by Kova, Elise
His hands freed themselves of hers and Eira almost grasped them back frantically. His fingertips ran along her cheeks until his palms cupped them. Slowly, Ferro turned her face upward, to face him.
“I don’t think I could ever hate you,” he whispered. “You are a bright spot in a dark world. When I told you that before, I meant it. I won’t allow anything to change it.”
“I was abandoned with Adela’s mark pinned to my blanket.”
His eyes widened, just for a second, and by only a small margin. “So your family thinks your birth mother was Adela?”
Eira nodded. “Which I know is ridiculous, because Adela hasn’t been seen in decades.”
“It might not be that ridiculous,” he murmured. Surprisingly, she hated that he was taking her seriously. She wanted him to write it off.
“No, it is.” Eira forced a laugh, trying to cut through his intense stare. “Because she would’ve had to have given birth to me when she was…sixty? Sixty-five? I know our minds limit us before our bodies. But that would be a fairly incredible birth.”
“For a human, yes.”
“For…a human?”
Ferro stood. The warmth of his hands left her face and Eira let the chill prickle her senses back to being alert as she watched him cross to the hearth. His silhouette cast a long and imposing shadow.
When he was silent for what felt like forever, Eira was drawn to her feet. She was trying to keep her question in, but it was tugging at her, pulling her upright, demanding to be asked.
“Is Adela not human?”
“No,” he answered, finally. “Not entirely, at least. I don’t know what her parentage is. But, from what I’ve heard out of the Court of Shadows in Meru, she is half human and half elfin.” Ferro turned to face her, as if to watch how this revelation settled on her. Eira’s face had gone numb with shock, so he knew before she did. “Which could explain why your magic is so unique and powerful.”
Eira shook her head violently. “No, no. It’s not possible.”
“It’s not, or you don’t want it to be?”
She shook her head again, not knowing what she was answering. Eira balled her hands into fists, fighting against the chill sweeping through her. Her magic was out of control these days. She had to get it under control. She had to find something in those journals that would help her.
Adela’s journals.
Eira moved. She was somewhere between striding and running toward the door. A blur of movement solidified into Ferro in front of her. Eira raised her hands, bracing herself to run into him. His fingers laced with hers and he held her in place.
“Eira—”
“No.”
“Eira, listen…” He pulled her a step closer.
“No, I don’t want to.” She shook her head.
“This could explain everything for you—your fascination with Meru, your magic, how you long to be a part of a different world, because that world is in your blood.” He released one hand and wrapped it around the back of her neck.
Eira’s eyes shot open and she allowed the world to slowly come into focus—a world that began and ended with him. “But my family…”
“They will always be your family,” he said softly. “You know that, right?”
She nodded weakly. She thought she did.
Thought.
Just like Marcus had thought—past tense—she was his sister.
Eira shook her head. His other hand unlaced with hers and Ferro’s palm was back on her cheek. Eira couldn’t stop herself from leaning into it. He caressed her like she’d only allowed herself to dream of. He touched her like a lover would and it was the first thing to feel good in what seemed like forever.
“If you don’t want to find out the truth, then you don’t have to,” he whispered softly. “But if you do… Perhaps Yargen sent me to help you do this. Perhaps this is what I see in you—I see the blood of my people and a child of Meru.”
Eira met his brilliant eyes. Her eyes had been called “unnatural” and “creepy” by the school children when she was young. Her bright shade of blue, a hue so vibrant that it was more like his, like Deneya’s, than anyone she’d ever met in Solaris. Perhaps that’s part of what had called to and fascinated her in Taavin when she’d first laid eyes on him.
The elfin was what she had been missing and searching for all along.
“I don’t know if I can search for that truth,” Eira admitted.
“I know exactly how hard it is.”
“You—”
“I was abandoned, too.” He silenced her with the confession.
“You what?”
“I’m an orphan. I became an ambassador to try and get close to the Court of Shadows to find out who my parents were. If anyone can find out, it’s them.”
“Ferro, I didn’t know…”
“But this isn’t about me,” he added hastily. “What do you want?” he whispered. As his breath warmed her face, Eira realized how close they were. She barely resisted wrapping her arms around his waist.
“I don’t know yet,” she murmured. “Beyond knowing that I don’t want to stop seeing you.”
“That feeling, dear one, is quite mutual.”
She wanted to kiss him. Mother above. She wanted to kiss him. And she had kissed recently, so this was more than a lusty longing for something she hadn’t experienced in some time.
She wanted to kiss him because he suddenly made sense. They suddenly made sense. He was the only thing that did in the world.
He’d become her light in the darkness.
“I can’t talk about this any more tonight. Give me an escape, for a little while?” she begged softly.
“What sort of escape would you like?”
“Whatever you will give me.”
His eyes dropped to her lips. Ferro licked his and, for a glorious breath, he seemed to lean closer. But he slowly eased away. Was there any way she’d imagined the tension between them? Had she been wrong?
Perhaps he had the sense she lacked to know this wasn’t the right moment to pursue something possibly scandalous between them.
