Seventeen
Though she had only had two glasses of wine, Lucy woke the next morning feeling hungover, her head fuzzy and her stomach in knots.
She wanted so badly to pull the covers over her head and stay in bed. Everything ached, mostly her heart. She couldn’t stop remembering those moments in his office after the gingerbread contest. The raw emotion in his voice, the pain in his expression.
She’s not you.
She didn’t want to remember. She wanted to pretend the whole thing was a bad dream. Climbing out of bed and standing in the shower didn’t make anything better, but at least she felt clean.
She had brought nothing appropriate for a winter wedding among the few clothes she had carried with her from Thailand. Fortunately, the bulk of her clothes were still in her bedroom closet at Holiday House. She stood in front of it, looking for something that might work. She finally settled on a simple deep green dress she thought looked good with her dark hair.
None of the attention would be on her, anyway. Everyone would be looking at Katya.
No one was around in the kitchen, not even the corgis. Grateful she didn’t have to make small talk with her grandmother or Abby or, worse, evade any other probing questions, she had coffee and a piece of cinnamon toast before heading to the hotel.
Her day was busy from the moment she hit the Lancaster Silver Bells. She helped while Katya’s mother and sisters had their hair done, while they dressed, while her father talked to the caterer and the florist. She noticed Katya growing increasingly pale as the day progressed and tried to convince her to eat something.
Finally it was time for the wedding. Daniel’s local friends and family filled up most of the chairs in the lovely room being used for the wedding.
Lucy helped Katya’s father have a conversation with Daniel’s father about the reception later, then went to see if Katya’s mother needed any help with anything.
She found the women in the hot, stuffy dressing room set aside for them. It smelled of hair spray and perfume and Katya’s six female relatives were talking loudly and laughing about a story one was telling about her own wedding.
Katya stood alone, slightly apart from them. She looked ethereally lovely in a richly embroidered dress trimmed in fake fur. Her slender features were pale, tense, and she looked poised for flight.
Lucy wasn’t sure what to do. She was here as a translator. That was all.
She had already asked if Katya would be kidnapped by her family, as was tradition in Russia, so that her groom could pay a “ransom” in challenges. Katya had told her Daniel had already paid his ransom when he had visited her in Russia and asked her to marry him.
After two days of helping with the wedding party, she knew Katya’s and Daniel’s romantic story. They had met in Italy when both were tourists there and had fallen head over heels, changing all their travel plans to spend a glorious two weeks with each other. For three years, they had carried on a long-distance relationship, meeting where they could, until Daniel had finally flown to Russia to ask her to marry him.
They really were lovely together. Except right now Katya looked as if she was going to be sick.
“Are you all right?” she asked Katya in Russian. Though she knew the other woman’s English was good, Lucy thought she might find Russian more comforting as she prepared to take this big leap into marriage.
“Da. Nyet.” Katya heaved in several shallow, rapid breaths and Lucy panicked, worrying she was going to hyperventilate.
“You need some air,” she said on impulse. She knew there was a balcony along the corridor just outside the room. It was locked, but she was a Lancaster and knew one of the doors had a trick handle that unlocked with the right amount of pressure.
Grabbing her by the elbow, she steered her out of the room to the balcony where immediately the cold Colorado air and the gorgeous view of the mountains seemed to calm her a little. At least her cheeks took on a little more color.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Lucy looked at her, alarm bells ringing. “Do what?”
“Marry Daniel. I can’t. I have to take this off.” She tried to yank off her engagement ring. “I can’t marry Daniel. He deserves a better wife than me.”
She started pacing the balcony, trying to pull flowers out of her bouquet.
“Let me get your mother,” Lucy suggested, completely out of her element here.
“No! My mother would never understand. She would yell at me in Russian and tell me I was shaming the family. Then she would cry and tell me how much my father has paid for the wedding and for our tickets here and how she came all the way across the world to be here so I could marry my American cowboy.”
“What about...about Daniel’s mother? Carol is very nice. I’ve known her for years.”
Katya looked completely miserable. “She is nice. And his father is very nice. I don’t want to hurt any of them.”
Lucy had one job here. To help this wedding go off without a hitch, and so far she was failing miserably.
“It’s normal for brides to be nervous. I would guess all brides are, a little. It’s a huge commitment, merging your life with someone else’s.”
“I can’t do this to him.”
“Do what? You love Daniel and he clearly adores you. You two belong together. You’re perfect for each other.”
Was she really giving a bridal pep talk—in Russian, no less—to a woman she had just met yesterday? Could her life become any more surreal?
“He could marry anyone. Yesterday at the rehearsal, I heard something. His cousin said Daniel should have married the girlfriend he had before me. She was beautiful and rich, from a powerful family.”
“But he didn’t, did he? He wants to marry you.”
