by Becky Black
Ilyan stood up and took the pistol belt from me, strapped it on so the holster sat on his right hip. He touched the pistol grip, fingers brushing it lightly, his face nervous.
"Do you expect us to run into trouble here?"
"It's possible," I said.
He shivered despite the heat.
"If it happens you and Tes should just stay low and let the rest of us handle it. But you've got the gun, just in case."
"I suspect I will just close my eyes and -"
"Fire into the green?" I finished. But I knew what both of us really feared wasn't the aliens but other humans, sent by High Command. I wondered if Ilyan could shoot a human, should it come down to it. I've never done that. Never even fragged an officer.
"Well," he said, slowly. "Well, I'm sure you'll keep us all safe, Jadeth."
"Do my best."
We set out, and I soon moved this experience to the bottom of the list of most fun things I'd ever done. The dry heat left us all with parched throats. The vicious sun battered our aching heads, despite the hats and scarves we wore. I kept my helmet visor down and shaded to block the painful glare off the pale rock. The barren terrain offered minimal cover and uneven, treacherous ground made it impossible to get into a stride.
I took rearguard at Maiga's orders, while she took point and navigated. We trooped miserably through the grim landscape. Tesla treated us to a running commentary. Partly about how hot it was, which I knew. The rest of the time he told us how much his head and back and feet hurt, which I didn't want to know.
"Why the hell would anyone fight over this territory?" Ilyan sounded testier than usual. He probably had a headache, despite his hat and the scarf covering the back of his neck.
"Who the hell cares?" I muttered. Not really in answer, I don't think he expected one. But he did glance back at me, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, and then turned away again.
"Stupid," he said quietly. "Damn stupid waste of time and resources."
We walked in silence for a while. Well we kept silent, but the buzzing of insects filled the air. What the hell did the bugs eat? Rock? I ignored them. It's not worth getting aerated over a few bugs, not worth the sweat. But some of the others found them troublesome, waving at the air to keep them off.
"Ugh!" Tesla cried suddenly, sounding disgusted. "I swallowed one!" Maiga looked back at him for a second, but then continued. Ilyan, walking behind Tesla caught up to him. "I swallowed one of the damn bugs!"
"Think of it as extra protein," I growled, earning a dirty look from nearly everyone.
"What if it's poisonous?" Tesla demanded, coming to a halt.
"Then it'll soon be a lot quieter around here."
"Shut up, Jadeth!" Maiga called from up ahead. Then her voice sounded right in my ear over the comms line. I saw she had her radio lifted to her mouth. "Leave him alone or I'll come back there and beat the crap out of you."
"Yeah? I'm shaking." I sneered back at her, not even taking the trouble to keep it quiet. Her glare sizzled across to me. I'd been restraining myself from strutting around like a colonel and hadn't been challenging her as much lately. The novelty of having an officer I could talk back to without being tossed in the brig had almost worn off. But I couldn't resist a dig now and again. Especially not when she jumped on me for teasing Tesla. Not that I maybe didn't deserve slapping down for that. But she never did the same if I said anything similar to Ilyan. Even he whined sometimes and since he wanted me to toughen him up, I gave him a hard time about it. But Maiga never snapped at me for that the way she did if I needled Tesla.
Bitch. Couldn't she try to make her game a bit less obvious? I thought about talking to Ilyan about it. He's a bright bloke, but the most intelligent fella can be blind to certain things. But I decided against saying anything. Never interfere between a man and his woman. Basic rule.
I stood there waiting as Tesla drank water and spat (stupid, stupid, stupid) to get rid of the taste of the miniscule bug he'd swallowed. I tapped my foot against a rock, making no secret of my impatience. Vim and Diliph, standing nearby, frowned at me. I glared back, not feeling like getting the hairy eyeball from a couple of cubs like that.
"We moving?" I shouted. My eyes locked on Maiga's again. She dropped back from point.
"Break, ten minutes," she called. "Keep your packs on. Sergeant, watch the back trail."
I sighed theatrically and moved into position, sat propped up against a rock that gave me a good view down the trail we'd just walked up. I drank some water.
"Jadeth."
