by Lee, Nadia
Just then, what I said while watching that episode of Criminal Minds comes back to me. Mental illness runs in the family.
Shit. I didn’t mean anything by it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t have an impact on Erin to hear me say it so casually.
During her “enlightenment” phase, when she was into Eastern philosophies, Kathleen once told me that a stone tossed out thoughtlessly into a pond can kill an innocent frog. I feel like that’s exactly what I’ve done. Even though I didn’t know, I still bear responsibility for saying it.
On the other hand, I can’t think of a way to apologize, either…except to be more mindful of what I say and do. I wish I could bring it up, but I don’t know how. This is such a delicate topic for her that I’m afraid I’ll botch it, maybe even make her think I pity her or have some other crappy motive—like Fordham.
In the morning, I hunt through my wines to pick out a bottle of red that Sophia will like. I feel like there’s a handful of sand in my eyes from the lack of sleep, but Dane’s doing me a favor, so I need to bring something good. Besides, giving this to his wife will earn me double points in Dane’s book.
A couple of minutes later, Erin comes to the kitchen, looking rested, for which I’m grateful. There’s no reason for both of us to suffer.
She’s in one of the new dresses Josephine must’ve helped her pick out. It’s a fitted purple number with a halter neck, and she’s wearing the matching sandals, her pink toenails peeking through.
She’s irresistibly adorable, her cheeks rosy. If I weren’t her fake fiancé and we didn’t have to be in the office together, I’d kiss her silly.
She gives me a slightly shy smile. “Does this look okay? I thought maybe we’d go straight to dinner after work.”
I smile. “You look incredible, and yeah, we’ll need to if we don’t want to be late. Dane hates to be kept waiting.” I place a kiss on her forehead even though I know it’s make-believe. Fake or not, she’s my fiancée, and I want her to know how gorgeous she is.
She flushes, her eyes bright. She touches the spot I kissed, then curls her hand, like she’s holding something fragile and precious. “Thanks.”
“And purple is a fantastic color for you,” I say in a light tone, trying not to read too much into her gesture. “I hope you bought a lot of new purple things. Otherwise, I’m going to have to complain to Josephine and have her come back again.” I wink.
Erin laughs. “Please don’t. She did great, and I have plenty of stuff in, like, every shade. She was very persuasive.”
“Good.” Seeing Erin happy and glowing is worth the astronomical invoice I’m about to receive. Although I’m not into women’s fashion, I recognize the brand. It’s one of Cora’s favorites, and she has expensive taste. “We should take my car to work today rather than driving separately. It’s easier, and Dane might wonder why we don’t carpool when we’re living together.”
“Makes sense,” she says.
The shared ride in the Lamborghini is great, especially when I get to watch her sip her coffee. I reach over and link our hands together. She squeezes back, smiling at me.
In the office, I order a bouquet of purple hyacinths to be delivered as soon as possible. Nothing huge and ostentatious like the roses Fordham bought, but something that can liven up her workstation and make her smile every time she looks up from her computer.
I know when the blossoms arrive because I can hear some voices, and Erin walks in, her smile brilliant. “Thank you, David,” she says brightly. “You didn’t have to. I would’ve told Sophia you bought me lots of hyacinths even if you hadn’t.”
“My pleasure. And I bought them because I wanted to. You deserve them. It has nothing to do with dinner tonight. I just want you to be happy.”
Her mouth forms an O. She licks her lips, then blinks several times like she’s lost for words.
Just what the hell kind of life has she had that it’s so hard for her to just accept a nice gesture and be happy? I wish I could meet her dad, demand why he didn’t do more to help her become secure in herself.
Watching her cast around for something to say is too painful. I swallow a small lump in my throat. “Just…bring me the agenda for the three o’clock meeting.”
“Okay,” she says with relief, and leaves.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Erin
Dane’s home is a huge estate. Ornate black gates and fences block outsiders from entering the multi-acre property. I can’t see anything but lush green from the outside.
