“It’s been a long while,” I said, laying a hand on the bronze machinery, feeling the hum of her immense magic as it sent a tingle through my fingers.
Helen’s gears picked up speed and then stopped. A little slip of paper flew out of the slot and landed by my feet, face-up.
I told you not to leave. You’re supposed to be here.
Did she know why I’d left? The way things had gone down? The way Hawk had rushed me out before I’d gotten a chance to even say proper goodbyes? Probably. She was the great Helexorgomay machine. The all-knowing Helen. She’d know every detail, probably down to the kiss and the angry reaction right afterward. She probably thought I should’ve been tougher. I had been most of my life, but when I came here, I’d had a blip.
When I came here, not knowing what to do, at a complete loss, I’d trusted Hawk. I’d started to rely on him. I’d let him take control of my life in a way I’d never let anyone before. And when he told me to leave, I’d done it, even if it hadn’t felt right. I’d regretted it ever since. I wouldn’t fold again, not ever.
I folded the paper and put it in my pocket, wanting a small piece of this place, of her, in case I never set foot in here again. It was a reminder that even if things got tough again, Helen thought I belonged. She was the wish machine. If someone had an opinion I should trust, it was hers.
“I know. I should’ve fought harder. I will this time, though.”
Another slip shot out.
Don’t. Fold. Again. You’re stronger than you realize.
Fold. She’d used the same word I’d thought of. Yeah, Helen knew it all.
Another slip flew to my feet.
Yes, I do.
“Now you’re just showing off,” I said, pocketing these slips as well. I might frame one and hang it once I got a place of my own. It was nice that Helen thought I was strong, especially when I was having doubts.
The door opened behind me. There was only one person that would come in here this late. The adrenaline that had been soothed by memories and Helen came roiling back to a full boil as I turned to face Hawk.
He walked into the room with that same arrogance I remembered and sat on Zab’s desk, crossing his arms while he stared at me as if he was absolved of all guilt. Or maybe he was incapable of feeling any? One of the first thoughts in my head was that damn, he looked good tonight. It showed how messed up my head was. You didn’t admire the devil’s attractive facade. It was just honey to lure you to the trap. I’d never fall for his trap again.
“Can I help you with something?”
He was utterly calm, always in control. I hated it even as I longed to emulate it.
“You told everyone not to hire me.” I didn’t scream or rage the way I’d planned. He didn’t deserve that much emotion out of me. I’d play his game, as if I were above it all, even if I felt as if I were covered in mud and muck after the day I’d had.
“I didn’t instruct anyone.”
Again with the semantics. Did everyone in this place split hairs? Could we not just sum it up nice and simple for once? “You’re denying that you were the reason I had trouble getting a job?”
“Not at all. I’m simply informing you that I didn’t have to tell them. When you didn’t come back to work here, they were wary of how welcome you were. Since I believe you shouldn’t be here, did you think I’d go out of my way to have them hire you?” He raised an eyebrow, as if to imply I couldn’t possibly be that stupid.
I’d made a huge mistake coming here. I wasn’t laying down the law. I was getting tied in knots of aggravation and fury, while he watched on. I was becoming a jumbled-up mess inside while he was a placid lake. I needed to get out of here, and now, before the tsunami inside me raged outward and it became very clear who was holding it together and who was crumbling.
“I’m aware that you think I shouldn’t be here. Luckily for me, it doesn’t matter what you think anymore, because I will be staying, and someone did give me a job. So thank you for trying to screw me, and I’ll be on my way.”
Some papers behind me fluttered to the floor, and the flower pot was rattling on the desk. That was definitely my signal to exit.
I headed for the door, but he blocked my way. He was a foot in front of me, scanning me the length of me, and not in a sexual way.
“There’s something different. I thought I noticed it the other night as well.” His eyes rose to mine. “What have you done?”
My hand moved to my neck before I caught myself and held it in front of me. His glance down made it clear he hadn’t missed the slip.
Out of everyone, he would be the one to notice. I wasn’t even sure if it had done something, but it must’ve the way he was acting.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now step out of my way.”
“There’s something different,” he said, still blocking my path as if I hadn’t spoken.
“Yes. Me. Now move.” Shoving him out of the way was not an option, but only because he was stronger. Otherwise, his ass would’ve been on the ground.
He didn’t budge. I tried to step around him, and he shifted with me, grabbing my wrist and pushing my jacket up so he could feel my flesh, or more specifically, my magic. I was getting a little tired of being handled tonight, although when Oscar had done it, it wasn’t quite so unnerving.
Trying to shrug him off did nothing.
“Get off me.”
He only moved closer, his head dipping down beside mine as if he were going to whisper in my ear. Instead, he breathed deeply of me.
“You’ve gotten stronger. But how is that possible?” He wasn’t talking to me but thinking aloud. It was so un-Hawk-like that it meant he was truly stumped.
I wasn’t. But then again, he’d never known about the tattoo. Or that a couple of specks of ink had remained until recently. I wasn’t sure why those last few spots had bothered me. They’d appeared as nothing more than freckles, but I’d fixated on them when I was stuck in Salem, dwelling on what I’d lost, pretending I hadn’t cared. I’d obsessed enough to get one more laser treatment done so there wasn’t a single reminder of what had been stolen from me.