I glanced back to see Ilyan approaching me. He took off his sunglasses and I flipped up my visor. "Here, you want half of this?" He snapped a protein bar in half and handed a piece to me. I nodded and took it.
"Thanks." I polished it off in a couple of bites. Some kind of fruity flavour, nice.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I glanced at him, surprised at the question and the concerned tone. Well I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, he's a sensitive bloke.
"Just tired."
"Right," he said. He took a small bite of his half of the protein bar.
"Are you having regrets, Jadeth?"
"Regrets?"
"Do you wish you hadn't joined up with me?"
I stared at him. How the hell could he think that?
"I think Tesla is," Ilyan went on, not really waiting for my answer, his eyes far off.
"What, just because he complains a lot? Nah, I know plenty of fellas who just complain same as they breathe. They're awake they're moaning."
"He's not adapted for this."
"Well, neither are you. But don't worry about him, he's coping."
"Is he?" Ilyan looked back at me. "Is he really?" This time he expected an answer.
"Yeah," I said, giving my professional opinion. "It's a battle, but he's getting there."
"He doesn't like it."
"He doesn't have to like it. He just has to get on with it."
"Right." Ilyan went silent for a while and slowly ate the rest of the food bar. "Jadeth, I am glad you're here."
I wanted to flip my visor back down to stop him seeing the smile on my face.
"But I wish you'd make more of an effort to get along with Maiga."
The smile vanished.
"She doesn't make much effort to get along with me," I said, trying not to let my tone get too harsh.
"I know." He let out a heavy sigh. "I know."
I guess he's not used to people who just spit their dislike into each other's faces. Back at spook central I'll bet it was all diplomatic snark and metaphorical knives in the back. Dislike. That's a diplomatic word too. My 'dislike' for Maiga chewed at the edges of my soul.
"Let's go!" Maiga called.
****
In the afternoon we tracked down a company of marines who looked like they'd been totally fucked over in their last engagement. They were waiting for a med-evac transport and just sitting tight with their wounded until then. Maybe their weariness made them more inclined to listen to Ilyan, because they ate it up with a spoon and I got the feeling half of 'em would have joined us right there and then, but Ilyan convinced them they'd do more good by spreading the word when they were evacuated back to base.
They gave us some supplies and asked us to stay with them overnight, but Maiga preferred us to get away on our own. I guess she didn't trust them. Paranoid.
So we hiked until dark and then set up camp among the rocks. We had no tents; this place stayed hot all night. After dinner, I laid out my bedroll, ready to get my head down right away. I checked where Ilyan had his bedroll and saw he was already lying down too. All that walking in the hot sun had left us all wiped out. I'd be up later for a watch, but until then I slept, dead to the world, dreaming of sweet grass, a meadow, flowers, my bloodied hands digging in the earth.
****
Did instinct wake me? Or did I hear a strange footfall that even in my sleep I knew didn't belong to any of us? I opened my eyes to see a booted foot
right by my head. The two big Ayok moons made more than enough light to see. Three intruders. All black clad. Two moved around the sleeping group, checking everyone's faces. One of them stood keeping watch.
My hand moved to the rifle lying beside me. Slow, slow, slow.
One signalled his mate with a thumbs up and I saw he was standing over Ilyan. He drew a knife.
Too late for slowness now. I came up to one knee with the rifle and fired at the one about to slit Ilyan's throat. Down he went and up everyone else came. The other two intruders turned to me as I surged up to my feet. One fired and I felt heat along my side. Must have been a pulse round. I took the bastard out with my second shot. The third fell down with very little head left before I could fire again. Maiga rose up behind him, holding her pistol, as he crumpled.
Rin ran back into the camp, weapon pointed, looking for someone to kill.
"Where the fuck were you?" Maiga demanded.
"I had to--" He stared shocked at the three downed intruders. "What the hell happened?"
I didn't care about what happened. I just wanted to make sure of one thing.
"Ilyan?" I called. Maiga had a knee in his back to keep him down. She let him go and he stood. I ran over and grabbed his arm. Maiga moved away and started checking the bodies.
"We should move!" I said. "They could have backup."
"Jadeth?" Ilyan stared at me, his face pale. "Sit down!"
