by Lee, Nadia
A twinkle in her gaze, she goes to David and hugs him. “David! Missed you so much!”
I’m shocked at her exuberance. The only time I saw her, she was consummately professional, her manner brisk but courteous, as befits a CEO.
Then she turns to me, her eyes warm. “Welcome, Erin. So good to see you in a more casual setting.”
Oh wow. I can’t believe she remembers me. “Thank you. I feel the same way.”
“So.” She takes a seat and crosses her legs. Trent hands her a glass of white wine, and she accepts it with murmured thanks. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing much. Our dads are barbecuing,” Cora says. “And I was about to offer to help Erin plan her wedding.” She turns to me. “Unless you’ve already hired somebody?”
The abrupt change in topic stuns me. I blurt out, “Uh, no. I haven’t. We haven’t decided on anything yet.”
“Is your mother going to be flying to L.A. to help you?” David’s mom asks.
I clear my throat. I should’ve known she’d want to know about Mom…and Dad. And no matter what, the meeting with my dad won’t go well. Since David’s mom’s still waiting for an answer, I shove aside the apprehension and focus on the present. “No. She passed away when I was in high school.”
Sympathy ripples through the Darling family. But there’s none of that undercurrent of pity I hate. It’s just them experiencing sorrow for my loss.
And just like that, I feel more bonded to them in ways I can’t put my finger on.
“Well, then, I guess I’ll play the mother of the bride for you. Unless you have somebody else in mind,” David’s mom says.
“I don’t,” I say.
“Excellent.” She smiles. “You won’t have to do anything on your own.”
“Exactly. I’ll fly out to L.A. to go dress shopping with you. Or anything else you need,” Cora offers.
I bite my lip. None of that’s going to happen, although from the way David is beaming, he’s probably imagining picking out silverware with his mother or something. Damn it. But this isn’t the right time or place to tell him my answer to his proposal is a no.
“Oh, sweetie,” Alexandra says, obviously having misinterpreted my reaction. “There’s no reason to stress. Stress is bad for you. David will help as much as he can, but whatever else there is, we’re here.”
I look around at the smiling faces. Unfamiliar emotions bloom inside me like spring flowers. I can’t remember a time I was surrounded by people who genuinely wanted the best for me, when I couldn’t do anything for them in return. I know they’re like this because they care about David. But regardless, I bask in it, wishing it could last forever, even after they come to know the real me.
“You wouldn’t believe how good the hamburgers are,” David’s dad says, sticking his head through the door.
“I’ll be right in,” Jimmy Darling yells from behind David’s dad. He’s a member of the C-suite, and I’ve only seen him looking put-together in expensive suits and ties. Right now, viewed through a window, he’s in a white T-shirt, a huge apron and shorts. “I just need to finish these venison sausages. You’re gonna love them, Erin. It’s my secret recipe.”
“Not that secret. It’s the one from Dad.”
I recognize George Darling’s voice booming from outside. He’s Cora and Alec’s father.
“I improved it!” Jimmy shoots back, before going back to the grill.
Alexandra shakes her head. “Boys.”
“You think he improved it for real this time?” David says.
Alexandra shrugs. “Always tastes the same to me,” she says. “But we should all agree they’re better. Otherwise, Jimmy’s feelings are going to be hurt.”
Everyone murmurs in assent, including me. It’s nice of them to try to cater to Jimmy’s pride, especially when it doesn’t hurt anybody. So different from my dad, who never pulled a punch to spare my feelings.
The C-suite executives from Sweet Darlings, Inc. walk in, each carrying a platter piled with grilled meat, sausages and veggies. Jan looks vaguely pale.
“Are you all right?” I ask.
“Yeah. I’m not going to throw up from the smell, if that’s what you mean.” She smiles faintly.
“Jan, hon, we have French toast for you,” David’s mom says.
“Aunt Sun, you’re the best.”
“I know.” She beams.
The door opens again. People turn, and I glance back, expecting more of David’s cousins.
