by J. M. Walker
“No such thing.” His jaw clenched.
“Don’t leave me,” I begged.
“You left me,” he snapped, shoving out of my grip.
I fell to my knees at the abrupt move, digging my fingers into the carpet. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry,” he scoffed. “Jay, I fucking love you. Do you understand that? Do you know what that even means? Do you know how hard it is for me to love someone? I don’t even know if I love my brothers. I can’t know. I never knew how to love until I met you. Can you get that through your stubborn-as-hell head? Can you?”
“Angel, I said I was sorry. I didn’t want to leave but seeing you in that bed, I can’t…I’m not strong enough to be without you.”
A heavy hand wrapped in my hair, pulling my head back.
I gasped at the sudden movement, staring up into Angel’s dark eyes. They were black, enraged with fury.
“Don’t you fucking say that to me again,” his voice was rough, laced with a darkness I had never heard before. “You got me?”
“I…”
“I said, do you got me?”
I nodded, swallowing hard.
“No woman should ever feel they are weak without a man. You don’t need me to survive. We need each other. We make each other strong together and alone. You do not need me. Not in the way you think.”
“I do. I do need you,” I pleaded, gripping his wrist.
“No!” he yelled. “Listen to me good, little girl. You are strong. You are the strongest woman…no…the strongest person I know. You can take on men twice your size. You can take on a group of them. You think you need your sisters, me, these men you are trying so hard to impress but all you need is yourself. You need to love yourself first before you can let anyone in. I get that. I need to as well. But the difference between you and me is I know that I don’t need anyone else to build me up. Fuck everyone, Jay. Fuck Vice-One. Fuck Dante’s Kings. And fuck King’s Harlots. You are all that matters. We are all that matter. You and I.”
“I don’t know how to be alone,” I confessed, shocked at my outburst.
Angel sat back on his haunches, cupping my cheek. “Yes you do. What did you do before me? Before Violet left?”
“She was always around. I was the only one who understood her. We’re twins, Angel. She’s a part of me, and no matter what, I’ll never be alone.”
“You can’t depend on that. I don’t know Violet, but I have a feeling she wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”
I sat back, pulling my head out of his grip. “No. You’re right. You don’t know her.”
A shadow passed over his face. “If you’re going to keep fighting with me, I’m done. I can’t play these games with you. I’m too old for this shit.” He pushed to his feet.
“No!” I grabbed his leg. “Please. God, I’m sorry. I don’t know…” Tears streamed down my face. Shame and anger bubbled up from that deep part of myself that I could no longer control. I knelt at his feet, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry. I love you. I’m confused. I’m so fucking confused.”
“What the hell is so confusing?” He tried pulling out of my hold but my grip tightened. “Jay, let go of me. You walked away last time. Now, I am walking away. I won’t let you rip my heart out again.”
“I didn’t…I…”
“What, Jay? What didn’t you do? You didn’t rip out my heart? You didn’t mean to? You’re sorry?”
“Please.” I couldn’t…I couldn’t do this anymore.
“Please what? Tell me, Jay,” he demanded. “Tell me what has you so scared.”
“I can’t.” The words wouldn’t leave my mouth.
“Tell me!” he bellowed, forcing me back on my ass. “Tell me.”
“I’m scared you’ll leave and not come back, all right? I’m terrified I’ll get the call that you’re dead and…and…I know I shouldn’t worry. I know that. But I can’t help it. I can’t live like this. I can’t go day to day, scared you won’t come home to me. I—”
Warm lips crushed to mine, a tongue forcing its way into my mouth. Angel growled, wrapping his hand around my throat and deepening the kiss. He controlled what I gave him. He took what he needed, giving me back everything he could.
The kiss was hard, rough, but it was called-for. We snapped, giving into our desires for the other. It was wrong. On so many levels. Sex didn’t solve anything. It only put a mask over our true feelings.
“Fuck, Jay. I need your mouth. I need your body. I need everything about you.” He stared intently into my eyes, licking his kiss-swollen lips. “But most of all, I need your heart. Please don’t hold that back from me.”
My body trembled against him, desire for him unfurling deep in the pits of my belly. “I…”
“I’m giving you my heart, baby. Everything about me is yours. Everything I am is yours. I accept you. All of you. I don’t care what you’ve done in your past. I don’t care who you’ve been with. I don’t care about your club. You,” he poked me gently in the chest, “you are all I care about. Your happiness. Your safety. Your love. Please let me have your heart.”
“I…I want that. I want all of that.” I took a breath, wrapping my arms around his thick neck and straddled his lap. “Please forgive me for walking out on you. I can’t move on if I don’t know that we’re okay. I am sorry.”
“We’re strong, baby. I am your fucking King, and I will stand at your side and be by you every step of the way. I’ll go to hell and back for you. I’ll destroy everything in my path to get to you. This will be hard. Every relationship is. But I’m not giving up.”
“I know,” I whispered, allowing myself to get lost in his dark eyes.
A small smile spread on his face. “Let me love you.”
I wrapped my body around him, a thin barrier of clothing keeping us apart. I missed him. I needed him. But I loved him most. “Yes. Love me. Love me with all of you. Every inch. Every breath.”
