by Jeannie Moon
“No.”
“But this is his hometown, surely…”
“No. We’re going to let the man work in peace. It’s nice that he’s back, but let’s face facts, he never thought very much about Angel Harbor, or it wouldn’t have taken him so long to visit. He’s home because it suits him.”
Jane didn’t like the way the hurt seeped into her words. Not sure if Mom noticed, she got her confirmation when her mother’s hand came down on hers. “It was a long time ago, Janie.”
“I know. That’s not it.” Jane tried to collect her thoughts.
“No flutters, or bouts of nostalgia?”
“No, Mom.” That wasn’t entirely true, but why elaborate? “I guess I’m out of sorts. The idea that college acceptances could start coming soon…I don’t know. I miss her already. Seeing him just threw me off.”
“Change is inevitable.”
“I get it, but it’s not easy.”
Her mother slid off the stool and kissed Jane on the cheek. “I’ll be up early to make you breakfast before you leave for work. Uncle Joe said he’d be around to help out while I’m away.”
“I appreciate that. Tracy said she’ll pick up the extra slack. You’re only gone for a week. I’ll manage.”
“Humor me,” she protested, smiling wide. “Everyone likes to feel needed.”
Truer words had never been spoken, and Jane was starting to wonder if anyone really needed her.
Chapter Four
What had he said? Or done? Three days ago, Jane was easygoing and welcoming. Dan wouldn’t say she was happy to see him, but she was sweet and eager to talk to him. Today, he sat in the same place at the round table, and there was a distinct chill in the air. She was still friendly, but it had a professional edge to it, a little separation. Her reception the other day was what he had hoped for, but since then? Nope. Something was definitely different.
Expecting her to be anything more than polite was egotistical on his part—it wouldn’t be the first time. He had to remind himself that Jane had a life that didn’t include him. He’d made sure of that when he walked away from her all those years ago.
He’d gotten the frame for his story done in the bookstore the other night. He’d left when she locked the door for the night. They didn’t talk much that last hour, but he liked watching her. She had little routines and mannerisms that he remembered from when she worked there as a teenager.
She was still strong. Determined. But he sensed something else. Jane seemed resigned. Maybe even a little bit sad. He didn’t know why he thought that, and the presumption was arrogant. He didn’t know much of anything about her. He hadn’t even asked about her daughter.
He could have brought it up in conversation, but Dan was so pissed off at himself that he didn’t know any of the details of her life. He avoided it like the coward that he was. He should have been there for each of the milestones, as well as the heartbreaks, but he wasn’t.
Should have. He was saying that way too much. It was a sign of how much he’d screwed up.
His author life was one of excess. Everything was bigger, bolder, and designed to make him the center of the universe. He was invited to every A-list party in Hollywood, Washington, and New York, every interview show, every red carpet. Until he wasn’t. The circus spiraled into crazy territory a little over a year ago when one of his books was used to plan a brutal murder. The thirty-two-year-old woman was found dead in an Ohio office building parking garage. A copy of his book was found at the scene, linking him to the crime. That was when Dan pulled back from his public life.
Sure, his books were still selling, but he had hit bottom. Once the details of the actual crime were known, he didn’t know if he’d ever get past how it disgusted him.
While he was hiding out, and licking his wounds, he didn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone else. He’d ignored his sister, and her kids. He didn’t know about a recent promotion she’d received. Half the time he didn’t know how old the kids were, but last year he’d forgotten all their birthdays. Her husband had changed jobs, and Dan never had a clue.
Now that he’d re-entered the land of the living, he was going to do better. He’d started with Mel and the kids, and Jane was next. She wasn’t angry, but he sensed caution where he was concerned. It threw him a little off balance, but maybe that’s what he needed. If he was able to keep a low profile, he wouldn’t be followed by sycophants and fans in Angel Harbor. His nieces and nephew didn’t care about his money, or the bestseller lists, or his damn process. His sister wasn’t impressed either.
