Beautifully Destroyed

by Love, Sandra

  We sat in silence. Then that was when his lips slammed into mine. I let out a little moan. He pulled me onto his lap, and I put my hands in his hair. When I did, he moaned into my month. He ran his hands down my back. Then something told me this was wrong. I pulled back and looked at him. “I hope you don’t think I am going to fuck you.”

  He got a puzzled look on his face. “No, no, I just wanted to kiss you. Those lips have been calling my name for a week now.”

  “Okay good, because I am not that type of girl.”

  I got off his lap and sat on the other end of the couch. “Jeb, I am not the type of girl you would want to get involved with.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Listen, you already know I was homeless. My parents kicked me out when I was seventeen. I am a no body.”

  He took my hand. “Let me get to know you.”

  “What if you hate what you find out? I am damaged, a destroyed soul.”

  He held his head down. “Toria, there is something about you. I can’t put my finger on it just yet, but I will. You may say that you are damaged or even destroyed, but damn girl, you are beautiful. You are beautifully destroyed.”

  I blushed. “I have demons, stuff I can’t tell you right now. But promise me you won’t give up on me. And don’t push me. I have a problem, and it’s a problem that could kill me. But I’m not ready to move on from it right now. Just don’t push me, please. I will deal with it in my own time. Promise me.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jeb

  Hearing Toria talk about her past and the ‘problem’ she had told me that what Sean said was true, at least a little bit. The problem she mentioned was likely that she was addicted to drugs of some kind. I wanted to know more, but I didn’t want to push her. It was the one thing she asked of me, and I was determined to give her that for the time being. I wanted to save her from herself, but I knew it wasn’t the right time. Forcing her into getting help would do nothing more than push her away, and I couldn’t fathom losing her now that I had finally found her. How can I save her from her own addiction when she doesn’t even want to save herself? I thought as she looked in my eyes, expectantly. I couldn’t just sit back and watch her kill herself when I was absolutely falling in love with her. It was crazy, because we had just met, but it was impossible to deny my heart’s desire. I couldn’t lose her. But if I pushed her too hard, I could lose her, and if I didn’t I could also lose her. It was a lose-lose situation. What was I going to do?

  “Toria.” I placed my hand on her cheek, and she placed her hand on top of mine. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

  “I’m poison. I will destroy you.”

  “I guess I will just have to take that chance.”

  Tears poured from her eyes. “One day I will get that help, but please understand it will be on my time.”

  I pulled her back onto my lap and I looked into her eyes. Wiping the tears from her eyes, the look in her eyes made my heart swell. If I didn’t leave soon, I would want to make love to her. To be honest, I already did want to make love to her. But I knew she was not ready for that.

  She curled up in my lap, and before I knew it, Vanessa was walking in the door. We must have fallen asleep. I looked around, but Toria was nowhere to be found.

  “Where’s Toria, Jeb?”

  “She was just here.” I got up and searched the house, but I couldn’t find her. I started to panic. Where was she?

  “She’s not here. Jeb, what if she is going to buy more pills?”

  “So you know what she is on? Is she smoking crack or doing coke? My friend told me she was into that. Tell me, Vanessa.”

  She put her hands up. “Down, boy. No, she is not using crack or cocaine. She is addicted to prescription pills. I think Adderall and Oxy. But she told me she hadn’t taken any in a while.”

  “I think she is lying to you. We need to find her.”

  She put her hand on my arm. “We will find her. Now, come on. We will go ask Mitch where she would go.”

  I got into her car and she drove to this Mitch person’s house. Who was he? “Who is Mitch?”

  “Oh. When she was living on the streets, he was like a father to her. He would get the drugs for her.”

  “Do you think it’s wise to take me to the guy who was supplying the drugs to her?”

  She sighed. “He’s been clean for a week now. He is going through really bad withdrawals. He is my brother’s lover, and he has been taking care of him. Please don’t rip into him.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know any of that. I will be on my best behavior.”

