“Thanks for the ice.”
“Yeah, sure. It’s not a big deal.”
“You can go back to sleep now. I promise I won’t get out of mine again tonight. I bet you didn’t know I was such a klutz.”
“You’re fine, Cassie.”
I didn’t close my eyes when I got back in bed, not until the light turned out and I heard her climb on her mattress. The next time I woke the sun had came up. Cassie was sitting in bed watching television with the volume turned down. “What time is it?” I inquired.
“Seven. I didn’t want to wake you, especially after last night’s episode. You’re probably sorry you brought me along.”
“Nope. It’s nice having the company.”
When I got up from my bed to head into the bathroom, I heard her say something under her breath.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
She seemed shocked. “You weren’t supposed to hear me.”
“Woman, I have the hearing of a bat. Nothing gets past me.”
“I was wondering if you sleep in just your underwear every night.”
“Does it bother you? I’m covered.”
“You’re pretty awake from the looks of it.” She pointed toward my crotch, causing me to look down and see my stiff erection poking the fabric of my shorts like a sideways teepee.
“Oh, shit. It’s got a mind of it’s own in the morning. Sorry.”
She laughed. “It’s a natural reaction I suppose. Now you know why I didn’t want you to hear me.”
I left her with an amused grimace before entering the bathroom to get cleaned up. When I came out from showering and brushing my teeth, Cassie was dressed and ready to go. Her clothes were different from the ones she’d worn the night before, and her normally flowing dark brown hair was pulled up in a tight ponytail. “Do you need to use the bathroom before we head out?”
“I did everything before you woke up. I was just waiting to get dressed so I’d be comfortable. I wasn’t sure how long you needed to sleep before you were fully recuperated.”
“Are you hungry?”
“I could eat. Breakfast is my favorite meal.”
“Yeah, I noticed. We share a love for pancakes, remember?” We’d had pancakes several times since she’d been staying with us. I didn’t mind at all, since I too had a preference for them.
“Let’s get out of here then. Time is wasting.”
We found a diner off the main highway to eat at. We shared a pot of coffee and had a stack of pancakes each. Cassie was the first to finish. “I think I’ve gained ten pounds in the past week. If I keep eating like this I’ll weigh more than the cattle my father raises.”
It was hard to picture her overweight when she was still so tiny. I wondered if she took after her mother, and if her other siblings were as good looking as she was. Cassie definitely had good genes. Those eyes, so green and alluring, they did things to me, especially when we were in situations as this. In another life I could have seen myself doing everything possible to be with her; to know her completely. I knew once she was home there was a good chance I’d never see her again. It wouldn’t be worth it to spark something up that could never amount to anything.
Still, a man could dream about it, and that’s exactly what I’d done last night, with her in the bed beside mine. I wanted to feel bad about it, but something wouldn’t let me. Then I got a great idea to make a pit stop and do something fun. At least I could fill her with fun times before I left her in shock and hating me. “Have you ever been skiing?”
“Sure. My uncle in Kentucky had a place in the mountains. I used to love going there with my cousins.”
“Then it’s settled. We’re hitting the slopes as soon as we make it to the other side of Colorado. Are you game?”
“Hell yeah.”
Knowing we were about to have some quality time together, aside from our long journey, made me feel better. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her yet. The only problem with my new and exciting plan was the idea of having too much fun and never wanting it to end.
Chapter 25
Cassie
This guy was making it hard for me to focus on everything else going on in my life. He’d taken me in, provided me shelter, clothes, and food. Now he was taking me places, and going out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. I wanted to believe he was just being a good agent, but I wasn’t that naïve.
I may have had terrible luck with men, but I knew when one was interested more than being a friend. This trip was the perfect opportunity to get to know him on a more personal level, and I’m not talking about what color his sheets were at home. I already knew that from doing the laundry. I’m talking about the chemistry I felt when we were in certain circumstances together. I hadn’t noticed it before, back when I’d first come to live with him. It was more in the recent couple weeks. He’d been different. It’s what made me want to apologize and start over. I could tell it bothered him that I was still holding a grudge. He’d done his job. Yes, I’d lost my boyfriend because of my involvement with the authorities, but Brant was in the wrong, not Logan.
After leaving the diner, I decided to drive for a while. Logan seemed to be in a good mood. He moved his hands to the beat of the music and sang along to a few songs. Then we got on the conversation of favorite bands. From there we talked about our favorite movies, coming to learn we had similar tastes.
Throughout the day we discussed many books, childhood experiences, and even some things we did as teenagers. The longer I spent confined to a small area with Logan, the more I wanted to know. He was the most interesting man I’d ever known. I kept thinking how much my parents would have approved, which made me want to cringe. This was the guy they would have picked for me. He had a good paying job, he was responsible, he had values, and most of all, he wasn’t a criminal. He’d saved my life in more than one way.
He was also another reason why I couldn’t go home. I didn’t want them knowing I was living with another man; one I could see myself getting closer to. They’d say I was moving too fast; that I’d pushed myself into his life, or that he only helped me because I’d turned my back on them.