One hand was still on my wrist as his other threaded through my hair, working its way around to the back of my neck.
“What was here?”
He was skimming over the place that had once had my tattoo. I tried not to shiver from his touch. I’d forgotten how it infused me. Or I’d tried to forget, but it was all racing back to me now, making my heart race. The huskiness of his voice hadn’t been missed by me either. He felt it too, even now as he tried to concentrate on this other mystery.
“You were marked. Was it your mother? I can still feel the trace of its energy.”
I tried pushing away and ended up flattened against him.
“Do you have no boundaries?” I asked as he fixated on my skin and there wasn’t much I could do about it. One hand still had my wrist while the other was pressed on my neck.
“Of course it was her. Who else?”
I didn’t answer. It was none of his business. The only thing that kept me standing there was that I refused to struggle further.
His fingers continued to graze over the area, and heat built up along my skin.
“What are you doing?”
He kept going, repeating a word I didn’t understand, as my skin grew hotter by the second. His fingers kept moving over the spot until it was near burning.
I’d never thought he’d actually hurt me, but the more the heat grew, the more I doubted my beliefs. I pushed against him, harder than even before. He pressed me back to him, continuing with whatever it was he was doing.
Then, finally, the heat faded. His hands stopped and he stepped away from me. He walked across the room, as if he were the one looking for space.
My hand went to the spot that still burned and tingled with his magic.
“What the hell was that? What did you do to me?” I asked as I moved even farther away from him, in the direction of the d
oor. If he’d put something back there, I’d kill him right now. Somehow, I’d manage.
He leaned on a desk, looking at me, and he didn’t look like the placid lake anymore. His waters had been riled as well, and I was seeing some waves about to break along the rock, if I read him right.
“There was still a little of the magic blocker left. I got rid of it for you.”
Bullshit. Why would he do that for me? Why help me in any way?
I stretched my shoulders and rolled my neck, feeling the area out for something wrong. As much as I didn’t trust him, it did feel a little looser, like I’d gotten a shoulder massage or something. My entire life, I’d always had a tightness around my neck that had eased of late, but now it was completely gone.
“Why didn’t you ask me?” I rolled my neck a bit more. Had he really gotten rid of it completely? I hadn’t felt this loose in more than a decade, probably right around the time… Yeah, he really might’ve.
“You would’ve let me? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me it was there in the first place.”
Oh, those waves were definitely crashing now. I wasn’t sure what had unraveled him, but he was right on my level now, and I liked it.
Sort of. The both of us unraveled might not be a good thing.
Either way, he was right. No way would I have let him touch a hair on my head at this point. Half of me wanted to thank him, but the other part was still annoyed he’d forced it on me. I nodded. That was as good as I had at the moment, especially since he was trying to run me out of town. Two minutes of beneficial magic wasn’t making up for that. Now it was time to get the hell out of there.
I marched out of the office and, for the first time, barely felt the freezing cold of the fifth wind.
6
The square was quieter than usual for this time of night. It had only been a few months, but there was a heaviness in the air that I hadn’t remembered. The people who were out looked every which way around them, took a few steps, and then repeated, as if there was an attack imminent. Or maybe it was me, hot off my confrontation with Hawk, expecting a fight. If I did want another one, my opportunity was up ahead.
There was a warm light coming from Raydam’s house. I could’ve spent an extra few minutes walking the other way and avoiding it, but then, I wasn’t that girl anymore, right? So I would keep going straight ahead. I was going to start this new life the way I intended on living it, and that was with a head held high, not shrinking from anyone.
He was on the porch, with another figure beside him. The warm light filtering through the window caught his companion’s red locks, making them shimmer while outlining her perfect figure.
Raydam and me were on opposite sides, but deep down, I didn’t have any overwhelming vitriol for him. That couldn’t be said for Belinda. We hadn’t been friends. We’d barely tolerated each other as coworkers, but did that excuse what she’d done? Laying that ill charm to trap me so it could get me? Those were war actions, and they wouldn’t be soon forgotten. She’d tried to get me out of the way by killing me, as if it were my fault that Hawk hadn’t wanted her.
Jilted by Hawk, Belinda had shifted sideways and a bit downhill to the next warm body she could find. It was an all-too-obvious move. Did Raydam know she’d been dumped, or did she spin that little tale in her favor? Did she think this would make Hawk come running back? Maybe he would, and what did I care?
Actually, seemed I did care a bit from the burn in my chest. I’d have to work on that.
I’d figure that out tomorrow. Right now, I had to keep an eye on Raydam, who was clocking my pace. Make that two of them, if I didn’t count the people who might be inside his house, and one of me. Screw it. I still wasn’t crossing the street. I didn’t turn my head and pretend not to see them, either. I stared right at them.
Raydam took a step in my direction, and then another, until he was walking toward me, with Belinda right behind him. I stopped, waiting for him. After all, I didn’t run anymore. I shoved my hands in my pockets to show how little they concerned me.
