by Mason, Dana
“You either let me contact Richard or I’m building you a profile on a dating website.”
“Absolutely no dating website.” With a bob of my head, I waver on the rest. “Fine. If you want to hire Richard, do it, but I don’t want to know anything about it. Keep me completely out of the loop, okay?”
When my eyes pop back up to hers, she’s smiling from ear to ear. “Okay. It’s a deal.” She slides a piece of paper toward me. “Write down what you know about him, and I’ll get the rest.”
I can’t believe I’ve agreed to this. I write everything I remember about Drew, including the names of his roommates. I also mention that he spends the same three weeks in Maui every year. Once I have it all down, she takes the information but doesn’t get up to leave my office.
“Now, what are we going to do about Grant?”
I roll my eyes and groan. “I guess I just need to be clear with him. What choice do I have?”
“The longer you delay, the worse it’ll be.”
“I know. He’s just so pushy, and he doesn’t seem to hear me when I speak. He has, like, selective hearing.”
Rebecca sits up straighter. “Em, you need to be frank with him.”
“I know. I’ll do it tomorrow. It’s just weird that he can’t take the hint. I only had dinner with him twice. I can’t believe he’s going around telling people we’re in a relationship. Jesus, it’s been weeks. He can’t still believe I’m interested.”
“Have you talked to him at all since you’ve been back?”
“Yeah, we’ve had a couple of brief conversations, but I keep putting him off.”
“Tomorrow, then. We need to get the work done on this building.”
“Agreed.”
Bec gives me a firm nod and leaves my office. Standing up, I walk over to the window and look down on the street. City noise drifts up from below. I hear a car door slam and the bass bump of a car stereo. The tree-lined street is well shaded, but I can feel the Sacramento heat seeping in through the glass.
I’m in the right place. I’m where I want to be. I like the slower pace. Working for myself, alongside Rebecca, and getting to choose my clients and cases is a dream come true. So, why don’t I feel happy? Why do I feel like something’s missing?
I glance down at my watch. Six o’clock. Time to head home, to my empty house. Inwardly, I groan. Just as this thought lingers through my head, Bec peeks back into my office. “Drinks?”
I turn toward the sound of her voice. “Nah, go ahead without me. My stomach’s been bothering me too much lately to drink.”
She frowns and looks me up and down. “How about a good healthy dinner?”
“Hum… maybe. What did you have in mind?”
“Let’s see… healthy. How about Sinclair’s? They only serve locally sourced, organic food.” Her voice sounds like the commercial and I have to laugh at her.
“That sounds very boring and probably just what I need.”
Before I can grab my purse, Eddie, our office manager, steps into my office.
“Hey, Emily, Grant Russell is on the phone. He wants me to confirm a nine am meeting tomorrow with someone from DK Construction and the two of you.”
“Confirm it!” I smile and say, “We’re all getting new offices.” When Eddie turns to leave, I stop him. “Hey, Eddie, please make sure we have pastries and coffee before the nine am.”
He winks at me and does a little spin as he steps out of my office. As Rebecca and I descend the stairs, I can hear him on the phone with Grant.
“Mr. Russell, you’re confirmed for tomorrow.” There’s a pause, and then he says, “Yes, sir, she’s been swamped since returning from her business trip, but I got a firm confirmation from Ms. Baldwin. Okay, that’s great. We’ll see you in the morning.”
On the way out, I stop at Eddie’s desk and say, “Thank you, darling. I owe you one.”
He grins. “That’s what I’m here for.”
With a final wave, Rebecca and I head to dinner.
When we enter Sinclair’s, I look around at the crowd. For a Tuesday, it’s pretty busy.
“Do you look for him?” Bec asks over the murmur of the crowd.
I shift my focus back to her. “Look for who?”
She lifts her dark sunglasses from her face to the top of her head. “Your guy––Drew?”
The question surprises me. “Why would I look for him? Do you know what the chances are he’s from Sacramento?”
