by CJ Birch
I turn to Hartley. He’s picked one of the leaves and is examining the underside and stem. He rubs it and a faint green glow begins to emanate.
“Do you know which way it is back to the ship?”
He nods without looking at me. “Yeah.” He points behind him. “It’s that way about seven or eight kilometers. Did you guys see these? They must have luciferin.” He sniffs the leaf. “Or some other chemical in the veins that helps produce bioluminescence. I’ve seen it in certain fungi, but nothing like this.” And like that he’s lost in his own world, pulling the leaf apart and rubbing the substance between his fingers. He hands one to Mani and they begin breaking leaves and squeezing out the veins.
We’ve stopped in a small indentation surrounded by fallen logs and glowing bushes. The ground beneath us is soft, covered in a light green moss. I run my hands over the surface. It’s like fur, thick and velvety.
“How’s your head?” Sarka starts to lift my hair to look, but I brush him away. “You should have that nurse take a look at it.”
“What happened to your head?” Ash asks.
“You should see what they did to her face,” says Foer.
I stand and glare at Fossick, who’s made himself comfortable on the spongy ground, pulling at the moss.
“What did they do to your face?” Ash pulls out a light, but I grab her wrist before she can raise it.
“It’s fine. Let’s get out of here. The longer we stand around yakking about inconsequential things, the longer we’re at risk.”
Fossick pushes himself off the moss. Before we move any further, a deafening squeal rips from the ground beneath us. With a loud growl, the forest floor begins to shake.
“What the fuck is that?” asks Fossick.
As the ground rises up, I lose my balance and fall flat on my ass. We all come to the same realization. It’s not moss we’ve been standing on, but some sort of creature that’s now awake and angry. Or hungry.
“Run!” I yell.
Ash grabs my wrist and yanks me to my feet. We half run, half slide down the slope of the creature. When my feet hit hard earth, earth that isn’t moving, I know we’ve cleared its back. Ash keeps hold of my wrist as we scramble through the brush, clawing over debris and fallen trees. Her nails dig into my skin. Leaves and branches scrape at my arms and face.
“Be glad we only have to be faster than Fossick,” Ash says. From the tone in her voice it sounds like she might actually be having fun with this.
“Why’s that?” My pulse and breath are at odds. I for one, am not enjoying this. I can already feel mucus forming in my mouth and my legs are ready to collapse.
“He’s the slowest.”
“Who says it’s going to stop once it picks Fossick off? Ever see a video of whale eating krill?” It’s with effort I even manage to get that last sentence out. It comes out all breathy and stilted.
“Good point.” Ash speeds up, her grip never easing as she pulls me through the forest.
At least it doesn’t matter how much noise we’re making now. The loud screeches from the creature drown us out. For the first couple of minutes, the crashes and snaps of the others are close behind. But after a while they become faint.
I try to pull free of Ash’s grip. “We need to stop.” I pant. “The others.” I cough and sputter. “We need to stick together.”
But that’s the last thing either of us gets out before the ground slopes and we tumble forward. Instinctively, I tuck into a tight ball, careening down the hill. We land at the bottom in a heap of scrapes, bruises, and heavy breathing.
“Christ, that hurt.” My ribs are screaming at me. I don’t even want to see how that last spill added to the bruises already mottling my torso. I lie there for a good while, in what seems to be a tiny valley, staring at the expanse of stars overhead.
“Huh.” Ash, too, is lying flat on her back watching the sky.
“You okay?”
Her face glows in the light of the moons. She has a smile so wide I’m worried she might have whacked her head a little too hard. “That was something different. I’ve never run from a live animal before.” It’s the first time in ages she’s sounded like the woman I met at the start of this mission, full of excitement and wonder.
I can’t take my eyes off her. While she stares up at the canopy, lips parted, eyes scanning the leaves, I memorize her face. A breeze parts the branches high above us and a soft blue glow filters down. It highlights her hair, making the auburn appear silver in the light and copper in the shadows. Her skin is so pale it almost shines and her lashes stand stark, framing dark eyes.