"You want to sit down? Are you hurt?"
"No, Jadeth." He put his hand to my side and I gasped at the sudden pain. He lifted his hand and I stared at the blood. That hadn't been a pulse round. That wasn't heat I'd felt.
"Oh fuck."
Chapter 12
I hit the ground and saw nothing but blackness. I heard Ilyan shouting.
"He's hit! He's hit! Tanashi! Diliph!"
Medic's voices babbled. Pain clawed at me as they started touching me.
I realised why I could see only darkness. Had my eyes closed. I tried to open them. Not easy, but did it. Tanashi and Diliph's heads bobbed over me. And standing over them, outlined against sunny blue sky…
"Ilyan." I reached for him. No, I didn't. I thought I did, I wanted to. But my arm didn't actually move.
"I'm here, Jadeth. Hang on, you'll be okay."
He looked so scared. The eagle circled in the blue sky high over his head.
Darkness again.
Pain. I wasn't strong enough not to cry out. Rish and Rin, or it might have been Rin and Rish, lifted me, arms over shoulders. Eyes opened again to see the doc right in front of me. Face all scrunched up with worry and splashed with blood. Blood in her hair. Hands covered in it. Blood red. You're dead. I'm dead. No, hurts too much for dead. Rish and Rin started lifting my legs then, getting me into a chair carry. Still hurts. Gasped, sweat pouring.
"Jadeth," Tanashi said, face close to mine. "I've given you pain meds they'll kick in any second." She turned away to Rish or Rin, on my left. "Try not to jar him too much. That seal won't hold if you do."
Yeah, try not, that'd be good.
"Come on!" Maiga's voice. Urgent. Hurry up. Hurry up. What's she got a bee in her bonnet about now?
Then the pain meds hit and bang! There I was, gone.
"Jadeth, keep still, damn it."
On my back again, Maiga leaning over me. Sky all light and burned white. Made me squint. My right side was a big slab of numb. Tanashi must have filched some hot stuff from the troop ship. I couldn't feel much of anything.
"How's he doing?" Ilyan. Knelt beside me. This time I did manage to move my arm. Lifted my hand up to him and he took it. "Hey, Jadeth." He smiled down at me, but couldn't hide the fear in his eyes. He had blood in his hair and dark stains on his clothes. Blood everywhere. Red. Dead.
"Where?" I gasped.
"With the marines. The ones waiting for med-evac, we're getting you out of here."
"No, too dangerous," I whispered. Couldn't let Ilyan get on a military transport, even med-evac. Too risky.
Seemed my opinion of the plan didn't count for much right now though. He just smiled down and shushed me, stroked my face with his free hand.
"You'll be okay."
My eyes closed again. I just concentrated on the touch of Ilyan's hands as I drifted back down into the dark. Hand in mine. Fingers curled around. Hand on my face. Soft hands. Spook's hands. Stroked my hair all gentle like. Soothed me. Whisper of his voice was like a rope for my mind to hang onto in the swirling darkness that sucked me deeper and deeper. Deader and deader.
Noise. A lot of noise. Choppers and yelling and moving and hurting and I yelled out for the bastards to just leave me the fuck alone and let me die.
Up, up into the sky. I wondered how we'd swung it. Made me an honorary marine for a day? Not good, but better than dead and fried on a mountainside on Ayokidishi. Okis. Liked the Okis. Cold drink kings. A beer would go down sweet now. Throat so dry I could only make a rasping sound when I tried to speak. A shadow fell across me and then Ilyan's face in the middle of it. He still held my hand.
"What was that?" He bent down, ear close to my mouth. What had I said? I couldn't remember now. The grey mist closed again. So tired.
Oh, yes. I remembered. Something very important.
"Want… cold… beer."
He laughed, and sat up, pushing his hair off his face.
"Okay, Jadeth. Soon as we land, I'll take you out for a nice cold beer."
The curtain of darkness fell again.
When it lifted, I knew I was in a field hospital. Knew it from the smell of blood, and the shouts and screams. Not getting a beer here.
Flurrying and hurrying then the glare of bright lights I felt too tired to turn away from. Somebody tried to put an oxygen mask over my face. I saw Tanashi stood there waiting, hands held up awkwardly. Saw other people I didn't know.