And that’s why he wasn’t going to call his editor or agent. Not yet. They’d try to pump up his ego, and get him back in his lane. They’d been pushing him for years, not thinking about the toll the pace and the publicity were taking on him. Had they been behind his success? Absolutely. Was the money nice? Sure. He had a ton of it. But he didn’t love the life. Not anymore. He didn’t need the attention or the celebrity or the drama.
He didn’t know why he didn’t just quit writing. That was his first instinct, but it pissed him off that he could be chased out of his job by some psycho. The writing was in his blood. He’d tried to quiet the voices more than once. He didn’t write for five years after he graduated law school, focusing on passing the bar and making a name for himself as a litigator. After a couple of years in a big firm, he went to work for the Justice Department as an assistant U.S. attorney in Chicago. All the while he lived hard, working sixteen-hour days and attacking his life, balls out. His relationships were inconsequential, and life passed him by at light speed.
He was barely thirty, and full of piss and vinegar. On the outside, everything seemed great. On the inside, he was empty. He had no one special in his life, and while his career was exciting, something was missing. Dan hadn’t yet realized it, but he was heading for a crash.
Then one night, when he was between cases and actually home before ten o’clock, he found one of his old writing notebooks. He read it through, finding the pages weren’t half bad. The stories were rough, but the person he used to be came roaring out of the shadows.
Dan had been lost, stuck in the soul-sucking whirlwind of a life he’d made for himself.
He broke out his laptop, and thought, what the hell?
Fueled by a bottle of bourbon and a long weekend, Danny sat at his computer and started what would become his first book.
He didn’t necessarily leave the fast lane, but things changed in big ways. He traded the sports car for a limo; the adrenaline rush of a case, for hitting a deadline or celebrating another big contract or movie deal.
Not writing was not an option. In his mind finding a way to put his words into stories saved him from self-destructing when he was younger. Or did it? Even as an author, no one would have suspected how hard he drove himself. On the surface, he had a great life. But it wasn’t. Not really. Dan knew it was time to dial it back. He’d missed too much.
The last couple of months, while he was bumming around at his house in Hawaii, he’d had long talks with his sister at least twice a week. She’d moved back to Angel Harbor a few years before, taking over the old family house, and she’d encouraged him to come home. The kids were getting older, and she didn’t want him to miss it. The more they talked, the more an extended visit to clear his head felt like a good idea.
The familiarity of the town calmed his racing thoughts, and it provided him with just enough cover so he could continue to blend in if that’s what he wanted. Other than having an expensive car, which was not an uncommon sight on Long Island, he looked like a typical suburban dad. As Jane noted the other night, he didn’t look like his author photo, and that was fine with him.
Dan had done well enough that he never had to work another day in his life. But at fifty-one, he didn’t feel like that was a good idea. He might have lost his direction, but he was no slacker. What he could do was write something else. He’d been thinking about it for a while, so why not give it a shot?
He could focus o
n families and small towns; on friends and people who make differences in small ways. He was seeing it every day with Jane. Even though she was more cautious around him, he spent his time in the bookstore learning from her and all her customers.
He’d missed those things when he’d bought into the celebrity life. His sister had called it the “pit of self-absorption,” and she wasn’t wrong.
Jane came to work every day with a very large Collie that looked like Lassie. The dog was gorgeous, big and fluffy, with almond-shaped brown eyes that were sharp and intelligent, and caramel-colored fur with an impressive mane. Chloe greeted people who came in, followed children around the stacks, and spent a lot of time sticking close to Jane.
When she was working at the desk, Dan would see Jane’s hand drop without thought just to scratch the dog behind her ears. Chloe would look up blissfully, or lean into her with such love and trust, Dan could feel it.
It seemed everything Jane did was sprinkled generously with that sweet affection she offered without condition. Except for him. With him, she was polite, exceedingly so, but he wasn’t feeling any warmth. Maybe being here wasn’t a good idea. Sure, he was getting his work done, but he hadn’t considered it would be uncomfortable for Jane.