“What about you?”
I know what she’s actually asking. Am I having fun? I’m not. This is not fun. I can’t bring myself to validate her feelings so I take the question at face value. “Sure. I grew up on a farm, remember? I’d much rather Janice, our dairy cow, chasing after us than that thing.”
Some time later, she asks, “How’s it been with Sarka?”
I’m surprised at first. I thought she’d fallen asleep. I still don’t know what he did to her and my imagination has been eating away at me. It’s such a contrast to think of the two sides of him. The one, I see as my father and the other, the leader of the Burrs.
“He’s been protective, which is strange.”
“And that bothers you?” When I nod, she asks why.
“Because he doesn’t have the right to care. We’re related, but he’s not my father.” Even as I say the words, I know they’re not true. There was a time when he was. It may have been a very long time ago, but there was a time when I never doubted his love for me. Was that the naïveté of a child?
Ash shrugs. “When it comes to family, it’s complicated. I’ve always kind of resented my dad because of who he is.” She snorts. “I even use my mother’s maiden name so no one knows we’re related. But I can’t deny that I still want his approval. It’s stupid, but I still care what he thinks.”
“Well, I don’t care what Sarka thinks about my decisions or choices.” Is that true? “If circumstances were different, he’d be in prison, not frolicking through the jungle with my crew.”
Ash laughs loudly and it guts me. How can she so easily push everything that’s happened aside and find humor in our situation? “Sorry. I had a mental picture of Sarka skipping through the forest. It’s…” Her face falls and she stops laughing. “It’s a better way of thinking about him.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“It may help.”
“It won’t help. It’ll make me relive it over again. And I never want to do that. If you’re worried that he—. You don’t need to. He never touched me like that.” She sits up and hugs her knees, turning her head away from me. “The way I see it, it was a test I had to pass. And I did. Now I never have to wonder if I have the guts to hold onto my convictions.” Her voice is soft and faint.
The humidity hasn’t lessened. If anything, it’s gotten worse since the sun set. It feels like I’m sitting in a giant vat of my own sweat. I pull the top of my enviro-suit down. I have no idea what time it is, but as soon as it gets light, I want to head back to the ship. From there we can arrange search parties.
Ash stands. She drags a large fallen branch over to us and begins to hack off the leaves. “As soon as it gets light we should start looking for the others,” she says.
“No. We need to get back to the ship as soon as possible. Sarka will have one plan, and that’s it. He won’t give a shit about anyone else. And if he makes it back first, he’ll leave us all behind.”
“Do you know which way it is?”
As she says it, my heart sinks. I have no idea where we are in relation to the Persephone. And then another bigger question pops into my mind. “How did you find us?”
She turns, giving me a hard long stare. “Let’s just say the doctor helped out with that.”
The trackers. I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I’m not. They proved more than worth the mo
ral dilemma. “Do the others know?”
“No, and I’m not going to tell them.” Ash drops a pile of leaves next to me. “What were you thinking?”
“I’ve already gotten a lecture from the doctor, I don’t need one from you as well. And seeing as how I’m the captain—even if people keep forgetting—I get the last say.”
“What does that mean? ‘People keep forgetting?’”
I scrape the leaves into a pile and lay down, resting my head on the crunchy pile. “Never mind.” The ground isn’t too bad; the tall grass adds an extra cushioned layer. I take a deep breath and ease my bruised ribs down. “Let’s get some sleep.”
I close my eyes, listening to the cacophony of evening animals. How did this expedition go so wrong, so fast?
Chapter Sixteen
With the morning, comes a concert of birdsong. There must be thousands of them, the din is so loud. Nature’s alarm clock. There are low baritones and high sopranos. Even a few warblers with calls so intricate they could pass for human vocals.
