Sucked In

by Charissa Dufour

Chapter Eighteen

  “Where to now?” Josh asked, to change the subject.

  Nik pulled the crumpled list out of his back pocket. “Library, of course. I guess I’ll talk to Mikhail later,” he added, nodding toward Mikhail. We left the main room.

  “Library?” I asked, forcing my brain back to the here and now. I jogged to keep up with Nik’s longer legs; Josh was having to do the same thing.

  “Of course. Where else do you go to get information?” he asked in a sarcastic tone. I rolled my eyes. Evidently, he was too set in his old-school ways to think of the internet.

  We wound our way around the evening viewers finishing off their day in the restaurant. I held my breath and recited the Pledge of Allegiance until we exited onto the street; it was easier than dealing with temptation. I glanced up at the cloud-covered sky as I jogged to the nearest vehicle. The bouncer tossed the keys to Nik. We climbed into the sleek car. It was a new one from what we had used the night before; the foreign badge was one I didn’t recognize.

  Damn vampires and their money.

  Then again, Josh wasn't rolling in it, I thought as the young man—in appearances only—climbed into the back seat.

  Nik drove through Olympia and into Lacey. The dashboard said 4:32 p.m., and being late October I wasn't surprised by the fading light of a winter sunset, effectively defused by the thick clouds. The evening traffic was thick as we drove up Pacific and into the adjacent town. He turned onto College Street, crossed over the freeway, and took a left into the library parking lot. Like many public buildings in western Washington, it looked like both the building and the parking lot had been laid out in a way so as to cut down as few trees as possible. The enormous evergreens and large rhododendrons grew right up against the outer walls.

  I followed them into the library, suddenly feeling very conspicuous. It had been days since I'd been involved in normal human activities, like going to the library. On the way in, I glanced at the hours of operation sign. They didn't close till seven. I hoped that was enough time for whatever we were doing. We followed Nik through a couple rows of tall bookcases, finally stopping in the history section. He scanned one shelf of books before moving on to another. Thus far I had only seen one worker and one visitor, both situated at the other end of the enormous room. I was thankful. I couldn't take much enticement just now.

  “What are you looking for?” I asked. He shushed me.

  After a few minutes of searching—while Josh and I tried not to get bored—he pulled out a book, flipped through it, put it back, and pulled out another with the title of “Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor.” Nik collected a few more with similar titles and made a neat pile out of them. He lifted half, leaving the other books for Josh. Evidently, as a woman, I was too fragile to carry books. I rolled my eyes and followed them to a large empty table tucked back in a dark corner.

  “All right, start digging,” ordered Nik as he set his stack down.

  “What are we looking for?” I asked again reminding him that I'd yet to see the list. He handed it to me. It included a breastplate, a dagger named Veneno, a few silver bracelets with a vague description, the title of a book, a helmet, and a codpiece. “I'll search for the codpiece,” I said as a joke.

  Nik rolled his eyes at me and took his seat. We all began digging, trying to find references to the items mentioned. Over the next two hours, we found only a few brief references. We managed to find a picture of the bracelets matching the description, a painting of Charles V in the breastplate and helmet, and an idea of what was in the book—writings of Martin Luther.

  Eventually one of the library workers pointed out the time. Again I held my breath while Nik and Josh exchanged quick but polite chit-chat. We returned our books and left. When we got to the car, I spoke up, “So what next?”

  “Well, we got a little better information, so I think we'll go see Drake.”

  “And then we get the items and Emma leaves!” added Josh.

  Nik glared up at him. “Don't forget who you’re speaking about, boy. Even here she is still your superior.”

  “But not yours?” I asked.

  “Technically, yes. She's the primus of one of the Portland seethes. Though I'm older than she, I have no children or vampires that are considered mine. Thus, in an informal way, it means she outranks me.”

  A movement near a neighboring car caught my eye. I saw someone watching us over the top of their S10 Chevy pickup. The look in their eyes said: “Wow these guys are weird,” which is surprising, considering how many weird people there are in Olympia. I glared at them for a moment before they conveniently realized they needed to get into the vehicle.

  We climbed into the fancy car, the tinted windows making it only a fraction darker than outside. The sun had fully set, which made me feel a great deal better. I hadn't realized how tired I'd been until the weight of daytime was taken from me. We drove back down Pacific toward the bar and my apartment. Nik parked the car as soon as we reached the edge of the downtown area and turned to look at me.

  “We're going to see a fae,” he began without preamble.

  “Wait… fae like Muffler?” Again, I made a flapping motion with my hands—just like I had the last time we’d discussed the fae. Nik swatted them down, his face contorting in an annoyed grimace.

  “Muffler. Yes. There are some rules you need to follow.”

  “Rules? Like rule rules or guideline rules.”

  “Rules. Now shut up and listen,” he snapped. I bit my tongue to keep from replying in kind. “Don't say thank you, don't accept gifts, or food, or drink. You know what…just don’t talk.”

  With that, he climbed out into the dark night. Josh and I followed him. The streets were surprisingly crowded for a Thursday evening. Nik led the way, carefully weaving his way through the growing throng of pedestrians over to the next block. Someone bumped into me and I struggled to keep myself from throwing a punch.

