Shortly after the departure of Mr Fielding, Helen Frances returned to stay with them. She had surprised everyone by suddenly taking up the old invitation to work in the hospital. This delighted the children at first, but it did not take them long to realise that Helen Frances had changed in an undefinable way.
She was still kind and good-natured, and smiled at them dreamily when she saw them—but she did not romp and play with them as she used to. There was something distant about her. In the evenings, after work, she would sit for hours at a time, with an unread magazine dangling from her hands, gazing into space. She no longer rode horses, or took any exercise. Tom and her father would sometimes visit, but she did not look excited to see them and her smiles, when she talked to them, seemed forced. Mr Manners never came to see her, and that perhaps disappointed the children most of all.
What was very strange was that her physical appearance had altered. The children remembered her as a ruddy, healthy girl, full of energy and spirit. Now, her cheeks were pale, and there were blue shadows under her eyes. In some ways she appeared more beautiful than ever—her hair burned a brighter red against the whiteness of her skin, her green eyes were somehow even more lustrous than before, though they shone with a sad, pale fire, unlike the infectious brilliance the children remembered. There was a languor about her, however. It was as if she was drained of energy.
‘It can’t all be tiredness,’ said George one day, after she had gently declined to play the hoop with them in the yard. ‘Mummy and Sister Elena never look tired after working in the hospital.’
‘She’s still new,’ said Jenny. ‘Maybe she’s not used to it yet. And it is gloomy, working with those awful opium addicts. I wonder why she chose them anyway. She spends hours there.’
‘Don’t know. They give me the spooks, those addicts, wandering round with their shining eyes and their ribs showing, bumping into things or sitting on their beds like ghosts. Sister Elena said Helen Frances specially volunteered for the opium ward. She told Daddy she didn’t want to work anywhere else.’
‘Do you know what I think?’ asked Jenny. ‘I think she’s suffering from a broken heart and that’s why she wants to be with miserable people all day.’
‘Oh, no,’ groaned George. ‘Not more boring love-affair talk about Mr Manners. Look, Jen, I promised to stop going on about the fox fairy. Why don’t you put a brace on all that love rot? She’s marrying Tom.’
‘She’s getting so pale she does look a bit like a fox fairy now,’ said his sister reflectively. ‘Anyway, I think they were in love. We saw their legs and feet touching under the table last autumn, didn’t we? Didn’t we?’
‘Shut up, Jen. You really are boring. She’s marrying Tom.’
And there the exchange ended, with Jenny sticking out her tongue at George and George chasing Jenny across the yard and pulling her hair. Two nights later, however, they heard a conversation that turned their childish banter into something altogether more serious.
It was the occasion when Tom and Helen Frances’s father had come round for dinner. It was their last evening in Shishan before setting off on another expedition to Tsitsihar. The children had looked forward to this dinner for a week. Nowadays their parents never mentioned the Boxers at table and sitting under it every night had become dull. Once they had fallen asleep and woken up with a start to find all the lamps turned down and everyone already abed. The flit through the dark house had been scary. Tonight, however, Mr Delamere was coming and he always had interesting stories to tell.
They were nearly caught on their way to the dining room. Helen Frances was standing alone in the hall, looking at herself in the mirror. She was so absorbed in her own reflection that she did not notice the scuffle as the children backtracked along the corridor. There they stood in the shadows, wondering. They could hear the voices from the sitting room and were curious as to why Helen Frances was not with the others. They watched as she closed her eyes and silently leaned her forehead against the mirror. There was the saddest expression on her face. Then she straightened her shoulders and moved wearily towards the sitting room. At the door she paused, setting her face into a smile before going through the door. They heard the boom of her father’s voice greeting her, and her voice trilling in reply. The subsequent general murmur hid the patter of children’s feet as they rushed into the dining room and under the tablecloth, just in time. It was only a moment after they settled that Ah Lee came in and began to lay out the soup plates.
It was a cheery meal for a change. Mr Delamere was on good form, boasting about the fortune he and Tom would make when they sold the soap to their new customer, Mr Ding, in Inner Mongolia. They were going there with eight carts and ten armed guards.