I sit up too fast and my ribs ache in protest. I’m debating whether I want to see what my abdomen looks like or if it’s better to stay ignorant. Ash, who’s sitting a few feet in front of me watching the sun rise through a hole in the canopy, turns around. Her mouth drops.
I rub my face. Patches of dirt flake off in my hands. The remnants of yesterday’s provisional sunscreen still coat my face and arms. The first thing I’m going to do when we get back to the ship is take a long, hot shower and wash all this grime away. I must look like a swamp monster.
“Your face.” She slides over and kneels in front of me, taking my chin. She turns my head to the side. The bruise must be larger and darker than I realized. Her fingers graze my cheekbone, tracing the length. I pull away, distancing myself. I’m all too aware of my body’s reaction.
“It’s nothing. We should go.” But as soon as I try to stand up, I suck in a sharp breath and sink back to the ground. Christ, that hurt.
“What’s wrong?”
Before I can deflect, Ash unzips my enviro-suit, reaches in, and pulls up my shirt. We both gasp at the deep scratch running along my torso from when I fell. In one spot, I can see the faint outline of the avian’s footwear.
“Lay back. I’m going to check if you broke anything.”
“I’ve broken a rib before. They’re only bruised.” I take a few breaths to steel myself and then in one quick move, push myself off the ground.
Standing is better. It hurts less. I zip my suit. The morning air is already thick with humidity, but my suit feels like a shield of sorts. I feel like I’d be revealing more than skin if I removed my enviro-suit. Exposed somehow. I’m embarrassed I let it happen, and every bruise and scratch is proof.
But I only make it twenty minutes before the insulating nature of the suit begins to boil my skin. We’re headed back into the deep forest, both not sure of the correct direction, but it’s important we keep moving. If we can find some of the others, even better.
Another thirty minutes and I unzip the collar. My drenched shirt clings to my breasts and torso. Rivulets of sweat stream down my chest and back, pooling at the waistband of my shorts.
Ash has shed her enviro-suit, choosing to trudge through the forest in boots, a shirt and skin tight shorts. She carries the suit over one shoulder.
I wish we could contact the ship and check in, but unfortunately, that’s not an option. The comms unit is in the helmet, and we left all of them back at the ship. They’re for space walks, not nature hikes, which is why they’re so stifling. I pull at the open front, trying to flap some air into the suit.
Ash turns back in disgust. “You’re making it hotter just looking at you in that.” She stops, running her eyes down the length of me. “What’s the point of making it back to the ship if you’re going to drop from heat exhaustion before we get there?” She smirks. “Honestly, Jordan. You don’t strike me as the modest type. But if it’ll make you feel better, I promise not to look.”
I roll my eyes. But I do unzip my suit and peel it off. Ash helps me with my boots so I can tug the pant legs off. The air, when it hits my skin, feels fresh. I sigh in relief as the fire begins to cool. Ash stares at me, eyes growing narrower as they rake over all my cuts and bruises. Her eyes stop on my forearm, lingering at the finger marks.
“What the hell happened to you? Why does no one else look like they staggered into trees lined with broken glass?” She stands, pulling my attention to her. “And don’t tell me, it’s nothing.”
My skin prickles. The sun has risen above the tree line. Even under the canopy, the humidity is like warm bath water. Every inch of me is sweating. Both the situation and conversation make me uncomfortable. And I have no doubt she’ll dog me until she gets an answer.
“I offended their leader.” It’s simple, yet truthful.
“How?”
I shrug and start walking in the direction I hope Hartley pointed to yesterday. Why couldn’t I have gotten separated with him? At least he would’ve ignored me in favor of the local flora. And I could be certain we were heading in the right direction.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to tell me.”
“There’s nothing more to tell. I don’t speak their language so I can’t be a hundred percent certain. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with being female.”
“You’re joking.”
“I wish.”
