by Jeannie Moon
“I’m sure you do, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” Danny was very protective of the story. It made her wonder what he’d gotten himself into.
The thought seemed to put him on edge. She could feel him tense, like a big cat ready to spring at a threat. What the devil was the man writing about?
“I can tell you it’s very personal to me.”
“Okay.”
Danny stopped walking, forcing her to turn, and Jane’s hand slid down to his. “Okay? You’re not going to try and get it out of me? No probing questions.”
She could feel the laugh bubble in her chest. “Do you want me to?”
His eyes focused on hers, and she thought for a second he might tell her what he was writing, and more, why it was so important to him. Instead, Danny shook his head and pulled her arm back through his. “Your opinion matters to me. But no, I’m not ready to tell you yet.”
“That’s fine.” Jane leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked on. It was incredibly comforting to be so close and so at ease with him. It was nice to let her worries slip away.
“You could beg a little, you know,” he said. “It would be good for my ego.”
That tickled her. She knew he was kidding, but she loved the teasing between them.
“I think Lindsey doled out enough hero worship for you today. You’ll be fine without any more from me.”
She could feel his body unwind as they talked. The walk had relaxed her, and she was so grateful for the pretty night. Jane was also grateful for him.
They crossed the street, heading back toward the harbor. On the way they came upon a shop that specialized in blankets and textiles from the UK and Ireland. The small shop was filled with beautiful handmade crafts and home goods. Jane had bought Tracy a throw from there just last week. “I love this store. It reminds me of a shop in Ireland, in Kinsale, that had the most beautiful blankets.”
“I’ve never been,” he said. “To Ireland.”
“No? I took Tara when she was ten. Obviously, it made an impact on her.” The wonderful memories now collided with Jane’s scary reality. “We went to Dublin to see the Book of Kells and the Long Room at Trinity College, and spent some time touring the countryside. My father’s family is from County Galway, near Kinvara, and I swear, it’s God’s country. So gorgeous. But Kinsale, in County Cork, is all charm. That’s where my mother’s people are from. I bought us blankets there at a place called Granny’s Bottom Drawer, to remember the trip. We still use them.” She felt the coziness of the memory wash over her. That trip was one of the best times of her life. “Harbor Knits reminds me of that. Claire, who owns the shop, is Irish, and she has a full stock of textiles—blankets, linens, and yarn. Lots of yarn.”
“You speak of it with such reverence,” he chuckled.
“Yarn is serious, like a religious experience.”
The window of the yarn shop was decorated with lights and a Christmas tree made from knitting needles and crochet hooks, woven together in an intricate pattern. There were baskets of yarn, blankets, stuffed toys, and hand-knitted items on shelves and racks. Christmas ornaments made from balls of yarn hung from a glittering curtain rod suspended from the ceiling. It was creative, festive, and inviting.
Just like her sweet friend, the shop radiated all the love Claire brought to their town.
A light breeze circled around them just as Jane felt a tickle of cold and wetness on her cheek. Then again. And again. She looked up. “Oh,” she sighed, catching her breath. “Snow.”
Just like that, the sky was filled with magic. Angel Harbor didn’t often have a white Christmas, but sometimes the maritime climate cooperated and dusted their waterfront village with what looked like a perfect coating of powdered sugar. It wasn’t that they didn’t get winter, they did. February, and sometimes March, could be especially brutal with huge snowfalls, ice storms, and winds that whipped up the bays, the harbors, and Long Island Sound.
When the storms came, they all hunkered down and watched out for one another. But these December snows were usually gentle and pretty, and Jane felt like she’d been given a gift from the heavens.
This night was turning into something unexpected. A mixture of sadness and resignation, with a sprinkle of happiness. Jane wondered what kind of magic Dan Gallo could bring to her life.
“Where’s the best place you’ve ever traveled?” she asked him.
“It’s hard to say. If I’m on tour, I don’t stay long enough in any one place to enjoy it. I’m there for a day and then I’m off.”
“Where have you spent time?”
“I love Italy. Lake Como is probably one of the few perfect places on earth. Malta is beautiful and so is Sardinia. But my favorite place is probably Norway.”
“Norway? Really?”
“I cruised the fjords once. Just took off last minute on my own and traveled for a week. The country is beautiful. Imposing. I decided to go back a few months later.”
Their arms were now entwined and Danny gripped her hand. “Did you go in the winter?”
He smiled down at her. “I did. Last January. I made reservations at a hotel above the Arctic Circle. The rooms, which were actually apartments, had walls of glass. The sun never really came up but hovered over the horizon for a few hours every day, and the lights in the sky took my breath away.”
He looked up, like he was searching for the lights here. “But it was more. The small community we visited? The people have completely adapted to the harsh environment. They love the dark, the cold. There’s joy in the season. The stark landscape should have felt desolate, but it didn’t. I learned so much, mostly about myself.”
