Callie stepped back, shocked at the sarcasm. She had never seen Lauren this angry. It was more than anger. Hurt swam in Lauren’s eyes. “Fine. Thank you.”
“Out of curiosity, do you expect a bill for the calving lessons I’ve given you? If you do, please, tell me how much to add to your bill. But first, deduct the amount I owe you for various meals and a hundred cups of coffee. Oh, and what’s the going rate for home nursing care? I stayed with you for four days.”
“Add the C-section and leave off the twin calving. As for the other items, I’m not a hotel, restaurant, or nursing home. I helped you because I care about you.”
“Exactly!” Lauren yelled. “That’s all I was trying to do!”
Callie’s shoulders slumped. “You’re not listening. This situation is different.” She held her palms up, pleading for understanding. “I was a kid when I married Liz. I loved her, but she made all our decisions. For the first time in my life I’m making important decisions for myself and I like it. It’s not just about the money. You did it without even asking me. Can you understand that?” Callie ended on a defeated note. The fight had gone from her. She longed to crawl into bed and burrow under the covers.
Lauren shivered and tugged her lab coat closed against the cold day. “I thought we were building something, and that means we help each other. Giving you a break on your bill isn’t controlling you. It’s just…helping.”
“You’re not listening, and you don’t understand me.” Callie shook her head. “I’ve changed my mind. And the horse show on Saturday isn’t such a good idea. Becky is becoming fond of you and I don’t want her hurt if you quit coming to the farm.” She’d be crushed if Lauren vanished from her life. “I want a relationship, but I can’t give up control again.” A sharp pain settled in Callie’s heart at the idea she was chasing Lauren away.
“I hurt your pride and now we’re over?”
“I need to think.”
“As you wish.” Lauren dug through her wallet and extracted the tickets. “Here, you have them and go alone or give them away.” Lauren shoved the tickets to the show at Callie. “You can invite Mitch.”
Callie snatched the tickets and tried to hand them back. “Why don’t you use them?”
“Val and Gwen already have tickets and I’ve nobody else to invite. Anyway, I’m freezing. Enjoy your very controlled, independent life.” Lauren shot the last comment over her shoulder as she whirled and jogged into the clinic.
As she drove home, Callie reflected on how angry she and Lauren had been. They had argued over putting a price on helping each other. And as far as Callie was concerned, if Lauren made financial decisions about Poplarcreek, without talking to her first, the price was too high.
Callie drove faster while her irritation level spiked and her tires skidded at each turn. “Slow down, stupid. Wrecking your truck won’t help.” Taking her own advice, she slowed to a less reckless speed and paid attention to the winter roads. “Shit, shit, shit.”
Callie drove home at a calmer pace. Maybe Lauren meant well, but it was high-handed of her to meddle in her finances. She thought Lauren understood her by now, but obviously not. When the fight was less raw, she’d try again to make Lauren understand. Maybe.
* * *
Lauren stomped into her office and slammed the door while muttering under her breath. “You help somebody, and they always turn on you. Never mind, it’s better this way. And how embarrassing to have that infuriating woman yell at me in front of everyone. I won’t put up with it. She’s ungrateful, unreasonable, and irrational. Life was better before I met her.”
She collapsed into her office chair and allowed her forehead to crack against the edge of her desk as her head dropped. Life wasn’t better before Callie. It was stable and predictable, but boring and lonely. Had she overstepped? “Damn it.” Lauren glanced up and found Janice smirking at her. The smirk changed to a neutral expression in a flash. Had she imagined it? And why did Janice always seem to be lurking? “Yes, Janice?”
“Minnie said the dentistry’s ready and are you coming, or do you want her to do it?”
“I’ll go.” Lauren sighed and trudged into the treatment room. She didn’t mind cleaning a pet’s teeth. Perhaps staring into a slobbery mouth smelling of dog butt and day-old dog food would help her put Callie out of her mind. Minnie had Bucky anesthetized and the dentistry equipment ready for her. “Thanks, Minnie.” Lauren set to work cleaning the dog’s teeth.
