't you tying Chad up?"
"Because if he runs away in the middle of the night, he's no longer our problem."
I thought about protesting, but Riley was right. We didn't even know if Chad was lying about this whole thing. If he snuck off before we got up and we never saw him again, we could continue on without a second thought.
"Oh hey!" Hilly's voice came from several feet away before she emerged from the shadows, wearing Dora the Explorer footie pajamas. "I meant to tell you! Look what I've got!"
"I love them!" I gushed a little jealously. Dora was a particular favorite of mine because I saw her as a field agent with Boots the monkey as her handler.
She tossed me a bag, and I pulled out a set for me. "I got you some too! We can be twins!"
"That's great!" I got to my feet and held them against myself. "But Hilly, where did you get these from?"
She rolled her eyes. "My backpack at the bottom of the hill. Duh!" And with that she strode back into the shadows, where I heard a clip slide into a rifle.
"That's so…" Riley's words failed him.
"Awesome, right?" I danced in the firelight, holding the jammies in front of me. "You're just jealous."
"Right. I'm jealous of you and Hilly being twins in cartoon pj's." He shook his head.
I ignored my former handler and took my prize into the tent. For a man who was so into fashion, he sure didn't seem to know anything about women.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The next morning, we filed out of the tent to see Hilly sitting in front of the dead fire pit.
If the girls were tickled to see the assassin (who's not an assassin) and me dressed in matching footie jammies, they were over the moon to see Hilly also shouldering a sniper rifle.
"Why didn't you wake me up for second watch?" I asked.
Hilly shrugged. "I was up anyway."
Was that the truth or had she been waiting for Maria to turn up? While it was nice to have the extra sleep, I was worried that maybe she'd found Maria and taken care of her while we slept. Of course, I couldn't say any of this because what if Hilly didn't know I was supposed to be meeting Maria here?
"Can I try it?" Lauren gasped reverently as she pointed to the rifle.
"Sure!" Hilly started to hand it over, but Betty got it first.
Before I could get it from her, the little girl field stripped the whole thing. The rifle lay in pieces, neatly organized on the ground. Where had she learned that? I hadn't taught her. I'd wanted to, multiple times, but Kelly always shot me down. She was probably right in thinking they were too young. But they'd be of age soon, and the moment they turned twelve, I was going to put it to a vote so Kelly would be voted down. Of course if Kelly suspected, she'd kill me. But I think it is all part of being prepared for things like if Canada attacked or in case of the zombie apocalypse.
"Betty!" I sighed.
"What?" She narrowed her gaze at me. "I've been practicing with a fake one I made on the school's 3-D printer."
"She almost got expelled." One of the Kaitlyns nodded.
"It was so pretty," the other Kaitlyn gushed. "She made it pink with glitter and named it the Princessinator!"
Betty began putting it back together. "What's the problem? It's not like I was gonna shoot it."
I wagged my finger at her. "Make sure you put it back exactly like it was. Those things are expensive."
There was a twinge as I realized that Kelly might not like me saying that.
"And make sure you clean it," I added. "Always leave something better than when you found it!"
There. I felt better. I'd turned it into a learning experience.
"There's no gun oil out here," the kid complained. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"Don't worry about it." Hilly waved her off. "Just put it back together, and I'll take care of it."
Once Betty had more or less put it back the way it was, I said to Hilly, "Um"—I pointed to the weapon—"maybe you should stash that…" I gave a slight head nod in the direction of the girls, who were all demanding a turn.
"Oh. Sure. I need to change an
yway. Be right back." Hilly disappeared down the hill to wherever her mysterious backpack was.
A very rumpled Chad staggered out of the tent, shielding his eyes from the sun. Well, he was still alive. Riley emerged a moment later, fully dressed and shaved, ready to go.
We ate Pop-Tarts for breakfast because they're yummy and portable and I think I read once that they are nutritious. Still no mosquito bites! I needed to get the recipe for whatever was in that tube before the trip was over. I noticed with some satisfaction that Riley had been bitten twice. So much for designer bug spray.
We packed up camp. Chad didn't help. He asked about coffee (which we didn't have) and devoured four toaster pastries but did not help us. The bastard.
Why hadn't he left yet? It was morning, and he should make the edge of the woods by the end of the day. Then again, Chad didn't seem to have the ability to find his way down to the bottom of the hill, let alone back to civilization.
Riley asked him a couple of more questions about his alleged kidnapping, but Chad offered up few details. He still insisted he knew nothing about whatever woman they'd asked him about. He wouldn't even give us her name.
Seems like either a lie or a rookie move. How do you interrogate someone about what they know about someone else if you don't give a name? Chad could be lying, but I suppose he could be telling the truth. Training wasn't what it used to be. One federal agency I won't name does the whole thing as an online course now. Sad. How can you escape a pair of handcuffs or do the levitating poisoned meat cleaver trick with any kind of accuracy at all without in-person instruction?
Hilly returned, and the girls sang camp songs as they worked. I was impressed not only because she knew them but because she updated some of the songs, like "Hermie the Worm," which was a fable about a worm who ate too much and belched back to his original size. In Hilly's version, Hermie was an informant who ended up on a fishhook in barracuda-infested waters.
Turns out, she was a natural at striking camp and even got the tents back into their bags on the first try. I tried not to resent her for that.
"Alright." I clapped to get everyone's attention now that we were done. "We're heading toward the old camp. Is everyone ready?"
Mosquito Bite Murder Page 4