Jane had dreamed of seeing the Aurora Borealis. Not only had Dan done it, but he had gone so far north he was likely surrounded by it. These were the kinds of things she’d missed, immersive adventures that consumed a person’s body and mind. In her heart, she could live with it—she’d had her daughter and nothing in the world would ever be better. But now that she was faced with Tara leaving, really leaving, she didn’t know what her next adventure would be, if any. It was something to consider.
“You have an amazing life,” she whispered.
“I’ve been lucky. I don’t think you’ve done badly,” he reminded her. “You have a beautiful daughter, great friends, a business…” Danny stopped abruptly and kissed the top of her head. “You matter to the people here. They care about you, and your daughter adores you. Nothing can ever take that away.”
“I hope so. Tonight was hard, though. Dublin is awfully far away.”
They were standing across the street from her store. The lights sparkled, trimming the building with an otherworldly magic. From this distance, the scene looked almost too perfect, like a Christmas card come to life.
“I feel at loose ends. I have so many things to be grateful for, but I kept thinking I’d be ready for her to grow up, and I’m not.”
“I’m sure there are a lot of parents who feel the same way.”
“I’m sure. Tracy embraced the changes. As she says, ‘Each milestone is proof I didn’t screw up.’”
He chuckled. “I like that. It’s good advice.”
“But Ireland? She didn’t even tell me she’d applied. I should be excited for her, that she’s brave and determined and following her dreams, but my heart is breaking at the thought. And what if she’s not ready? What if I’ve messed up and she’s not ready?”
He let go of her hand and looped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “You are still so tough on yourself. Whatever she decides it’s going to be great. She’s a bright, talented young woman, and you are an amazing mom.”
Was she hard on herself? Probably. That was her default setting. “I wish I had your confidence. I just don’t know how.”
They continued their walk and entered the miracle that was Angel Harbor Park. There had to be a hundred thousand lights strung in the trees, on the gazebo, and on the pier jutting out into the water. Like a mirror, the harbor ref
lected the lights, casting a spray of stars across the earth. Boats in the marina were decorated for Christmas, and Jane felt her heart sing and cry, so moved by the beauty of it all.
He stood behind her, hands on her shoulders, and to her surprise, Jane felt safe. If nothing else—in this insanity—she had that.
“Every light is a reason for you to believe. To keep going. I know you’re sad, but look at what you’ve done here.” He waved his hand around at the park and the marina, and smiled down at her. “She’s ready and so are you. This is your chance to have adventures of your own. I have faith in you. And I don’t have faith in anything, so that should tell you something.”
Jane wished she could share his belief, his willingness to see options and possibilities. Right now she felt lost, adrift in a storm over which she had no control. Tara’s news pushed her brain into overdrive. There wasn’t just one thing racing around now; every problem, every worry was confusing her. Jane still didn’t know what was happening with her store, and she had to admit, that had her more anxious than anything. But more than a few people, smart people, had told her there was nothing to be concerned about.
Unfortunately, her gut wasn’t listening.
Danny had been trying to ease her mind by mentioning all the good things she had in her life. He wasn’t wrong; however, the shadow following her around was a lot harder to shake. God, she would miss her girl if she went to school across the pond, but Jane couldn’t help thinking there was something else coming. Something life-changing. It forced her to remember that day in Scotland when she was called to the phone in her makeshift office to find out her father had died. Her dad was her cheerleader, her support system. Her world shattered into a million pieces that day, and it had taken a long time to put it back together. She didn’t know how she would handle something like that again.
“I hope you’re right. I really hope you’re right.”
Chapter Thirteen
Every word dripped with sadness, and all he wanted to do was make it better. Dan knew Jane was a smart, capable businesswoman, but she was going to be crushed under the weight of the news that the building housing her store was in the process of being sold.
He honestly didn’t know if he should tell her, especially after hearing Tara’s news about Dublin.
Jane’s family was changing. Her house was going from a home that had the energy of three people to a house for one. He guessed Jane didn’t know where she fit in the world. When she spoke about Tara going to college, her pain was so visceral, he could almost feel it himself. Of course she was proud of her daughter, and excited, but it left Jane without the role she’d had for the past seventeen years.
She was looking at the lights in the park with a wistfulness that revealed just how much she cared for her town and the people. Responding the only way that felt right, he dropped his hands from her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her. Rather than stiffen or pull away from the sudden intimacy, she let him comfort her, leaning back against him, allowing him to absorb her weight and her troubles.
The flash of protectiveness was overpowering. Acknowledging that she triggered every protective instinct was the first step into new and frightening territory. At the same time, her wisdom and her calm, her goodness brought him peace. She was why he was writing again.
Dan wasn’t ready to share it yet, but the story he was working on was Janie’s book. It was the story he wanted the two of them to write together. It was about finding love and belonging after a life of loss and detachment. Resting his chin on her head, he faced glaring reality. He was in love with her, and if he was truthful, he always had been. She was never far from his thoughts. His feelings for her were likely why he’d never married, never really settled down. It was why he kept relationships at arm’s length. All these years, his heart, his soul, belonged to Jane.