  My skin tingled as though it were ready to crawl away on its own while my head started to ache and an all too familiar pressure formed against my gums. Why was I acting as if there were blood nearby? I hadn't been thinking about drinking or anything. What was wrong with me?

  The sound of the pedestrians' hearts pumping seemed to grow louder or more intense. My breath came in rapid gasps as I trailed behind the others. We turned down a nearly deserted street. That is, only one young lady shared the walkway. She was dressed in a simple business suit, her frizzy, black hair pulled back into a ponytail at the base of her neck. She shifted to the edge of the sidewalk to give us space to pass.

  As I drew near, I listened to her heartbeat. It was faster than normal. She was afraid, or nervous. The sound of her blood pumping through her veins was like a drum beat designed only for me, guiding me to my destination. As she passed by, her shoulder nearly grazed mine. Without thinking, I reach out, grabbing her by the arm and sinking my teeth into her shoulder.

  At first, all I tasted was the cotton of her suit. I sucked at it, frustrated by the lack of taste, but that didn't last long. I faintly heard the woman scream, as if she were in a different room. She struggled against my grasp, but it was like wrestling a child. There was no hope of her escaping my hold. The power I felt excited me, made my proverbial heart beat faster. The minute I started using her like a straw warm liquid flooded into my mouth. The ache in my gums, the panic tightening in my chest, all of it disappeared as I swallowed the sweet yet salty, warm liquid. I inhaled deeply and resumed my drinking. Long before I felt satisfied, a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders and yanked me away from my meal.

  I cried out, panic setting in as the stuffed suit slumped to the ground. I fought back, desperately reaching out for the one thing I wanted, but it was no use. Whatever held me back was stronger than me. Suddenly someone was picking up the suit and carrying it away. I cried out again while being dragged back into an alley.

  “Breathe,” a calm voice ordered. What was he talking about? I was breathing. Wasn't I?

&nb
sp; It didn't matter. All I cared about was reaching my goal, sating my need. I didn't need to breathe. A sudden earthquake shook my body. I struggled against the rapid movement, losing my footing on the pavement while my head whipped back and forth. This made it impossible to run after the thing I needed, wanted. “Deep breath,” said the calm voice as the strange earthquake ended.

  I obeyed, hoping once I did it would release me.

  “And another.”

  I repeated the action. My mind slowly started to clear, making it easier to think, as if I was slowly waking up. The panic eased in my chest and my gums stopped trying to explode out of my mouth. I wiped my hand across my mouth; it came back red. What was this? What had happened? As my mind continued to clear, I started to remember the woman in the suit, her screaming, and my desire. It felt like a bad dream. “Oh god,” I whispered as realization set in.

  I dropped to the ground, cradling my head between my knees, wishing I could pass out. I didn’t, sadly. “What have I done?” I cried, tears spilling over my eyelids and dripping to the pavement before I could feel embarrassed by my sudden burst of emotion in front of a stoic, cruel-hearted bastard. I didn't make the effort to stop them. It was too late to preserve my dignity in his eyes. Nik knelt down in front of me and gently placed his hands on my shoulders.

  “Look at me.”

  I shook my head, the tears splattering on the ground and mixing with the misty rain.

  “Look at me!” he demanded again. When I didn't, he lifted me by the shoulders as he stood up, forcing me to do the same. I kept my focus on the ground. I couldn't look at him, or anyone who knew what I'd done. He let go of one of my shoulders and grabbed my jaw. If I had been human, he would have left bruises.

  “Stop that!” Nik spat, no sympathy in his voice.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at him. How could he be this mean? Even for Nik, this was downright cruel. But then he surprised me.

  “This is my fault,” he stated. His voice sounded as though he were ordering coffee, nothing more.

  “How?” I whimpered.

  “I let you get too hungry. I wasn't taking care of you like I should.”

  “When's the last time you drank? And yet you don't go around murdering people.”

  Nik nodded. “I am very thirsty. But remember, I've had a lot more time to learn self-control. You'll get there.”

  But it was my fault. No one forced me to jump that woman and tear her shoulder open. He hadn't made me what I was. His taking the blame wasn't actually very helpful. “Please, please just kill me. I can't take this. I can't do this!”

  He gripped my face even tighter, his fingers like numerous iron monkey wrenches. “I will not kill you,” he said slowly, making sure I grasped the message. Sure, now he didn’t want to kill me.

  Make up your freaking mind!

  “You will learn control and you will learn to bury the guilt… or deal with it in some way,” he added.

  “But I'm evil.”

  “We're all evil to one extent or another. But that doesn't mean we can't find redemption.”

  “I doubt we could ever… ” I couldn't finish my statement.

  “Who are you to limit redemption?” He paused. “No matter what you do, I will not kill you.”

  “Until Mikhail changes his mind,” I muttered.

  “Not for this. This is easy to cover up, to hide. It is only those indiscretions that threaten to expose us that he will kill over. Besides, you're young,” Nik added as he released my face.

  “When will that no longer be an acceptable excuse?” I asked, feeling in no way mollified.

  “Not for at least a couple years.”