Katya started to cry, big noisy tears that made her makeup run. Lucy wanted to go find someone else, anyone else, to deal with it but was afraid if she left, Katya might disappear into the winter evening.
She grabbed Katya’s cold, trembling hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. “All you have to do is ask yourself one question. ‘Will my life be better if I marry Daniel or if I don’t?’ It’s as simple as that.”
The trembling of her fingers seemed to still slightly, so she pressed on. “You love Daniel, right?”
Katya gave a tiny nod. “With all my heart.”
“He loves you the same way. You two are wonderful together. Everyone can see it. One stupid cousin doesn’t matter.”
She met the other woman’s gaze, still holding her hands. “Do not let your fears stand in the way of your happiness. If you’re willing to let those fears be more important to you than the love you feel for him, then I would have to agree with what you said before. He does deserve someone better.”
She could feel Katya wavering. “It’s going to be okay. You love each other. What else do you need?”
Katya sniffled a little. “I do love him. I don’t want to live without him.”
“There you go. That’s all that matters. Now, you’ve got people who want to celebrate with you. Let’s go inside and have your mother help you straighten your veil, and we’ll try to fix your makeup and your bouquet a little.”
“Okay.”
“We’re good, right?”
After a moment, Katya nodded and let Lucy lead her back to the dressing room. When she stepped back out into the hall, she cringed a little inside when she saw José looking gorgeous in a well-fitted charcoal Italian suit that showed off his gorgeous physique. Worse, he was heading straight toward her.
She was quite certain she didn’t have the energy for a confrontation with him right now. She almost slipped inside the dressing room, but he caught up with her before she could do more than take a step in that direction.
“I saw you out on the balcony with Katya. She looked upset. Is everythi
ng okay?”
She nodded. “A few last-minute jitters, but I think everything is under control now.”
He looked shocked that she had handled the crisis by herself. Lucy didn’t blame him. She couldn’t believe the things she had said to Katya about love and fear.
She was even more shocked that they still resounded through her with the ring of truth.
At that moment, Katya came out of the dressing room with her mother and sisters behind her. All had been set to rights and she looked stunning, with a new peace about her that had been missing for two days.
She came to Lucy and kissed her on the cheek.
“Thank you,” she said in Russian. “Thank you for being so wise and for reminding me that love is the most important thing of all.”
Lucy couldn’t look at José, grateful he didn’t speak the language, as Katya glided down the hall.
* * *
Lucy wasn’t sure how she made it through the rest of the wedding ceremony and the long hours of partying afterward. It helped greatly that José seemed to disappear after the ceremony itself, presumably to handle some other crisis at the hotel or one of the others in town.
The wedding itself had been beautiful. The groom had cried, which had made Lucy want to cry, too. Afterward, Katya and Daniel’s families both proved language barriers were irrelevant when it came to dancing and drinking and having a wonderful time to celebrate the bride and groom.
By the time the last of Katya’s family left the ballroom and Lucy’s services were no longer needed, it was after midnight and Lucy was exhausted. Her brain ached from trying to remember vocabulary she hadn’t used in a long time, and her feet hurt from dancing with Katya’s three brothers and her uncles, who were all delighted to tell her stories about home.
She couldn’t wait to go to her own home, slip off her heels and collapse on her bed.
First, she had to retrieve her coat, which she had left hours earlier in the closet outside Ethan’s office.
She headed for the elevator to the Lancaster Hotels administration offices, waving to Jolene Turner, who had worked at the front desk forever.
When she reached the offices, she couldn’t help noticing a light was burning in José’s office and his door was ajar.
Unfortunately, she had to go past it to grab her coat. Through the sliver of light, she could see his head bent over a laptop as he worked on something, his tie loosened and his hair falling into his eyes.
She fought the urge to slide into his office and push that hair out of his way.
Not her place, she reminded herself. She had made sure of that.
Tears welled up as she stood there outside his office, the emotions of the past two days hitting her all at once. What was wrong with her?
Love.
She loved him.
The answer seemed to settle over her like a soft snowfall.
This ache in her chest had to be love. It was the only explanation that made sense. She loved him. She had loved him for a very long time.
In her shock, she must have made some sound. Or perhaps he merely sensed her presence. He lifted his head, his gaze going instantly to her. In that second, she saw raw, unfiltered emotion in his expression.
Instead of making her want to flee, she wanted to sink into his arms, to tell him she was so sorry.
He rose and came out into the hallway.
“You’re leaving? Is the wedding over?”
She, who was fluent in eight languages and understood several more, could only nod.
“That’s a long day. Thank you for helping out.”
She managed to find her voice, though it sounded hollow, rough. “I was glad to do it.”
“What happened today with the bride? You said she had last-minute jitters?”
Lucy let out a breath. “Yes. She overheard something one of Daniel’s cousins said, and it made her fear the marriage was a mistake and one day he would regret marrying her.”
“How did you bring her around?”