The realization over the last few weeks was more epiphany than anything else. He had no heart-fluttering awareness other than the deep, abiding peace he felt when he touched her, held her, kissed her.
His heart was hers. All he wanted was to make her happy. To make it so she had nothing to worry about ever again.
Which was why this wasn’t the right moment to tell her what he’d learned about the sale of her store.
He would break the news to her, but considering how upset she was, this wasn’t the time. It was her business, and she had a right to know, but the news about Tara had pushed her to her breaking point. Granted it was good news, but Jane was crushed at the idea of her daughter being so far away. She had so many other things on her mind, did she really need the stress about her store right now?
He’d tell her, just not tonight.
Gently, he turned her toward him, taking her face in his hands. Her eyes, bright with tears, reflected the jeweled lights that were strung in every tree.
“I wish I could help.” Once again he squashed the little voice screaming at him to tell her what he’d found out. He could fix it.
“That’s sweet, but unless you’re going to help me keep her prisoner, I don’t know what can be done.”
“Uh…” The thought of it actually made him smile. “I haven’t known Tara long, but I doubt she’d be a particularly cooperative prisoner.”
“You would be correct.”
“Everything will work out.”
“You don’t know that,” she said. “What if she goes and she hates it? What if—”
“Shhh. Stop torturing yourself.” Dan could feel the tension in her body rachet up. “If she hates it, she’ll come home. And you’ll be there for her just like always.”
“Will I? I’m still wondering if I’ll even have a business. My attorney is worried. I can feel it.”
Keeping the information about the store from her wasn’t going to be easy. The Fallon woo-woo was legend in town. He should know better than to mess with it. Still, he wanted to reassure her. “The bookstore is an institution in Angel Harbor. It’s as important as Old First Church or Village Hall. I doubt the town would let anything happen.”
He knew damn well that if the building was being used legally and there was proper zoning, there wasn’t much the town could do.
“Now you’re trying to placate me. You know there’s nothing the town can do. I’ve even thought of moving. If something happens, I guess I could…”
“Jane, try not to get ahead of yourself. You don’t know what’s going to happen.”
She stared at him, her eyes piercing through the darkness like a pair of cat’s eyes. “That’s true, but I don’t know how to just shut it off. That must be some special gift and I don’t have it.”
“I wish I could help.”
“How can I be feeling like this?”
“Like what?” he asked.
“I feel like I’ve lost control of everything. It’s Christmas and I want it to be wonderful, but knowing this is the last time I’ll have Tara home full time, I want it to be special. That email tonight from Dublin just drove home that she’s not going to be around, and she could be thousands of miles away. Everything is happening so fast. I want her to have good memories, to know I’m proud of her.”
“She knows, honey. She knows.”
Jane was on a precipice, the cusp of great change, and watching her fight against the fear and self-doubt, holding it together for everyone around her, was the most extraordinary thing. This woman was remarkable. If he was in possession of just a fraction of her bravery and her nerve, he’d be able to face all the changes he wanted to make. The life-altering kind that, with luck, included Jane for the rest of his days.
She was, without any doubt, the best person he knew. There was never a moment that went by that Jane’s light didn’t affect someone. He only wished she could see that brightness herself.
“Can we talk about something else?” She gazed up at him, and he fell deep into the misty depths.
That simple request, right there, ended any deliberation he was having with himself. He’d figure out a time to tell her about
the store, but tonight she needed some peace.
“Tell me about the lights,” he said, tucking her head under his chin. “The town didn’t always go all-out like this for the holidays.”
“No. The decorations have been growing over the past ten years. It went in stages. The gazebo was always lit, even when we were kids, as was the tree.”
“I remember.”
“But we added the pier, and the walkway, and then the other trees…” Light and color danced around the snow-dusted park, making it look like it was covered with glitter just like the floor in the children’s room earlier.
“We? Tell me about the we.” He knew what her answer would be before he even asked the question.
“It’s a committee. We’re a family here, and we want to share our town. Especially at the holidays. I mean, look how pretty this is. How could anyone not feel happy?” They were gazing at the scene in the park, and Danny had to admit, he’d never seen anything so magical, except when he saw it through Jane’s eyes.
“I don’t know. I think you could tell me that.”
She turned her head, catching his gaze, her sparkling eyes reflecting her own sadness and confusion.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Out of line?”
“No. You just call me on the lies I tell. I guess that’s what friends do, right?”
He laughed softly. “If you say so.” Pulling her closer and reveling in the connection they were sharing, even if it was only for a few minutes, Dan didn’t know how he was going to walk away from all he’d gained over the past month. The town and his family, and Jane, meant everything to him. How could he leave it all?
“It’s going to be okay, Janie. I promise.”
The thought of going back to his solitary existence, of keeping people at bay, had lost its appeal. For the first time since he’d left town for what he thought was forever, Dan felt like his life had meaning—as corny as that sounded. The pace had slowed, and he’d found each day brought something new to celebrate and enjoy. That he’d been given a second chance with Jane, was the most unexpected, and remarkable, development.