Thirty minutes later, Val peeked over her shoulder. “His teeth look good. Are you done soon? Mr. Pips is here.”
“Remind me, Mr. Pips’s pet is a…gerbil?”
Val shook her head. “Not even close, L.C. Mr. Pips is a cat. Velma Peters is his owner.”
“Right, yes. I forgot.”
Val studied Lauren. “It’s not like you to forget a pet’s name.”
Lauren shrugged. She was lucky to remember her own name. It took all her effort to block out Callie’s disappointed expression and concentrate on the dog.
After Lauren had vaccinated the cat, she joined Val for lunch in the PVS staff room. They took turns reheating their lunches and then sat.
Val grinned. “What were you doing to that poor dog? Did he have any teeth left?”
“A few at the back. Buggy will be eating soft food for life, but when his mouth heals, he’s going to be so happy.”
“His name was Bucky.”
“Right, Bucky.”
“So, Lauren…” Val managed to stretch her name into four syllables.
Lauren focused on the ceiling. She sensed an interrogation in her near future. “Yes, Val?”
Val tipped her head to the side and studied her. “How’s Callie these days? Are you two ready to venture into public? I’m meeting friends at the Rainbow Club this weekend. You two are welcome to join us.”
Lauren glared at her square cardboard dish of bland microwave pasta. “Yeah, maybe.”
“What’s going on?”
Lauren raised her head and grimaced.
Val squeezed Lauren’s arm. “Ah, Lauren. What did you do?”
Lauren bristled. “Why do you assume I did something?”
Val smiled, and her left eyebrow arched as she studied Lauren.
Lauren sighed. “I gave Callie a break on her bill. I pretended we had a deal on C-sections and didn’t charge her for one. She was angry and yelled at me. I yelled back and now she’s off thinking.” Lauren put air quotes around the last two words and then snugged her lab coat closed for protection against the memory.
“You were being nice, and she got all uppity?”
Lauren smiled. “Right. I knew you’d understand.”
“She’s ungrateful. I mean, if you give her money she should accept with gratitude, right?”
Lauren squirmed in her seat. “Well, no. It wasn’t like that.”
“It wasn’t? If you pay a bill for her without asking, she should shut up and be grateful. Women, eh?” Val leaned back in her chair, her eyebrows raised.
Lauren sputtered as her emotions darted between annoyance and shame. “You don’t understand. It wasn’t like that.”
“What was it like?” Val whispered.
Lauren held her head in her hands. “I was being nice. Who gets mad when somebody gives them a deal or just does something to help them out? I’m confused. I thought we were in a relationship, of some sort, and that means we help each other. It’s not like there were strings attached or anything.”
“Did you step in and take charge, or did you offer first?” Val motioned at her with her fork. “She wants to be her own woman for the first time in her life. Someone making decisions for her, about anything, is going to piss her off.”
“Okay, maybe I should’ve asked her, but doesn’t everyone want to be taken care of, sometimes?”
“How much of your money did you spend on Max?”
“I don’t know. About four hundred. Callie’s money lasted a week and Fiona told me to ask Callie for more or pay for it mysel
f.”
“Does Callie know about the four hundred?”
Lauren whirled to face Val. “No, and you must never tell her, or I’ll be in worse trouble.”
“I’ll keep your secret. But if you know it will piss her off, you shouldn’t have done it.”
“And what was I supposed to do? Ask her for more money that she doesn’t have? She looked after me after the bull bashed me and I hoped to repay her by giving her a C-section for free.”
“Tell me you didn’t say that to her?” Val gaped at Lauren. “Did you really say you were repaying her for looking after you?”
Lauren glared at her unappetizing lunch and stirred it with violence into a disgusting puree. “Yes, in a way.”
“There you go. Reimbursing her for helping you when she did it because she cares about you was mistake number two.”
“I always looked after T.J. and she never freaked out about it like this.”
“Callie’s not T.J. How do you feel when you’re with Callie?”