“Then do the same to me.” He kissed me hard on the mouth, running his hands up my back. “Love me hard, baby. Love me with every fiber of your being. Love me with every inch of your beautiful body.”
“Yes,” I circled my hips against him, feeling the weight of his erection pressing into my core. “Angel.”
His hands roamed down to my thighs. Digging his fingers into my flesh, he spread me wide.
“Angel,” I said louder. My body shook, my core quivering with need for the man I loved. The man in my arms. The man holding me, moving against me like he couldn’t get enough.
“Quiet.” He fisted my hair, pulling my head back and caught my mouth in a hard, bruising kiss. With his other hand, it grazed to the small of my back, holding me against him. His hips thrust into mine.
I gasped into his mouth, missing the feel of him taking control. “Please.”
“I said, quiet.” He nipped my lip.
I shook my head, moving my pelvis against his. Hinting.
“I’m in control now, baby.” His lips brushed down my jaw to my ear. “You owe me that much.”
***
(Angel)
Attempting to rein in my feelings of control and rage, I tried hard to push them out of my mind. But our fight forced them to the forefront of my thoughts. Jay had pleaded with me not to leave her. She begged for me to forgive her. But right now I would show her what happens to a man when they go without their woman for several weeks.
My tongue pushed its way into Jay’s mouth, licking along the curve of her lips. Her hips rocked against mine, demanding for me to take control and take what rightfully belonged to me. Call me a dick, but I wanted to make her wait. To build up the anticipation when she had put my heart through so much. I thought I lost her. Everything wasn’t forgotten and I was no longer mad at her but the thought of her fear still nudged at my mind. I refused to let her see that we weren’t meant to be together. However long this lasted, it was ours.
“Angel.”
Jay’s breathy moan sent a shiver down my back
. I tugged her head further, forcing her mouth open wide. I kissed her hard. Devoured her like a starving man. It had been weeks since I tasted her, and fuck me if the wait wasn’t worth it.
I hooked a finger into her panties, brushing my knuckle over her soaked pussy. A growl escaped me. Pulling her toward me, I reached for the knife that I always kept in my pocket and cut the fabric off of her.
She shivered, the cool metal of the blade grazing her mound.
I smiled against her lips and reached into my pants. She swallowed my hiss when my hand came into contact with my cock.
Jay rose to her knees, waiting, and ran her fingers through my hair. Her nails dug into my scalp. A slight burn spread over my skin, forcing me to kiss her harder.
Lifting her, I dropped her in one smooth move onto my dick.
She cried out, throwing her head back.
“Fucking A,” I snarled, pulling her tank top free from her breast and covered the pierced nipple.
“Oh…” She shivered, slamming her hips against mine.
The walls of her pussy tightened around me. I held onto her shoulders, thrusting upwards until she gasped. I fucked her hard. I took from her everything she had to offer. Her love. Her frustration. Her pain. Her fear. I took it all and gave her my heart in return. It was rough. But she held on. It was everything I had to give her. The confusion of never loving anyone. Of not knowing what it was like to be loved.
“Give me all of you,” I breathed, trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck. “Please.”
“Yes. I do.” Jay wrapped her arms around my shoulders, holding me, pouring everything she felt into that touch. Words we had said a moment before disappeared as our lovemaking turned desperate.
“I love you, Genevieve,” I whispered, holding onto her for dear life. I couldn’t take her leaving me again. I couldn’t deal with the loss. I told her not to need me when in fact, I needed her.
“I love you, Angel.”
And we showed each other for the rest of the night just how much we loved the other. Over and over. Until we were both spent and exhausted, sticky from our pleasure and relaxed from the arousal floating around us.
Jay slept soundly, half her body on top of mine with me rubbing small circles on her back. We laid on top of the bed, wrapped in each other. No blankets. No barriers. Just skin against skin. I never knew how much I needed another person or how much I needed the contact of another human being. Jay let out a heavy sigh, wrapping her leg further around my pelvis. My dick twitched, beating against her thigh.
What I would do for her. I loved her. I was still a little pissed about her leaving me at the hospital but I had to get over it. A part of me understood. When everyone she had loved left her, it made it hard for her to see that I wouldn’t do the same.
I wouldn’t. There was nothing about her that would make me leave. Everything she was would make me stay, would make me fall in love with her more.
Vibration jarred in my head. What the hell? I groaned, rolling over and grabbed my cell off the end table careful not to disturb Jay. Not realizing I had fallen asleep, I scrubbed life back into my face before I hit the green button on my phone.
Jay sighed, wrapping herself tighter around me.
“Yeah?” I barked into the phone.
“I need you and Jay to come to my gallery,” Max demanded without so much as a hello.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” Max hung up the phone.
“Who was that?” Jay asked, yawning.
“Max. She wants us to come to her gallery.” I sat up but not before I placed a hard kiss on Jay’s mouth.
She sighed, leaning into me. “I don’t want to leave this bed.”
“Neither do I, princess.” I cupped her cheek, brushing my thumb over her bottom lip.
“Are we good?”
