“Good,” I said in relief. “Still, we aren’t close enough to do anything if there’s trouble.”
“We cannot be everywhere,” Maauro said. “While we are at your mother’s location, it is secure, but unless we gather your entire network in one fortified place, I cannot watch over them all.”
“Delt can take care of himself,” I said, “especially with a little warning. I don’t know about Grieg. Can he handle himself in a tight spot?” I sighed. “You’re right, we can’t be everywhere, and we can’t fort up. We’ll just have to stay alert.”
“Don’t we always?” she added
A laugh burst out of me. “Yeah, I guess we do.”
“I am glad things are going so well with your family.”
“Yeah, look at me, trying to act like a brother again for the first time.”
“I am sorry, Wrik, I did not understand that.”
“We were never close as children. Well, not that I recall. My mother told me that, as little children we played and played, but that was before I can remember. My memory always had us at odds, with no feeling of being sibs between us.”
“Your mother told me of your childhood. But I wondered if you would tell me what you think caused the rift?”
“I don’t know that I can. It was more a host of omissions than commissions, if you follow what I’m saying: like we were brother and sister in name only. But when she put her hand on my arm, I felt something that I hadn’t before. Only for an instant, so that I’m not sure quite what I felt or why, but it was there.”
We sat side by side in the car, the streetlights glowing amber as we passed under them.
“I’ve wondered about families,” Maauro said, her voice hesitant. “You biologicals seem to prize the concept of family and clan. Yet, I have seen so much pain associated with it: Jaelle’s father, your own, the grief and distance of your mother, and now the apparent emptiness of your sister in relation both to your mother and her own husband.”
I gave a short, bitter laugh. “It would be best not to judge the concept of family by what you have seen to date. Both Jaelle and I had troubled upbringings. There is an old saying that happy families are all alike and every unhappy family is miserable in its own unique way. I just wish I brought more to the table than this train wreck I’ve involved you in. It would be so much better for you to experience a normal family, something more welcoming, where you might fit in better. We’ve given you all the heartache of family with little of the joy.”
“Not so. I have had nothing to complain of in your mother’s treatment of me, for all I know that she hides reservations about what I am. But in truth Wrik, I do not feel this lack you speak of. I think that even you sometimes forget that I was made as a weapon in a pitiless war. By definition, I was something to be expended, merely a munition. Had I survived the war, I suppose my eventual fate would have been scrapping, or perhaps I would have ended up as a piece of statuary on some military base. A salute to a glory I would have fought for, but, never in any real sense, lived to enjoy. Remember that those who made me did not see me as a living being with desires and rights of her own. Perhaps, at the time of my creation, they were even right. Certainly during my career as a combatant, I could not claim to be what I am now.
“So, from that impoverished beginning, what have I gained? Myself, for starters, both as a living being and a female. Then, through odds that defy even my ability to calculate them, I came to be found again, given friendship, trust and a place in the world of the living. Finally, you told me that loved me, first as your friend, now as your partner in life. These are riches such as I had no conception of before. So never think that I feel a lack. I have already more wealth and joy then I could have dreamt of, even after I learned to dream.”
Maauro stroked my arm gently. Even now, I was amazed by how soft and warm her hand was, a hand I had seen covered by plasma fire, smashing through metal, or projecting molecular edged palm-blades. It looked impossibly slender and delicate resting on my forearm.
“I understand nothing of the bond of parent and child. Friendship was a difficult enough leap for me. As for what lies between us, it frequently consumes much of my processing power, and fills me with the dread of making some mistake that could shatter this precious gift.”
I reached across the steering wheel with my left hand, and gave hers a gentle squeeze. “Don’t be. I’m as certain as certain can be of my feelings for you.”
Though I do not show it, I am in pain. I am lying to Wrik again, and I hate it more than I imagined possible. He has asked me if the Confederacy is moving on his brother-in-law, and my answer is a literal truth and a bald-faced lie. Yet the iron logic that has kept Wrik in the dark about Lilith, applies now more than ever. If he dreamt of any threat to his newly regained family, he would be in a rage to come to grips with Lilith. She, in turn, would oblige. Lilith might not know or guess that I love Wrik, but he is the soft target in our pairing. While I have learned that I cannot protect him from all things without destroying what he has rebuilt in himself, I cannot bear to take such extreme risks if there is an alternative. I must lie and live with my pain.
“It seems that your sister wants your company and advice,” I say, to distract myself as the car rolls down the road. Wrik is driving, for all he distracted and inward-thinking. Still, his motions are smooth and automatic. He loves to be at the controls of any conveyance. I judge it safe to leave the driving to him. Unlike in Delt’s company, he drank very slowly and very little.
“I don’t know what to think,” he says after a moment. “Rena is so hard to read. She’s as much the politician as Grieg is. But it’s like she is trying to act as if nothing has happened. Uncle Wrik was gone, and now he’s here with presents and a pretty girlfriend. I find it impossible to see her younger face, so angry, so disappointed, so filled with venom. She doesn’t even look like the same person.”
“Is that enough for you?” I ask, hoping it is the case.
