by L. J. Fine
She just needed him.
The muscles of his arms tensed under her touch and he resisted her tugging. Instead, he caught her hands in his and pinned them above her head. So, in the end, she got what she wanted anyway.
“Tell me,” he rumbled against her lips. The hot, wet tip of his erection slid through her folds and bumped against her clit as he settled over her. She whimpered, her hips arching upward to seek more contact of their own volition. “Do you ache for me the way I ache for you ever damn time I see you?”
His amber gaze bored into hers, imploring her to answer with a kind of tense vulnerability and she knew she would never get that look out of her head as long as she lived. He was talking about more than sex here and she felt her heart swell as it picked up speed.
Swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat, she said, “Ben, I ache for you even when I don’t see you. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything even remotely as much as I want you.”
At her words, his intense look transformed into one of immense satisfaction and he slid his palms against hers to twine their fingers. “Then you got me, Sugar.” His pet name for her came out on a moan which she echoed as he began to push into her. “All of me,” he said as he slid inside her to the hilt.
He took her mouth in a fierce kiss as his hips took up a steady, languid rhythm, working his cock in and out of her pussy. Emma opened wider for him, his deep measured strokes taking her higher. Then he started to slowly circle his hips. Thrust, circle, thrust, circle until her nails dug into the backs of his hands and she wrenched her mouth away from his to let out a near scream.
“Ben,” she moaned. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” If he stopped right now she would die. And she would take him with her. She was right there, right on the edge and she knew this orgasm was going to be monumental, bordering on painful. She didn’t care, she wanted it anyway.
“I can feel you squeezing me, baby.” He grunted. “You wanna come?”
“Ah, yeah, yeah.” It was all she could manage as their bodies moved together and she could feel herself reaching that point of no return.
He growled against her ear and the sound vibrated along her nerve endings, making her inner walls spasm in delight. “Fuck, Emma. Come, come for me.”
That was all she needed to hear and she went off like a rocket beneath him, calling his name, heedless of the noise she made. The feel of him shuddering and jerking inside her at the same moment, his hot cum spurting into her, had another orgasm hitting her before the first one ended. He was still marking her and she wanted it, loved it.
When he collapsed on her, gently rocking his hips into her to bring them both back down, she welcomed his weight, body trembling with little aftershocks. But unbidden and out of nowhere a disturbing thought entered her brain that had her stilling in his arms.
“What’s wrong?” he asked nibbling at her jaw and she forced her body to relax into his.
“Nothing at all,” she lied.
He pulled back to look down at her. “You sure?”
“Positive.” She smiled reassuringly, hoping it was convincing. After studying her for a long moment, he seemed to be satisfied with what he saw and rolled over onto his side, pulling her into his body.
“Go to sleep then, Sugar.” He nipped her throat. “You keep waking me up like that and we’ll both be exhausted and never get out of bed.”
Snuggling into him, she laughed and acquiesced but she knew that sleep was a long way off. All she could think about as she lay in his arms was the revelation she’d had moments before.
That she was utterly and completely in love with this man.
Chapter Twelve
“Emma.”
Ben’s soft voice filtered through her subconscious, tugging her into wakefulness. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open to see his handsome face hovering above hers, a soft smile curving his lush lips. She could definitely get used to waking up to this. “Time to get up, Sugar.”
Seeing she was awake, he gently kissed her lips before he stood to gather his shoes and she saw that he was fully dressed already. With a yawn she sat up, uncaring that the sheet dropped to her lap. “What time is it?”
“It’s about eight,” he said turning toward her. Heat immediately filled his eyes as his gaze dropped down to her bared breasts. He licked his lips and slowly brought his eyes back to hers. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and she felt a blush heat her skin at the reverent sincerity in his tone.
However, when he didn’t reach for her, just stood and made his way to the door, she had to bite back her disappointment.
“Get dressed, baby.” He looked at her over his shoulder. “Before I come back over to that bed and fuck your brains out.”
“I wouldn’t stop you.” Good grief, had that husky tone come from her?
He groaned. “Don’t tempt me. Bad enough I have to wait to get you home instead of waking you up like I did last night. Unless you want my brother to come home and hear us?”
He arched a challenging eyebrow at her.
Immediately her whole body flushed for an entirely different reason. She had completely forgotten about Adam. “I’m getting dressed.”
Low laughter trailed after him as he exited the room and shut the door behind him.
Quickly, she dressed and used the bathroom before making her way down the hall to find Ben in the kitchen. This time no coffee or sizzling bacon greeted her but she felt so much better about her situation with her man this morning. And he was hers, every bit as much as she was his. She wasn’t exactly sure how their relationship would work from here, but they had time to figure it out.
“I’m surprised Adam isn’t back yet.” Actually, it was probably a good thing that he wasn’t home. She didn’t know how she would be able to look him in the eye knowing that he knew damn well that Ben had made love to her in his spare bedroom. More than likely he already knew what went down, but he didn’t need to have the visual evidence of it the morning after.
Ben got up from the kitchen table when he saw her enter the room.