“Come. Tonight we’ll talk about anything but pirate queens and families.” Fingers laced with hers, Ferro led her to the chairs. This time, Eira sat next to him. “I will tell you anything you want of Meru. And, then, if you’re up to it and it would be a pleasant distraction, you can tell me more about the hiking trails in the mountains with Alyss. Or anything else that pleases you.”
“Thank you.”
“It is my supreme pleasure.” A smile spread on his handsome face. “So, what would you like to know?”
“You mentioned a Court of Shadows earlier… I’ve never read about such a thing.”
“You likely wouldn’t. It is their job to know, and to make themselves mostly unknown. The Court of Shadows is the dark hand of the Queen of Meru. They are Queen Lumera’s spies and whisperers…”
Ferro lived up to his word. For the rest of the night, she thought of nothing but Risen and its ancient underground, filled with secret passages of forgotten cities that propped up modern buildings, where spymasters lurked around every corner.
18
“You actually came.” Deneya was waiting in the dark hall the next night, just as she said she would be. She leaned against the wall between the cracked and grimy windows, beams of moonlight framing her.
“I did.” Eira folded her arms, staying right by the entrance of the passage. She wanted a quick escape if this conversation turned sour. “You sound surprised.”
“I flipped a coin to guess if you would. The coin said no. Apparently my coin is a liar.”
“Like me.”
Deneya hummed. “Are you a liar? Or were you lying? They’re different, you know.”
“I suppose the latter.”
“I do as well.” Deneya smiled.
“Did Ferro send you to meet with me?”
“No.” A look of confusion crossed her face. “Why would he?”
Eira hadn�
�t thought that Ferro had sent Deneya. Their meeting the other night seemed to be solely of Deneya’s design. There was no way Ferro would ever let someone hold a blade to her throat.
Deneya also didn’t seem to know that she and Ferro were meeting—if she had, she certainly would’ve said something—and that surprised Eira. Ferro had said that he didn’t tell his guard much…but Eira had assumed that she, at least, kept tabs on his whereabouts.
It made Eira appreciate her interactions with the man all the more as they now seemed twice as special. There was something to their meetings being secret that made them even more thrilling. And made the possible implications behind them set her heart to racing. Maybe he wanted to keep things private for other reasons? Eira didn’t let herself linger on the thought for very long.
“You’re his guard. I assumed that everything you do is at his order.” Eira worked to sound casual.
Deneya laughed roughly. More of a bark, really, than a laugh. “No. If anyone is keeping tabs here, it’s me keeping tabs on him.”
“To protect him?”
“Sure, you could think of it that way.”
The conversation was putting Eira slightly on edge. She was beginning to regret her decision to come. Eira couldn’t shake the notion that there was some kind of game or competition being played between the two elfin. A protective edge overtook her at the thought of Deneya doing something sinister to Ferro.
“I have a question for you.”
“I’m not surprised; you’re full of them.”
“Answer my question, and I’ll answer yours—what I meant when I said I didn’t know if I was Adela’s or not.” If Eira’s suspicions were correct, Deneya might know anyway.
“All right, fine.”
“Are you a member of the Court of Shadows?”
Deneya stilled. A sly smile curved across her face. She quirked one eyebrow up and tilted her head slightly as she asked, “What do you know about the Court of Shadows?”
“I know that it is Queen Lumeria’s organization of whisperers and spies.” Eira didn’t dare say too much. She didn’t want to betray Ferro’s trust in her. Especially if he hadn’t told Deneya about their meetings. “But, understandably, there’s not much else on them.”
“If you know that much, then you would, understandably, also know I certainly wouldn’t tell you if I were a member of this organization.”
“I think you are,” Eira said boldly.
“All right. Why do you think that?” Deneya folded her hands behind her back, still wearing the amused grin.
“Because you seem to lurk in the shadows. You’re quiet around groups, but have a lot to say in private. You’ve found these hidden passages. And…because you know about Adela.” Ferro had said that it was the Court of Shadows who kept a tabs on Adela. “Were you sent here to hunt me?”
“I suspect the answer to that question lies in what you mean when you say you ‘don’t know’ if you’re one of Adela’s.”
“My parents suspect she was my birth mother.”
“Oh?” Deneya seemed slightly eager at that. Enough that the note of unexpected delight grated on Eira. There was nothing about her circumstances that was worthy of amusement. She pushed down the sentiment, however. She needed a level head right now. “That would certainly explain some things if it were true.”
“Do you think it’s true?”
“Adela is as much myth as she is flesh. It’s hard to say what’s true when it comes to her. How old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
Deneya hummed in thought. “You were born a few years after I saw her last, then.”
“You…you saw her?”
Deneya laughed at Eira’s surprise. “I rode on the Stormfrost itself.”
“The Stormfrost?”
“Adela’s ship. Be grateful you’ve never seen it. You’d know it if you did.”
Eira detached herself from reality for a moment. She scoured her memories, searching for some recollection of a magical ship. She could almost imagine it…but was that ghostly imagery floating in the shroud of time real? Or just her mind trying to fabricate something that would fit into this grand unknown of the history that was a part of her?