  We drove the rest of the way in silence. My heart was beating so fast, and all I wanted to know was where Toria was. I was really starting to worry about her, and I wished that Vanessa would drive faster. We finally got to a trailer that looked really rundown. Once she parked, I jumped out and ran up to the door.

  “Slow down!” Vanessa yelled after me. “Hold on; I have a key.” I watched as she unlocked the door, anxiously hopping from foot to foot. “Tony, Mitch!” she yelled out. “Vanessa, what’s wrong? And who is this?”

  “No time to explain. But this is my boss, Jeb, and Toria is missing. Jeb, this is my brother.”

  Before I could respond, a black guy walked out to the living room. He looked rough. He was holding onto his stomach, and he looked as if he was going to hurl. “What do you mean Toria is missing?”

  This must be Mitch. “She left. God, where the fuck could she had gone?”

  “Dude, you need to take it down a notch,” Vanessa’s brother said. “We all love her, and we will find her. Mitch, where do you think she would go?”

  He coughed, and I watched Tony help him to the couch. “She could be anywhere. She has a serious problem and she needs help. But she is so stubborn, and she won’t listen to me.”

  “May I?” I pointed to the couch.

  “Please, have a seat. Do you want a water? Coffee? Tea?”

  “I might need a shot of something.”

  Tony started to walk to the kitchen and came back with a water. “Sorry, we don’t keep that kind of stuff in the house.”

  Vanessa spoke up. “Mitch, does she have a dealer she goes to?”

  “I was the one that usually went. I didn’t want them to violate her. You do know she would never degrade herself, right?”

  I ran my hands through my hair. “This is my fault. I think I pushed her.”

  Vanessa cut me off. “This is that bitch’s fault. Your girlfriend.”

  “She is not my girlfriend anymore.”

  I huffed and explained to Mitch and Tony what happened with Barb. I also told them what Sean had said, and by the look on Mitch’s face, some of what was told to me was not true. I got up and paced the living room.

  My cell rang and I pulled it out. It was my father.

  “Son, what in the world is going on?”

  “What do you mean, Father?”

  “Well, the deal is off. I can’t believe you would fuck up my deal. All you had to do was marry her, and when he signed the paperwork, then you could’ve left her.”

  “Listen, I am busy right now.”

  He cut me off. “Is this about that whore? The homeless one? I told you she was trouble and now look what she has done to you and this family. I am pulling my ownership from that hotel. If this girl is more important to you than this family, then you won’t be a part of it.”

  “Fine! Do whatever. I am done.” I hung up the phone and stood there. I’d lost so much in one day. But the most important thing I lost that day was Toria. I needed to find her, and the sooner the better. If anything happened to her, I would never forgive myself.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Toria

  I couldn’t stay there any longer. I was destroying everyone’s life. I decided I would leave when he fell asleep. I went and found a bag from Vanessa’s room, and packed the toiletries I needed with the clothes she got for me. I took the rest of the pills and money I had and called a cab.
When I got in the cab, I told the driver to take me to that abandoned building on East Street. Once I was there, that old creepy dude let me in. He told me I could stay there overnight. I went into a corner and curled up into a ball and waited for the darkness to take me.

  I woke up to someone kicking me in the leg. “Wake up; you need to leave soon.” I looked up to see the toothless man. “If you want to stay another night, you need to pay or…” He winked at me. “…you know.”

  Eww, I thought to myself.

  “Can I buy a couple more pills from you? I am almost out,” I said with a smile.

  “Yep, but you are going to have to buy a new kind of pill, though. I am out of your regulars.”

  I started to panic. I really needed that drug, but any drug would do for the time being. “Okay, I will take it. Does it have the same effect?”

  He started to walk toward his bag of stuff. “Yep, but it is more potent. It’s five per pill.”