He’d switched from the leather notebook to his laptop now that the book was really moving forward. He had a good handle on his main characters and the small-town setting was a familiar one. He didn’t know if Angel Harbor was ready for prime time, but he was going to find out.
While he was reading over his notes from the early chapters, he felt a warm weight settle against his leg. Looking down, he saw he had some company. Jane’s dog wasn’t just sitting next to him, the gorgeous girl had her head resting on the table next to his computer. Just beyond her reach was a croissant he’d gotten with his coffee.
The dark brown eyes shifted back and forth, between him and the pastry. Chloe was too well trained to steal it from him, but she obviously wasn’t above begging.
“You’re shameless,” he whispered to the dog. “You look at me like you’re starving, but I know you’re not.”
Chloe’s head lifted from the table, and she gazed up at him like she hadn’t had a meal in weeks. One paw came off the floor to rest on his thigh.
“Is that the way it is? Think I’m a soft touch?” Her ears were pinned back and the sweet look on the dog’s face was all love. He couldn’t resist and dropped his hand on her soft head, stroking the golden brown fur at the crown. “You are a beautiful girl, but you’re a hussy.”
“She’s a total hussy.” Jane had found her way back to the table area and she shifted her gaze between him and the dog. “She’d sell her soul for a piece of that croissant. Don’t give in.”
“Did you hear that? Your mother said no.” Chloe dropped her head, but both Dan, and Jane, could see the pooch shooting a very obvious side-eye at her human. This dog had personality in spades.
“She’s annoyed with me.”
He laughed, still petting the dog. “She’s great. What a beauty.”
“Did you hear that Chloe? He thinks you’re beautiful.”
Chloe tilted her head up and gazed at Dan with all the love he’d ever seen in a dog’s eyes. He, in turn, stroked her face and cooed at her. “Yes, you are beautiful and such a smart girl too.”
Chloe responded by licking his nose and swishing her big tail.
“Oh, brother,” Jane said. “I’m going back to work. You two have fun.”
He laughed at her exasperation. The banter between them, and the dog—who was most definitely part of the conversation—lightened the mood.
“I heard you telling someone your mother went away. How long will she be gone?”
“Oh, yes.” Jane folded her hands in front of her and stood needle straight, a stance he remembered from when they were kids. “She’ll be back on Sunday. It’s a short trip, just a week.”
“Where is she?”
“Santa Fe.”
“Nice.” He leaned back in his chair. “I love New Mexico. Every corner of the state has something different. Have you been?”
“No, never.”
That surprised him. He figured that she would have been everywhere by now. “It’s beautiful. So much history, great culture, and the food…fantastic.”
Jane took a step in his direction. “I’ll have to take your word for it. I don’t have the chance to get away much. The business keeps me here.”
When she was younger, all she’d wanted to do was explore the world. That she hadn’t saddened him. Jane kept her face neutral, but the tumultuous green of her eyes conveyed the regret. Dan wanted to tell her he’d take her anywhere she wanted. New Mexico, or Nepal. He’d book the flights right now if he could see the light bloom again.
This woman had mattered to him. He knew he’d sucked at showing it and he was sure he’d hurt her, but if there was some way to make up for it, he would.
“How is Tara doing?”
Her eyes lit up at the mention of her daughter. “Doing well. She’s the stage manager of the school play. It’s hell week, so I expect I won’t see her until late.”
“Ah, flying solo here tonight?”
“No,” she said. “My two part-timers are on. I’m taking the night off.”
A crazy idea flashed in his mind. It popped up and took hold, for better or worse. It could be a colossal miscalculation, but he was all in for taking a risk if there was a good payoff. “Would you like to grab dinner later?”
He dropped the words into the void and waited for her reaction, which seemed to take forever. She was stunned, which in his mind was a better look than disgusted. But she still hadn’t responded. “I guess you’re busy.”
“Uh. No, I’m not busy. Thank you for asking.”
She wasn’t busy?