With a flick of her wrist, she waves away my question. “I’m sure they’re astronomical, but do you look for him anyway?”
I shake my head. “No. It never occurred to me that he could live here. Honestly.”
“When you imagine him living somewhere, you know, in your head, what do you see?”
“I try not to think about it.” I stop talking when the hostess calls us for our table. Once we’re seated, I say, “I tried to guess with him. His first flight out of Hawaii stopped at LAX, but he said it was just a stopover.”
“Oh, but that’s something.” She opens her menu. “It could have been a stopover to Sacramento. Maybe even San Francisco.”
The words San Francisco ring a bell with me. I narrow my eyes to focus, trying to remember. Why does that stand out in my head? Closing my eyes, I try to recall conversations we had, even the first in the hall outside our rooms. I snort a little when I remember how I thought he was the maintenance man. He just looked so at home in his ball cap and flip-flops. My eyes pop open.
“What about San Francisco?”
“What about it?”
“The first time I saw him, he was wearing a San Francisco Giants ball cap.”
Her eyes grow wide. “That’s not too far, is it?”
I frown at her. “Isn’t it?”
“It’s a ninety-minute drive.” She closes her menu. “It’s like, what? Less than a hundred miles.” She lifts her water glass and then blurts, “Also, the entire Bay Area is full of Giants fans. It doesn’t necessarily mean San Francisco. Hell, half the state loves the Giants.”
I get a flutter in my stomach at the thought, but I know it’s ridiculous to hope for something like that. “True. I guess that’s something you can add to your list of things I already know about him.”
“I’m calling Richard after our meeting tomorrow. Should we set some parameters?”
“Like what? Distance?”
“To start.”
We both order when the waitress approaches the table again, but I’m not in the mood for much. I’ve had zero appetite since returning from Hawaii. After I order the wild arugula salad, a bowl of soup, and a glass of ice water, I get a funny look from Bec.
“Seriously, no drink?”
“No. I’m trying to cut back, and I’m really not feeling myself the last week or so.”
“Why’s that?” She anchors her gaze on me. “Besides that first night, did you drink a lot in Maui?”
I shrug, afraid to give her an honest answer.
“Is that a yes?”
I shake my head. “Not too bad until the last two days.”
“Oh, so you drank a lot after he left?” She crosses her arms in front of her. “I guess you’re feeling a little guilty about that now, so you’re taking a break?”
“Maybe. Really though, I haven’t been feeling good. I think I’m fighting some flu.”
She giggles. “Yeah, the heartbreak flu.”
I laugh too, but it’s not funny. “I just don’t remember ever feeling so tired and I’d love to blame my state of mind, but I’ve been through horrible times, and even then I didn’t feel so lethargic.”
“What else? You mentioned your stomach.”
“Yeah, I’ve been nauseous a lot the last few days. I don’t have much of an appetite.”
She slaps a hand on the table and guffaws. “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if you were pregnant?”
I feel the heat drain from my face. “Hell no. That wouldn’t be funny at all. Don’t even say that out loud.”
&
nbsp; This just makes her laugh harder. “You guys were safe, right? I mean, it’s not like you could be pregnant. Didn’t you and Tucker try for a few years and nothing?”
My stomach plummets at the reminder and my heart races at the thought. Surely I couldn’t be. God wouldn’t be that cruel to me. “No. We didn’t really. Tucker wanted to, but I wasn’t ready. I wanted to work on my career first.”
The laughter dies, and she gives me a serious look. “You did use protection, right?”
“Of course we did!” I rest my head in my hands. My mind is spinning, and I feel like I want to throw up. “Please, God. Please let this be the flu.”
“Oh, my God, Emily, I was kidding.” She leans forward and says, “You don’t think you could be, do you?”
“I don’t know, Bec, but anything’s possible. It’s only been a couple of weeks. Would I already be showing symptoms?”
“Fuck if I know. I’ve never been pregnant.”
“Okay. Okay. Stop.” I take a deep breath and pull my phone from my purse. “I’ll just Google it.”