  I pulled my money out and saw I had thirty five dollars left. I handed him all of it, but five dollars. He gave me the bottle. I put it in my bag and headed out the door. I walked down the street and I went into a corner store to get a bag of peanuts and a bottle of water. I needed to save them, because I had no idea when I would be eating again. After I got the stuff, I asked if I could use the bathroom. I walked in, put down my bag, and dug out the bottle. I took one of the new pills out and shoved it in my mouth. After I got changed and fixed my hair, I left. I decide would go back to living under the bridge. Once I got to my spot, I took my bag off and sat on the gravel. I started to feel really high, more high than normal. I guess he wasn’t kidding me when he said it was more potent. My heart started to beat faster and harder. I started to panic. What was it that he gave me?

  I got up, and I got really lightheaded. I started to walk back toward the abandoned building. While walking there, I felt foggy and disconnected. Once I got there, I knocked on the door. Toothless opened the door.

  “What do you want? I told you to go away.”

  “What? What was in that pill?”

  He laughed at me. “Oh, so it’s your first time taking something harder, huh?”

  I was so confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Honey, you just took a pill laced with crack-cocaine.”

  With that, he slammed the door in my face. No, no, no, I started to panic. I started to walk back toward the bridge. Maybe if I lied down, I could sleep this off. Once I made it to the bridge, my legs gave out, so I crawled to a place in the bridge to hide from the public. I had no idea what happened next. All I knew was that I was hit on the back of the head and everything went black.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jeb

  We decided to get up early in the morning to go look for Toria. I paced most of the night just thinking the worst had happened to her. “Jeb, did you sleep at all last night?”

  Vanessa walked out of the back of the trailer. “Maybe an hour. I just want to find her.”

  “We are all worried about her. Mitch gave us some places to go look. We will find her.”

  “God, I hope so.”

  She made us some coffee, and after we drank a cup, we said goodbye to Mitch and Tony. Mitch looked horrible and it got me more worried about Toria. We got into Vanessa’s car and we started for town. After we found a parking spot, we got out to search under the bridge where Mitch said she could be. When we got there, she was nowhere to be found. We walked up and down along the bridge looking for anything and nothing. We got close to East Street where the bridge ventured over the river and that was when something on the ground caught my attention. I ran toward it, and when I got closer, I saw it was a body.

  “Oh no. No, no, please don’t be Toria.” I got close enough to see it was her. I dropped to the ground, and I heard Vanessa gasp behind me. She was barely breathing and her head was gashed open. “Vanessa, call 9-1-1… now. Please, baby, be okay. Please.” I pulled her onto my lap. The blood was coming out of the back of her head, so I tried to stem the flow as best as I could.

  “Jeb? Oh my god, the blood. Here take my jacket and hold it against her head. The ambulance is on the way.”

  As I held her close to me, I became pissed. This was all my fault. I pushed her and now I was about to lose her. I couldn’t lose her when I just found her. Oh god, please don’t take her from me.

  “Sir, I need you to put the lady on the ground.”

  I looked to see it was one of the paramedics.

  Another asked me a bunch of questions. “What’s her name? Age?”

  “Toria Jacobs, and she’s going on twenty.”

  “Blood pressure eighty-five over forty, and it’s dropping. Heart rate too low to get. Has she token any drugs?”

  I ran my hand through my hair. “I’m not sure.” I watched as they lifted up her eye lids.

  “She is high. We need to get her to the hospital now.”

  “Can I ride, please?”

  The taller paramedic nodded.

  “Hey!” Vanessa yelled. “What hospital are you taking her to? I will go get my car.”

  The paramedic told her, and then he shut the doors. I watched as he put the oxygen mask on her and started an IV. He told me not to touch her. All I wanted to do was hold her. Once we got to the hospital, I was told to wait in the waiting room. Within thirty minutes, Vanessa showed up.

  “Any word yet?”

  “No, and I wish they would hurry up.”