“Is that a yes?” He sounded like an overeager kid. Jesus. He had no game.
“Yes. I’d…I think I’d enjoy that.”
Dan stood and walked to her. The air between them seemed to warm and thicken. “Do you still live on Bay Avenue?”
Color rose in her cheeks and she looked down at her hands. Was she going shy on him? Because if she was, it was damn appealing.
“I do. Still in the family house.”
He nodded and felt the pull of his body to hers. He took another step, and found Chloe squeezing between them.
Jane caught her breath as the dog nudged her hand, bringing her back from whatever fog surrounded them. “What the—Good Lord, dog!” She rolled her eyes at the pup’s antics. “You’re such an attention whore.”
The only thing he could do was laugh. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Does that work for you?”
“I can meet you someplace,” she countered.
“Nah. I’ll drive.”
“Really, it’s fine.” Her insistence was laced with a tinge of nervousness.
“I’ll pick you up, Jane.”
She stroked the dog’s head, but her eyes were connecting with his. Her expression was soft, and full of questions. “Okay. Sure. Seven works. But I don’t want to take you out of your way. It’s not like it’s a date, or anything?”
The idea that after all these years, he was finally taking Jane Fallon out on a real date made him inordinately happy. He could keep it as a friendly dinner, or he could throw down the gauntlet and use the “d” word just to see what would happen next. He slipped his laptop into its sleeve and then into his old bag.
“Danny?”
“I guess we’ll find out.” He shrugged, enjoying her baffled expression. He was glad the chill had left the room. Earlier, she appeared completely unflappable—but now, she was charmingly flustered. “See you later, Janie.”
He swung the bag over his shoulder and touched her arm lightly as he made his way to the front of the shop. He turned back, giving her a wave before heading out into the cold November day.
It felt like the holidays were around the corner. The air was crisp and cold, with the breeze sending the scent of pine and s
alt water through the downtown. It was festive and cheerful, with pine garlands and wreaths, and gold and silver decorations beginning to adorn the stores, the lampposts, and the trees.
Looking back into the bookstore, he could see Jane hadn’t moved. He hoped his vagueness about it being a date, or not, didn’t spook her too much. Her face, with her eyes wide, and her mouth in a disbelieving “O” made him smile.
Dan had a date with Jane Fallon.
It was about damn time.
*
Jane sat on her bed staring at her closet. What the hell was she supposed to wear? She had no idea where they were going, and obviously, since it was feeling very much like a date, she was even more confused.
No, not confused. She didn’t know enough to be confused. What was clear was that she was a middle-aged woman who did not get out enough.
She was so nervous, part of her wished she’d said she was busy or working. But no, she’d eagerly volunteered that she was free, and then she was possessed by some kind of menopausal insanity to say yes to his invitation.
He was due here in minutes, and she was still standing around in her underwear and a pair of tights, unable to make a simple decision. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Jane ran a hand over her belly and examined the little pooch that stuck out, a reminder of too many cookies consumed at the store under the guise of taste testing. In her head she was hearing glowing affirmations telling her to embrace herself. To accept who she was. Fluffing her hair, Jane didn’t hate what she saw. She’s was in good shape, not just for her age, but any age. Sure, she’d put on some extra pounds over the years, but she took care of herself. She ran a successful business, had friends and a wonderful family. Still, where Danny was concerned, insecurity rocketed around her gut like pinball.
“This is ridiculous,” she muttered to herself. It wasn’t like they were going to have sex or anything, Jane didn’t know if she even remembered how. But the person she saw looking back at her was a ticking clock, a reminder of the time that had passed. So much time.
Reaching into her closet, she pulled out a flowing, wine-colored sweater dress and her chunky-heeled black boots. This dress was her go-to and fit almost any occasion. She never thought it would be a first-date-with-Danny dress, though. With a scooped neck and a sweeping skirt, it shaped her in all the right places, and camouflaged the ones she’d rather not have on display. It was a favorite for a reason.