“I’m surprised he’s ever home at all,” he said wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her into his body. “But I’m glad he’s gone right now.” His lips covered hers in a gentle kiss. She loved the way he tasted and she wanted more. Bringing her arms up and sifting her fingers through his hair, she pulled him closer and slid her tongue against the seam of his lips. He opened for her and touched their tongues together, letting her explore his mouth at her leisure.
On a groan, he pulled away from her. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.” He pushed his hips into her, letting her feel the hard length of him rubbing against her belly. “The sooner I get you home, the sooner I can be inside you again.”
That sounded like a brilliant plan to her, she thought trying to reign in her simmering libido.
This was a much more pleasant drive than the last one she had experienced in his truck. One of his hands remained firmly linked with hers and resting in her lap. They rode in comfortable silence but every once in a while she would catch him looking at her. She saw contentment in that stare coupled with what looked like disbelief. That they were together? That she was even real? That was what she was thinking when she looked at him, anyway.
Never in her life had she ever felt like this with another person. Despite all of his heretofore less than desirable qualities, he had gotten under her skin. She had fallen for him so hard and so fast and it wasn’t just a little frightening, especially given the uncertainty of just how much she meant to him. Would he even want to continue seeing her once she went back to the city? Seemed like he did, but they had never really spelled it out. And if he did, what would that look like? Would one of them eventually have to move? She cringed at the idea of being a permanent resident of this town. As much as she loved Chloe and Ben’s brothers, she absolutely abhorred the way the people here treated him.
She took a deep breath. They would figure it out when they got to it.
“You oka
y?” he asked, squeezing her fingers.
Masking her unease over their future, she shot him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’m good.”
His eyes narrowed.
“You sure?” He looked back at the road as they pulled up to his house. “Because I know you’d tell me if –” he trailed off when he caught a glimpse at his driveway.
“Holy shit,” she breathed when she followed his line of focus.
His motorcycle, his pride and joy that he had built from the ground up, lay in crushed pieces scattered all over the pavement. It looked like a car, or a heavy duty truck, more likely, had run the thing over. Multiple times. Angry red letters had been spray painted over the white door of his garage but she was too focused on Ben, his reaction, to comprehend what they said.
“Son of a motherfucking bitch,” he spat, putting the truck in park and turning it off before jumping out.
Scrambling out of her seatbelt, she quickly followed him. He studied the damage to his bike briefly before his eyes locked on the garage door and stayed there, the muscle frantically ticking in his jaw.
That’s when the red words registered and bile instantly rose in her throat. The words were a message and a warning for both of them saying:
Next thing to get ripped apart with be your whore.
Unconsciously, she wrapped her arms around her middle and tried to hold down the need to vomit. Is that what Paul had planned to do to her last night? Tear her to pieces?
She felt grateful all over again for Adam’s impeccable timing. His twin, however, remained eerily silent, just stared at the garage door with murderous intent written all over his face. What the hell must he be thinking right now?
A twinge of guilt ricocheted through her and she couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible. If she hadn’t show up into town with her ridiculous, half-cracked schemes to improve her writing, she never would have latched onto him and his bike would still be in pristine condition.
“Ben,” she started, stepping toward him, trying to figure out what to say on her way over there. But it didn’t matter anyway because his soft words cut her off.
“You should go.”
“What?” Instantly, she recoiled from the brisk finality in his tone. He thought it was her fault too, then. But she couldn’t just do what he said without at least trying to talk to him.
“I said, you should go,” he repeated, turning his back to her to go to his truck, and click the button to open the garage door. “Call Chloe to come pick you up. She should be home by now.”
He calmly walked into his garage and grabbed a bucket and some cleaner before filling it with water in the utility sink. Too calm. And he did all of this without looking at her once.
Now she started to get pissed. Underneath the anger, though, lived panic. He was shutting her out again and dread settled like a lead ball in the pit of her stomach. “I’m not just going to leave you here, Ben.”
Pulling the garage door down but not closing it the whole way, he said nothing as he started scrubbing at the spray paint, leaving his bike to lie in a million little pieces on the ground.
For a few seconds she stood, not knowing what to do with herself. Then she spotted the box of heavy duty garbage bags sitting on a bench in the garage. She ducked under the door and grabbed them.
“What are you doing?” he snapped taking the box from her before she knew he had moved. “Seriously, knock it off and call Chloe. I’ll clean this shit up.”
Letting out an exasperated huff, she put her hands on her hips. “Look, I know that this is my fault so at least let me help –”
“No.” The one word cut her off again, his dark, whiskey-colored eyes bored into hers. “Don’t you dare think for one second that this is your fault. It’s mine. Entirely.” His eyes drifted back to the door briefly before he dropped his head and rested his hands on his lean hips.
“Damn it, Emma. This is so fucked up,” he whispered it but the broken sound still hit her ears and just about ripped her heart out of her chest.
“Yeah, it is.” That had him looking at her again. “Why aren’t you calling the cops?”
A laugh escaped him, bitter and unpleasant. “Because it would be pointless. I can’t prove shit and the cops around here don’t give a fuck what happens to me.”