“Wow,” I say.
“Yeah. He went overboard,” David says, obviously misunderstanding the cause for my “wow.” “Really should’ve bought something smaller, but he said he wanted extra privacy. Plus he said children need more space to run around.”
“How many does he have?”
“Just one at the moment. Sophia wants more, though.”
That’s an interesting way to put it. “He doesn’t want more?”
“Sophia had a difficult pregnancy with the first kid. He prefers to not have her go through that again, even though he’s never said it outright. He knows how she feels.”
David must be very close to Dane to have realized that. Which means that it matters how this evening goes. I let out a soft, nervous breath. If we want to see if we can convince everyone, including David’s family, that we’re really engaged, Dane is a good test case.
David enters a code into the security pad, and the gates open.
I sit back and take in the view. Immaculately trimmed shrubs and trees line the driveway. Flowers… So many flowers are blooming in a garden until it’s saturated with vivid color.
“They’re stunning,” I say.
“Sophia’s doing. She loves pretty things. If it had been left up to Dane, he would’ve let his gardener put in something dignified and low maintenance, like a few oaks or pines on the lawn, and been done with it. He’s not very sentimental. You’ll see.”
I think back to the pink Cullinan. How could an unsentimental man drive something so pink and pretty? It doesn’t fit at all.
David parks the Lamborghini, and I climb out before he can come around and open my door. He did that once at the office lot, and it was hugely awkward and embarrassing. It just felt like something I shouldn’t expect. Ever.
We go inside together, David carrying the wine he picked out this morning. The fact that he doesn’t even need to knock reinforces my notion that he and Dane are close. The foyer is enormous, the hardwood gleaming, not a speck of dust in sight, with a fresh coat of wax that shines under the light. It reminds me a little of my parents’ home. Dad likes to have it cleaned and waxed regularly. He says it makes us look nice and normal, which is the most important thing as far as he’s concerned.
The memory of that puts a damper on my mood, and anxiety courses through me. Are Dane and Sophia big on being normal? Would they be shocked—maybe even horrified—if they found out about what a ticking mental time bomb I am?
Sophia comes out with a smile. “Welcome!” she says. Her hair’s pulled back in a ponytail and she’s in a blue maxi dress that brings out her eyes. She’s perfectly put-together except for a yellow stain on her skirt. It looks…wet.
“I’d hug you both, but Isabella put paint on my outfit, and I’m afraid it might get on your clothes,” she says. “I love your dress, Erin. So chic and lively.”
Her kind words soothe my frayed nerves. “Thank you.”
Her gaze drops to my finger. “And your ring! So stunning and unique. Mind if I see it more closely?”
Pleased with her praise, I lift my hand.
“Oh wow. It’s so David. I knew he wouldn’t just pick a traditional diamond ring. Much too ordinary.” She grins.
“Thank you,” I say, remembering that I’m the one who wanted an ordinary diamond ring because I wanted to appear normal. Apparently, ruby rings are not that weird. Who knew? But it makes me feel better that Sophia isn’t big on tradition or being ordinary.
“He
re you go.” David hands her the wine. “Thanks for inviting us.”
“Thank you, and it’s our pleasure to have you over.” She reads the label. “Dane will love this, and so will I.” She smiles. “Watch out for stray Lego pieces. Even if you step on them with your shoes on, they can be slippery. And falling on your butt hurts more than stepping on them barefoot.”
“Speaking from experience?” David says.
“Yes.” She sighs. “Iain—one of Dane’s brothers,” she adds for my benefit, “sent Isabella a huge Star Wars set. After she finished putting it together yesterday, she dropped it half an hour ago from the staircase while running around, and it just exploded. Scattered everywhere.” She sighs again, a hand over her forehead.
A loud shriek comes from our left. A small blue-eyed blonde girl rushes out, giggling. “Daddy can’t catch me!” She waves a paintbrush like a wand.