“I’m confused. I thought she and I would have it out and clear the air, or that she would tell me to leave like Dad did. This feels like a holding pattern over a spaceport.”
“But is it enough?”
He sighs. “You know, before I met Cobus and Amelia I might have said, no. But now, after being without any family for so long, to have my mother, sister, a niece and nephew, hell even a brother-in-law, it’s…overwhelming. I find that I want some sort of relationship with Rena. I want to be a part, even if a distant part, of their lives.”
“Good,” I say.
A few moments pass. “Maauro.”
“Yes.”
“My sister and the kids, if they’re ever in any danger or need any help….”
“I have already logged them as part of my network.”
He considers. “I know you prioritize in your network. I want the kids on the same level as me.”
I look at him. This is one of those moments where my ability to process emotional information is glacial in relation to my ability to process data.
Wrik interprets my silence correctly. “Do this for me, please.”
I nod.
“My sister and my mother, too.”
I nod again.
He smiles, “Thanks.”
I place my hand on his leg, resting it lightly. I have lied once again. I rank no one equal to Wrik in my network. This is selfish, but Wrik is mine, and I will not allow his survival to take second place to that of any other being. But as true to my promise as I can be, Wrik’s family slips into place in my network behind him and ahead of Jaelle, my second closest friend in existence. I am pleased however to have my network expand. It makes me feel like more of a living being.
I note with grim approval he has not asked for any change for his father or brother-in-law. In this I am pleased; I cannot grant an exception to Grieg. As for his father, he has an account pending with me that I will c
ollect in person at the appropriate time, and in this I will neither be gainsaid nor forestalled.
Chapter 21
We arrive at Wrik’s mother’s home well after midnight, but Eldra is awake awaiting us. “I was just too keyed up to sleep” she says. “I have some chamomile tea ready.”
“Thanks but no,” I say. “I am going to recharge some upstairs. I’ll see you in a bit, Wrik.” I know that Eldra will keep Wrik up for a while, discussing every detail of the visit with his sister. While I could do what I plan even while sitting at the table with them, my internal communication equipment and segmentable brain allowing silent communication, I prefer some privacy.
I pass the dog, who is becoming more used to me and merely glances my way. I extrude a power plug and tap in. It’s not strictly necessary. My normal maintenance mode uses little energy, and today was a sunny day, so the solar collectors in my hair have done their work. While we were in the air traveling to Rena’s, I’d extruded a little wind generator and hung it out the window. It is always best to be at 100%.
I can hear Wrik and his mother talking. They are in good spirits. Relief over the positive tenor of the evening is clear in Eldra’s voice. The reunion with his family has gone better than Wrik had any reason to hope. I too feel a certain sense of delight. Eldra has accepted me as Wrik’s love, though I am quite aware that she has unexpressed reservations. I am too logical not to realize that and to have some sympathy for her concerns. Still, I am uncomfortable that my true nature has been concealed from Rena and the children.
It vexes me more each day to conceal who and what I am. The further I journey into the land of living beings, the more I become self-aware, leaving my existence as a mere weapon behind. I have developed a sense of ego, of pride in my accomplishments. This creates dissonance with the tactical advantages of concealing my nature from a vast pool of possible enemies. Knowledge of me could create many problems, from concerted attacks by those who would destroy me outright, or disassemble me for my technology, to hysteria from the religious, or from those who fear that I might turn their machines on them.
Yet, something inside me is increasingly demanding to be known. It wants to walk free and say this is who I am, this is who I love, this is my life, and I will not be relegated to the shadows.
I sigh internally. These are concerns for other days. The pool of those who know my true nature expands whether or not I wish it. With my actions against the Voit-Veru and on Seddon, it increased exponentionally. Only the Voit-Veru’s treasonous actions against the Confederacy and Shasti Rainhell keep them at bay. The story of Seddon has been garbled by distance, but it too will come out. What will come of these revelations in both rewards and perils, I probably cannot understand.
For now I must concentrate on the task at hand. With the destruction of the rebel column and my severance of her links to her allies, Lilith must be reconsidering her position. Tactically, her best option would be to break off this engagement and flee offworld.
But I do not believe she will do so. I have both hurt and thwarted her. More, I have damaged her sense of herself, fracturing her identity. She will not be able to tolerate this. I am doubtless the focus of her hatred. Lilith is little more than a child, and from what I see of them, children do nothing in moderation, particularly teens. Lilith, with her twisted upbringing and damaged body, will be an extreme example of this. She will need to hurt me back, and this imprudence will keep in her action, possibly to the point of destruction.
Beyond that, she will see in my body something that she desires to possess—a power and sophistication, vastly exceeding the Confederacy and her own best efforts. She will want to take me, or at least scavenge as much of my technology as she can. She knows it will dangerous to fight me directly, and we are stalemated in the virtual-verse. The next logical place is to attack my network.
