by Alexia Purdy
I rubbed my face, knowing how exhausted I must look. We both looked like hell on earth.
“Alright, well, I’ll be back later, okay? You need anything or the nurses aren’t bringing you enough icy juice, let me know, okay? I’ll bring a hell storm before they know what hit them.” I stepped forward to hug her, and she reached her arm around me in response.
“Oky, doky.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too, Audrey. Don’t forget that.”
I stepped back and scanned her face. Liv was already softly snoring, but something in the way she said her last words made my sixth sense spike up and worried me.
I waited a moment before I grabbed my purse from her bedside table and took one last look at her. Shaking off the dread, I let out a soft breath, feeling a slight resemblance of peace again for the first time in weeks before I turned to leave.
“I won’t forget.”
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Two months later…
Audrey
I stared out my window, always waiting, always hopeful.
I hadn’t seen my sister Liv in months. When she’d gotten released from the hospital, she hadn’t let me know what time to come by to get her. She left without phoning me.
Without me.
I still didn’t know where she was.
All she’d left was a letter in a sealed envelope at the nurse’s station, which I’d had a hell of time getting because I’d lost my I.D. and had to get a new one at the DMV to prove who I was before they would surrender it to me. Once I got hold of another ID, I was given the letter the next day, but what Liv wrote in it left me in another cold desolation.
She left without me and wasn’t coming back.
Dear Audrey,
Don’t try to find me.
I won’t let you.
I’ll find you when I’m ready. I have stuff to take care of, and I can’t involve anyone. I’m sorry if this hurts you, and I know you won’t understand, but I hope you will forgive me when I come back. You don’t have to wait for me. I’ll find you. I’ll always find you.
What I do want you to do is be happy. I know Saul still loves you, and I know he’ll see beyond the past and love you even more. This comforts me because I hate leaving you. I love you, and you’ve always been there for me, no matter what mess I’m into. I appreciated it all, even if I never told you. You are my rock. Always.
Can’t wait to see you again, someday soon. I promise.
Love,
Liz
I crushed the letter and flung it across the hospital hallway when I’d finished reading it. How could she do that to me? I didn’t even cry, for I was so full of anger. Eventually, I picked up the balled up note and left the hospital.
I already missed her, and the drive back to the house was bittersweet.
After I told Saul what Liv had done, he took it way better than I had. He’d pulled me into his arms and let me cry ugly sobs that shook my body and dampened his shirt until I ran out of tears. He stroked my long dark hair until he led me to bedroom and laid me gently on the bed. His arms became a warm cocoon that I promptly fell asleep in, dreaming of better days—days where there was nothing but highway to watch fly past and music blasting from the speakers of our station wagon.
Liv took that car from our storage since she had a key to it too. I’d just returned it the day after she was shot because Saul had a rental car we could use. I didn’t even discover what she’d done until I took the last of our belongings to the storage unit when we were finally moved out of the L.A. house a few days later. There, I found our station wagon gone and another note from Liz that said she’d take good care of it.
“How could she leave without me? I’d go anywhere with her. She knew that.” I spoke out loud one day, sitting across from Saul in a diner in New York City as I stirred my coffee relentlessly.
“She’ll be back.” Saul placed a warm hand on mine and pulled mine onto his lap as he pushed a loose strand of my hair to tuck behind my ear.
“I kind of feel lost without her.” I sighed, trying to shake off the worry—my constant companion.
“I know. She’ll come back. She’s probably feeling the same exact way.”
“I just don’t understand.”
“Let her go. You’ll understand why soon enough.”
“You think so?” I met Saul’s eyes, their smooth surface reflecting the kind man beneath them. A man I loved more than my soul.
“I have a really good feeling about this.” He grinned his sheepish grin that melted the frost on my mind, lifting the gloom immediately.
I wanted to believe him. The way he said things made me believe it.
“Okay.”
We were now living together in the city, enjoying the sights and writing music like crazy. We were due to record again in four months, and I was worried we would have to go on without Liv. I hoped not. She was as much of this trio as either of us was. Each one of us was irreplaceable, and I’d never want to go on with the music without her.
In the meantime, the royalties from our previous record were pouring in, allowing us to take extended vacations and rent a flat in the city. Each day, I looked in the hundreds of faces for the one that would find me Liz. Every day, I failed to find her. Even when we’d gone abroad to relax on the beaches of Spain and enjoy the cuisine of Italy on a nice tour of Europe, I still scanned each face that walked past me for her.
Sooner or later, she’d come back, that was for certain. I just hoped she’d find me again with ease. I didn’t want to make it difficult for her, so upon return from our trip, we settled in the city of New York until we were due to record new songs again.
I would be here, waiting for her always, with open arms.
Epilogue
Four months later….
Audrey
“I’ll get it!” I headed toward the door and peered through the hole. Blinking, I saw a dark figure with their head lowered and a hoodie covering their features so I couldn’t tell who it was.
