by Lynn Burke
She tugged the t-shirt off, and I bit my tongue to keep from groaning. Skimpy-ass string bikini that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Her breasts threatened to spill out the sides of the small triangles covering her hard nipples, and the scrap covering her pussy…
A shudder rippled down through me, and I reached over to turn on the jets, hoping the bubbles would hide my raging hard-on.
I’d never seen a woman move so slowly while uncorking a bottle of wine and pouring. My gaze was glued to her every move, every sway of her ass, every jiggle of her breasts.
Goddammit.
She finally handed me a glass. I cleared my throat as our fingers brushed and my cock jerked. “Thanks.”
“Mmm.” She took a sip, and I stared at her lips as she swallowed. “You’re welcome.”
I inhaled until it hurt and sipped my wine as she climbed into the bubbling water. She sat beside rather than across from me.
“Oh, this feels good.” Her moaned words and the look of bliss on her face about did me in.
I rested my free hand on my thigh, determined to not touch myself beneath the frothing bubbles.
Her blue-eyed gaze drew me in like a damn moth, and my ears and mind buzzed with the need to fuck her until we both saw stars. I cleared my damn throat again and forced my gaze to roam over the clearing, seeing but not appreciating the setting sun casting streaks across the sky.
She signed and stretched in my periphery before lowering herself to her neck in the hot water. “Farming is hard work.”
“Sure is.”
Her hand broke the surface of the water, and I glanced over as she examined her fingers. No more nail polish or long nails. The image of her hand wrapped around my cock brought a groan to my lips, but I held it in.
“I’m starting to get callouses, and I actually don’t mind. The work is satisfying.”
“Out of all of the jobs I’ve had, the military included, striving toward self-sufficiency has been the most rewarding.”
“Mmm.” She slid back up to sit properly, causing her breasts to float. “I love gathering eggs and making them for lunch the same day.” Her smile, the quietness in her expression sent an ache through my heart. When was the last time she experienced peace? The last time she felt contentment in a single moment?
“What?” she asked, peering up at my face.
“This is the first time I’ve seen you appear genuinely happy.”
Her smile faded, and she sipped her wine again. “Guess I’m coming to accept the reality of my life.”
Not sure what to say, I drank from my own glass.
“You’ve made it easier.”
Her whispered words turned me toward her again, my heartbeat kicking up a notch. “In what way?”
“You listen without prying. You’re kind. Sweet.” Her gaze roamed over my chest and shoulders. “You’re also excellent fodder for my fantasies.”
My groan escaped.
She set her wine down on the chair beside mine, and I didn’t breathe as she moved through the water, settling herself on my lap, her pussy mere inches from my throbbing cock. Mind blank, my hands moved on their own beneath the water, settling on her tiny waist and pulling her close. Our mouths collided.
So much for restraint.
She ground herself against my cock and tangled her fingers in my hair, moaning. “I want you so bad it hurts, Tom.” Breasts pressed against my chest, she attacked my lips again.
I couldn’t form the words to tell her I felt the same, my mind was so damn focused on the feel of her curves against me. The taste of her mouth. My hands slid down her ass, squeezing and holding her still as my hips moved, thrusting my cock against her softness.
Candace reached between us and grasped me through my swim trunks. I grunted as she squeezed. “I want you inside of me,” she murmured against my lips and slid her hand beneath my waist band.
“Fuck.” My head fell back as her hand closed around me, skin on skin. Talk about seeing fucking stars. I thrust into her grasp, gone.
She wiggled and tugged, yanking my shorts down enough to free my hard length.
“I-I can’t do this,” I heard myself whisper.
“Yes, you can,” she whispered against my ear, moving her hips forward. She’d untied her fucking bathing suit bottoms.
I groaned a few curses as she rubbed her bare pussy against me, her blue eyes overcome by the black of her pupils.
She lifted and lined up my cock, sinking down an inch before I could breathe.
I grasped her hips, stilling her. “Don’t.”