“I like her. More than I ever planned to or wanted to, but the last thing I said to her was, ‘Enjoy your very controlled life.’ What do I do now?”
“It wouldn’t hurt to be honest and apologize. Some women would appreciate a gesture like flowers, but I’m not sure about Callie. She’s more straightforward. Like you.”
“You think I was wrong?”
Val sighed. “I know you, and I know you were trying to be helpful, but based on her anger your approach wasn’t okay.”
“Thanks, Val. I’ll consider it, but I think this separation is for the best. Don’t roll your eyes at me. Maybe Callie and I should keep our interactions professional.” Lauren tossed the remains of her uneaten lunch in the trash and fled from the room.
For the rest of lunch, Lauren hid in her office and pretended to read a veterinary journal, but even the article on pneumonia in calves couldn’t hold her interest. All she could think about was Callie and how Callie didn’t understand her need to help, to feel useful to her. Lauren sighed. Callie was gone and she couldn’t decide if that was a good thing. If Callie and Becky were gone from her life, at least her heart wouldn’t be at risk again. But that line was getting old, and it wasn’t a good excuse anymore. What the hell was she supposed to do now?
* * *
As Lauren drove home from work, she examined the argument from Callie’s point of view. Where Lauren thought she was being helpful, Callie saw it as interfering and controlling. Lauren sighed. She didn’t want a professional relationship with Callie. She wanted more. “Damn it.” Callie mesmerized her. Lauren was hooked but filled with conflicting emotions.
There were no ethical rules preventing veterinarians from becoming involved with clients, but it had created an awkward situation. They lived in a small town, and there weren’t enough vets to go around, let alone to always send someone other than Lauren to Poplarcreek. Why could life never be simple? If she admired a woman, and they were both single, why not date? Was she ready for another relationship? Lauren wanted a peaceful life but when she was within ten feet of Callie, her peace drained away. Did she want Callie or peace? Was she ready to risk her heart on another family? The answer to the big questions didn’t come to her. But apologizing was a must.
After dinner, Lauren wrote a letter to Callie. She explained what she did and why and apologized for overstepping. She wrote how much she respected Callie and thanked her for the excellent help after the bull attack. After several drafts and multiple rewrites, it was ready. At the end of the letter, she begged for an opportunity to meet and talk things out. At one in the morning, she drove the thirty minutes to Poplarcreek and put the letter in Callie’s mailbox before she could chicken out.
On her way home, Lauren noticed yard lights on at Kruger Farm and saw a big stock trailer heading down the laneway. It was an odd time to deliver cattle, but who knew what went on over there these days. She just wanted to stay away from them. As she drove on, she forgot the trailer and her thoughts returned to Callie. Maybe it was time to risk her heart again. Callie was worth it.
Chapter Thirty
“And I got a ninety-five on my science project. My teacher said it was one of the best she’d ever seen,” Sam said.
“Good for you, honey. I’m proud of you. Oh, here’s Digit,” Lauren said. It had been four days since the fight with Callie and she’d heard nothing from her. It was a blow to think she’d ruined that burgeoning relationship, but she was Skyping regularly with Sam and sometimes William, and that helped remind her she wasn’t a complete failure at relationships.
“Hi, Digit.” Digit stood on Lauren’s computer and put his nose to the screen when Sam talked to him.
“He thinks you’re here. I better pet him.” She stroked his fur and felt calmer, the way she always did when he was on her lap.
“I get to meet him in person this summer. And Elsa. Bet she’ll cuddle with me.”
“I bet she will.” Lauren cleared her throat. “Is William home tonight?”
“Sorry, Mom. I told him you wanted to talk, but he went out with his friends.”
“I miss him. Please tell him I love him.” She was trying to reconnect with William, but he was often too busy to speak with her. She tried to take it in stride and remember he was eighteen, almost a man, but it hurt.
“I will, but he knows that.”