“Who is it?” I asked through the door.
“It’s Liv.”
I scrambled to unlock the chain and several bolted locks before I swung the door open in disbelief.
“Liv? Is it really you?”
She peeked up at me and grinned, flashing her pearly white teeth at me.
“The one and only, in the flesh.”
My mouth hung open, unable to put into words anything.
She answered it by tugging me over to crash into her in a fierce hug. Her frame felt the same under my arms, maybe with a bit more meat on it. It was a relief to not find her as a bag of bones.
After a few moments, I finally pulled away to get a better look at her. She yanked off her hoodie to let her long curly waves tumble about her beautiful face. Her features were filled out, and her skin tone was a vibrant pink. No longer were there circles under her eyes, and her skin glowed with life I’d missed seeing.
“Come in! Oh, wow, this is great! Saul! Liv’s here!” I called back into the apartment.
“Okay, wait a sec…” Liv turned back to grab a bundle behind her. Err…rather two bundles. One was a large duffle bag, and the other was a stroller sitting behind her.
“What’s that?”
She handed me the heavy duffle bag, and I backed up to give her room while clasping the bag, allowing her by as she grasped the handle of the stroller and pulled it in, kicking the door softly shut behind her.
“This…” She pulled off a blanket covering the car seat fixed onto the stroller “…is Rose Elizabeth Westing. Your daughter.”
My eyes slid from the beautiful cherub face of a sleeping baby girl back up to my sister’s expectant eyes.
“Wait…what?”
She bent down and pulled out a folder and handed it to me.
“I had her a month ago. She was a bit premature, but is totally fine. I brought her here because you’re the only one who can take care of her. The only one I trust.”
I st
ared at her in disbelief before I flipped open the folder. In it was a birth certificate with little Rose’s name on it, including her birth information. It all looked fine, except when I scanned the name of the mother, expecting to see Liv’s name, it said something else entirely.
“Why does it say my name here, Liv?” I looked up to my sister, my little baby sister who always seemed to keep my life a lot more interesting than I could’ve ever made it. “It says my name under birth mother…”
I stopped talking as it dawned on me what Liv had done.
“Hey, Liv! You’re really here,” Saul called out as he entered from the bedroom. He had thrown on some pants over his boxers since he’d just woken up. The early morning had me awake hours before him, even though he didn’t really sleep in late.
“Saul!” Liv grinned wider as she ran over to give him a tight squeeze. “I’m so glad to see you guys!”
“Liv,” I groaned. I wanted answers, but she wasn’t giving me any fast enough. “What the hell is going on?” I held out the folder back to her.
“Shh…you’ll wake her up. Let’s sit down.”
“I don’t want to sit down.” I crossed my arms and planted myself in the hallway. She wasn’t going to get away so easily this time. I would chain her down myself if I had to.
“Okay, okay. Look…” She ran her hand through the long waves of her hair. It was longer, like mine, and shiny. Hell, it looked even thicker. She looked eerily like me with it styled like this, even though mine was straighter.
“I stole your I.D.”
“I knew it.” I exhaled loudly and squeezed my eyes shut.
She sighed and continued. “Look. I don’t know if Jonas or Emilio is the father, but either way, Jonas can’t know about her. I can’t have Jonas coming after me if he finds out the baby is related to him. Especially since Emilio is dead. I just can’t. So…” She let out a shaky breath as she paused.
“Come on, let’s sit down. She’s not going anywhere. Let’s let her sleep.” Saul tugged me toward the living room right next to the hall, and I let him. Liv followed and settled in an armchair right near the stroller.
I sank down on the couch, still drilling my eyes into her.
“So…what did you do?” I asked.
“I stole your I.D. so when I had her, I could say I was you. We look more alike than you know. She’s now officially your daughter, Sis. Saul can sign an affidavit as the father and be put on the birth certificate. No one has to know any different.”
“What? But…but…What the fuck, Liv?”
“I’ll sign it,” Saul interrupted. I gawked at him in disbelief.
“What?”
Saul turned toward me, looking calmer than a still lake in a bright summer’s day. I envied how relaxed he was about all this.
“You said you wanted a child, but the doctors said you can’t have any. Liv wants you to be the mother of her child. Why not, Audrey? Everyone wins and little Rose gets to stay with us, safe from all that Cartel business.”
I lowered my eyes to the floor at hearing our mother’s name. Of course Liv would name her Rose. We’d chatted about it once while lying under the stars on one of those long nights out in the desert, camping as we roamed across the country homeless. She’d said that much.
“Audrey, I don’t want anyone else to have her. I only trust you and Saul. I can’t be a mother. You know me…I can barely take care of myself.”
“Where did you go?”
“Excuse me?”
My patience was running thin.
“All these months. Where did you go when you left us behind?”