‘Of course there’re no secrets with you fellows,’ Mr Delamere added confidentially, ‘but actually we’ve had to be pretty close about this trip. My partner Lu suspects that one of the other merchants is in league with Iron Man Wang. I’m not meant to say who, Airton, but let’s say it’s a respectable general trader we both know.’ He dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘Jin Shangui,’ he hissed. ‘He lets Wang know when the shipments are taking place so the bandits can ambush us.’
‘My dear Delamere, if it’s a secret, you shouldn’t be telling me,’ said the doctor. ‘Anyway, I don’t for a moment believe you. I’ve known Jin for years.’
‘To be truthful I was a little surprised too,’ said Frank, ‘but Lu’s pretty sure of it. Course, we all remain chummy on the surface—but we don’t tell Jin what we’re doing any more, or we spin him a yarn sometimes to put him off the track. Quite the secret agents nowadays, aren’t we, Tom?’
Tom did not reply. He and Helen Frances had hardly said a word all meal.
‘I don’t understand all this talk of secrets and merchants,’ said their mother, from the head of the table, ‘but I’ve heard of Iron Man Wang. Mr Delamere, I hope you and young Tom are going to be careful on this great adventure of yours. Bandits are menace enough, but with all these rumours of Boxers threatening harm to God-fearing people as well, I for one get worried.’
‘You don’t have to worry about Boxers,’ laughed Mr Delamere. ‘They won’t come this far north. At least, they haven’t done so yet. And we’ve faced Iron Man Wang’s boys before, haven’t we, Tom? Or, rather, you did, you brave fellow. Mind you, it’ll be interesting on the way back from Tsitsihar when we’re loaded up with all the silver we’re getting for the alkali. Helen Frances, my dear, you didn’t know that your fiancé and your papa are going to be rich, did you? I expect the board of directors of Babbit and Brenner will vote their hardworking sons of the soil a substantial commission when they hear of the profit we’ll be making for them this time. Have you ever seen a wagon loaded with silver, Doctor? It’s a beautiful sight. That’s why we’re taking the armed guards. Not for the outward journey, but for the return.’
‘I think you ought to be more discreet, Papa,’ said Helen Frances, breaking her silence for the first time.
‘Nonsense, girl,’ said Mr Delamere, helping himself to crème caramel proffered on a tray by Ah Lee. ‘It’s all in the family here. Who could be eavesdropping at the Airtons?’ The children saw his heavy torso turn in his daughter’s direction. ‘You’re a bit pale, chicken,’ he said to her. ‘Have you been unwell? Or are you sad to see your old father go off on a trip again?’
‘She won’t be pining for you, Delamere. It’s young Cabot she’ll be missing,’ said Airton jovially.
‘Yes, now you mention it, we haven’t had a word out of Tom all evening either. What a gloomy pair they are. Glad my old skin’s too thick for Cupid’s darts. They look miserable the both of them. Parting is such sweet sorrow, eh?’
‘I was wondering if it would be impertinent to ask,’ the doctor cleared his throat, ‘if a date had been fixed for the wedding?’
‘Yes, Tom,’ the children’s mother said. ‘It’s a pleasure having dear Helen Frances staying and we do value her help in the infirmary, but we wonder from time to time wh
at your ultimate plans are. I daresay she’s been missing you immensely. She’s lately been very quiet, and I agree with you, Mr Delamere, she has looked a little off-colour.’
The children noticed that Tom was punching his fist softly into his palm under the table, and one of his feet was gently tapping the floor. They had the impression of enormous energy being tightly controlled. Suddenly the large hands vanished from their view and there was a rattle of the table above them.
‘Mrs Airton, Dr Airton, may I trespass on your hospitality?’
‘By all means, Tom,’ said the doctor, in the sudden hush this outburst had caused.
‘I wondered if I might have a few moments alone with my fiancée. We can—we can join you in the drawing room a little later.’
‘Why, of course,’ he said, after a pause. Then, ‘How stupid of me. Of course you must have some moments alone together. Whatever was I thinking?’
‘Probably of the port and cigars we’re going to miss by retiring from the table early,’ muttered Mr Delamere.