Another thing that made me nervous was the fact that some things are just too good to be true. There had to be flaws about him. There had to be something he was hiding from me. No man could fit so perfectly in my life. There were no exceptions. He either had deep dark secrets or I’d died and this was all some alternate life in a purgatory reality. Maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there at all. It was possible he was just a nice guy trying to help. Maybe the chemistry I thought was there was just courtesy. For all I knew, he could have been gay, just like Charlie. Maybe he thought I was disgusting, after being strung out and sleeping with my criminal boyfriend, knowing he’d been running around on me. The reasons were almost endless.
It was obvious I was making excuses for not wanting to see if something was happening between us. I’d be a fool to think a couple days at a ski resort wasn’t going to result in either an opportunity for something new, or proof that I was losing my mind.
Almost a month ago I’d lost the man I thought I loved wholeheartedly. Believing someone was my future and finding out he was everything but that had crushed me. My poor judge of character left me vulnerable. I wondered if it was love at all. Can you love someone you don’t fully know? If it was love, why was it getting easier to let go? Why was I imagining someone else making me happy?
With so many questions hovering in my mind, I feared I was acting out of desperateness. Perhaps I was codependent, and needed someone in my life to be happy. It was all too much to think about, especially with one of the men in question only twelve inches from where I sat.
Logan navigated us through the mountains to find the resort we’d be spending the next two days. When we pulled up into the parking lot I felt like I was dreaming. It was beautiful. The cedar logged lodge was more like a mansion. It was three levels with huge windows surrounding the whole building. Since it w
as a weekday, it wasn’t very crowded. I was able to pull into a front parking spot to make it easy to carry in our bags and get registered. Of course, Logan handled my bag, insisting it wasn’t a big deal.
Right before he walked up to the front desk he stopped and turned in my direction. “I forgot to ask. Are you okay sharing a room again, or do you want me to see how much two will be?”
I didn’t know how to answer. If I told him it was okay to share, he might think I was easy. If I said to get two rooms, he might think I didn’t enjoy being around him. “Um, you pick. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“Well since we have to rent ski’s, and probably get some heavier clothes to wear, let’s just share one room. The internet said they were pretty large anyway.”
“That’s fine with me. Like I said, either way.”
Several minutes later we trekked to our shared room. The moment Logan opened the door for me I wondered if this had been his plan all along. Had this road trip given him a reason to make a move? Had he been getting us rooms together to see if something would happen between us?
I decided to stop worrying about it and let it play out. Neither of us were in a relationship. We were currently residing in the same house. Having been around each other for weeks, it wasn’t surprising something could be happening between us, especially now after discovering how much we had in common.
I didn’t know if I was ready to date, and certainly not fall into another serious commitment, but I was human and I’d been hurt pretty badly. I was still entitled to live out my life, and if I wanted to explore what was happening between me and this man I had to chill the hell out.
The room was spacious. The beds were a good eight feet apart and a wide end table was positioned between them. There was a full sized round table in the corner of the room with four chairs. A recliner was in the other corner with a lamp hung behind it to read. The glass windows were the full length of the room. The mountains were the only view we had. It was tranquil and serein. “This is insane. Come check out this view,” I suggested.
“Come check out this bathroom,” he countered.
I hurried to the opposite side of our room to find him standing in the middle of a large bathroom. A two person Jacuzzi tub took up the whole one side. A double sink was on the opposite side, and in a separate room sat a commode. “Holy crap. Did you pay extra for this?”
“No. It’s the standard room.” He noted. “I may never want to leave.”
“Well, it’s getting pretty late in the afternoon. We’re going to need to eat, and I’m sure it would be better for our skiing tomorrow if we had the proper gear and jackets. I know it’s winter, but you and I both know it’s not very cold in Vegas. Just walking in this place made me feel like I was going to freeze to death.”
“I’ve got a heavy coat in my trunk that will be fine. I can double up. We’ll still need to get you something, and then grab two pair of pants so we’re not getting hypothermia.”
I didn’t have much money to my name, but I knew this was an opportunity to enjoy myself for the first time in a long while. If I needed to spend some of it to get the necessary gear, I was going to do it. “Should we go now?”
“Yeah. The sooner we get done the faster I can put my ass in that jacuzzi.”
“You may have to fight me for first dibs.” My response caused a ornery smirk across his face. I had to look away to avoid feeling uncomfortable. If this was just my imagination, I was definitely losing my mind.
Chapter 26
Logan
I was probably getting myself into a situation I’d later find it hard to get out of. It didn’t take a genius to see something was going on between us. She was happy, and it seemed contagious. We clicked, unlike I’d been able to do with plenty of other women. While knowing this was only going to be temporary, I felt like I had every right to be selfish. If the two of us were on the same page, why not act on it? We were both adults, fully capable of stopping if we felt the need to. I was willing to let it ride, even though I knew our goodbye would probably be final. There was a chance I’d never see Cassie again, once I took her home, and I had to be okay with it.