Instead, it’s Shelly Morris.
I inhale sharply, feeling like I’ve been sucker-punched. What’s she doing here?
She’s in a fitted ivory dress and heeled sandals. Her hair’s pulled into a high knot that shows off her bones and slender neck. If I didn’t know better, I might think she was family, coming by to join a dinner she rightfully belongs to.
Did the Darlings invite her?
The thought does occur. It’s something that some of my old “friends” might’ve done to embarrass me. But I dismiss it instantly. David’s family is too nice to do something so cruel.
“Hello, everyone. I heard from Mom that David was back in town, so I figured I’d drop by.” Her gaze skims the huge gang, then falters on me. “My goodness. I didn’t realize he’d bring you here…considering.” A corner of her lip quirks.
Shock and fury clutch my gut. How dare she act like I’m the uninvited guest? Then I remember her threat. Is she here to out me? In front of everyone? The fury cools to icy fear…then congeals into simple resentment. I just wanted three months. Couldn’t she have waited that long?
David puts an arm around my shoulders. “Why wouldn’t she be here? She’s my fiancée.”
Shelly’s face twists, her cheeks blotchy. “Oh, come on, David! You would’ve never asked her to marry you if you’d known she was crazy. The people in her hometown call her Crazy Clare!”
Chapter Forty-Five
David
“Shut up, Shelly,” I say tightly.
My family’s gazes bore into me for a moment, then switch to Erin and Shelly. Erin might as well be made of marble under my arm. Her chin up, she faces Shelly with an unreadable expression. But I can sense a tremor running through her. Hatred for Shelly begins to boil.
Despite my desire to change the engagement to something more permanent, I know Erin still feels uncertain about it. I thought showing her how my family would accept and love her would allay her reservations. But with Shelly’s appearance, all of Erin’s previous relaxation has vanished.
“It’s true! Her mom went insane. I checked,” Shelly says, pointing at Erin. “Do you think I’d let somebody like her trap you into marriage? What if you have children?” She turns to my mother. “A lot of things are genetic. Your grandchildren could be born crazy or worse!”
My whole body goes cold. Erin slips from under my arm. I turn to pull her back, but she’s moving toward the kitchen with her empty wine glass. She probably needs a drink. Fuck. This is my fault. I should have just told everyone the real reason Shelly and I broke up at the time it happened.
Mom’s face is stony. I’ve only seen her like this once—when I wrapped my car around a tree, texting and driving when I was an idiot teenager. I never, ever glanced at my phone while driving again, ever.
Apparently, her reaction is emboldening Shelly. “David only thinks he wants her because she’s been hiding this and manipulating him. You remember how long we were together, don’t you?” She turns to me. “I know you better than anyone, David.”
She does and she doesn’t. She knows what I like, which is why she’s in a dress I would find gorgeous on her if this were two years ago. But she doesn’t know me at all if she thinks she can cheat on me and everything will go back to the way it used to be. And especially not when it’s because she needs my money.
I remember Derek’s words. He said keeping secrets would come back and bite me in the ass, even if I’m doing it to protect Mom. I should’ve listened. Then Shelly would’ve never dared to
cross the threshold of my parents’ home.
“No, you don’t. And I already know,” I shoot back at Shelly, facing her fully. It’s time I rectify my mistake and throw her out of my life permanently.
The superior mask slips. “You know what?”
“Everything. For one, I know about Erin’s mother, and I don’t care,” I say, to make sure she never brings that up again to hurt Erin. “And two, you’ve got some nerve coming here. Do you think it’s going to change anything?” I let my gaze roam over my family, blaming myself for the disapproval and confusion settling over them. Today should’ve been a joyous occasion, not this mess. “Yes, I broke up with Shelly because she relocated to Seattle. I was upset about that, but I also realized I never really loved her. I liked her and was comfortable with her, but that wasn’t deep or strong enough for me to make the move with her. I know some of you are wondering if she and I could just remain friends, but that’s impossible. She slept with her boss to land that job. Obviously, I can’t be with somebody who betrayed me that way, even if there wasn’t romantic love between us.” I hold Shelly’s eyes. “Once a backstabber, always a backstabber. No reason it wouldn’t happen again.”