Her face felt hot suddenly. She wanted to give him some trite answer, but she couldn’t do it.
She wanted to tell him the truth.
She looked away. “I reminded her how much Daniel loved her and couldn’t wait to marry her. Everyone could see that. And I asked her if her life would be better or worse if she swallowed her fears and took the chance on love.”
“You did?”
At the shock in his voice, she turned to meet his gaze. She didn’t know what he saw in her expression, but an instant later he breathed her name in a low voice, and then he was reaching for her.
His kiss was fierce, almost desperate.
“You win,” he said on a groan. “I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I’ll take whatever I can have with you. If that’s only a week a few times a year and phone calls and video calls the rest of the time, I don’t care. I love you, Lucy. I’ve been miserable without you.”
She kissed him back just as fiercely, just as desperately.
“I have to tell you something else I told Katya today,” she finally said.
He eased away, watching her with so much emotion in his dark eyes that she wanted to cry all over again.
“I told her that she couldn’t let her fears get in the way of something beautiful and right.” She gave him a solemn look. “As I said those words, I felt like the world’s biggest hypocrite because that’s exactly what I have been doing. I’ve been running for a long time, much longer than that last night in Koh Samui. I’ve been terrified that if I let someone into my heart, I would turn into one of my parents.”
“You aren’t your parents, Lucy.”
“I know. I realize that now. My parents are selfish and irresponsible. I’m not like them in other ways. Why have I been so convinced I could be like them when it came to love? Why couldn’t I just as easily be like Winnie, who loved my grandfather from the day they met until he died fifty years later? Longer, even. She still loves him. For eternity, she says.”
His arms tightened around her, and she thought she heard him hitch in a breath.
“I choose Winnie and Clive, José. I want to be like them. And I choose you. Always you. I love you. Like Winnie loved my grandfather. Like your mother loved your father. I want the same thing you do. A future together. I don’t know if I’m any good at love but...but I would like to try. With you.”
“You’re good at everything you try. Scuba diving. Muay Thai. Speaking Russian. Why do you think being in love would prove any different?”
She laughed. “That is an excellent point. I’m probably going to be fabulous at it.”
“I have no doubt whatsoever.”
He pulled her into his arms once more, this time for good.
Eighteen
Christmastime seemed to spin past faster and faster every year.
Ethan had no idea where the time went, but on the day before Christmas Eve Ethan drove through the crowded downtown of Silver Bells, trying to find a place to park.
He was so behind this year. While he had ordered several gifts in November for Winnie and Lucy and a few of his good friends, he hadn’t made time to pick them up yet.
Now he had a few other last-minute things he had been thinking about for Christopher and Abby. He wanted something for them to remember Silver Bells.
Finally, a big SUV flashed its brake lights and backed out in front of him. He immediately pulled into the spot and turned off the engine.
A light snow fell as he headed into the fray of busy sidewalks and crowded stores, all filled with last-minute shoppers like him. Everyone seemed to become a little more desperate as the clock ticked down.
This was his penance for not taking care of things earlier, Ethan thought as he stood in a long checkout line at one store after another, then waited again to have things gift wrapped before
heading to the sporting goods store for something else he wanted to get Christopher.
In a window display outside, his attention was caught by a BMX bike similar to the one he used to have. Christopher would love that, he thought, and could surely find places to ride it in Austin.
His chest ached every time he thought about them leaving.
He was going to miss them both so much. Christopher had brought so much joy and laughter into his life.
And Abby. How had he made it all these years without the sunshine of her smile?
Both of them would be gone soon. She was leaving the day after Christmas, which gave him only a few more days to store up memories of them.
He opened the door to the sporting goods store and had just headed down the aisle toward the bikes when someone jostled him.
“Oh. Excuse me,” a woman said.
Ethan turned around and nearly dropped his bags.
The woman had a baby carrier over one arm and a bunch of packages over the other...and a huge diamond wedding ring on the hand where his own engagement ring used to be.
“Ethan!” Brooke Fielding Palmer exclaimed.
“Hello. Someone mentioned you were coming back to town for the holidays. How are you?”
At one time, she was his future. She was as lovely as ever, her makeup perfect, her hair looking salon-shiny. But he didn’t feel a single thing.
“Good. So good. This is my daughter, Mia.”
The baby was beautiful, with round cheeks, huge dark eyes and curly dark hair pinned back with a pink bow.
“Hi,” he said softly to the child, who looked far too small and fragile to be out in the cold, even with her quilted wrap and little beanie.
“How are things?” he asked. “How’s life being married to an NBA player?”
She gave a bright smile that looked genuine, he was happy to see. “Great. Really great. Mia has made something that was already good into something fantastic. I feel so blessed.”
“I’m glad.” He was, he realized. He had wondered how he would react to seeing her again, if he would feel hurt or betrayal or sadness. He felt none of those things. Only a strange sense of...relief.
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