‘Mr Delamere,’ said Nellie, ‘you may have your glass of port, and your cigar, with coffee besides—but in the drawing room. Come. I think these two young persons have much to say to each other.’ And chairs scraped, two pinstriped pairs of legs and a bustled dress disappeared, Mr Delamere’s grumbling diminished out of earshot, and in a moment only Tom’s flannels and Helen Frances’s striped skirt remained, the bodies above them unmoving. The children gazed at each other wide-eyed in the unnatural silence as the engaged couple confronted each other across the table above their heads.
‘Off to Tsitsihar again tomorrow,’ said Tom, after a pause. ‘Won’t see me for a while. Five to six weeks at best.’
He seemed to wait for a reply, but none came.
‘Mr Lu’s confident enough that Mr Ding will purchase all the alkali. It’ll be Babbit and Brenner’s big breakthrough. Everything your father’s worked for.’
‘I’m glad for him,’ murmured Helen Frances. ‘And for you.’ The children had to strain to hear her voice.
Tom waited, as if he expected her to say more. ‘Well, I’m glad too,’ he said, after a while. ‘Yes, it’s very—gratifying.’ He paused. ‘The journey…’ he continued. ‘Look, don’t worry about us. We’ll be all right.’
‘Father shouldn’t be telling everybody about the silver.’
‘No, he shouldn’t.’ The children noticed that Tom’s foot was tapping the carpet again. His hands were twisting the side of his chair.
‘He’s become so boastful. Stupid. Juvenile.’ Helen Frances spat the words. The children started at the shrill vehemence. ‘I’m sick of him. Sick of him. Drinking. Boasting. Drooling sentimentally over his little girl. I’m not his little girl. Has he even thought of the danger he’s putting you in? Is this deal so important that he has to risk your lives on the road? He’s monstrous, and you’re a fool for going along with him.’
‘Come on, HF,’ sighed Tom, ‘we’re taking all precautions. We’ve gone that way before. This is an ordinary business trip.’
‘Not with Boxers about, and the bandits knowing your movements. But you’re as bad as he is, aren’t you? What a pair you are. Jolly adventurers. Everything a joke, or a game of cricket. How I despise you.’
Tom had gone rigid again at her outburst. But Helen Frances’s hands had also tightened under the table: Jenny could see her knuckles pale in the gloom, and her legs and body shaking under her dress. Like Tom earlier she seemed to be forcing back some strong emotion she could hardly control.
‘HF, what’s the matter?’ asked Tom quietly. ‘You’ve been acting oddly for weeks—months, actually.’
‘Not you too?’ said Helen Frances scornfully. ‘Are you going to nag me like Nellie? “Och, Helen Frances, aren’t we a wee bit pale again today? Och, Helen Frances, aren’t you going to finish your chicken soup?” If people would only leave me alone. Leave—me—alone.’
‘Your father and I are concerned about you,’ said Tom, lamely.
‘My father and you? It’s always my father and you, isn’t it? What an inseparable pair you’ve become. Is that why we’re engaged? Am I part of the deal? So we can all be a jolly threesome doing great things for Babbit and Brenner?’ She laughed. It was an ugly sound. ‘The two of you don’t need me, Tom. I’m no part of your nice little boys’ club. The two of you should be happy enough now I’ve left you to come and work here. You can both drink and joke to your heart’s content, can’t you? Has my father introduced you to one of his fillies yet? You do know about his goings-on before we arrived?’
Tom breathed out heavily. ‘Well, old girl, if I hadn’t seen you touch nothing but water all evening, I’d have said you’d had one too many. I really don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Pure, honest Tom. You really are too good to be true, aren’t you?’
Tom pushed back his chair. The children could hear the click of his feet as he paced back and forth. Helen Frances seemed to quieten. Her hands settled on her lap. After a few moments Tom sat down again. ‘I’ve never asked you what happened between you and Manners,’ he said, his voice softer but somehow firmer than before, ‘while we were away in Tsitsihar, and afterwards. I’ve never questioned you or him. Mrs Airton once told me something about a rainstorm … You must understand something about me, HF, that I’m a simple fellow. I’m not imaginative, or clever. I take things at face value. And I’ll trust people until I know I shouldn’t. Maybe that’s foolish. To think the best of people. Maybe it’s cowardice. Running away from facts. But sometimes you hope—you just hope—that if you let things be, they’ll turn out for the best.