Rage started low in her gut and boiled through her veins to eventually come out of her mouth. “That is such bullshit,” she bit out, digging her phone out of her picket. “I’m calling the police.”
He snatched the phone out of her hands, punched a few buttons then turned his back on her before pressing it to his ear. His sudden actions perplexed her too much for her to have to reflexes to stop him. After a minute he began to speak.
“Hey, Chloe. No, it’s Ben.” He shot Emma a look over his shoulder. “Listen, can you come pick Emma up? She’s at my house.” His eyes never left hers as he spoke and she felt like all the air had been sucked from her lungs. “No, I can’t right now,” he said into the phone and averted his eyes. “Okay, thanks. See you in a few.”
He hit the end button and tossed her the phone.
“I can’t believe you just did that.” The agitation came out clear in her voice and she was more than fine with that. He needed to hear it. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
Meeting her angry stare with his own of equal potency, he said, “Because I’m a worthless bastard who doesn’t deserve you or your help.”
Of all the things he could have said, that one she expected the least and it pissed her off even more. “Shut the hell up, Ben. You know that’s not true.”
“Yeah, actually it is. I’m not good for you, Emma. Open your damn eyes,” he bit out, gesturing toward the graffiti on the door in front of them.
Oh, she wasn’t about to let him go there. “You didn’t do that. You aren’t the one that wants to hurt me. That’s all Paul, baby.”
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “He’s only doing this as retaliation for some fucked up shit that I did do. I didn’t kill Tim, not directly, but I shouldn’t have been into the shit I was into and I never should have dragged Tim down with me. People don’t change, Emma, and if you stay I’ll just drag you down too.”
“But you have changed!” She screamed it at him. How could she get it through his stubborn head, make him see, that he was so much better than he ever gave himself credit for? “You’ve learned from those mistakes that, by the way, you made when you were a kid. You aren’t the same person that you were back then.”
“No, I really haven’t.” He shook his head and turned tired, resigned eyes to her. “I’m not into drugs and alcohol anymore, but I’m still listless. I’m just drifting around here, no ambition or direction. Why do you think I have so many fucking jobs? There’s no substance here, Sugar.” He gestured between them and suddenly her mouth went dry. “I know you have this idea of what your man should be and you’re justified in wanting what you want. But I can’t live up to it.”
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides and she fought back the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. “All I want is you. You are everything I want my man to be. Just you.”
Her tone had turned to pleading but that was okay. She was pleading with him. To see reason, to understand that he was her ideal and she didn’t want anyone else.
Closing his eyes, he dropped his head before he took up staring at the ground, her words and their meaning not penetrating, just bouncing right off of him. “I’m good for a quick fuck, that’s all. You deserve so much better than that.”
Her entire body vibrated from the force of her anger. But she couldn’t change the way he felt and knew that nothing she said would make a difference. He was determined to suffer as some form of penance for something he perceived to be his fault. He truly believed everything the ridiculous people of this town said about him and it filled her with hopelessness.
Behind him, she saw Chloe’s car pull up to the curb, but her friend didn’t exit the vehicle, God b
less her.
Following her gaze, Ben turned to see Chloe, then looked back at Emma. The regret, anguish and stubborn resolve she saw in his expression knocked the wind right out of her.
“So I guess there’s really nothing left to say then, is there?” she asked softly, feeling tears of frustration prickling behind her eyes, but she held them in check, refusing to let him see.
He said nothing, just continued to look at her like his entire world was falling apart and he lacked the will to stop it. So she nodded.
“Okay, you’ve said your piece, now let me say mine and I’ll go away. I didn’t want to drop this on you like this but I don’t think I’ll get another chance and you need to know.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Ben.”
His expression turned fierce and the astonished pain she saw there pierced right through her. “I love you for exactly who you are, not who you were, or who other people think you are. I know everything there is to know about you, Ben and I’m. Not. Running. Away. So, when you get out of your own way and stop letting your past dictate who you are. When you can see yourself the way I see you, come and find me.”
Despite the flicker of emotion her ardent words had first produced in him, his countenance remained stoic and immovable and when she started toward Chloe’s car he said nothing. But she hadn’t really expected anything else. She had done all she could and knew that her sudden declaration wouldn’t change things. At least she had gotten it out there and wouldn’t have to live with wondering ‘what if?’
But as she walked away, she knew she was leaving part of herself in that driveway with him. Whether he wanted it or not, she left it to tangle in the heap of broken motorcycle parts at his feet and it would cling to him forever as apiece of her soul that could never be recovered.
Chapter Thirteen
“First round’s on me,” Chloe happily declared as soon as their group got settled at a table in the corner of the crowded bar. A bar that was decidedly not Abel’s.
Murmuring the name of the first alcoholic drink she could think of, Emma warily eyed the throng of people around her, wondering why she had agreed to come out in the first place. Rationalizing to herself that she didn’t want to be accosted by Paul did no good. In actuality, she didn’t want to run into Ben. And she didn’t want to find out what her stupid heard might make her do if she did.