He stopped a few feet shy of me, and then Belinda sidled up to him, staring at me as if I were the one who’d betrayed her.
I stood in silence, my narrowed eyes saying it all.
“I’d heard the Nowhere witch was back,” Belinda said. “Apparently not even Hawk wants you now.”
“As opposed to Hawk having never wanted me?” I asked, my insult clear enough if her rising chest and quick intake of breath meant anything.
Raydam moved his eyes to her for a moment, the wheels turning. Yes, he’d thought he’d been first choice, not the only one left. Guess again. He’d never be picked first if Hawk were available, not as a friend, partner, lover, not even in a game of dodgeball. Whether I liked Hawk or hated him, I wasn’t deluded enough to see that happening. There was hate and then there was stupid. If you let hate run wild enough, it could clog up your brain with gunk that made you stop seeing the world for what it was. In this world, Hawk trumped Raydam every single time.
Raydam finally looked back to me, shrugging off his revelation about Belinda, or not—time would tell, pouring through the hourglass until nothing was left but the ugly truth.
“What’s your purpose here? Why are you back in Xest? You’ve already caused enough damage,” Raydam finally said.
“I’m not here for you or your business. I’m here to live my life, like everyone else.” There you go. It was about as good of an olive branch as I could muster. The way I saw it, I had enough issues. I wasn’t going to run from a fight, but that didn’t mean I’d throw the gauntlet at every opponent I could find, either. Now, if Belinda wanted a fight, that would be an entirely different scenario, but it would have to wait a bit.
“You think you can do that after the monstrosity you erected in the Unsettled Lands? You’re wrong. You better go back to whatever hellhole you climbed out of and beg them to keep you, because you’re not welcome here.”
There was running and then there was standing here and listening to this crap.
“As pleasant as this little visit was, I’d best be going. Have a full day planned tomorrow.” I turned and walked away, not running. This day had been way too long to use up the last of my energy on Raydam and his crazy new girlfriend.
“Tippi, if you stay, don’t say you weren’t warned. We will come for you.”
“Duly warned,” I said, voice full of bravado even as a slight chill snaked up my spine. Just what I needed: more enemies.
As mentioned, I didn’t run anymore. But I might walk a little faster on occasion. This day couldn’t handle any more confrontations.
I didn’t completely unwind until I shut the door to Zab’s place.
“How’d it go?” Zab asked as I walked in.
His smile was so forced that I was surprised he wasn’t using two fingers on either side of his mouth to prop it up. He’d also started making second-rate cocoa as soon as I walked in, as if he’d known I’d need the pick-me-up. It was a strong switch from his earlier optimism.
“Obviously you heard,” I said as I dropped onto the couch. It wasn’t a surprise when Xest was so small and I’d hit up every business there was, only to be booted repeatedly.
“Hard not to.” His smile slipped until it was a landslide across his face. It dropped so much I was surprised his nose hung in there.
“Well, you heard wrong,” I said, smiling as my voice rose. “In spite of Hawk, I got a job over at that club, the one with no name? Zark hired me!” I did a little dance in my seat because my legs were too tired to stand.
“He did?” Zab did a little dance too.
“Yes!”
7
Zark’s place was packed the next afternoon. There wasn’t a free seat in the joint, and all eyes were on me as I walked in. My nerves would’ve preferred a slower day, but I sauntered across the room like it was a runway and I a seasoned model.
“Look who’s here!” Zark greeted me with a smile that he didn’t appear capable of yesterday. He
could’ve been tired the day before, but that wasn’t what my gut was telling me. That was another thing I’d decided since I’d come back to Xest: besides not taking any shit and never backing down, the gut ruled the roost. I’d need to establish a pecking order just in case the never backing down conflicted with the gut.
“Yep, I’m here for work, just like you said,” I added, in case he needed a reminder he had hired me and I wasn’t making a social call.
“Just made a fresh batch of buttered buns. They’re in the back. Go grab yourself a couple and have a bite before you start work. I don’t want you to get worn down during your shift.”
This guy was really happy. Were these people all here to see the show? Did they think Hawk was going to march in here and drag me out? Would he try?
“Thank you, but I’m good. I ate before I came.” And if I did have an appetite, it was long gone now.
“No, no, I want you to be happy here. Can’t have you overtaxing yourself. Now go get that bun, and I’ll make you a nice tea to drink with it.”
“Okay.” He was paying me. If he wanted me to eat a bun that badly, I’d have to eat the bun. They were sitting on a table in the back, still steaming from the oven, as if he’d timed it that way. I put one on a napkin and took it with me back to the bar, where my tea was waiting, along with a very happy Zark.
“You usually this busy?” I asked, guessing it was otherwise.
“Never.” His dull eyes twinkled. and his thin lips parted for a crooked smile.
This Zark was even less inviting than the harsh, unhappy version of yesterday. This one looked like we were co-conspirators. This one might want to stuff me and prop my body up in the corner, like some twisted taxidermy display. Zark was also the only one willing to hire me, so he was my best friend for now.
The Nowhere Witch (Tales of Xest Book 2) Page 4