Shelly turns pale, her throat working as she swallows, then she licks her lips as she looks at everyone gathered. I let out a breath, feeling like a huge burden’s been lifted. Now the truth is out. It’s up to the family to pass judgment.
“Thank God, you finally said it!” Derek says.
Mom’s eyes flash. “You knew and didn’t tell me, Derek Darling?”
Derek looks away. “David wanted me to keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” Mom whirls around to face me.
I clear my throat, wishing it isn’t angry disappointment I’m seeing in her eyes. “I didn’t want to affect your relationship with Mrs. Morris. You two are best friends.”
She puts her hands on her hips. “No best friend trumps my family, David Francis Darling!”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say meekly.
Dad always liked Shelly, but he’s looking at her with new eyes. “Well, well, well.”
“My goodness. I suppose it’s best you leave, then,” Grandma says coolly, turning to Shelly.
“And you’d better not show your face here ever again!” Mom’s voice seethes.
Shelly’s gaze darts around. She shoots an appealing look to Cora. They used to hang out all the time when we were dating.
But Cora merely cocks an eyebrow. “You heard them.”
“We’ve been together for forever!” Shelly yells.
I can’t decide if she’s talking to me or to Cora or to my family.
“Yes, and that’s the only reason we’re letting you go without further humiliation.” Grandmother’s tone is frigid. “I wonder if your parents know about your lack of character. Tsk.”
Shelly flashes tears. But that only earns a loud scoff from my mother and no encouragement from anyone else. She turns around and, walking a bit too fast, makes her exit.
I feel grimly satisfied, although it’s mixed with regret. I should’ve done this sooner. But now, finally, she’s permanently gone. She can’t even try her manipulative tactics through my parents anymore.
“Well. Now that the trash has been removed, we can resume dinner,” Grandmother says. “Erin, I’m so sorry about the scene. We usually do better when we entertain our…” Her voice trails off as she searches the faces in the room.
The hair on the back of my neck bristles as I look around. Icy fear and panic wrap around my chest like a vise.
Erin is gone.
Chapter Forty-Six
Erin
Bzzz.
Bzzz.
Bzzz.
My phone keeps going off, vibrating against my palm. I don’t bother checking the screen. It’s probably David calling and texting again.
I had to leave his parents’ home. Shelly announced my worst secret—publicly—something I never, ever wanted anybody to find out. I hate it that I’m only broken in my head. Why couldn’t my flaw be more obvious, really physically obvious, so people could see it at once?
That way, I’d never get to hope. That way, people would avoid me on their own. It wouldn’t be up to me to share how broken I am with the people whose opinions I care about the most.
Deep shame engulfs me, sucking me down. My wish to experience what it’s like to be normal was stupid and selfish. Because I’m not normal. All I’ve done is lie to the people around me.
David asked to make our engagement real. He wants to marry me for real. But he doesn’t know, like Shelly, that our kids will end up like me and my mom. Mrs. Darling wants a grandbaby so badly that she sent that giant framed picture of pregnant Jan and Matt to David. Will she still want one if it comes from someone like me?
My feet slap against unfamiliar pavement. I have no idea where I am, where I’m going or what I’m going to do. I only left with my phone. Should I pat myself on the back for at least having that? Should I grab a Lyft to the airport? I can probably buy a plane ticket back to L.A. I’m pretty sure a couple of travel sites I’ve used before have my credit card information. Or maybe they’ll take PayPal.
Then what?
I can’t think that far ahead. The only thing I want right now is to get away from David and his family…put as much distance as possible between us. I’ll probably need to quit my job, too. Or maybe Alexandra has already fired me. I have no idea.
My phone goes off again. I should just talk to David… After all, I can’t avoid him forever.