“Emily, exactly how long has it been since the first time you guys slept together?”
“It was Tuesday. Hold on, I’m still Googling.”
I hear a slight giggle. “That’s right, you guys didn’t waste any time.” I glance up at her, and she’s got her phone out too. “Tuesday? That’s four weeks ago today!”
“Google says women usually don’t get the first signs until their period is late, but for some women, early signs can come within weeks of fertilization.”
“Emily, did you hear what I just said? It’s been four solid weeks since you first slept with Drew. Holy fuck, Emily, you’re pregnant!”
“Shut the hell up,” I hiss.
She starts giggling, and I want to punch her. “This isn’t funny. Why are you laughing?”
“I’m sorry, I’m just in shock.” She inhales to fight her laughter. “It’s been four weeks… if you haven’t had a period, you’re late.”
I feel my face get hot and I want to cry. This can’t be happening. This cannot be happening. “Bec, this can’t be happening.”
She drops her hand and reaches out for mine. “Emily, honey. Oh my God.”
“Don’t. We don’t know for sure. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
“Let’s go buy a test. Right now.”
I shake my head vigorously. “I’ll probably start in a day or two. It’s just PMS.”
“Denial isn’t a reliable form of birth control, you know. Don’t you think you’ll feel better once you know for sure?”
“No, Bec. I’m not ready.” I brace my head in my palms. “What am I going to tell my mother… shit, everyone?” I close my eyes. “Gee, Mom, I’m pregnant, and I don’t know who the father is.”
“That’s not fair. You know who the father is. It’s not like you’ve been with more than one person.”
I scoff at her. “Do you think ‘I don’t know the father’ is better than ‘I don’t know who the father is’?”
She beams at me, and I know it’s because she can’t help it. Of course, she’s excited, she’s not the one in trouble. I can’t believe this. I just can’t believe I let this happen.
“Should we get back to those parameters for my search for Drew?” she says with a snarky tone.
“I’m sorry, but I need to go throw up now.” I rest my face in my hands and mumble, “Am I really destined to be a single parent—to be just like my mother?”
“Oh, hon.” Her eyebrows draw together and her lips purse into a frown. “Regardless of Drew, you won’t be alone. I’ll be here every day. You have Mac and Kelley, your mom, and Eddie. It’ll be okay, Em. Besides that, your mother was single by choice. She could’ve moved on from your dad, but she chose not to. It’s not the same. Your parents made a choice.”
I think about that and feel even worse. I didn’t want to do this backwards. I had a plan: marry my soulmate, build my career, then have a family with him. Nothing is going according to that plan. I wanted to be better than my parents—who never married because my dad didn’t believe in marriage. He travelled so much we never saw him and then he died, and my mom is still alone.
“It’s true. I’m turning into my mother.”
“No, you’re not, but even if you did, she’s amazing.”
“And alone, Bec.”
“Emily, stop. You’re not your parents.” Her head wags back and forth. “You’re getting yourself worked up and we’re not even sure you’re pregnant. We could be jumping the gun.”
I exhale slowly. “You’re right. No panicking until we’re sure.”
“I’ll give you until Friday. But if you don’t start your period, you have a date with a pregnancy test. Until then, remain calm.”
Easier said than done. I’d love to say I’m not worrying, but my insides are in knots. What am I going to do if I’m pregnant? How can I bring a child into this world without a father and how will I live with myself if I can’t find him? And what about him? What is he going to think when I do find him? He’s a single guy living in a shared house with roommates. He’s not interested in being a father…is he?
Sixteen
Drew
“I gotta go, guys. Be good for Celia, okay?” I say, looking toward the babysitter.
“Bye, Daddy.” I bend down so Hannah can wrap her arms around my neck, and at the same time, I lift her off her feet and spin her around.
“Listen, Celia is going to drop you off at Nanna’s later. Behave yourselves this week, okay?”
“Are we spending the night at Nanna’s?” Kyle asks.