Liv sat back into the chair, her shoulders pushed back. “I went to rehab. I paid in cash from the advance Noble Records gave us and asked to be placed anonymously. I wanted to be clean for Rose. Completely. I’d been cutting back a lot, but I couldn’t fully shake it all off…the drugs…the alcohol. I let it run my life and I had to stop. When Lonzo said he knew everything and to run as fast as I could to avoid Jonas and Emilio at all costs, I knew I had to hide Rose. I had to. I had to make sure there were no more connections to Jonas or Emilio with her. They can never know about her. Plus, I had to do this alone. You’ve been there for me all my life, saving me. I had to save myself for once.”
Her words stung and melted my heart all at the same time. Her answer gave me the resolution I needed to this months’ long ache I’d been feeling. That much she’d given me.
I got to my feet and walked over to the baby. Her round face was a soft rosy pink surrounded by soft, short curls of light brown hair. She was beautiful and more precious to me in that moment than anything had been before. She reminded me of Liv when she was a baby with her soft skin and pouty lips. I wanted to pick up Rose and hold her to my chest that instant. I wanted to keep her safe, as safe as I’d wanted to keep Liv all these years.
“Can I hold her?”
Liv shot to her feet and stood by me, beaming.
“Of course.”
I reached down and undid her restraints. She made a face as I threaded her arms through them and slipped my hands under her warm body. Lifting her up, she stretched and furrowed her brows before she relaxed back into a nap in the crook of my arm.
Walking back to the sofa where Saul waited, I let my eyes roam over her tiny figure. Her fingers were miniature with the tiniest of nails formed on their tips. She smelled like a baby; baby lotion scented with a slight undertone of sour milk.
“She’s perfect.”
Saul reached out and touched her scalp softly. He ran his fingers over her fine hair, ears, and then around her chubby face before finding her fingers. She curled her little hand around one of his fingers and pressed tightly, as if to never let go.
“She likes you guys!” Liv sat back on the arm chair and observed us with an enthusiasm I’d not seen on her in a very long time. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but I figured maybe you might let me stay here with you so we can all get to know each other again. Especially…you know…Rose and you guys.”
The little bundle in my arms made my heart flutter in my chest again, and I laughed when Rose began hiccupping in my arms. She felt alive, thrumming with more life than most people walking like zombies in the light of day. I wanted to feel her close to me forever. Like this. It was a feeling I’d been missing for the longest time, and I knew the coming days, months, and years would be more than amazing because of her.
I glanced back up to my sister and grinned.
“Of course you can stay. That was never a question that needed an answer. You know that.”
Liv nodded and settled back, looking a bit tired but relaxed, like a load had been lifted from her shoulders. I’d never seen her so peaceful like that before. It warmed my soul and brought me the same relief.
“Love you, Sis. Never forget,” I whispered across to the room to her.
“Love you, too. And I won’t ever forget.”
The End.
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Acknowledgements
Thanks to my readers. You rock my world! Thank you for everything!
I want to thank Kendra Gaither, Michael K. Rose, Ella James, J.A. Huss, Jonas Saul and J.T. Lewis. Your insight gives me the drive to keep on in this chaotic world! Thank you for being amazing!
About the Author
Alexia currently lives in Las Vegas, Nevada–Sin City! She loves to spend every free moment writing or playing with her four rambunctious kids. Writing has always been her dream, and she has been writing ever since she can remember. She loves writing paranormal fantasy and poetry and devours books daily. Alexia also enjoys watching movies, dancing, singing loudly in the car and eating Italian food.
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Also by Alexia Purdy
Reign of Blood Series:
Reign of Blood
Disarming (Reign of Blood #2)
Elijah (The Miel Chronicles):
A Reign of Blood Companion Story
Amplified (Reign of Blood #3)
A Dark Faerie Tale Series:
Evangeline (A Dark Faerie Tale #0.5)
Ever Shade (A Dark Faerie Tale #1)
Ever Fire (A Dark Faerie Tale #2)
Ever Winter (A Dark Faerie Tale #3)
The Cursed (A Dark Faerie Tale #3.5)
Ever Wrath (A Dark Faerie Tale #4)
Elemental Fire Series:
History of Fire (Elemental Fire #1)
Other Stories:
The Fall of Sky
Keep Breathing
Breathe Me
Short Stories:
The Faery Hunt
Never Say Such Things
Spinning Scars
Poetic Collections:
Whispers of Dreams
Five Fathoms
Anthologies:
Beyond the Never
Soul Games
Faery Worlds
Faery Realms
Lacing Shadows
Crimson Dreams: A Vampire Anthology
The XOXO Collection
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EXTRAORDINARY AUTHORS & BOOKS:
Alivia Anders ~ Illumine
Cambria Hebert ~ Torch
A.O. Peart ~ Resist Me