‘No, don’t say anything. It’s my turn to speak now. You’ve had your go at me. I don’t think you hate me, although for the last few weeks, whenever you’ve spoken to me, your words have been … well, not what a fellow wants to hear from the girl he’s in love with. I don’t think I gave you any cause to be angry. If I did, it was unintentional and I’m sorry.
‘But I don’t think, actually, you are angry with me or your father. I think you’re in a bate with yourself. The few occasions at school that I blew my rag, as often as not I was only taking out on the other fellow some rage at my own mistakes. I don’t know how a woman’s mind works. But I think it’s probably the same. Let me say this once and for all. I don’t care what happened between you and Manners. If it’s over, HF. If it’s over. As long as it’s over I don’t want to know. It’s past. Forgotten.’
‘Forgotten?’
‘I love you, HF,’ said Tom simply. ‘I mean it. Forgotten. Unless he hurt you.’ His voice hardened. ‘If I find out that he hurt you, then I’ll kill him.’
George gasped, Jenny quickly put a hand over his mouth, but neither of the adults heard. Tom was punching his palm again under the table. They saw his chest expand as he took a deep breath. ‘If it’s not over, on the other hand … If it’s not over…’ His voice stumbled. He sighed, took another breath. ‘Then you must tell me, old girl, and I’ll get out of your way.’
The children dared not move. Helen Frances reached in her purse and withdrew a handkerchief. It was damp when she replaced it. Presumably she was weeping. Her voice, however, when she spoke was calm and flat. She sounded tired. ‘It’s over. He didn’t hurt me. You don’t have to kill him. Does that satisfy you?’
Tom slumped in his chair, letting out something between a groan and a sob. There was a long pause. The children could hear the grandfather clock ticking in the hall. There was a laugh from the sitting room.
‘And us?’ he said, after a while.
‘I don’t know,’ said Helen Frances.
‘Our engagement?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, clenching her fists.
Tom thumped his own fist down on the table. The plates and glasses rattled. A wine glass fell and the children saw the tablecloth stain red and drips pool on the parquet.
‘Sometimes I think I will kill him anyway. The bounder. The cad. The…’ The explosion wa
s over as soon as it had begun. His voice faded. Helen Frances said nothing.
Another explosion. Tom was on his feet again. George and Jenny heard him banging back and forth, back and forth.
‘God, HF. Why? Why?’
She said nothing.
The children heard the steps move round the end of the table to Helen Frances’s side. Suddenly her body was dragged upward, off her chair. Craning their heads they could see Tom’s great arms in a bear’s embrace around her but she hung limply, unresponsively. He seemed to be shaking her. ‘I love you. I love you,’ he groaned, but her head was turned away. After a while he replaced her gently in her chair. The sound of the pacing continued.
‘I’m away for six weeks, two months.’ The words came out woodenly. ‘When I’m back I’ll ask you if you still want to marry me. My feelings for you won’t have changed. I’m yours, HF. You’re life for me. Nothing less. I loved you from the moment I saw you, at your aunt’s house. You came in and the gaslight burned brighter. That’s the best I can describe it. You radiated me. I never dreamed … On the boat that night when you … I felt, how can a chap deserve such happiness? I suppose I should be thankful. I’ll always have that memory.’
The pacing stopped.
‘But didn’t we have such fun together? Don’t you remember how we used to laugh? Our eyes would only have to meet and we’d read each other’s thoughts … I blame myself. I shouldn’t have left you alone all day. I shouldn’t have got so intoxicated like your father with that bloody soap yard. I should have been with you, so you wouldn’t have had to go riding with him … with that…’
‘Don’t, Tom. It wasn’t your fault.’ Helen Frances’s voice hardly exceeded a whisper.
Tom began to say something, but stopped himself. Then the children heard him sigh.
‘If the answer’s no when I get back, I won’t make it difficult for you. Excuse me if I don’t stay around in Shishan. I couldn’t bear that. Babbit and Brenner will give me some other outpost somewhere. I don’t care if they don’t. I’m sure life will go on. As I said, I’ll have my memories. And if a chap chooses to nurse a broken heart, well that’s his own affair, isn’t it?
The Palace of Heavenly Pleasure Page 33