But it’s Dad. He’s probably going to try to get me to ask David to back his campaign again. That’s really all I’m good for to my dad. I’m not somebody he’d want to check up on otherwise. He didn’t even text last Christmas. Or wish me happy birthday this year.
Something snaps inside me. I want to scream and throw the phone against the asphalt and watch it shatter into pieces. I want to rage against the unfairness. The scary knowledge that I’m going to be like my mom, that I’m going to become a burden, that everyone around me is going to pity me and judge me. It twists and wraps me up like a boa constrictor, and I can’t breathe.
“Erin? Erin! Oh my God, there you are!”
I swivel my head. It’s David’s mom yelling from a blue BMW. I tighten my grip on the phone as she approaches.
What’s she doing here? Didn’t she understand what Shelly said? Good thing I didn’t throw the phone down and scream like a maniac. It would’ve given vivid proof that I’m—
“Come on, hop in!” She gestures. “We’re going home. David’s worried sick!” She stops the car and pulls out her phone.
“No!” I lunge toward the car, my hands slapping the door. “Don’t call him!”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want…” I look away, then slowly pull away from the car. I must look demented. My shoulders droop. God, I’m so tired. “I can’t face him. I’m not ready yet.”
She looks at me for a moment, then kills the engine and climbs out of the convertible. Her hand rests gently on my shoulder.
The skin around my eyes heats with unshed tears. Why isn’t she yelling? Then I wouldn’t feel like crying now.
“Honey, it’s okay,” she says softly.
“No, it’s not. I should’ve said something before.” My voice is thick and shaky. I cover my eyes with a trembling hand.
“So? Do you think that would’ve made any difference?”
“Don’t you?”
“Nope. He doesn’t let go when he decides he wants something or someone. And he wants you, dear.”
“Because he didn’t know.”
“He knew it all. He said so after Shelly attacked you. Didn’t you hear?”
Slowly, I drop my hand and look at her, confusion and shock swirling through my head. “No. I…I left after she said the thing about kids. He never said a word to me about it, though.” And why didn’t he? Was he too stunned to bring it up? Or maybe he was lying to make Shelly shut up. He despises her, so it�
�s possible.
“Yes. He should’ve said something before now. And you should’ve stayed. You deserve our hospitality far more than that ho.”
I do a double take. Did Mrs. Darling just say “ho”?
“Don’t be shocked. That’s exactly what she is for cheating on David.” She takes my hand and places it on her open palm. “But even without that, David never wanted Shelly enough, at least not enough to move to Seattle with her. I just wanted them to be together because they looked so good for so long. I was kidding myself, and I knew it. Just didn’t want to admit it.”
“You heard Shelly. She isn’t wrong about my mom.”
Mrs. Darling scoffs. “So? My dad was mentally ill. Do you know that?”
“Your… No, I didn’t.” She’s so indomitable, so vibrant and wonderful, it never crossed my mind that there would be anything like that in her past. And it makes me empathize with her more—that we share something similar.
She sighs quietly. “We had to put him in a care facility eventually. But that doesn’t mean we loved him any less. It was what it was, and I think, in a way, he knew. And as sad as what happened to my father was, I don’t think I’m crazy or heading in that direction. Do you?”
“No,” I say hurriedly.
“Exactly.” She smiles a self-satisfied smile. “Don’t be so obsessed with the possibility of something bad happening. It’ll only ensure that nothing good ever happens. You can look at your life as full of risks—that some terrible unknown could bring everything crashing down. Or look at it as full of possibilities—that you can seize an opportunity and make something good happen.”
Her little speech percolates through my mind, and I soak it in, one wise, loving word at a time. Nobody has ever said that to me before. And I’ve never thought of my life that way. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Because David loves you. And I want my son to be happy. And I’d also like a grandchild or two.” She looks at me kindly. “Don’t give up on him—or yourself—because of what happened to your mom. It’s not fair to either of you. He’s a big boy, and he knows what he wants.”