  “We need to find her family or something. I know her parents kicked her out, but they have to still care about her.”

  She was right; her family should know that this happened to their daughter. I could call my father and get contact information from him.

  “Mr. Turner?” A cute blonde doctor came out to greet me. She was tall and petite. She looked really stressed, and I felt as if I was about to get some bad news.

  “That’s me. Can you please let us know what is going on? This is Vanessa Cruz, Toria’s best friend.”

  “I am Doctor Stella Johnson. We have Toria stable, but we need to know what drugs she took, so we are running some blood work. For the gash on her head, we got the bleeding stopped and stapled up. We are going to do an MRI to make sure there is no damage. But, Mr. Turner, she is in a coma. Whatever she took didn’t agree with her. Also, does she have any family? We went through her bag and didn’t find any ID.”

  Vanessa spoke up. “No. She was homeless and I took her in. We have no idea about her family.”

  “We need to get in contact with someone. Please try and find someone.”

  “Can I see her?”

  “Yes, but you are not to stay long.”

  I followed her to the ICU, and when I walked in and saw her, my heart broke. She was so pale, and she had tubes in her mouth and nose. She had an IV attach to her arm.

  “Toria, please, baby, you need to wake up. I don’t want to lose you. Please. We will get you the help you need, I promise, but you have to be strong and pull through this. Toria, I am falling in love with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I want you to be my life, to be my soul. I am not mad at you, I just need you. Please pull through this.”

  The tears poured from my eyes. I never cried like that, but seeing her like that was destroying me. My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket. It was my mother. I got up and walked out of the room.

  “Mom, please, not right now.”

  “Jeb, are you crying? What’s going on.”

  I put the phone down for a second to compose myself. “Mom, I need your help. But I don’t want you to tell Father. Can you do that?”

  “Of course. Now, please tell me what’s going on.”

  I explained everything to her. She had no idea that I had hired my father’s attorney’s daughter. She stayed quiet the entire time. “Mom?”

  “Son, I just know she was in bad shape years ago. Are you sure you want to involve yourself in her destruction?”

  “I am positive. I think I am in love with her. I kn
ow that is silly, because we just met, but she is everything to me.”

  She took a deep breath. “Okay listen: I will text you the information you need to find her family. If they ask, you didn’t get this stuff from me.”

  “I promise, Mother. I love you.”

  “Son, I will do anything for you. Now for Barb, this woman has been ringing my phone senseless. Please tell her I wish to not speak to her.”

  “I will, Mother. I told you she was nuts.”

  She chuckled, we said our goodbyes, And I stepped back in the room to be with Toria. She looked horrible. Within moments, I got a text from my mother. I stood up and went to the nurse’s desk.

  “Excuse me. I have to do run somewhere really fast. Will it be okay if Vanessa comes and sits with her?”

  “Of course, I will get her now.”

  I called up a taxi so I could go get my car. On the way back to Vanessa’s, I silently prayed to myself that Toria would be okay and that this visit to her family would go smoothly. It took me about an hour to get to her parents’ house. The house was huge and in a nice part of town. Toria’s family came from so much money, and it made me sick to think that they just left her out on the streets like that. I pulled in the driveway and got out. I walked up to the door and looked down at myself. I noticed I was covered in Toria’s blood. What a great way to meet her family. I rang the doorbell and a younger version of Toria opened the door. Though she looked cleaner and healthier.

  “Um, can I help you?”

  “Yes, I need to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs. This is about their daughter.”

  “You must be mistaken; I am the only daughter they have.”

  She started to shut the door, but I stopped it.

  “Please, Toria needs help.”

  “I don’t know a Toria, and if you don’t leave right now, I will call the cops.”

  “Bri, who is at the door?”

  “Mrs. Jacobs, please.”

  She walked into my sight, and she was as beautiful as Toria. “Yes?”

  “Your husband is my father’s attorney, Mr. Darrin Turner.”