“Yes.” I pinched her chin, forcing her to meet my stare. “We are. Now let’s go see what your best friend wants before I get sucked into your sweetness.”
“Mmm…I love giving you my sweetness.”
“Fuck me,” I snarled into her neck.
She giggled. An actual fucking giggle. For me. And I welcomed it with open arms.
WE WERE fine. Angel and I were…fine. Every so often he would glance my way, his eyes lingering a little too long, almost as if he were concerned I would run again. We had apologized for things we said. We had shown each other that fights happen and relationships were hard but we would make it work. We would live each day for each other.
A tremor of fear still sat deep in the pits of my belly but I wasn’t sure what caused it. Yes, I was scared of Angel’s job taking him away from me. Yes, I was terrified that all this work to find these girls would be for nothing.
“Baby, stop thinking so much.” Angel stepped in front of me and cupped my cheeks. His thumb rubbed the frown between my eyebrows, a small smile splaying on his handsome face.
“Something has changed in me, Angel,” I blurted, a slight flush spreading up the back of my neck.
“How so?” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, guiding us back down the street toward Max’s gallery.
“I’m…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Before you, I never had any issues saying what was on my mind. But now I stumble.”
“And I will catch you every damn time.” He winked at me. “You haven’t changed. You just know that you don’t have to be a bitch to get what you want. You don’t need to impress anyone.”
Didn’t I? It was the one way I could get my club moving forward. I sighed. We needed another member but I honestly had no idea how to even begin searching one out. My sisters and I all started out at the same time. It had been my idea along with the help of Violet but after she disappeared, it gave me the nudge I needed.
“Hi guys.” Max gave us a wave as she headed back inside her gallery carrying a large box.
“I’m going to go help her.” Angel kissed my forehead.
I nodded, watching him walk away. My belly fluttered, that familiar desire for the man burning through me.
“Hey, girl,” Max greeted me, embracing me in a tight hug.
“Hi,” I hugged her back. “What’s all this?” I motioned toward the deliverymen carrying large boxes into the building.
“I’m giving the place a little makeover. I ordered a shit-ton of stuff off the Internet and our home supply store here. Have you ever been in the thrift shop on the other side of town? That place is amazing,” she rambled, placing her hands on her hips and letting out a heavy sigh.
“What’s going on?” Max was not the type of woman to shop unless it was necessary. She saved her money but when something drastic happened, she shopped. And shopped.
Her jaw clenched. “I guess there’s no point beating around the bush, is there?”
“Not really,” I smiled, nudging her playfully in the shoulder.
“Jay.” Her eyes welled.
“What’s wrong?” My heart jumped.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered, pushing a stone around with her shoe.
“Oh, Max.” I wrapped an arm around her, holding her tight against me. “Does Dale know?”
Pinching her nose, she closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely down her cheeks. “Yeah.”
“I assume he didn’t take it well.”
She shook her head, her shoulders trembling.
Angel looked our way, his eyebrow raising. I shook my head. I was sure Dale would tell him anyway.
“He snapped, Jay,” Max said, her voice small. “I’ve never seen him so mad.”
“He’s mad?” I exclaimed. “How the hell can he be mad?”
“He accused me of trapping him.” Her sobs hardened. “We were careful, Jay, but shit happens. We were doing well after the last time. We were trying to make it work. And now…now…” She stood up taller, roughly wiping the tears from under her eyes. “Fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck everyone. Fuck this.” She turned to me abruptly. “I’m done.”
I shook my head. What
the hell just happened? One moment she was sobbing over the guy and the next she was brushing it off like it was nothing? “Max.”
“I’m done,” she repeated, her voice firm.
My eyes searched her face. Determination set deep in her soft features. Her body stiffened, her chin lifted defiantly.
“Are you sure?” I asked, tentatively.
“Yes.” She clapped her hands together. “Now let’s head inside.” She winked at me. “I have a surprise for both of you.” She whistled, walking away barking orders at the deliverymen.
“What was that about?” Angel asked, coming up beside me.
“I have no idea,” I muttered, unsure of what the hell I just witnessed. It was one thing for me to act all cool when shit went down but Max wore her emotions on her sleeve. Whatever Dale said or did to her hardened her. My blood rushed into my ears. My sister bear roared inside of me, wanting to protect my family.
“Jay?” Angel tugged my hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Tell Dale he better get his shit together or he’ll be spitting gravel,” I threatened and walked into the gallery. Not that it was any of my business and I would leave it alone for Max’s sake but a little threat—a promise, so to speak—never hurt.
***
“What is so important that you had to get us out of bed this morning?” I asked Max once we were seated in her studio. Angel and I sat on a couch covered by a black satin sheet.
“This,” Max said, turning her easel toward us.
“Holy shit,” Angel said in awe.
My eyes widened, landing on the picture before me. The canvas held a drawing of Angel and me. It was done in pencil, minor details left out but it was enough that you could tell it was us. Angel’s thick arms wrapped around me. His hand fisted in my curly hair. My face turned up toward him, my lips parted slightly.
“Max, you…” I cleared my throat, squirming in my seat. The drawing oozed passion.