“Oh no you don’t,” Dane says, running after her. “Put the brush down before you do more ‘art.’”
His appearance staggers me. He’s missing a tie, his collar’s undone, his sleeves are rolled up and colorful paint has splattered an otherwise pristine dress shirt that had to have cost hundreds of dollars. More paint stains his pinstriped pants as well.
“But I can’t do art if I don’t have my brush!”
“David and Erin are here,” Sophia says.
The little girl glances at me and David, then waves. “Hello. I’m Isabella.”
“Hi. I’m Erin,” I say with a smile. She’s entirely too cute.
“I’ll give you a kiss if you put down your brush,” David says, squatting with his hands resting on his knees.
Her gaze swings from him to her brush, then back to him. She shakes her head. “It’s okay.”
He makes an exaggerated expression of despair, clutching his chest and groaning like a wounded animal. “Ow! That hurt!”
I press my lips so I don’t start laughing. This is a side of him I’ve never seen before, but I like it.
“Put the brush away, Isabella. It’s time for dinner,” Sophia says.
“But I want to paint!” The little girl looks up at her dad with trembling lips. “Please, Daddy?”
Dane’s face cracks, but Sophia’s hardens. She clears her throat.
He steals a quick look at her, inhales deeply and shakes his head. “No, sweetie pie.”
Sweetie pie? Especially in that dulcet tone? I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything.
David’s rolling his eyes, looking incredulous.
“You have to wash your hands and eat,” Dane says, although the look in his eyes says he’s heartbroken he couldn’t let her do whatever she wants.
“Okay.” Isabelle sighs, then walks off, still holding her paintbrush.
When she’s gone, David makes a whipping noise. “Man.”
Dane’s soft mask slips off faster than water on oil. He’s back to the Mr. Iceberg I remember from earlier. “So you’re here.”
“I told you.”
“And your fiancée.”
Is it me, or does his tone imply that he doesn’t buy the whole engagement thing? Did David tell him the truth?
“My fiancée,” David says with a big smile.
Okay, so he didn’t. Maybe Dane’s just chronically grumpy. “Hi…” I say tentatively, hoping he doesn’t bite my head off.
“Let’s take you inside to the dining room, and we’ll change and be right back,” Sophia says. “Hope you like sangria, Erin.”
“Sure, love it,” I say. I don’t want her to worry about something I’ll never know the flavor of.
She and Dane take us to a huge room with bright colors and a high ceiling. The table’s large enough to seat at least twenty people, but plates, glasses and utensils are set up at one end for easier conversation. A pitcher of ice water and a pitcher of sangria sit on the table as well, along with an enormous bouquet of pink orchids.
“It’s big,” I comment. “Do you entertain a lot?”
“Sometimes. Dane has four siblings, so we need space when we have them over.” Sophia gestures. “Make yourselves comfortable.”
We sit down. “We’re good. Go make yourselves presentable,” David says.
“Be right back,” Sophia says, leaving with Dane.
I note they’re holding hands, Dane’s head dipped over her as he whispers. It’s such an odd scene, knowing what I know about Dane’s personality. But at the same time, it’s sweet.
“How long have they been married?” I ask.
“Five…six years?” David pours me a glass of sangria. “Here. This should help you relax.”
“Thanks. Am I that obvious?” I thought I was doing a decent job of projecting a poised-yet-nonchalant dinner guest.
“Well, they are more or less strangers to you, and I can tell you aren’t totally comfortable. Not that I blame you. Nobody relaxes around Dane, except maybe his wife and kid. He’s so pussy-whipped.” David rolls his eyes, but with a small smile.
“He just loves them,” I say, doing my best to ignore the yearning in my heart. Sophia has everything I wish for—a doting husband and a bright child. If I’m not careful, I’ll get too emotional, and I don’t want to embarrass myself or David in front of his friends.
David nods. “Yeah. There is that.”
Isabella returns to the table and sits next to me. “Could I can have some of your juice, please?” she asks in an angelic tone.