A frown furrowed her brow. “You want me, I want you, so why the fuck not?”
“Not this way.”
“You want a bed? A wall?” She wiggled, trying to lower her body onto me. “I’m game for either. I just want you inside of me.”
I clenched my jaw, fighting the desire to slam her down on my cock. “If I don’t have your trust, I don’t have the right to touch you like this.”
Her frown deepened. “The right? I’m offering myself to you.”
“I’m not going to be some fuck buddy you can call just to scratch an itch or fulfill your fantasies. I want more.”
She released her hold on my hair and stilled, a play of emotions flooding her eyes. “I can’t do a relationship, Tom.”
“And I can’t be a convenient fuck.”
We stared at each other, our bodies connected by a mere inch, bathed in the sunset on what could have been a mind-blowing evening. My damn sensibilities had to get involved.
“I’m willing to try again,” I murmured, thinking of Darah, “willing to risk heartache.”
“I’m not willing to trust again.”
I lifted Candace off of me and stepped out of the hot tub, tucking my jutting cock back inside my shorts.
“That’s it, then?” she asked, all trace of arousal gone from her voice.
“That’s my bottom line, yes.”
Lips pursed, she huffed and climbed from the hot tub with her back to me, yanking her bikini bottoms back across her and tying the one side she’d undone. She picked up the two glasses of wine, tossed the contents into the grass, and grabbed the bottle and her t-shirt.
Without a word, she strode away.
I stared at her ass, my cock leaking, cursing myself for a fool.
Chapter Nine
Candace
Motherfucking idiot. Steaming, I stomped up the steps into my rental. I’d fucking offered my body to him to release that hard-on he thought to hide from me, and he fucking turned me down.
I poured myself more wine and guzzled half. Still grumbling, I refilled my wine and climbed up the stairs to my bedroom, uncaring of the water trail behind me. He’d gotten back in the hot tub, I noted while opening my bedroom window as far as it would go. If he didn’t want to please me, I’d just have to do it myself.
A few yanks on the bikini strings left me naked and wet in the middle of my bedroom.
Wine glass in one hand and vibrator in the other, I settled on my window seat, knowing full well he could see me.
I might have moaned a little louder than usual while rubbing the vibrator up through my slick pussy lips. Cream dripped from me as I closed my eyes, imagining Tom’s tongue and fingers exploring between my thighs, setting tingles alive in my feet. Holding the vibrating dildo to my clit brought my climax close, and I groaned, slipping the tip back to my quivering hole.
Pressing it deep brought another groan, and I bit my lip to fight off the cresting release.
Panting. Moaning—quite loudly on purpose. Enjoying the fuck out of my vibrator.
I longed for more.
A last guzzle of wine, and I set my glass aside, wanting both hands. I lounged back on the pillows, my hips rising to meet each thrust of the dildo I imagined to be Tom’s huge cock. It vibrated deep inside of me, but it wasn’t enough.
I slid my fingertips down through my cream and back up to my clit.
“Oh God,” I groaned, my eyes clenching shut
. I rode the crest of my orgasm, rubbing my clit and backing off, prolonging the release. My breath came in gasps with each deep thrust of the dildo, and I finally gave in, pinching my clit.
“Fuck!” I shrieked my release, my cries loud over the buzzing in my ears as my body jerked and twitched with each pulse in my pussy. “Goddamn,” I groaned, still fucking myself with the dildo as I came down.
I pulled it out and turned it off, muscles slack on the soft pillows beneath me.
Release, but no fucking satisfaction. I hoped the idiot had heard.
****
The next morning, I decided fuck Tom and hopped in the car. I went into every establishment, asking about work, filling out applications. A lawyer with a degree from Harvard I could never use, hoping to bag groceries or work the cash register at the Mom and Pop gas station on the corner. Hell, I even went into Dee Dee’s diner to see if they needed a waitress.