“Thanks, Sammy.” Lauren sniffled and glanced around the room desperate to change the topic. “The color you picked for your room looks great.” She’d channeled her nervous energy about Callie into spending her weekend painting the spare room for Sam. “Do you want to pick your own furniture when you come in the summer?”
“Yes please, thanks, Mom.”
They chatted for twenty minutes about school, Toronto, and Sam’s friends and then Lauren asked, “Do you like cattle?”
“Cattle?”
“My friends have a farm with some beef cattle, and they offered to show you around.”
“Your friends?”
“Callie and her daughter, Becky. They own Poplarcreek. Becky is about your age.”
“Sounds cool. It’s been fun, Mom, but I have a pile of homework.”
“Okay, Sam. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom, bye.”
Lauren stared at the blank screen for a moment. T.J. encouraged the increasingly frequent conversations and Lauren ensured they didn’t interfere with Sam’s schedule. She’d said Callie was a friend, but was she more? She couldn’t figure it out. With a deep sigh, she set Digit on the floor and headed to her room to change into workout gear. It was time for some physical activity to blunt her anxiety about Callie.
Forty minutes later, Lauren dropped the weights on their cradle and collapsed on the bench in her home gym. “Enough.” She plucked at the white tank top glued to her chest with sweat. Her shoulders and arms ached. She had spent too much time on her biceps and shoulders. She would pay for it tomorrow and perhaps the next day. Her exercise goal wasn’t big muscles, but to increase stamina and muscle strength in her arms, shoulders, back, and legs. Working with farm animals could be hard on the body, and staying in shape was an important part of preventing injuries.
She jabbed at her still soft stomach. Exercise was also about getting fitter although she’d never measure up physically to Mitch. “And why am I even trying?” She hadn’t had a flat stomach since she was a child. It was more important to be healthy than thin.
Lauren gazed at Digit, curled in a ball on her office chair. He followed her from room to room through the small house. “Well, sir, do I stop or keep going? Exercise is better than eating, but the chocolate peanut butter ice cream in the freezer is calling me. Big mistake to buy that, eh?” Digit peered at Lauren and she was sure he understood. “I dropped the letter off, but she hasn’t answered. What do I do, Digi?”
Bang, bang, bang.
“What the?” Lauren jumped to her feet. Digit leaped off the chair and darted under her desk.
Bang, bang, bang.
/> Lauren crept to her back door and parted the curtains an inch. Callie was standing outside with her arms crossed and her weight on one hip. The scowl on Callie’s face was frightening, and Lauren considered hiding under the desk with Digit.
“I can see you. Open up.”
Lauren stood to one side as Callie burst through the door, kicked off her boots, and stormed into the kitchen.
“I found your note. I’ve been driving around trying to decide whether to come here. Becky’s done with her painting class in thirty minutes.”
Callie sucked in a deep breath. Lauren’s skin tingled as Callie scanned her body.
“Go put something on or I’ll grab at you, and I came to talk, not ravish you.” Callie whirled and stomped into the living room.
Lauren obediently ducked into her bedroom. She stripped off the wet top and pulled on a hoodie, but she had no clean sweatpants. Lauren jogged into her living room and hunted for somewhere to sit in sweaty shorts. She dropped to the floor across from the couch and sat with her legs crossed.
Callie yanked off her coat and tossed it on the armchair. Then she perched on the edge of the couch and regarded her in silence for a few moments. “I’m confused. Do I give off a needy, pathetic vibe? Is that why you paid my bill? I appreciate your help and support, but if you think I expect you to pay my bills, you don’t understand me.”
“I thought I was helping. Honestly, Callie, I was just being nice.”
Callie sighed. “I know, Lauren.”
Elsa crept from behind the furniture and Digit tiptoed into the room. The cats peered at Callie with trepidation and slunk toward Lauren. Digit crawled into her lap and curled into a contented ball as she petted him. Elsa posed, sitting with her tail wrapped around her feet, keeping her distance.
“I prepared a speech about independence, interference, and respect.” Callie pointed to Lauren’s lap. “But all I want right now is to be Digit.”
Veterinary Partner Page 24