“I’m afraid not, princess. It’s alcohol,” I say.
“It’s juice,” she says, fluttering her eyelashes. “Mommy said I could have some.”
I marvel at her ability to lie so easily with such an innocent face. Her eyes are so wide and blue that it’s impossible to think she’s being sly.
David leans close to her. “That might work on your daddy, but it won’t work on us.”
She pouts. “That’s being greedy. Daddy says you have to share.”
He straightens. “Ha! Your mommy might have said that. Your daddy’s the greediest bas—I mean, uh, the most tight-fisted man I’ve ever met.”
“No, he’s not. His hands aren’t like this.” The girl clenches her hands so hard that they start shaking.
I burst out laughing. She’s pretty precocious, and I didn’t realize she might not know some of the words.
Sophia and Dane come back in. She’s in a pale gold dress, and he’s in a blue V-neck shirt and black slacks. He’s carrying a few plastic bags with logos I can’t make out. He looks at Isabella’s fists and David and me laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“Daddy, are your fists tight?”
“Not usually, honey,” he says warmly. His cold gaze falls on David. “Now why would my child ask that?”
David shrugs. “Eh, kids. You know.”
Dane merely grunts. Sophia sits down. “I hope you don’t mind Mexican,” she says. “Our cook had a family emergency this afternoon, so we ordered some stuff from Manny’s. They have amazing food.”
“I love Mexican,” I say, relieved it’s going to be a simple dinner rather than some elaborate affair, like some of the boring political dinners I had to attend with my dad.
“Perfect.”
We lay out the food and start eating. My beef burrito is still hot.
“How do you keep everything so warm?” I ask.
“We have a food warmer. Keeps everything hot and fresh for an hour after we bring it home,” Sophia explains. “It’s the best thing ever. Our sister-in-law Jane recommended it. Iain’s wife. She’s an amazing cook.”
Sophia and Dane naturally segue into talking about family, then ask David about his parents—how they’re doing and what they’re up to these days. I nibble on my food, wondering what I’m supposed to say about mine when they get to me. Should I make stuff up? Tell them the family I wish I had, rather than the one I actually have?
But it seems like a crummy thing to do, to lie when Sophia and Dane are being so hospitable. Even if Dane seems to be just sort of going along with the whole thing becau
se of his wife.
So when I’m the one in the hot seat, I smile. “My dad’s the mayor of a small town in Virginia. Saintsville. You’ve probably never heard of it. I’m not even sure if it’s on a map. It’s that small,” I say, hoping that it discourages them from probing.
“Then we haven’t heard of it,” Dane says crisply.
Seems like this is his way of being conversational when he isn’t entirely interested. I’m glad he’s short. Makes it easier to not overshare.
“I bet it was nice growing up there,” Sophia says with a sigh. “I have this thing for a small-town life. I wish I could experience it.”
“We can always stay there for a bit if you want,” Dane says, this time with more interest.
Panic wells, making my mouth uncomfortably dry. I don’t want them anywhere near Saintsville. “Small-town life is dreadfully dull,” I say hurriedly. “Everyone knows everyone.”
“That sounds so friendly,” Sophia says.
“No. They know everyone because they’re that bored. Besides, they aren’t really welcoming to newcomers.” I search for something that will dissuade her. “And they love giving unsolicited advice about everything from your marriage to”—my gaze falls on Isabella—“childrearing.”
Dane’s mouth twists like he just bit into sand. Ah ha. I knew he wouldn’t like that.
Sophia glances at Dane. “Hmm… Then that probably wouldn’t work.”
I nod. “Yeah, in a small town everyone is into everyone else’s business all the time. That’s why I left.” I sense David’s gaze boring into me and turn to him. He’s watching me with the oddest expression ever. It’s the same one he wore at Éternité when we were talking about my favorite flower. Did I say something to upset him?
“So. How did you know David was the one, Erin?” Dane says, refilling his wife’s sangria.