“Yeah, I told you this. Nanna is taking you down to Santa Cruz with Aunt Jennie.” I set Hannah down on her feet and lean over, so I’m eye to eye with Kyle. “Celia is going to help you guys get packed up, and you’re leaving with Nanna this evening before I get home. Don’t forget your swimsuit and please be helpful, okay?”
“Oh!” Kyle jumps up, and his eyes widen. “Dad, can I surf?”
“No, sorry. Not this time.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Why not?”
“Because Nanna can’t surf with you and you can’t do it by yourself. It was different when you were in LA––you had Gramps and Uncle Milo with you and a surf instructor.”
“So, come with us then. You can surf with me.”
“I can’t this time. I’m starting a new remodel job this week.”
He slaps his hands down at his sides. “But, Dad!”
“Kyle, stop. You’re not surfing.”
He ducks his head. “Okay, gosh.”
“I’ll call you before you leave for Santa Cruz, okay? Don’t be pouty with Celia just because you’re mad at me.”
He snickers. “You said pouty.”
I chuckle too and spread my arms out for a hug. He lifts up and wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. “Sorry, Dad.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I love you. Have fun.”
“I will… At least I can swim.”
I glance over at Hannah and say, “You guys are going to have so much fun.”
She starts hopping up and down like a flea. “If Aunt Jennie is coming, are Amy and Connor coming with us too?”
“Yes, your cousins are going with you guys.” I plant a kiss on her forehead when she calms down. “Now I’m late. I’ll see you guys on Saturday morning. We’ll have breakfast, okay?”
“Bye, Daddy.”
I glance at Celia and nod toward the door. Once we’re outside, I say to her, “I really need to go, but I’ll call you later about the packing. You can also call my mom. Her number’s on—”
“On the fridge. I know, Mr. Whitney. Don’t worry about us.”
“Thank you so much, really.”
“No problem. Oh, but hey, can I go with you to the school fair? I’d like to get familiar with the school since I’ll be dropping off and picking up this year.”
“Absolutely. I’ll call you when I know what time we’re leaving, or feel welcom
e to come by Mom’s on Saturday morning and have breakfast with us.”
“Great! Thank you for the invite. I’ll see you then.”
“Okay, gotta go.”
I rush to my truck as I’m flipping through my phone for the address. Once I find it, I plug it into my maps app for the directions. With morning traffic, it’s a twenty-minute drive. That’s going to make me about five minutes late, damn.
When I turn down the street, in the center of Mansion Flats, I’m taken by how different every building is in this area. It’s zoned for business, so many of the older homes have been converted into offices. In between the older-style buildings are more modern homes, apartment blocks, and even some mid-century buildings mixed in. There’s a beautiful old Victorian down on the left that I used to drive by all the time. I follow the numbers until I’m in front of that very building. No way. I’m excited now and my heart’s racing. I didn’t even know this place had been sold. I’m excited I get to work on it. I hope they want to restore it.
I park on the street and look around at the front. There’s a beat-up old wheelchair lift next to the front steps that needs to be updated but at least there’s accessibility. As I’m inspecting the railing and the steps, I hear Grant’s voice.
“Drew, hey, I didn’t realize you were here. What’s up?”
I turn and stick my hand out to shake his. “Grant, good to see you.” I throw a thumb over my shoulder. “I love this old place. I’m glad to see it get updated.”
“It’s great, isn’t it? How about that original stain glass? Gorgeous.”
“Are they keeping it residential?”
“No, no. Law firm. So, you haven’t met Emily or Rebecca yet?”
My ears perk up when I hear the name. “Excuse me, did you say Emily?”
“Yes. Emily Tucker and Rebecca Baldwin bought the building. They left Tate, Brown, and McKennon to start their own law firm.”
I feel the dip in my stomach. It takes me a minute to absorb what he just said. Tucker, not Thomas. When I get my thoughts together, I say, “That’s ambitious, but it seems like a small job for your group.”