Maybe I needed to move on, get away from the farm. Portland had been decent enough, large enough I could lose myself in the crowd, be an inconspicuous single white female who didn’t cause ripples in the pond around her.
An empty life.
By the time I realized I needed to head home for the night, depression had settled over me again. Life fucking sucked ass.
I didn’t look at Tom’s place as I pulled in the driveway and parked. I didn’t glance his way while trudging up my stairs and letting myself into his rental. I refused to peek out the window to see if lights lit up his.
Topped-off glass of red in my hand, I settled in the window seat of my bedroom and powered on my e-reader. I tried like hell to lose myself in a book, but the three I started didn’t do jack shit for me.
Maybe if I drink enough wine…
I retrieved a bottle and returned to my room to sit on my bed. The quiet rang in my ears as I imagined Butter curling on my lap, his loud purr of contentment filling my heart. A tear slid down my cheek. Something had to give, and I wished like hell it would be my ability to trust.
Tom was one of the most decent men I’d ever met, a hard-working man who didn’t pull any punches, spoke his mind, and cared about others. Then again, Papa had seemed a similar type.
More tears slid down my cheeks as I polished off the bottle of wine, no closer to resolution than when I’d arrived home.
****
Someone pounded on my front door.
“The fuck?” I grumbled, squinting my eyes in the bright sunlight streaming through the window. Ten, the clock beside me read.
The pounding sounded again, along with my name being hollered.
Fucking Charlie.
I stomped down the stairs, my temples throbbing. “I’m coming!” I shouted as he pounded on the door again.
Pulling the door open, I growled upon not finding Danny behind him as usual. “The fuck you doing here so early?”
He peered at me, his hazel eyes seeming to read straight down into my soul. “I told you I was checking in this morning.”
“You’d said we. Where the hell is Danny?”
Charlie shrugged, a darkness entering his gaze. “Couldn’t make it.”
“Yeah, whatever.” I shoved the door wide and shuffled into the kitchen.
“How are you?” he asked, pulling out a chair.
I shot a glare at him over my shoulder while lifting the coffeepot lid.
“Never mind.” He cleared his throat and slid an opened envelope across the table.
I eyed it, but returned to the task of making coffee. “What’s that?”
“A letter.” Charlie shifted on his chair. “From your father.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I paused, my hand in the coffee can. “I-I thought we weren’t allowed any contact?”
“He doesn’t know where you are,” Charlie said, his voice low and soothing. “And I’ve read the contents to make sure it was safe.”
I spooned grounds into the filter, tossed the measuring cup back in the can, and snapped the lid back on. A flip of the switch, and I grabbed hold of the counter edge to keep from shaking. “You read it.”
“Yes.”
While I appreciated his concern, anger ripped through me. I had zero privacy. Zero anything I could call my own.
I turned and grabbed the letter, shooting Charlie another glare.
He offered a smile, but I wasn’t set at ease.
Yanking the single sheet from the envelope, I turned my back on him again, the nape of my neck tingling.
Your loving Papa sprawled across the bottom of the sheet, bringing tears to my eyes and making me forget about the asshole at the table behind me.
My dearest angel, Papa began, sending an ache through my chest, and I bit the inside of my lip to keep from sobbing.
He understood why I had made the choice to testify against him. He forgave me. Declared his unconditional love for me, his only daughter, the one he thought of every minute of every day.
I pray for your safety every night. Please stay hidden, sweetheart. My old associates won’t be as forgiving as I am.
The sobs escaped, and I trembled as I fought to focus on Papa’s name again.
“Candace?” Charlie lay a hand on my shoulder, and I crumpled the letter in my hand.
The need for comfort overrode my better senses. Uncaring Charlie obviously wanted to get his hands on me. I turned into his arms, my heart broken and bleeding tears I couldn’t hold back.
I buried my face against his hard chest as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. My tears soaked his shirt, but he continued to smooth a hand along my back in silence. He didn’t speak, didn’t try to tell me everything would be okay.