The resort had it’s own shops, so it took us no time at all to find what we needed and reserve our equipment for the next day. While downstairs we located the restaurant to grab some dinner. Just like the views from our room, the snow capped mountains were all the eyes could see, unless they were staring at Cassie. Her eyes were like getting lost in heaven; like going to a place I never wanted to leave.
“I think we should play cards tonight.”
“I’m not into gambling,” I replied.”
“We don’t have to bet anything, silly. Haven’t you ever played for fun?”
I had to look down at my empty plate for a moment to gather myself. “When I was a kid I used to play cards with my family. We kept a tally. You know that box you found with the charred remains of my things? The notebook is still in there.” I turned and stared out the window for a second. “Sorry. I keep that box sealed because I still can’t handle dealing with the secrets it holds.”
She reached across the table and touched my hand, gently bringing me back to reality. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. I was in the wrong for going through it.”
“I would have done the same thing.”
“You investigate things for a living. I’m was a nosey bitch with a drug problem, who’d just caused her boyfriend to be murdered. There’s a huge difference.”
Her hand was still lingering over mine. “I appreciate the sentiment, Cassie. I know you’ve been through hell. Trust me, I get it.”
She finally pulled away. “I know being with him was a mistake. I know I had blinders on for a long time when it came to Brant. I should have never left home.”
“Shit happens. We have to keep going.”
“It’s hard sometimes.” She played with her silverware. “I feel like a jerk sometimes, especially when I think about being with other people.”
Right away she had my undivided attention. Was she referring to me?
She continued. “I don’t mean that literally, it’s more like if it were to happen with someone I don’t know if I’d be against it. Isn’t that terrible?”
“You have to do what makes you happy. That’s how I look at it. What’s done is done. He may have been a lousy boyfriend, but I’m sure he’d want you to go on with your life. He’d want you to be happy.”
“I suppose. It’s hard to picture though. There’s still a lot of guilt.”
“I admire your ability to see the good in people, and to carry the burdens of other people’s sins.”
“You see the good in people as well. I noticed it right way.”
If she kept talking like this I was going to ask if we could skip dinner and share the water in the hot tub. Thankfully, our waiter came to interrupt the seriousness of the conversation.
Of course she ordered a steak with a baked potato and a bowl of homemade chili. She skipped the salad and asked if she could just have another loaf of bread and the honey butter they served with it when they first seated us. I asked for the same thing and laughed the moment the waiter walked away.
“What,” she asked. “You ordered the same food.”
“I’m double the size of you.”
“Not for long it appears.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a woman who enjoys a big piece of meat.” The moment the words left my lips I saw her face react.
We both cracked up, grabbing the attention of the patrons around us. “You’re a funny person, Logan Campbell. I regret keeping my distance for the past couple weeks.”
“It’s probably better. You’d be tired of me by now and wouldn’t have come on this awesome road trip with me. Just wait. It’s only a matter of time before you tell me to get away from you.”
“I doubt it. You’re like me, just the guy version, personality of course. You didn’t run away with a loser and become a drug addict.”
�
��How about we don’t talk about our pasts? Wouldn’t it be nice to just be us for a few days?”
She smiled. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I keep bringing it up. It must be annoying as shit.”
“I’m used to it. It’s the healing process.” To be honest, I was tired of the back and forth. I didn’t want to talk about my family and the pain losing them had caused me. I spent half my adolescence in therapy, learning how to accept what I’d never be able to change. Cassie had to figure this out on her own. I understood she didn’t have anyone else to talk to about it, and I honestly didn’t mind offering support, but she kept giving me mixed signals. I hadn’t brought her on this trip to get into her pants. Sure, if it happened it would be a nice surprise, but the constant guilt she was feeling had to stop. “I just want you to see how your life is just beginning. The road to happiness is free of traffic. It’s your time to shine. You need to seize every opportunity you get. Be optimistic. Be everything you know you deserve to be.”
“You need to be one of those guys who travels around the world preaching positivity.”
“If the FBI gig doesn’t pan out I’ll keep that as a backup plan.”
Our second loaf of bread was delivered. I pulled it toward me to get a rise out of her. “I call the heel.”
“There’s two of them, goofball.”
“I get both then.”
She reached across the table and took it from me, shoving one end in between her teeth and tearing off a piece. She was giggling so much I assumed she was going to choke, but she managed to get it all down without problems. Then she handed it back to me with a mouthful still in her cheek. “I couldn’t help myself.”
I bit the other end, settled to the fact that we were good when we let go of everything else. I needed to practice the same methods as I was preaching. “I changed my mind about the card game. I think I’d like to play when we get back to the room, after I get in the Jacuzzi of course. You may have stolen the first bite of bread, but my ass has dibs on that for sure. If I have to lock you out of the bathroom I will.”
Cassie (The Mitchell/Healy Family #6) Page 15