We walk in silence for the next kilometer or so. My thoughts turn through my next plan. Moving forward is the only way to deal with it, to stay ahead of the turmoil. If we don’t meet up with anyone or come to the edge of the forest soon, we’re going to have to reevaluate. Our best bet is to find high ground or see if there’s a tree we can climb. If we can get above the canopy, maybe we’ll spot the ship or the mountains in the distance.
I stop and look at the height of the trees in front of me. They start big and taper to a point at the top. It could be they get very thin, or it could be that they’re so high they only look tiny on top. From the cavernous feel of the jungle, I’m going to guess the latter. There’s no way we can climb high enough.
Ash steps next to me and hands me a ration bar from her pouch. “So, are we going to talk about why you felt it necessary to implant trackers in the entire crew and not tell anyone? Dr. Prashad wouldn’t even tell me why you did it.”
I take a bite of my bar. It’s hard as wood and doesn’t taste much better, but it’s food and my stomach isn’t picky right now.
“Don’t think we’re not going to talk about it because I let it drop last night.”
“I don’t have to justify my decisions to you.”
“You’re right. You don’t. But when I signed on, you said that the only way this crew was going to work well together is if we did it as a team. And not only that, we had to think of ourselves as family. Going behind everyone’s back and implanting trackers is not thinking like a family or a team. It’s a serious ethics violation. I’m surprised you’d do it. Even more surprised Dr. Prashad went along with it. What’s next? Mind knots?”
I crumple up my wrapper and shove it in my enviro-suit pocket. “What I did isn’t even close to that. I had a good reason. It saved lives.” I continue walking. It doesn’t even matter which direction, we’re so lost. For all I know we could be heading back toward the pyramid and the avians.
“You don’t think the people who invented those mind knots in the first place said the same thing? It’s for their own safety. Just think, if we can monitor them while they’re in battle, we can send reinforcements. We can evacuate them faster.”
I grit my teeth and keep walking. I’m mortified that she would think this is anywhere near the same thing. The trackers are harmless and temporary. They wash out of your system after a few weeks. And we can’t control anyone with them. They were there to make sure she stayed safe.
When I saw her in the mess, trussed up, something inside me broke. And I can lie to Prashad, but I can’t lie to myself
. I couldn’t bare to see Ash hurt anymore. It was the only way I could keep her safe. I would do it again if it got the same result. But that answer goes against who I am and everything I stand for. To act so unprofessional and yes, selfish, to benefit one person is so out of character for me.
“I don’t have an answer for you. Not if you want me to be truthful.”
She stops dead. “That’s crap and you know it.” Even the forest has stopped to hear my response, all birds and bugs have ceased in that moment. She purses her lips. The deep green of her eyes shimmers in the muted light. She’s got that fierce look she gets when her mind is set on one goal. There will be no winning this argument. So I do the next best thing, I give up.
“It’s done. And I stick by it.” Even if it wasn’t needed in the end. I needed it. It was a safety net, knowing she was safe gave me peace of mind.
“I know why you thought you needed to do it. But I could’ve handled it myself.”
Christ, I want to smack her sometimes. It’s this attitude that she’s invincible that drives me mad.
“This is why.” She takes my hand. “There are always consequences.”
I nod. It’s too damn hard to distance myself. And I knew that going in. In fact, I went in eyes wide open, knowing it would hurt like hell coming out the other side. But I was too weak. At the time, I didn’t care about consequences. And now I’m left with the burn of it.
I pull my hand free and continue forward.
By midday, I know we’re heading in the wrong direction. It’s all new. We’ve entered an area of the forest where everything is pink. The trees and undergrowth are coated in some strange fungus. I halt Ash, scanning the trees for any sort of leverage to get higher up.
Ash follows my gaze. “What are you thinking?”
“We need to get an overview of the area, figure out which direction to take.”
Ash bends to inspect some of the pink fungus. Before she can reach out and touch some, I grab her wrist and pull her back. “For all we know, it could cause necrosis.”