Eventually, the tears stopped, and I became aware of the hard ridge of his cock lightly pressed against my stomach. He seemed reluctant to let me go as I pulled away from him, his hand sliding down my arm to linger on my wrist. “Thank you for bringing me this,” I whispered, the letter crinkling in my hand as I lifted my arm to swipe across my eyes.
“Coffee’s ready,” he said, stepping around me. “Why don’t you sit and I’ll pour. Just goat’s milk, right?”
“Yeah.” I fell into a chair and smoothed out Papa’s letter on the table, taking my time to fold it just so, making sure the thirds ended up even. My fingers caressed the paper, imagining Papa’s had done the same, wishing for physical touch.
Charlie set a mug in front of me and sat down again. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“Not really.” I sipped as he nodded.
“I was going to suggest getting off the farm for the day, maybe heading to Portland for a few hours.”
“Nah.” My finger smoothed at one of the wrinkles I’d created in the paper.
“What can I do?” Charlie asked, his thickly-lashed hazel eyes intent.
A good, hard fuck would take my mind off things for a while, I considered saying, knowing he was definitely up for the task, but my body’s lack of response—aversion, really—to his advances shut the thought down.
I wanted Tom. No one else.
“Where’s Danny?” I asked instead.
Charlie’s brow furrowed, and he sat back to sip his coffee. “Haven’t spoken to him for a couple of days.”
“How come?”
He shrugged and sipped again. “Personal stuff.”
“Sure, you can pry into my so-called life and read private letters, but I can’t ask about your partner?”
He shrugged again.
I heaved a sigh. “Thanks for the shoulder to cry on.”
Plucking his wet t-shirt away from his chest, he chuckled. “Gave me an excuse to put my arms around you,” he murmured, glancing over at me with that damn interest darkening his gaze.
“Uh huh.” I sipped my coffee and tuned out the energy he tried tossing my way. “I’m not interested,” I told him as I’d done a few times before.
“Getting some from the landlord?”
Anger flared. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
His own brow furrowed
as he glared across the table at me. “Ungrateful bitch. Everything I’ve done for you—”
“I said get the fuck out.” I stood and strode toward the front door, throwing it wide open. “And if you come here again without Danny, I’ll report your ass for sexual harassment.”
“You do that, and you’ll regret it,” he said, his warning low and laced with danger.
“Out!”
Charlie hesitated, but stepped over the threshold. “I’m warning you—”
I slammed the door in his face and flipped the lock.
Fucking great. More shit to pile onto my already shitty, fucked-up existence. I grabbed Papa’s letter off the kitchen table and stomped back up the stairs, the tears re-emerging to coat my cheeks.
I grabbed my cell off the bed stand, curled up on my bed, and did what I vowed never to do again—check my old identity’s social sites. More tears flowed as I read the new messages from the friends I used to cherish, the ones I’d hung out with daily. The close companions I’d considered sisters even though we didn’t share blood.
It was some time before I crawled back out of the bed, drained and bleary-eyed to hop in the shower.
****
A knock sounded, drawing me out of Keri’s latest book I couldn’t put down. Even though my head still pounded, my body thrummed with need from the story she spun about another hitman and the woman driving him insane.
“If that’s Charlie again,” I grumbled to myself while pulling my ass off the couch, “I’m going to kick him in the balls. Hopefully, he chokes on them.”
I glanced out the window before opening the door. No car, which meant Tom. My heart lightened, tingles adding to my already-primed-for-a-good-fuck body.
Pulling open the door, I found myself smiling.
“Hey.” His serious gaze roamed over me, tightening my nipples. “I got you something.”
I glanced down at the bundle in his arms.
He unwound the old blanket, revealing a fuzzy, butterscotch-colored head. Big green eyes peered at me.
“Oh my God!” Tears stung my eyes, and I reached for the kitten.
“Neighbor’s cat had kittens a couple weeks ago. Figured you would maybe want some company.”