“Are you going to kill me now?” Eira asked as she brought herself back to the present.
“Kill you? Why would I do that?” Deneya approached slowly.
“Because I might be Adela’s child.”
“And thank goodness that neither Solaris or Meru punishes children for the crimes of their parents if that is the case. I apologize for threatening you out the gate. It has nothing to do with your potential parentage; I merely thought you might have been one of her crew. And Adela’s crew tends to be a fight first, ask questions later sort of bunch.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, that’s apparent. Your magic resembles hers, hence my initial suspicion; but I now believe it’s because you’ve been reading her journals.”
Relief washed over Eira, followed quickly by dread. The notion of her not being Adela’s offspring allowed her to take a breath with a chest less tight than it had been in days. But there was a sickening sense of dread and fear that followed the relief.
If Adela wasn’t her birth mother, and neither was Reona, then a whole component of her history was a dark void that suddenly wanted to swallow her whole. It also meant that her magic, every strange and wonderful aspect of it, was of unknown origin, too. And…it meant that she likely wasn’t part elfin. There was no real connection between her and Meru, after all. Which meant she and Ferro didn’t have some kind of fated link between them.
“You don’t look happy.” Deneya came to a stop before Eira, inspecting her. “Most would be pleased not to be the offspring of the Pirate Queen.”
“I would be happiest to have all the pieces of who I am.”
“Did you know who you were before all this?”
“I thought I did,” Eira murmured. She didn’t know how the conversation got to this point. She certainly hadn’t expected opening up to Deneya.
Four people—excluding her family—now knew of Eira’s potential parentage. Her parents’ disembodied disappointment took up residence in her, scolding her for sharing it with so many so quickly. But Eira fought the notion. It was her secret to tell. At least telling it with the people she wanted, for whatever reason she wanted, gave her some control over it.
“If you knew who you were before, then you still know who you are now.”
“But… This… I look in the mirror and I don’t see my face anymore. I don’t know whose face I see. There’s this hole in me that I can’t describe. Like a piece is missing in the picture of who I am.”
Deneya sighed softly. A gentle smile crossed her lips. The woman went from warrior to sagely aunt in the span of a moment. “Listen, Eira, if there was never a hole to begin with, there’s not one now. It may be hard to see that. But eventually you will. Everything you need to be your complete self is already in your possession.”
“What do you know about being abandoned?”
“Most of the Court of Shadows are orphans. Most never found a loving family to raise and cherish them as you did.”
Eira ignored the guilt that the remark seeded in her. Instead, saying, “Then it’s true, you’re part of the Court of Shadows?”
Deneya smirked. “That perked you up.”
“You still haven’t said yes or no.”
“How about this…” Deneya made a show of thinking, but Eira suspected she was a woman who made up her mind long before she even opened her mouth. “I will tell you, if you can break my shield.”
“Break your shield?”
Deneya held up her palm and uttered, “Mysst xieh.”
That’s how those words are supposed to sound, Eira thought. They were pure elegance on Deneya’s tongue. They were made for her as much as ice and water were made to be Eira’s playthings.
A dot of golden light appeared in Deneya’s palm that spun outward into the shape of a disk
. Unlike the dagger, the glyph didn’t harden into anything solid. It remained a faintly glowing light, slowly spinning through the air.
“Lightspinning,” Eira whispered in awe.
“You knew these words. Now break them.”
“But—”
“However you see fit. Break my shield.” Deneya grinned.
Eira tentatively reached out a hand. Deneya didn’t move. Her fingertips lightly brushed against the surface of the glyph. It felt smooth, almost glass-like underneath her palm. Eira’s fingers splayed against the light, inches from Deneya’s, against the barrier.
“Why?”
“You want to know about the Court of Shadows, don’t you? Break it.”
Eira pulled back her hand and balled it into a fist. A thick coating of ice covered her hand, nearly up to her elbow. She punched forward and the impact shot through her arm, condensing every joint, up into her shoulder, her neck, and straight into her teeth. Punching one of the stone walls of the palace would be softer.
She stepped back, rubbing and rotating her shoulder. “Mother above,” Eira murmured. “That’s…solid.”
“Yes, it is.” Deneya chuckled. “Now that we know punching it isn’t going to work, let’s try for something with a bit more…finesse, shall we?”
Eira stepped back and closed her hand around a dagger of ice that formed from her palm. She struck it across the surface in a slashing movement. The strands of light seemed to writhe around the shallow cut. But they quickly wove themselves back together.
“You can do better than that,” Deneya both challenged and encouraged.
She twisted the dagger in her hand and it grew into a short sword. Eira charged again.
Attack after attack, the shield stayed in place. Eira lobbed everything she could think of at the disk—from spears of ice to jets of water. But as dawn bled across the horizon, she was still no closer to destroying it.
Deneya lowered her hands and the glyph unraveled. Cursed thing. It had been the bane of Eira’s existence all evening, impervious to every attack, and then just faded away as though it had never existed at all.
“You should go back to your bed. Don’t want them to find you here.”