I consider. Unlike Lilith, I cannot be in multiple places at once. She has five HCRs left, though I do not know how many she can efficiently operate at once at a distance. She risked three to attack the Confederate enclave onworld. I did only minor damage to each during the battle, as they fled precipitously. She fears me greatly, and I judge, that she will keep at least two and possibly three as personal guards in case I find her physically.
I was created for the offense and am uncomfortable not taking the fight to my enemy, but Lilith is as brilliant as I was warned. Despite our engagements, I have not found any sign of her, even with Grieg’s information. Realizing that the rebel’s electronic and communications network constitute a security risk for her, she has not communicated with them.
I open a secure channel within my body, then send a coded call to the senior Confed officer at the capitol, using the ultra-violet code clearance Candace provided to me. Despite the hour, the officer, a dark-skinned female named, Colonel Kurocal responds to my call. Her visual signal shows that she has hastily donned a uniform and her dark brown eyes search mine as I have generated an image of my exterior for her to relate to.
“This is Colonel Kurocal.”
“I am Maauro, technical rank Lieutenant Commander, Military Intelligence.”
Her eyes narrow. “That’s quite a code-clearance you are wielding for someone who barely looks old enough to be out of the Academy.”
“Looks are deceptive,” I reply, “as is my rank. That clearance makes me the senior Confederate military officer on Retief. If I declare martial law, I will even rank the governor.”
“Well I don’t know about that, Lieutenant—”
“Yes, you do. But if you wish, I will provide you with the necessary section of the regulations that place you under my command.”
The Colonel’s lips thinned, but she held her temper. “That will not be necessary.”
“What will be necessary,” I add, “is for you to assure me that you recognize my authority and will respond with full speed and efficiency. This is not ego on my part, but we are in a situation of extreme peril. There can be no question of who is issuing the orders.”
The colonel’s face smoothes into a remote mask, “All legal orders will be acted on immediately. You mentioned a great danger”
“Excellent. I am attaching video and data information that will provide you the necessary background. This world is facing an immediate peril, and I do not refer to that absurd column of rebels that I intercepted and destroyed north of your position.”
Her head snapped up and the eyes narrow again. “What? We detected signs of a battle from a passing aircraft. When my ready-reaction force arrived, we found twenty-seven dead locals and number of military and technicals destroyed.”
“The rebels were admirable in removing their wounded, and I did nothing to interfere with that. Minimal casualties were one of my objectives.”
“You did that?”
“Yes.”
“With what forces?”
“Colonel, that is need to know and presently, you do not. The larger issue is that a rogue force of now five HCRs under a visionary-level hacker is operating on this world.”
“Good God,” Kurocal muttered.
“There were originally six. I have destroyed one. I have also neutralized her ability to intrude into Retief’s networks.”
“Who the hell are you?” Kurocal demanded. “Wait a minute, Maauro, I know that name. I heard it on the news. That was the name of the robot on the Seddon expedition, some new model of HCR.”
I am miffed at being referred to as a robot. I prefer android, or AI.
“You are correct, that was me, though I am not a mere HCR. Nor does it affect my clearance.”
The colonel shrugged. “I know HCRs well enough to be scared shitless of the thought of trying to deal with even one of the damn things. It’s obvious from talking to you that you’re not even an improved model. They have about as much personality as a tank”
“I can say no more than I have.”
“You destroyed one HCR by yourself?” she says, disbelief stealing across her face.
“Yes, and I can destroy the others, given the proper tactical situation.”
“Christ,” she mutters. “What do you need us for?”
“I am one unit and engaged in a mission of my own. There are personnel in multiple locations that I must provide protection for, and that protection must not be detected.”
“Wait a minute, if you’re Maauro and you travel with Wrik Trigardt then—”
“Then he has the same clearance that I do.”
A look of almost vicious satisfaction settles on the woman’s broad features. “Owen Van Zyle’s coward son—”
My eyes grow black and my teeth serrate. She freezes.
“You have just insulted a serving and decorated Confed officer,” I grate. “I demand an apology. It would be most unwise of you to inquire ‘or else?’”
The colonel stares back at me with deliberation. “Very well,” she says, clearly surprised by the intensity of my reactions. “It was a mistake for me to impugn the honor of a commissioned officer who has served with distinction recently.”
“Acknowledged,” I return, allowing my appearance on her screen to return to normal. “Returning to the subject of protection, I need the following personnel and locations protected.”
“I don’t have sufficient forces to stop an attack by five HCRs anywhere but in the capitol.”
“Understood. I believe it unlikely that you will have to deal with more than two HCRS at any location. I will provide force protection to any location Wrik is in and general backup.”
“Are the spaceport and capitol targets for this enemy force?” Kurocal asks.
“The hacker code-named Lilith, is unlikely to commit to any such target while I operate. She is both focused on and fearful of me. I am sending you a file of the personnel and locations to be secured.”
I must endure the tedium of having her merely biological brain absorb the information. “Most of these people are ant-Confed activists. Hell, I remember Van Zyle from when I landed; he was in the capitol for the outlawed Rebel Day celebration when I showed up. He became damn near apoplectic when Confed dropped yet another dark-skinned female base commander on Retief.”
All the Difference Page 20