"Ilyan," I said, trying to pull away the mask. Tanashi bent over me, didn't touch me. Scrubbed up already.
"He's outside. Just relax."
"Safe?" I asked.
"Yes, you're safe."
Not what I meant. I spoke again. "Ilyan. Safe?"
"Yes. He's safe. Relax, Jadeth."
I felt the prick of a needle in my arm. Oblivion.
****
I knew Ilyan would be there when I woke. He sat on the end of my cot, wearing fresh clothes, my blood cleaned off his skin and hair.
He held his Snapper, reading something, but looked up and smiled when I moved and croaked out his name.
"Jadeth, how do you feel?" He spoke quietly, and I looked around to see lots more cots lining the darkened ward. Casualties rested in most of them. A couple of nurses pottered around.
"Sort of numb," I said. And vague and dopey. I looked down at myself, at the grey blanket covering me and pulled it up till my feet stuck out of the end. I never liked my feet covered up. I had on a pair of warm, fluffy socks. Not my socks, but on my feet so mine now. Shiny kit, fluffy socks, if it's not nailed down... I wriggled my toes in my new socks.
"Where's my boots," I said, suddenly, alarmed. Panic must have come through in my voice, because Ilyan smiled indulgently.
"Don't worry, they're right here under your bed." He pointed to the side of the cot. "The surgeons managed to remove them. A couple of people were standing too close and needed smelling salts, but the boots are unharmed."
"Funny guy," I whispered, voice going.
"Oh." He grabbed for a cup and poured water into it from a bottle by the bed. "Here. Slowly, sip it." He helped me, holding my head up so I could sip the water.
"Help me sit up," I said when he took the cup away.
"No," he said. "You're supposed to be resting. And it's no use giving me the 'scary grunt' scowl either."
"How long have I been out?"
"Nearly thirty-six hours. You're still heavily drugged."
"No shit," I said weakly. "Ilyan, we can't stay here too long." They'd come after him again, we had to keep moving.
"The faked IDs and orders are still
fooling them." He bent close, said it quietly.
"Can't take a chance on that," I whispered. "If someone checks them out too close--"
"As soon as you're strong enough we'll move." He dabbed my forehead with a cloth.
"Don't wait." I insisted. "Go without me." He stared at me, at first astonished and then angry. His voice became a soft hiss.
"What kind of man do you think I am, Jadeth?"
"What?"
"Shut up. You're supposed to be resting." He scowled at me, his face flushed. "I will not leave you, Jadeth." He put his hand over mine, stroked it gently with his thumb. "I will not leave you."
Then he sat up, the heat burning off his face like morning mist. His smile reappeared.
"It feels quite enjoyable to boss you around for a change." I didn't feel like responding to the teasing in his tone.
"You're important." I said. Dead serious. "You have to survive."
"And my best chance of surviving is sticking close to you."
I couldn't answer that. Just lay looking back at him.
"So," Ilyan said after a moment, letting go of my hand and bending close, to dab the cloth around my face again. "The three intruders had no ID, but from their equipment Maiga has concluded they were a Special Ops squad."
"Yeah?" I wanted to ask if she had any other hot news from the department of the bleeding obvious, but refrained.
"They could have been tracking us for some time. As soon as you are well enough to move we plan to get off this world."
"And go where?"
"Kitsnujitar."
I gasped and hissed, "That's hostile territory!"
"Jadeth, you just had an armour piercing round taken out of your abdomen. Everywhere is hostile territory. And…" He looked around at the beds and the medics moving around. He didn't speak, but I guessed his thoughts. Any man or woman not part of our group could be an enemy.
It hit me then. I'd been so focused on Ilyan back there, on keeping him safe. So what I'd done hadn't really made a dent on my consciousness until now.
I killed a man.
Two of them. Humans. I never killed another human before. Never needed to. Humans are all on the same side. We don't kill each other. That's stupid.
They were assassins, murderers. Not real soldiers. They came to kill Ilyan. And then Tesla would have been next and the rest of us one by one.
"Jadeth? Are you all right?"
I dragged my attention back to Ilyan and his concerned face.
